The older I get, the more I’m able to recognize the valleys and hills of emotion in a far better way than when I was teenager or even a young wife.
I’ve always swung between the despair and exhilaration of life in equal capacities – both passions in their own right. I should probably just apologize to my mother right here for my wild emotional sweeps between the ages of 14 and 17. I’m sorry, Mom. While I’m at it, I’ll also apologize to the 1996 through 2000 version of my husband. He received the brunt of my frequent crying and why-me? episodes. I’m sorry, 1998-Chad. I really am. I was only 23.
But, lately, it is almost as if I objectively watch myself begin to sink into depression. I can mark the day as its happening and say to myself that I am becoming sad. I see it happen. I can also see myself beginning to become excited, motivated and ready for the work ahead of me.
I feel like only recently, age 34 to be exact, am I becoming a little more aware of my emotional tendencies. I can’t predict myself with complete accuracy, but, like a meteorologist, I can tell myself there will be a chance of tears with a 20% chance of utter despair followed by a slight trend towards low motivation in the weeks to follow.
I am beginning to use this knowledge. In my marriage, I have begun to be up front with my 2009-Chad and tell him that I think I am working through a little depression. Or that I know that the next month will be exceptionally stressful for me and us as a family – maybe we should make some accomodations for each other and try to deal with things one day at a time. We should lend more grace to each other.
I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to predict my tears or anger, but I am beginning to be a student of myself and use this information to work for me. For my family.
Tomorrow? Increasing smiles with a slight chance of laughter by mid-afternoon.
I’d say you have a rainbow of insight overhead. It looks good on you
Love your forecast for tomorrow! Hope you’re right on.
i came over here expecting to see some “retro” pictures, but was delighted by this sweet post instead. i think your outlook is promising!
Sarah-
A great book to read is ” Managing your Emotions :Instead of your Emotions managing you” by Joyce Meyers.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Managing-Your-Emotions/Joyce-Meyer/e/9780446532020
I know it has helped me in the past . It has brought me out of some low moments! I like to reference it when I am starting to let my emotions take over!
Love reading your blog ! Keep up the great writing. You are very talented!
Sarah – lot of wisdom here for 34!
Great post Sarah.
Seriously, you are my kindred spirit. You’ve just described my last 2 years.
I have found this new insight to be helpful, but at the same time, I find that I kick myself more for not being able to head off disaster since I can feel that it’s coming.
I asked my mom once “it all gets easier with age, right?” She pretty much laughed in my face
Sarah, this is so familiar! I too am learning how to manage and predict my emotional swings. Good for you!
thank you sarah, again.
i think you just wrote my story, accept i am sorry to 1999-2005 michael (especially for 2003).
and i appreciate that, like me, you don’t want the gloomy weather, you hope for increasing smiles, and chances of laughter.
beautiful post!
i wish you could watch your readers faces as they read. i wish you could watch my despair turn to hope, and then to a smile..not alone, and understood.
God has given you a gift, thank you for using it for His glory.
gitz – love the rainbow idea. should have thought of that.
SG – i am! thanks. its a good day.
Memories – i should have dug up some pix, huh? =)
laura – thanks for the tip.
tammy and eve – thank you!
misty – i can so see her doing that. i can even hear her laugh.
emily – i’m so glad. =)
denise – you have no idea how much i needed to hear this.
Wonderful!
I think that one of the best things a Christian can do is give themselves permission to get sad and be sad. Don’t repent, don’t cast out a demon or jump on the Bible treadmill, just say, “God, I’m sad. And that’s okay.”
Cause we often berate ourselves for being sad. And get sadder because of it. Feelings aren’t wrong, they just are. What we do with them, that’s the trick.
You could not have said that more perfectly, Brad. Ty
amazing transparentsy. good stuff. this will make your life go smooth as silk…..
What a insightful post!
sometimes i feel in touch and sometimes, i am blindsided by my grumpiness or sadness. it’s great to warn others when possible. mostly i want to try to be rational. love you friend!!
Gosh, I love you.
WISE Sarah. WISE.
so so insightful. i need to be better about forecasting to my family. i am usually pretty stable but there are those times…. thanks sarah.
this was so, so good. and i relate in so many ways.
losing it and finding the answers to explain it away is complicated,just accepting our short comings and making allowances for each othercan be the most freeing and unselfish act of the human soul to the other…cheers again Sarah,and thank you.
I so needed to hear this Sarah. You just continue to bless me and encourage me.
Thank you.
Hi Sarah… I’m new to your blog & think God pointed me to you today for a reason. Find it entertaining how similarly we are wired. [and my own husband will wholeheartedly attest to the passionate emotional swings]
I’ve tried to keep track in a half-hearted attempt to be prepared for potential onsets, but end up getting distracted. Thankfully I’m at the point of realizing when I’m in the middle of said episode… just need to work on reading the warning signs a bit sooner.
So glad I found your blog. Look forward to hanging out here more often