My mother observed something at once simple and profound about my toddler. Something that my wiser mother-friends have told me about toddlers. Something that I should have remembered having already endured my oldest daughter’s two-year-old woes a few years ago.
Transitions. Transitions are hard for little ones. Last week I lamented that my youngest screamed at the top of her lungs for most of the morning, and then the remainder of the afternoon after her too-short nap.
I complained to my mother (as all good daughters should) and in her unobtrusive manner of giving advice, she reminded me that 2 year olds have difficulty with simple transitions. OH YEAH…
Let her finish brushing her teeth before I whisk her into the bathtub. Explain to her (I really think she is beginning to understand) what our day entails and where we are going next. Give her 10 and 5 minute warnings – this is the only way they learn even long before they understand time concepts.
So, I have begun to warn her before we are getting ready to leave. I tell her what we will be doing each morning. She hasn’t been tantruming nearly as much this week as she sings the word, MARKET, when I tell her where we are going. Instead of picking her up and laying her down to change her diaper (from which I received many kicks squared to my chest last week), I am now asking her to get a diaper and lay down in front of me. If she doesn’t concede, I gently pick her up and explain to her that she must lie down so I can give her a fresh diaper.
Seems like an easy concept. Even I relish in knowing (at least in general) what is coming up next. I don’t like to be rushed. Neither does my baby. She fights the rush with every ounce of energy in her little 3T body. It doesn’t mean changing my schedule to fit her – quite the opposite. All it means, is beginning the process of transitions earlier and not allowing myself to get behind so we are all running out the door at the last minute, shoes in hand and coats flying. It means fitting HER into MY schedule in a way that suits her. It means taking the time to watch her.
She is still quickly approaching two. She still screams, loudly and often. But this week has been much more peaceful in this home, and I imagine, in her little heart as well.
sometimes it seems so simple… glad a little change has brought more peace.
Your Mom is wise – I like to know what is coming up too – why wouldn’t our kids! Glad it’s helping.
So glad this week has been better. Sometimes it is just about giving them more time – just as moms being more prepared so life isn’t a rush out the door. Each time we leave in a rush or I am hurrying kids here or there I think, if only I had focused more on them instead of what I needed to get done our morning would have gone more smoothly. It is a lesson I am still learning. I like to be prepared for what the day holds and I need to remember the kiddos do too!
So funny. It sounds so simple and peaceful, but the reality is that by the 10th time I’ve told Jack, “first the breadstore, then the mall, then to dance…” I’m ready to scream, myself!
But you’re right – we all need the comfort of predictability.
My mom always tells me, “we are all
entitled to a bad mood now and then.” It’s true – I tend to think while I am entitled to a bad mood every once in awhile, the kids most definitely ARE NOT.