I’m watching my seven-year-old on her big girl bike. No training wheels, just two thin tires separating her from the pavement.
Her legs (that have grown two full inches since the beginning of the summer) make long rotations. She rides down to the end of the street, her new limit being the farthest house. And when she gets there, from where I sit on the lawn, she’s as small as the tiniest mailbox.
She makes a turn about and heads back toward us, fast, legs spinning, and her sister whines, “I wanna go!”
But she can’t. As a three-year-old on a tricycle she could never keep up. Her legs are shorter. Her method of transportation is far beneath her sister’s. She pedals fast, three wheels squeaking, but she just can’t compete.
She melts into a puddle of crying and wishing on the afternoon cul-de-sac and gives up. Her sister speeds past her and down to the end again.
What my youngest doesn’t understand is that when she’s big enough, she’ll be on two-wheels too, riding down to the end of the block in a purple helmet. Her wheels won’t squeak anymore and she’ll forget that she was ever three years old.
She’ll have a different tool to help her get where she wants to go. She just has to wait.
But she shouldn’t give up now. She just needs to keep moving forward. If she can get over the fact that her tricycle wheels squeak and that she’s shorter than her sister, and that she is moving painfully slow, she can get there. Eventually.
She just has to be okay with her tricycle.
I have to be okay with my tricycle.
Rusty, squeaking wheels and all. Remembering that I will get there, maybe slower than someone else, but I will get there.
The tools I’ve been given may not be the same as someone else’s. I may not have the big girl bike yet. And I might have a long time to wait before I get it. In fact, I may never get it. But my job is to keep pedaling. I need to take the next step even if it feels quiet or slow or short.
I have to stop comparing.
I have to stop whining.
I have to be proud of my less-than set of wheels.
I can’t complain that I only have two hours a week to write, that the rest of my “life” takes up all of my time. (Never, because ohhh, it is such a good life. The best one.)
I have to keep moving forward.
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE THIS? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KEEP “MOVING FORWARD” WITH?
Oh, yes Sarah, i feel like this in this moments, as i write this comment. It’s so hard to see others on “big bicycles” while you are on your “little tricycle”. It is frustrating, it is painful, it is sad. I think that what can make me “move forward” is just seeing a glimpse of what could be or what would be if i continue moving forward. God’s promises that what i live now is a process of growth that He is doing in my life. And all the things that make me complaint that i am not as good as others or as fast as others is just what makes me unique and perfect in His eyes. Because being weak He can teach me, He can love me and He can mold me into a vessel that brings her Lord glory, above all.
Through your words, I can see two sisters riding their bikes. And, I can see us as adults accepting right where we are at … moving forward.
I have been really working through being content and trying to seek out all God is teaching me in the moment…I often compare myself to other Christians and their walk….and often have to remind myself that I have only been saved a little over a year, with no foundation of Christ before, EVER. It is ok for me to be stumbling and seeking, on the tricycle so to speak, as I am still in my toddler years in the beautiful faith. It is ok to wish for more in that respect, as I want to catch up because I love God SO much and want more and more and more:-)
Thank you for the sweet reminder and encouragement today!
Blessings,
Lindsey
So, I keep thinking, is this girl (you) just writing to me? I want so badly to live everyday as if it were my last…to soak it all up. But, I get stuck inside myself longing to be better, do better, look better, parent better, wife better…it goes on and on. Thank you so much for this post today! I NEEDED it. I know I have to stop comparing myself to others and just do the best that I can do! I just have to keep moving forward and listen for God’s voice not mine!
Thanks Sarah!!!
so insightful and articulate. thanks for you words today. xxoo
Thats funny….I was just thinking of the topic of progression, motivation and “staying the course”. I feel like I need to continue moving forward as a mother and wife. I feel as though, lately, so many things creep in my head and try to shift my focus to very “me” centered activities. Not that they are bad AT ALL, but I begin to let my mind shift and refocus on what I would like to be doing, rather than what I know is best for my family and the choices we have made…which is for me to be at home with my daughter and focused on her. There will be time for all the many other things, later.
I feel like I recently got demoted back to the tricycle!
My husband and I welcomed our second son into the world almost 8 weeks ago. It’s been such an adjustment learning to be mommy to a very energetic 2 year old and a very particular baby! I know I’ll get the big girl bike again as we settle into a routine and I learn the ropes of motherhood all over again. At some point, I know I’ll not only be on the big girl bike, but we’ll be flying full speed ahead!
In the meantime, I’m working on not wishing away the sleepless nights or messes! My grandmother tells me these are the best days of my life. And I agree.
Thanks for your posts. They really strike a chord in me and I look forward to reading them.
I totally identify with this.
I also am frustrated at not having the time that I feel I need for writing. I have twice as many draft blog posts started as I have published ones right now, not to mention all of the notes I’ve made with ideas that I have not been able to develop.
I did manage to get one posted over the weekend, and if I can get at least one a week, I’ll get getting somewhere.
