Monday November 26th, 2007
Naomi screams. She yells. She thrashes around and screams again. She kicks and throws things. She is almost 2, and she’s been stuck on an airplane for almost 10 hours.
In her tears, she says “BINKY”. She takes her pacifier and throws it. She yells for it again, and throws it again. She yells “NIGHT NIGHT” wanting her blanket. I hand it to her and she throws it off. “DRINK!” I give her a sippy cup with milk and she tries to throw that (so glad she didn’t hit the guy in 25E because she has kicked him enough on this flight).
I figure 25E is okay, he’s a dad. But his middle-school aged kids sitting next to him have been doing their homework quietly for hours. I know someday that will be us, but I also know I don’t want to rush it. The days of play dough and stickers will be gone forever, it seems.
Everything I give her, this whirlwind of energy in the body of a toddler, everything she asks for, she decides she doesn’t want. I am trying desperately to understand her little mind, her heart. She gets what she asks for, but it doesn’t satisfy whatever is fueling her fire. She is unhappy, evidently, and as her mother, my inside desire is to soothe and calm her. My words are nothing to her when she is in the midst of a tantrum, and nothing said or sung offers any salve.
She just doesn’t know what she wants.
And even though her vocabulary has grown exponentially in the past weeks and month, she still does not have enough words or self-knowledge to express herself adequately. She doesn’t know so, neither do I.
So today, there are more tantrums. But they are in the comfort of my living room or backyard. She is free from her car seat and stroller, for today at least. I look at her, try to figure out what exactly it is she wants, and try to provide the right boundaries for her.
I sincerely want to be able to see inside her, deep inside the complexities of this baby. I know there is a lesson to learn here, in her: to ask for things carefully and to thoughtfully consider what satisfies. And also, of course, what does not.
And not to throw the binky when someone gives it to you.
I feel your pain, Sarah! I’m glad you’re home though, safe and sound, and maybe ready to hunker down for awhile? Prayers as you all try and readjust to the time change again.
Welcome home! I too feel your pain – ouch! Sometimes you want to be able to just read their thoughts and know what would make them happy, what would satisfy these little people. I have been there and I am entering that world again with the baby.
I hope you can rest, relax, and enjoy some down time now that you are home!
Sounds all too familiar…I beleive that God gives us these children to stretch us, to teach us. I have learned so much by parenting my own strong child. And I have so much more to learn.
Welcome Home! It was great following your adventure in London. I really enjoyed the pictures too.
So, now when I post our family vacation stories, you’ll be able to relate to the jetlag stories—-times 6.
Glad you are home again.
Welcome home, mate!
That age on a plane is TOUGH, no doubt. Glad you made it through.
Welcome home! I so enjoyed reading all your posts when you were gone. Thank you for sharing your trip with us.
Boy, do I understand about tantrums…everyday in our home. I feel your heart & understand…
I hate parenting under a microscope. Glad you’re home and can begin to transition into regular life. Sounds like a great trip.
welcome home.
at times like these (which seems like so long ago) i recall just joining my child in a good cry.
i’m 34 and still throwing my binky!
because i cannot find the words to express all that is inside.
“Oh Lord, you search me and know me.” Psalm 139:1
May God search you and know you today Sarah, be near. Search and know Naomi, comfort, and love her today. May He give you rest, and also refresh you.
Okay – so I hope it goes without saying that I completely get this one. *sigh* They are little puzzles and sometimes the windows into their minds are clearer than others. I give you MAJOR props for doing the plane trip — I shudder even THINKING about that with the Hurricane.
sarah, you so accurately describe this stage in our toddler’s lives. it can be so frustrating at times, not knowing what they want. you are incredible for braving a plane ride, a new country, a different time zone, and a toddler! i’m so glad you’re home!