I have a tattoo.

I can barely see it if I strain and look over my shoulder and down my back. To see it well I have to stand with my back to the mirror and still turn to look.

I started at 156 pounds several weeks ago.

And the scale on the floor of my bathroom is moving ever so slowly down toward my goal of 141. 15 pounds total. Not because I am obese. But because I’ve gained this amount of weight over the past year because of poor eating habits and a lack of discipline. And because my jeans weren’t fitting.

If you are new to my journey, click here to watch my first confession.

I am trying to get this part of my life under control. And as it turns out, I am learning a lot about myself in the process.

Another simple broadcast in my quest to bring myself under control.

Closer to the 4s from Sarah Markley on Vimeo.

He’s funny.

He’s addicted to his Blackberry.

Last week I sat and let the garage salers come to me. This week I ran from driveway to driveway looking at other people’s junk…while they sat.

My friend and I had intended to drive to another neighborhood Saturday morning to run 3 laps of 1 1/2 mile loop around a local reservoir. We parked, got out and realized that the reservoir path was closed to pedestrians due to construction.

So we just started jogging, and we found a garage sale. We stopped, with absolutely no money in hand, and browsed. A quick look, then we started off again only to discover it was a community-wide garage sale. Dozens of yard sales, hundreds of people milling around already at various homes around the neighborhood.

We decided we would try to find every garage sale in the neighborhood and follow every sign.

And we did, stopping at every pile of junk/treasure displayed on lawns and driveways, the garage sales creating instant friendship among patrons the way that only phenomena like this can.

We found a 1968 fully restored Corvette. And some bedroom furniture. And another jogger stroller (I just sold two last week). We found boxes of really old books withdrawn from public libraries and VHS tapes for 2$ a pop. A beach cruiser bicycle, a set of old (but not expensive) china, toys and scooters, paintings, and 80s era Americana art.

We ran up and down the maze of hills and cul-de-sacs and laughed between every sale.

Intentions aside (5 1/2 miles would have been a better workout, maybe), but I had the best time I’ve ever had on a jog.

And…I almost went back for a princess mirror, but I decided that less is more. Plus, I don’t think I could have found the right house anyway.

My best friend sits across from me at lunch.

And, in her almost-no-baby-left-voice, and with her smile that is stretching to look more like a little girl, she looks up at me and sighs.

I have a friend Mandy. I didn’t know her before I started blogging. And now I do.

In fact, I’m going to visit her next month. Did I mention she lives in Boston?

Call me crazy, but I think only bloggers understand the connection and community that can come from this type of friendship.

She asked me to write a post for her about what I DO. What do I DO? For the church. For Christ. For others.

I DO a lot. Like change dirty diapers (still, yes, I know – we are working on the potty training). I cook dinner. I drive little girls in leotards to gymnastics and little girls in boots to horse riding lessons. I make lunches every morning. I try to take time to write. I serve on our Women’s Ministry board at church. And I also teach a Bible Study.

So, take a look at Mandy’s site if you haven’t already. I’m over there today writing about my little corner of the world.

What do you DO? What would you like to DO?

I have a friend who quit her job, moved 4 hours away, and became a full-time writer.

She is totally living my dream life. She writes, writes, writes until she’s exhausted. Then she writes some more. She drinks coffee. She talks with her friends. She sits down to write again. She posts a blog entry once in awhile. She also meets famous people.

Again, this is my dream job.

I realized this tonight: someone I actually know in real life is living my dream.

But my next thought, tumbling quickly after the first, is that God has placed me right in the center of my own dream. My own handcrafted dream life different from anyone elses.

Of course I’d love to write full time, spend mornings thinking and afternoons getting it all out in text. I couldn’t imagine being able to walk in the hills or in the downtown streets drinking in the world for inspiration, and then return to my desk to work.

But my life, my imperfect, rotten-milk, dried-cheerio, cat-vomit, dusty-television, laundry-folding life is right where I belong. It is also my toddler-giggling, first-grader-reading, husband-loving, comfy-bed, kitty-purring, good-book-reading life.

My dream job is to be where I am right now. Maybe someday I’ll think in the mornings and write in the afternoons, but today, this morning, I’ll take a 6 year-old to school and come home to care for my sniffly toddler. I will wash the breakfast dishes and then I’ll plop on the sofa next to her to watch a movie.

This IS my full time dream job, created and hand-picked just for me. I’m living it.

My writer-friend. She is living HER dream job, the one that has been crafted just for her.

I am an all-or-nothing type of girl.

I don’t like that part of me. It has gotten me into some trouble. But it also translated into really good grades in high school and college, and determination to finish most things I begin.

But with my more recent attempts at weight loss, my all-or-nothing mentality has really been a day to day thing. One day, I’ll do great on everything, and then the next day I feel like a miserable failure.

So I must learn how to balance. I need to figure out where my sweet spot is between all out diet-crazyness and downing handfuls of goldfish crackers to fill my salt craving. Balance is my new word.

Ever been on a balance board at the gym or a BOSU Ball? Have you ever lifted weights on balance discs or done ab work on an exercise ball? Training your body to right itself when caught off balance stregthens most of the large muscles of your body including your core and legs. Just the simple act of trying to remain upright helps you to become more fit.

So, I need the equivalent of a balance disc for my eating and exercising habits. I need to train myself to make the small changes needed to remain upright and on track with my plan. I need to try forget the all-or-nothing mentality. I need to stick with it even when I feel like I’m going to fall flat on my rear.

Balance from Sarah Markley on Vimeo.

I am still praying for you all who are joining me on my long journey. Hopefully you all have learned something about yourselves somewhere along the way too.