When I was in 2nd grade I stabbed Brandon Cleary in the leg with a pencil.
I totally remember it. It wasn’t my fault. My teacher put my desk next to his in an attempt to reorder the classroom and I just didn’t like him. He probably picked his nose and flicked the booger at me or maybe he made a mean face at me. Anyway, I stabbed him the thigh.
Of course he howled and I got in trouble.
But seriously, it wasn’t my fault. If he wasn’t sitting close to me he wouldn’t have been near enough for me to stab him. What could I do? I have always had issues with self-control.
Apparently, lack of self-control is genetic. My first grade daughter sits next to a “Brandon”. He’s probably totally innocent of real wrongdoing, but for some reason, he bugs her. He talks to her in class when they should be working. He touches the stuff on her desk when they both should be listening. I asked her if she likes him and she replied that she doesn’t like him or not like him, but that, Mom, aren’t we supposed to love everyone anyway.
Oh, yeah. Of course we are. Forget that I asked you that.
Last week he threatened to tell on her for something she didn’t even do. So she grabbed/squeezed/pinched his arm. She got in trouble and was forced to “pull a ticket” which is the first grade equivalent to detention (she lost her recess privilege). We talked about on the way home from school: what happened, what would have been better choice in the same situation.
She said (her idea, I promise) that next time “Brandon” bothers her, she was just going to put up her “wall”. I was curious what she meant. She put up her hand next to the side of her face, fingers spread wide, and told me that she was just going to try to ignore him the next time he did something that might get her in trouble too. Her wall. She was going to pretend that he was on the other side of a wall.
Hmm. Great idea, I thought. In the past week, I think it has worked for her (although she did get in trouble for pushing Andrew in PE because he “wasn’t running fast enough”). I remind her every morning to put up her “wall” and to try to keep control of her actions, words and feelings.
Actually, this sounds like a good idea for adults. The barista gets impatient because I’m not ordering fast enough? Put up my wall. The guy behind me honks because I don’t speed off the line at a newly green traffic light? Put up my wall. Telemarketers at dinnertime, breakfast time and anytime? Put up my wall.
Either way, I need to take a lesson from my first grader once again and not allow the words and actions of others affect me the way I allow them to. I can’t control others but I surely can control myself.
A wall might have helped me in 2nd grade with Brandon Cleary, but then again, maybe not. I think he was a booger-eater.
Is that sort of like ’speak to the hand’?
That IS a great idea. I need to share with my 6-year-old son who has always been so complacent, but is now being a little more aggressive.
Thanks.
That’s funny. I have a pretend “wall” that I pull down when my husband is teasing me or giving me a hard time and I don’t want to hear anymore. He laughs. My daughter has picked up on pulling down the pretend wall. It can be a good visual reminder of the kind of attitude we need to have with annoying people – huh?
Oh Sarah, this sounds so much like my 1st grade daughter! We just had our parent/teacher conference. She’s doing great…except that she needs to “get along with others better.” I’ve tried to teach her to put up a “wall”. Not working. I hope someday it sinks in…
be careful, sometimes booger eaters wipe their boogers on your walls.
i know, i have cleaned their boogers off of my walls.
patrick hampton was my brandon. i was sent to the principles office..ME! i was quiet, sweet, good (WAS). dumb patrick hampton.
That was just funny!
And Denise’s comment just added to my giggles!
Yes, I totally see “talk to the hand” as synonmous with “putting up a wall”. Good advice, little one!!
Oh, Brandon Cleary deserved it.
What an insightful little girl you have!
She is a smart one with good words
i love your writing! i smiled the whole through this.
and you know…your little one probably gets a lot of that smart thinking from a smart mama.
just sayin’
I could use a little more of the “wall” with crazy booger eaters myself!
Doing great, Sarah, besides hating being pregnant (it’s just not my thing…love the ends, not the means, you know?) How about you?
You should know something about me.
In elementary school, I kicked a boy named Ray Lack. Hard, in the shin. He deserved it because he kicked me first and because I thought he was dumb.
Isn’t that awful? I feel bad for that kid. Who knows what his life at home was? Everyone at school hated him.
Anyway, good concept: put up a wall. I am excellent at that actually and use it to avoid people in the grocery store that I do not want to talk to (former Pastor’s wife here).
The world would be a better place if we could all just find our “wall” when necessary