Words have power.
Spoken,
sang.
Whispered,
written,
or unsaid.
The words of a friend are among the strongest.
I asked for help with something I was writing. I wanted critique and I wanted advice. I want to get better and to advance in this craft. I really need to learn. I sent a short article-length manuscript to three friends, exposed myself to their wisdom and waited. Vulnerability is difficult.
Faithful as friends are, they responded. I have never seen as much “red pen” in my life, even as a former English teacher. Rewrite across the top would have been easier for each one of them. They each have jobs, families and much more important responsibilities than helping me with my article.
Getting their three responses back, I might have been tempted to procrastinate. Its easier to leave the emails in my inbox. Instead, I printed each one out and laid them out on my bed, complete in their marked-through finery. I cringed first, but then I began to wholeheartedly agree. The sections I knew needed work, they each noticed too. The sentences I couldn’t seem to write well were marked with better ideas. In fact, each one of them (from different corners of the country) agreed with each other without discussing it with among themselves.
I actually surprised myself with my own response. Instead of feelings of rejection or hurt, I nearly immediately felt gratitude. I agreed with them and I felt so thankful that I had women who cared enough about me and wanted me to advance in this craft that they spent the time to give me their helpful and detailed edits.
Patronizing words are powerless. Words spoken in love with truth are priceless.
Thank you, friends.
thank you for the reminder that sometimes those words that are hardest to hear bring the greatest reward- when we allow ourselves to listen.
I discovered your blog through Lisa Leonard’s, and have really enjoyed reading your writing. I really admire the fact that you’re practicing and learning and connecting as you work on your craft. It’s inspiring!
It is so true Sarah – those honest words are priceless. We just need to be open to hearing the words, letting that truth take root, and using that truth to improve.
I am proud of you! It isn’t easy letting yourself be vulnerable. You are learning and growing – and we are benefiting from your wonderful writing.
That’s wonderful Sarah. It’s awesome that you have friends that care enough to help and be honest with you.
So true! The truth in love is so beautiful.
Absolutely dead right.
A writer’s best friend is an honest critique.
And sometimes, critiques hurt.
But it’s the only way I’ve ever grown as a writer.
Keep it up!
You are such a great writer. I love you, friend.
What a gift of words you have.
Yes, true friends are those who speak the truth in LOVE.
I just added you to my blog’s favorite sites so that others can glean from your insightful words.
As our great friend Annie would say, I want to put you in my pocket and take you home! We just want to help you, thanks for being vulnerable.
Glad you are getting honest, loving feedback. You are starting from very solid *talented* ground and stretching yourself to grow more and take risks. I love you and I respect you so, so much. Keep it up girlie!!
I just got my manuscript back from a friend and it was filled with corrections. I was overwhelmed at the work I’d need to do, but so thankful like you were.
*whew*
You just never know.
strong post, Sarah…. strong post. i’ve found the same scenario to be true in songwriting as well.
i’m nervous, but also looking forward to some of the constructive criticism i might gain from posting a song or two.
YIKES!!! you are a brave woman!!!
That is wonderful. Keep those friends around. You will learn and grow as a result. My husband does this for me (when I let him). It always hurts a little at first, but like you said, I end up agreeing with him.