I’ve grown up worried about being left behind.
I always felt like I couldn’t keep up…
with the money spent on clothes.
with my best friend’s new friend.
with the kids who had cars.
with the ones whose parents let them do whatever they wanted.
And its hard, because every kid wants to blend in. And I always caught the dust of everyone who ran faster.
Even when I met my husband almost 16 years ago, it was hard to keep up with him. With all his fire and verve, and my quiet and need for stable solitude, I even felt left out with him. We must have been destined to be together because somehow it happened. And I still usually have to take two steps to his one.
The clothes and the cars don’t make me feel left behind anymore. Now it is the social awareness and the article publishing, the things I should have under-my-belt by now. Everyone seems to moving faster than me and it’s hard not to eat dust.
Do I spend $200 on new running shoes with speed sewn into the heels or do I simply walk and jog the only way I know how?
I’m realizing maybe this is why I blog. This is why I run. Maybe this is even why I write.
Because these are stable and quiet and solid. I do them alone, usually. I don’t have to keep up with anyone else, unless I choose to enter a 5K or a writing contest.
I’m never left behind as long as I keep moving forward.
Confidently, quietly and maybe even a little slow.
I’m with you, Sarah. I know exactly what you mean.
I know exactly what you mean too. Maybe not with writing, but in another area, I find myself feeling left behind. IT seems as though others I know may very well step ahead of me. I keep telling myself that God has the plan and He will work it out in His time for His glory, but sometimes I have a hard time waiting.
I understand exactly what you are talking about. So many of our friends seem to be much further along than us, but I just try to remind myself that the Lord has us where we are for a reason, even if it seems a little behind the rest of the world. Good post.
i don’t think we ever feel like we have it together. ever.
never ever.
i remember growing up, thinking my parents were perfect and strong and smart and capable and competent…
now that i’m an “adult” i’m realizing that we’re all just big kids. with more life experience, bigger running shoes, but the same interior – the same fears – the same heart…
keep running.
Yuh huh.
Thanks for being so honest, once again.
My husband lives life at a faster pace than I prefer, as well. I call him the “energizer battery” he just keeps going and going… yet I long for simpler and slower days.
It’s a learning process isn’t it?
This is soooo me. I swear we are kindred spirits.
beautiful post.
is there a way to be satisfied
being left behind? satisfied not being on the ladder of success, or beauty, or anything?
being comfortable in my own skin means staying away from the ladder.
still i always place a foot on, climb a rung or two, and i find once again that i do not fit in.
i think jesus stayed off the ladder, which is why i will only fit, when i am off.
sarah, you make me think to deep! ahhhhh!
are you at hume??
how was your chicken salad?
somebody’s nosey (who me?)
and has been on f.b. too
you are way hipper than you give yourself credit for! i am always one step behind you!! love ya!
I so needed this today. I am feeling the same things. I just turned in the WORST short story to a big contest. After re-reading it post submission I saw a hundred things I hated. Too late now. I am feeling blue and defeated and frustrated because I know I could do better. Or can I????
Love your honesty.
this post resonated with things i have been feeling lately with playing that comparison game. ugh! thanks for sharing sarah – word i needed to hear.
I am turning 40 in a week…You have all surpassed me. I am still sitting on the bench trying to figuir out how to tie my shoes.
Sarah you have a beautiful soul.