Thanks for letting me know it’s okay to stick with my trike for now.
I came across your blog quite on accident, but have found myself coming back whenever I get the opportunity. Each time I’ve read a post I’ve immediately identified with it in some way. This one is absolutely beautiful and an ever gentle reminder to keep my eyes focused on my footsteps instead of someone else’s. I needed it today. And I’m sure I’ll need it tomorrow when I remember it again. Thanks for sharing your heart
Blessings!
How hard it is to be left behind on our tricycles when everyone seems to zoom ahead all around us. But, I do try to remember and to teach my children to look behind us. There are lots of people who are looking at us as models who are ahead of them on the path. We have a responsibility to live our lives with grace and mercy so as to help them along the path as well.
My Spiritual growth.
smooches,
Larie
Thanks Sarah…we encountered the very same thing today as we watched my 2 yo struggle to keep up with the 4yo. Our setting was the beach (so glorious) and our activity was gleefull running into the waves, arms flying, little squeals of delight tainted with little squeals of frustraiton. His little legs couldn’t keep up either. We just let him squeal knowing that he could choose to either enjoy the moment in his own way or choose to only see what he was missing.
I’m glad I hopped over…been feeling this way myself. I have big dreams and I want them Now! But, as with everything, God is teaching me along the way to trust Him and training me to be more like Him. If I entered into my dream without that teaching and training I might not be all that He wants me to be…so I rest in the waiting.
Wow, I needed this today! Moving on in a damaged marriage is so difficult. Somedays, it seems nearly impossible. So thanks for the reminder.
It’s always good to remember any forward movement is good movement. How much I needed to be reminded of this today. Thank you……
i feel like I am sitting on one single broken rollerskate but the laces are trailing and gotten trapped in a treadmill running in the opposite direction. i struggling with – how do I move forward when my husband wants to hold on to my sins of the past. How can I show him I am changed when he believes I am a liar. My words to him a flse, my actions without merit. We cant move forward because he believes letting go of the past is giving me a “get out of jail free”. His fear that I will repeat my past sins keep us from ever moving forward…we just plod along on our treadmill, walking over the same ground and never, ever, moving forward.
We definitely have this conflict at our house, too. And I have it in my heart, too.
This completely resonated with me today, thank you! I found your blog via (in)courage, and I love it!
I always try to remember this!!! When I started in college everyone in my circle would say you just need to learn to listen…..I was listening, I however can talk and listen all at the same time. I never told anyone else that they needed to talk more or share more of them. I always try to appreciate others for the gifts they have been given. I would not want to be part of a world where we all had the same big girl bike at the same time (we can that traffic). My gift of talking and chatting and my ability to talk and listen at the same time is a God given gift…that makes me the teacher he has called me to be. I will never be a listening pastor, or a guitar/piano playing worship leader( I can’t even play a recorder!!!)….But I can be the best me I can be training wheels, knee pads, shin guards, bumps, and bruises =0)
I love analogies that I can relate to. If said analogy involves kids, I can usually relate. In this case, DEFINITELY. About writing. And my blog. And my magazine article submissions. I have two friends that are experiencing very exciting success with their own writing and while 99% of me is genuinely thrilled for both of them, the ugly little 1% feels left out and jelous. I want that, too! Note to self: God has a perfect plan for me, too. Even if that doesn’t include “success” as a writer, it will be perfect for me. And who knows? Success could be a part of it.
Yes, I often feel like this. I have to keep my eyes on God and keep trusting him for every step in my life. Things are hairy now but I know if I trust God we will be just right. I think of it as keeping my eyes closed and letting Him lead me, like a child to the greatest surprise in my entire life! I love my husband and girls so very much…they are my entire world! Thanks for the encouragement.
I love this. Thank you!
Crazy. I feel the struggle of your youngest daughter, yet I know better. I know better than to compare, whine, or complain. It isn’t satifying and it hasn’t gotten me to where I want to be. I’m coming out of a long winter in my life. I’ve been married for 23 years, by the grace of God. We have been through many of the same struggles as you and your husband. We have recently laid all our selfish desires down and have sought counsel. Truly a week to week spiritual guidance. Ive been a christian for almost 30 years and still need the guidance. I want a big girl bike in this area of my life. So like you wrote, we are moving foreward. By God’s grace, we’ll get there. . . Eventually. I look forward to your posts. Thanks for your raw honesty.
hi sarah,
i know i’m not on the “big girl bike” quite yet and some of those i love dearest are. but you know what, over the years God has really shown me that “my little bike” is awesome and especially hand-crafted just for me. i love my friends “big girl bikes” a whole lot but for now mine is still being specially hand-crafted by my maker, who knows me best! i just always want to remember this when life throws me a curve ball, like it has lately and rejoice that my maker is holding my hand and wiping my tears right through all of it. thank you for your honesty and words of encouragement. i have led friends in need of truth and encouragement to your blog and then been led also by a friend to your blog when i needed those same things, like tonight. so thank you! ~jamie