A few months ago, around the time my husband went to band camp, I made a promise to myself. One of those tell-no-one-inside-resolutions that you carry deep with no real need to talk about it unless someone asks.
I resolved that, in regard to music (my husband’s passion and lifeblood), I would try to always say YES. I wouldn’t try to keep him home if he wanted to go to a practice. I wouldn’t try tear him away from the guitar or piano to ask him to wash the dishes or engage the girls. I wouldn’t balk at him making music or worship plans without considering our family schedule. I would just simply say YES.
He’s played with a pick-up band made from friends and musicians from church a few times at our local Starbucks, and most recently, at a Mexican restaurant last Friday night for a friend’s birthday party. When he talked to me about the practices and the times he would have to work on the music with the other guys, I didn’t say NO. I said, SURE.
Chad’s strengths, however varied, do not include organization. And this “impromptu” concert was the brain child of the birthday girl’s husband, so my own husband was just along for the ride. He would be singing in front of a full band complete with girl backup singers and a set list on a spreadsheet delivered a couple weeks before the event:
“Island in the Sun” by Weezer
The Wallflowers’ “6th Avenue Heartache,”
“Crazy Love” by Van Morrison (which he dedicated to me),
“Southern Cross” by Crosby Stills and Nash
and Costello’s “She”.
He HIT it. Normally, he performs with his guitar (an easy shield to hide behind), but Friday night it was just him and his mic stand with the rest of the musicians behind him.
By the time he got to Southern Cross it was as if the spirit of classic rock itself has possessed him and his voice was the best I had ever heard. It was smooth and easy and comfortable, like he’d been born for it. His voice melted perfectly with Heidi’s and Michelle’s and it was ideal for his vocal range. He almost laughed while singing because he was having so much fun.
After the concert/birthday party, one of the girls who sang backup for him walked over to us and asked me,
“What’s it like being married to butter? Because that’s what his voice is – butter…”
I had to agree. His voice was smooth like butter. And I was glad I said YES, and that I could witness it bring him so much joy. I was glad I said YES to him 12 years ago and that I said YES to him about what he loves so much.
On your profile you said that you are a writer. What do you write? Your blog is very good and very “storyish”.
wash wash – i’m just getting started. trying to break into magazines. i’ve been to a writer’s conference that changed my life!!!
i see that both you and “mr. butter” have things you are passionate about.
do you think that passionate parents raise children into passionate adults?
i hope so!
i too am passionate about worship and music. michael supports me, and doesn’t tell me no. this is such a gift to me. i think he sees me ALIVE when i am worshiping through song.
just as i see him ALIVE when he is in God’s beauty outdoors.
i hear the LIFE in you in your writing. which is why i am your biggest blogging fan (yeah, i’ll take annie, mandi, and anyone else out! well maybe not your dad).
October 14, 2008 8:13 AM
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I love the love you show for Mr. Butter. How fun it must have been for him and then to be able to get off the stage to a supportive wife.
Love it!!!
I like the idea of saying “yes”. My hub would prob appreciate a lot more “yeses” in his life! (btw, I pronounce my name Mare as in care, en, like saying the letter “n”. Rhymes with Karen:)
Sarah, you are so awesome. This post is so cool and worth framing on my wall.
Your love for me is so very evident.
love you
Chad
aka Mr. Butter
I have to agree 100%, the music on Friday was wonderful. I love hearing Mr. Butter sing, heh. Your willingness to support him as much as you do is a ripple-effect blessing, and one I’m thankful for every time I get to listen
Hi Sarah, great post. I can identify with this one too. Another thing we have in common. My husband also is a musician-guitar and singer/songwriter. It is his other “love” besides me and the kids. He has a business:
http://www.goldencrownproductions.com
They put on concerts in the vineyards out here in Temecula and other areas. This summer we had Berlin, The Motels, Kris Kristofferson, Wall of Voodoo, Dave Wakeling, etc. They are amazing concerts.
Just thought I would pass that on to you guys!! SO funny, hope you are having a great day!!
Trina
Bates Nut Farm is in Valley Center (Escondido) Ca. On the way to San Diego.
Go Chad! That is so awesome. I wish I could have been there.
Hey girl..thanks for sharing. You’ve left me with the a better heart of letting my man do and be what he loves.
Hugs,
Fran
it is so important to say yes even when it would be easier to say no. good reminder that we all need someone to say yes so we can pursue those things we are passionate about without feeling “guilt”.