Comments on: It’s Not Fair: A View on Feeling Hurt

By: A little bit of links » life, laughter and little things

A little bit of links » life, laughter and little things — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 18:54:42 +0000

[...] post by Sarah Markley about Choices is definitely worth reading and so is this one called “It’s Not Fair“. Take time to read them both if you [...]

By: Mike

Mike — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 00:57:16 +0000

So amazing at how much this is helping me Again over a year later. I couldnt process this last year, but after a lot of soul searching I know what needs to be done. Thank you again

By: Charlena Lisko

Charlena Lisko — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 20:10:31 +0000

I have been a reader for a long while, but this is my first time as a commenter. I just wanted to say that this has been / is my favorite entry of yours! Keep up the great work and I’ll keep on coming back. If you’d be interested in swapping blogroll links with me, thanks. direct car insurance australia

By: Joshua

Joshua — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 20:17:42 +0000

Thank you for this, for your whole web site and the courage to share your story, and for this passage today. As someone who – shamefully – revels in the rare instances where I’m “in the right” or have “the moral high ground” in conflicts with my spouse, your words are resonating with me deeply. God bless.

By: Rhonda Jane

Rhonda Jane — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:31:16 +0000

I agree with moving forward. I agree that it is only in God’s grace that we can do so. I believe in forgiveness. But to put a deeper thought on the issue let’s consider: an abusive husband (physical, verbal, mental) or wife. It is my belief that we can forgive the person, allow for God to heal their deepest hurt so they can become whole and stop the abuse, and move forward together as one. However, I do not believe that if it is continual and apologies do not follow up with sincere efforts such as counseling and a change in behavior that it is acceptable biblical to walk away. Some would say that Jesus died on the cross and endured such suffering and loved us unconditionally knowing so many would reject Him and that we are to do the same. That we do not ‘deserve’ anything. I do not agree based on what God says about husbands and wives. God commands husbands to treat a wife a specific way and for wives to treat husbands a specific way. This is a commandment and thus we deserve to receive what God commands just as we receive salvation. That being said, “Ladies/Men, if you are in a relationship that is abusive and you are physically and emotionally ill from it and your spouse shows no sign of improvement…you do not deserve this according to God’s commandment to your spouse.” Feel free to disagree as the interpretation of the Word of God is subject to our own understanding of language. God bless you as you seek His perfect will for your life according to His purpose. Blessings

By: Wilma

Wilma — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 04:05:23 +0000

Carrie, I think these are valuable comments. This happened in my mother-in-law’s life also. Her husband left her for someone else and she was bitter for most of the rest of her life. What happened is that her kids often ended up resenting HER when what she wanted was for them to resent their dad! I know it was extremely difficult and I understand her better now that I have gone through it. And she didn’t have a relationship with God to help her through. She did find joy in a new husband and he treated her well, but he told me a few years back that every single day that they had been married she would make a negative comment about her ex and how he had wounded her. So she let her ex steal a lot of her joy in life. When I think about that, then I feel a bit more resolved to live life to the fullest and stop dwelling on my anger and rage! I don’t want to give up more to the Enemy than he has already stolen from me. He kicked me down and now it’s time to get up! Thanks for sharing that!

By: Wilma

Wilma — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:51:06 +0000

Thanks Sarah, for taking the time to reply. I know in my heart you are right. When my ex first left I had to learn to live in the moment, living minute by minute until I could live hour by hour and then day by day. In time I was able to see a future for myself and the kids again. God can’t control my ex and neither can I. But He can protect the kids, right. So I guess I need to go back to living day by day and stop the worry and fear and redirect the rage and anguish. And be prepared to forgive when they come back from his place. Easier to write than do! But must be done. No cop-outs allowed on this site I see Thank you for blessing me Sarah. God has brought a lot of good out of what Satan intended for evil in your life.

By: Wilma

Wilma — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 03:33:09 +0000

Thanks so much misty! I am touched by your response. I literally burn with anger some days and I think it is doing a lot more damage to me than him I felt myself softening a little today so the prayers must be helping I will work on this! Thank you again, for blessing me.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:58:40 +0000

Amy- I don’t know you or Sarah but I have been reading her blog. And I admire her courage and transparency. I can’t imagine the hurt and betrayal you must feel. But don’t you see that your anger is Satan’s way of keeping you trapped? About 15 years ago my grandfather left my grandmother for another woman and married that woman. What he did was wrong. But she held on to her anger. It has effected her relationships with all her kids and all her grandchildren. And because she still holds on to that anger. She’s alone and angry. I’ve often wondered if she would’ve have let go how different her life would be. How she would love people more and how much joy and restoration God could have done in her life. I still pray that’s possible…but she’s getting older and has wasted so many years being angry. The more you hold on to your anger…the more the enemy robs you of another day of God’s plan for you. Please…for the sake of your future and the future of others…let go of the anger (with God’s help).

By: Elizabeth Esther

Elizabeth Esther — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:10:39 +0000

xox! you know i love you, too, my dear heart friend. you inspire me to do brave things. ((hugs))