Comments on: My New Name – Part 4 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/ The Best Days of My Life Wed, 08 Sep 2010 02:08:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: The Fear of Mending – Sarah Markley « Naomi Leigh http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-9292 The Fear of Mending – Sarah Markley « Naomi Leigh Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:28:07 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-9292 [...] When the pain in me became to great to  bear and the current state of me was uglier than I knew I could repair on my own, I broke in half. [...] [...] When the pain in me became to great to  bear and the current state of me was uglier than I knew I could repair on my own, I broke in half. [...]

]]> By: Pam http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-8633 Pam Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:48:02 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-8633 As I read this emotional story, I am reminded of my Pastor's message this past Saturday night; letting the "little foxxes spoil the vinyard". Satan is so subtle. This further reminds me of that and thank you for your courage to tell your story! I am in awe of your courage to share your most intimate story with other women, young and old. As I read this emotional story, I am reminded of my Pastor’s message this past Saturday night; letting the “little foxxes spoil the vinyard”. Satan is so subtle. This further reminds me of that and thank you for your courage to tell your story! I am in awe of your courage to share your most intimate story with other women, young and old.

]]> By: Heather http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-7929 Heather Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:33:14 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-7929 This morning I was directed to Lisa Leonard's blog through The Lovely List, and in turn I was directed here through Lisa. How grateful I am. Your story, your blog, your friends and acquaintances are so UPLIFTING. How grateful I am to have discovered so many sources of daily uplift. I am recently engaged and for quite some time (much of our time dating and anticipating the engagement) have felt a lingering anxiety or worry that our marriage would not work out. It was silly fear, and we all know that fear is not of God. Your story has only served to increase my love for my fiance, and more so, my conviction that he and I can face and conquer anything as long as we adhere to the teachings of Christ we know to be true, and put Him and His Father at the center of our marriage. My fear has dissipated, and has been replaced with the confidence that the Holy Ghost provides. I thank the Lord for sending me here, and I thank you for your courage and obedience in sharing your story. This morning I was directed to Lisa Leonard’s blog through The Lovely List, and in turn I was directed here through Lisa. How grateful I am.

Your story, your blog, your friends and acquaintances are so UPLIFTING. How grateful I am to have discovered so many sources of daily uplift.

I am recently engaged and for quite some time (much of our time dating and anticipating the engagement) have felt a lingering anxiety or worry that our marriage would not work out. It was silly fear, and we all know that fear is not of God. Your story has only served to increase my love for my fiance, and more so, my conviction that he and I can face and conquer anything as long as we adhere to the teachings of Christ we know to be true, and put Him and His Father at the center of our marriage. My fear has dissipated, and has been replaced with the confidence that the Holy Ghost provides.

I thank the Lord for sending me here, and I thank you for your courage and obedience in sharing your story.

]]> By: Melissa http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-7828 Melissa Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:21:29 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-7828 I'm not sure what to say...... I knew Chad for so long as kids. I could almost see his face as you described his anger. I flinched when he began to rage and throw things. I felt his pain. You see my dad had an affair when I was three. My mom was pregnant with my brother. His wrong choice began a terrible pattern of pain, abuse, and heartbreak in my life. I could identify with the rage. The hurt. The anger. And most dominant, the pain. When I read stories like yours it all rushes back to meet me. Like you and Chad, my life is a story of redemption. I still struggle to forgive. I sometimes feel the old familiar pain well up inside and I am always surprised by it when it comes. We are shaped by our pasts. Our hurts, mistakes, choices, and wrong turns. We are also shaped by the forgiveness, grace, mercy, compassion, and love shown us and freely given by our Savior. Thank you for sharing Sarah. I too am a "intense" person. I choose to use the word passionate. It is often that passion that gets me into trouble. Even when trying to do the "right" thing. :) Although we are different in many ways..... we are so similar. You have touched my heart and reminded me of so much. Not just the pain but of God's unfailing grace in my life. I never want to go back, but I do want to be open and available to God to use my life as a way to bring Him glory. Thank you for doing that with yours. Like so many have shared before..... I think you are brave. You could write about so many other things. But you chose the way of the deep. The way of the heart. The chains dropped when you turned on the light. God bless you guys Sarah. I too will add you to my prayers. ~m. I’m not sure what to say…… I knew Chad for so long as kids. I could almost see his face as you described his anger. I flinched when he began to rage and throw things. I felt his pain.
You see my dad had an affair when I was three. My mom was pregnant with my brother. His wrong choice began a terrible pattern of pain, abuse, and heartbreak in my life. I could identify with the rage. The hurt. The anger. And most dominant, the pain. When I read stories like yours it all rushes back to meet me. Like you and Chad, my life is a story of redemption. I still struggle to forgive. I sometimes feel the old familiar pain well up inside and I am always surprised by it when it comes. We are shaped by our pasts. Our hurts, mistakes, choices, and wrong turns. We are also shaped by the forgiveness, grace, mercy, compassion, and love shown us and freely given by our Savior.
Thank you for sharing Sarah.
I too am a “intense” person.
I choose to use the word passionate.
It is often that passion that gets me into trouble.
Even when trying to do the “right” thing. :)
Although we are different in many ways….. we are so similar.
You have touched my heart and reminded me of so much.
Not just the pain but of God’s unfailing grace in my life.
I never want to go back, but I do want to be open and available to God to use my life as a way to bring Him glory.
Thank you for doing that with yours.
Like so many have shared before….. I think you are brave.
You could write about so many other things.
But you chose the way of the deep. The way of the heart.
The chains dropped when you turned on the light.
God bless you guys Sarah.
I too will add you to my prayers.
~m.

