On the way home from Hope’s dance class last night, in the cool suburban twilight, Hope asks me why we don’t live in the country. She asks me why we can’t see the stars. Its hard to explain to her about the urban electric glow at night, the ambient light from all the street lights, the stadiums, the homes, how it all glares upward to hide the stars that are really there. Through the marine layer and through the smog, the night sky is truly there in it’s deep blackness; the stars are vivid and bright and the planets can be seen. Orion is dressed in his winter brilliance and steadfastness. The stars are there, really, we just can’t see them.
It is hard to explain to her that in my own little girl heart, I wish we could see the see the stars too. I wish the city’s lights didn’t fade the beauty of the night sky, that the dark-brownish sky really isn’t how it is meant to be viewed.
Chad and I’ve grown up here. Our families are here, our business, our established friendships – all of it is here. Grandparents, church, home, history – the life that is familliar, it is in California.
My heart ached when she finally said, I just want to see the stars…
How can I explain to her how the same desire is in my own heart, but that as her parents, we’ve decided that the relationships she is able to develop with her grandparents and her family is WORTH not being able to see the stars each night?
I know some of her country-desire is fueled by the fact she wants a pasture that has pens for both her unicorn and her pegasus, and then one for her normal horse too. I know that she dreams, as a six-year-old girl, in giant leaps and wide-arching thoughts and consequences are things she is just beginning to understand.
I think she gets it. Her next wish was that we could live in the country, but then all of our friends would come to live too. It seems she understands the importance of relationship and I think she is beginning to learn that sometimes you must choose between two good things; that some choices have drawbacks but that there are worthy benefits.
I say to her, “I know, baby, we all just want to see the stars.”
I love how you capture her vivid imagination.
It sounds like you are right where you belong, stars or no stars.
She’ll understand. We all have our choices to make, and sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes even I find myself wanting to live somewhere new, somewhere different, and then I think of my family, and decide I’m exactly where I should be.
Come visit us for your country fix. Unless the fog rolls in and we can’t see the stars either!!
I love how children’s hearts are so…honest and uncensored.
I can relate with you and Hope. It was hard to leave behind sunshine, blue skies, and unbelievable mountains. Michigan has it’s own beauty, of course, but Colorado was my dream. But our family is here, our ties are here. This is where we want our children to grow up…knowing their cousins and spending weekends at ‘papa & nanas’.
Maybe you’ll be able to see the
stars in Monterey….
My oldest is always saying he wishes one pair of grandparents lived to the right of us and the other pair to the left. Because of my husband’s job we live away from family. Thank goodness we have great friends! You are blessed to be near your family, you can always visit the stars!
James and I have had this discussion for 17 years! He wants to go, says it’s better for our kids, etc…I stand firm because I believe relationships that have roots are more important. However, I have those moments when I’m ready to pack
It’s true, it’s a trade off. I just keep an open line with Jesus and if he tells me one day to go, I will.
oops, that was me above!
That picture is absolutely amazing!
We do live in the country and my 6 year old spends his days wishing he was in California, surfing.
Hope is blessed to be able to have those relationships with her grandparents! It breaks my heart that our kids are missing out on time with their cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents because of our move – but we followed the Lord’s call (and the job). There is a purpose and it was a hard choice to be obedient when part of us just wanted to stay where we were.
My hubby and i both grew up in the country (he had horses) – I think we appreciate more as adults than as kids. I love going home and having that peace and serenity.
This post brought tears to my eyes! Tell Hope I hear her, she echoes my cry at times!