I have never tried so hard to make something perfect.
Even the beautiful three layer carrot cake with sweet cream cheese frosting and chopped walnuts on top: even that creation looked great and I didn’t try that hard. I just gathered the ingredients, set aside a time for baking and followed a recipe.
There is no real recipe for writing. This article that I am attempting to perfect (with the profound and extensive editing advice of three friends) is driving me crazy. I guess I had fancied myself someone to whom easy words came fast and furious, and that I could work with them well on a page.
I am not so sure anymore.
I’ve worked on the same tiny thousand-word article for about a week now, melding my friends’ editing suggestions into my own work and still trying to retain my voice. I have reworked and restructured and reworded; I’ve removed adverbs and adjectives and replaced them with stronger verbs. I’ve put it to bed and then revisited it the next morning.
You know when you read the same word over and over again it begins to not look like a word any longer. Then you think you are crazy because you know it is a word in your head (heck, you’ve written zillions of papers and a thesis way back when – you should know the English language). Then you show the word to your husband and say something like, “I know this sounds silly, but is ‘Easter’ really a word?”
He looks at you like you should be committed.
That is what I feel about this article. I’ve read the same words and rewritten the same sentences over and over and it is beginning to look like a mumbling mess.
I guess it won’t be perfect. Even if I structure it perfectly and the ideas flow well from one to the next, the publisher still might not like it (unlike my carrot cake which everyone loved). This particular article probably won’t be accepted. At least this time.
My only solace is that working this hard and this long on the same 1000 words will produce something. It may not be perfect, but it will be written well. Even if it is not published in the compilation I am sending it to this weekend, it will be mine to work with again and resubmit it else where.
And maybe like my three-tiered carrot beauty from last weekend, it will be good even if it does lean a little to the right.
I love carrot cake sans the coconut and raisins, and I love your writing. Please don’t give up!
I was just re-reading a little book one of my favorite professors from college wrote about breaking writer’s block. Something he wrote about finishing a paper, a book, whatever it is, stuck with me, and I thought it was apropos to share with you: “Not only is anything worth doing worth doing wrong, anything worth doing is impossible to do perfectly.” He also said “Be prepared for the exhaustion and worry at the end or you may never turn the paper in…Just hand your paper in.”
I think the care and attention you’ve given your piece will be its own reward…After you drop it in the mail, celebrate! (Maybe with some carrot cake?!)
I love what hannah m had to say. I’m also so impressed with your dedication. I love to read your words, and I’m so glad that you’re following your dream!
I’m proud of you Sarah..hang in there and remember your gift is from the Lord…You’re awesome at it..and I’d really like a bite of that carrot cake. Can I come over??
Hey friend… I just caught up for the last week or so when I was home and didn’t have internet on my computer. you are so amazing… you never fail to find a new, unique, beautiful way to describe the reality of your life that i sometimes get a glimpse into. you are really talented, sarah! and your words are a precious, pricelss gift to me… on this blog, and even more so in life. i mean that. love you!
Ugh. I know just what you mean.
I also like what Hannah M’s professor had to say. Very true!
Keep on keepin’ on!
I’m editing now, too! I feel your words and exhaustion. Can’t wait to read this 1,000 word masterpiece. I assure you it is
Thank you all so much for your kind words!!!
This is so exciting to see you branching out. It really is – I’m waiting expectantly with each piece you work on.
Writing is MUCH harder than it looks – in fact, the best pieces look quite effortless! I am impressed with you, Sarah, for trying so hard and hanging in. Just because it’s hard work doesn’t mean it isn’t good enough. I don’t think any writer would ever say it comes easy. At least, none that I’ve ever heard!
I look forward to hearing more about your efforts. It’s very interesting to me. Creativity is actually quite miraculous, even though it feels so difficult.
I want to come over with Earen for carrot cake!
I also like what Hannah M’s professor said – interesting insight.
Through this process of working and refining your article, you are learning and growing as a writer. The process and what you learn can be just as important as the final product (which I am sure is fantastic). You are using the gift God has given you and He will bless you. Keep going – know you are an inspiration to your faithful readers
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Oh, you are funny.
And you can do it.
I know that feeling though. Sometimes I can’t recognize a word at all, it just looks so strange if you stare too hard.
Your words hit the spot. I know I am not a writer other than research papers and my blog, but in the capacity in which I write, I have felt this. Writing is an outlet and when I can’t find the words to articulate what I want to say… it’s frustrating. But when you break through to the other side, there will be something learned for a lifetime!!