]]> By: Katherine http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-7624 Katherine Wed, 02 Sep 2009 07:25:49 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-7624 Thank you so much for sharing this. As a single woman, it is a good thing for me to hear as well. Christ can heal, really heal all of our brokenness. Thank you so much for sharing this. As a single woman, it is a good thing for me to hear as well. Christ can heal, really heal all of our brokenness.

]]> By: Humbled wife http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-7618 Humbled wife Wed, 02 Sep 2009 00:18:51 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-7618 thank you for sharing. I have a similar story and yours gives me hope. I find the shame and guilt almost impossible to bear. I had a one night stand while drunk on a girls trip - it was two years of break down boundaries in the coming...i didnt plan it...but I allowed it to happen. Mine was a desire to be found desirable - i felt my husband didnt desire me - so i began to seek other attention - stroke my ego please...and 15 shots of vodka and a man in a far away place broke that last barrier - at last i was desirable - until i sobered up and tried to step in front of a bus. I then pryaed the plane would crash the whole way home. I walked through the front door, feel to my knees and confessed...sure i had lost my husband who I loved so very much...lost my sons...lost everything...So self centered was i that i couldnt see in the last three months before my one night stand that my husband had made an effort to change...to interact with me and show his desire...i was blind to it... My husband still hurts and rages and yells at me. its so scary and overwhelming...thank you for sharing...i still have suicidal thoughts, and i am swamped with such hatred and self loathing...i am trying to be strong but its hard...i am okay when we are together...but apart...the fear and shame overwhelms me. i find it hard to function your story gives me hope. thank you for sharing. I have a similar story and yours gives me hope. I find the shame and guilt almost impossible to bear. I had a one night stand while drunk on a girls trip – it was two years of break down boundaries in the coming…i didnt plan it…but I allowed it to happen. Mine was a desire to be found desirable – i felt my husband didnt desire me – so i began to seek other attention – stroke my ego please…and 15 shots of vodka and a man in a far away place broke that last barrier – at last i was desirable – until i sobered up and tried to step in front of a bus. I then pryaed the plane would crash the whole way home. I walked through the front door, feel to my knees and confessed…sure i had lost my husband who I loved so very much…lost my sons…lost everything…So self centered was i that i couldnt see in the last three months before my one night stand that my husband had made an effort to change…to interact with me and show his desire…i was blind to it… My husband still hurts and rages and yells at me. its so scary and overwhelming…thank you for sharing…i still have suicidal thoughts, and i am swamped with such hatred and self loathing…i am trying to be strong but its hard…i am okay when we are together…but apart…the fear and shame overwhelms me. i find it hard to function your story gives me hope.

]]> By: alece http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-7509 alece Sun, 30 Aug 2009 18:16:27 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-7509 will you tell me about your relationship with that friend? the one who confronted you and then told the pastor? and sarah? i love you. will you tell me about your relationship with that friend? the one who confronted you and then told the pastor?

and sarah?

i love you.

]]> By: Rebecca Wong http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-7496 Rebecca Wong Sat, 29 Aug 2009 15:56:56 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-7496 I love that the proof of the healing is right hear in Chad's comments each day. I love that both of you are in this sharing together. That is God being glorified over and over and over again. I love that the proof of the healing is right hear in Chad’s comments each day. I love that both of you are in this sharing together. That is God being glorified over and over and over again.

]]> By: Restored http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-7371 Restored Fri, 28 Aug 2009 05:15:35 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-7371 I am a friend from a long time a go, wondering if it's ok to write this. I'll take the risk because I need you to know how much discovering your blog today has freed me. I was hurting so much because the man I loved, who had taken a vow before God to love me for all time, had left me. He had found love and lust and comfort in other women. I adored him. I gave him many chances. I mourned the loss of him in all of the wrong ways. In a very feeble effort, I tried to depend on God to get me through that time, but I was so damaged and the fog of pain was so thick, I couldn't find his comfort. The truth is that I had not been truly broken of my own sin. Everyone around me was so angry at the one who betrayed me, they oftentimes over looked all of the poor choices I was making. This made it really easy for me to appear to be the victim. All I wanted to do was shop, smoke, drink, and be wanted by men. That would make everything better, right? I was constantly choosing compromising situations, and happy when others would join me. I can't believe what a FAKE I was. Sarah, you know me, I'm the one who told. I'm the one who knew better, but went to bars with you anyway. I'm the one who should have walked away from you the second you told me you had been cheating on Chad. Instead, because I had so much sin of my own that only you knew about, I waited. I was a coward. I wish so much that I would have been a true friend in the moment I needed to be, to both you and Chad. Instead, I did the opposite. I just got drunker. I had gotten to such a deep low, and I needed restoration in Christ, and I could no longer keep your secerets, or mine. I shared with people I knew would always love you, and never told anyone else. I have always wondered how many peoples lives I had screwed up by telling...husbands, wives, children, parents. I often wondered if I had done the right thing. Maybe it was not mine to tell. I can't tell you how much I think about this. And though I have been restored to a right relationship with Christ, and I understand that his mercy has no end, I go back and forth on whether or not I regret telling your seceret. My conclusion after reading your amazing blog is that I regret not making the right choice immediately when you told me. I regret that I was cowardly and wanted to cover my own sin up. However, there is such a joy in me right now because after reading your story of restoration, healing, and Gods limitless love, I can NEVER be sorry I told. Thank you so much for your candor. I have read all of the comments, and am brought to tears by how much the Lord has used this in your life. You have taught me so much. Love & all of God's blessings, X I am a friend from a long time a go, wondering if it’s ok to write this. I’ll take the risk because I need you to know how much discovering your blog today has freed me.

I was hurting so much because the man I loved, who had taken a vow before God to love me for all time, had left me. He had found love and lust and comfort in other women. I adored him. I gave him many chances. I mourned the loss of him in all of the wrong ways.

In a very feeble effort, I tried to depend on God to get me through that time, but I was so damaged and the fog of pain was so thick, I couldn’t find his comfort. The truth is that I had not been truly broken of my own sin. Everyone around me was so angry at the one who betrayed me, they oftentimes over looked all of the poor choices I was making. This made it really easy for me to appear to be the victim.

All I wanted to do was shop, smoke, drink, and be wanted by men. That would make everything better, right? I was constantly choosing compromising situations, and happy when others would join me. I can’t believe what a FAKE I was.

Sarah, you know me, I’m the one who told. I’m the one who knew better, but went to bars with you anyway. I’m the one who should have walked away from you the second you told me you had been cheating on Chad. Instead, because I had so much sin of my own that only you knew about, I waited. I was a coward. I wish so much that I would have been a true friend in the moment I needed to be, to both you and Chad. Instead, I did the opposite. I just got drunker.

I had gotten to such a deep low, and I needed restoration in Christ, and I could no longer keep your secerets, or mine. I shared with people I knew would always love you, and never told anyone else. I have always wondered how many peoples lives I had screwed up by telling…husbands, wives, children, parents. I often wondered if I had done the right thing. Maybe it was not mine to tell.

I can’t tell you how much I think about this. And though I have been restored to a right relationship with Christ, and I understand that his mercy has no end, I go back and forth on whether or not I regret telling your seceret.

My conclusion after reading your amazing blog is that I regret not making the right choice immediately when you told me. I regret that I was cowardly and wanted to cover my own sin up. However, there is such a joy in me right now because after reading your story of restoration, healing, and Gods limitless love, I can NEVER be sorry I told. Thank you so much for your candor. I have read all of the comments, and am brought to tears by how much the Lord has used this in your life. You have taught me so much.

Love & all of God’s blessings,
X

]]> By: Heather http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/08/my-new-name-part-4/comment-page-2/#comment-7370 Heather Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:08:46 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=908#comment-7370 Sarah-I am SO blessed by your story. And today I am SO inspired by your parents. May I be the Momma to my little tiny boys that displays the Christ LOVE that your parents showed you that day and today. Sarah-I am SO blessed by your story. And today I am SO inspired by your parents. May I be the Momma to my little tiny boys that displays the Christ LOVE that your parents showed you that day and today.

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