It’s such an antiquated word. I actually hate the word. It seems so old.
But it’s something that happens every day around here.
At breakfast yesterday, I served my seven-year-old her oatmeal first, my three-year-old her cornflakes second.
Hope had already begun to eat her oatmeal when the cornflakes arrived in front of her sister in Hope’s favorite fairy-princess bowl.
Mid-bite she stopped to watch the fairy bowl, full of cornflakes, make it’s way to her sister’s place at the ta ble.
Immediately she was dissatisfied with her own meal she’d been “yum-ing” 30 seconds earlier. She wasn’t unhappy until she took her eyes off her own bowl and let them rest on something that wasn’t her’s. In a tiny-breakfast-way, she allowed what someone else had to affect her love of what she’d been enjoying and what actually belonged to her.
Coveting.
This isn’t just about a Lexus or a big house. It’s about little things that others have that I don’t.
It’s about cool websites, twitter followers or real life friendships. It’s about influence, speaking opportunities, time, body image and it could be about someone else’s husband or family.
As soon as I begin to take my eyes of of what I’ve been blessed with I instantly become unhappy with what I have.
I’ve been guilty of most forms of coveting in the past: other people’s spouses, the way other women look in bikinis, and the normal better car/house/life covet.
More recently, I’m guilty of website-envy, influence-envy, she-has-an-agent-envy, and the biggest: time-envy. Everyone seems to have more of it than me.
But it’s my own fault.
I covet. And that’s wrong.
If I paid closer attention to my own small voice and how I use it, to my own tiny snippets of time and I how I spend them, to my own writing and how to be better, then I’d be less concerned about everyone else’s.
And if I was thankful for these things, I would never want want someone else has.
I’d be happy with my oatmeal, savor it’s warmth, and thank the One who prepared it for me.
Do you covet? Does gratitude help?
Great post, Sarah–the simple things of life are where it’s easiest to slip into this sin. Yes, coveting is a sin that I battle–though it often cloaks itself under the gentler-sounding name of comparison. I.e.: Her child is so good at this, but my child has difficulty. Or, their family has such great times together, but my husband has to work so much. Or, she eats chocolate donuts for breakfast and STILL can lose weight and I watch what I eat so carefully and can’t lose a pound! (I could go on, but I’m sure you get it.)
But really what this all boils down to is coveting. John Piper once said, “Comparison kills contentment.” I have found this to be absolutely true and when I focus on being content with my situation…no matter what it is…the Lord brings joy and I am much less likely to fall into coveting.
By His grace, I have seen some progress in my life in this area and now when I hear that niggling, comparing voice, I am more able to resist it with thankfulness. The Lord is so good, so faithful, so provident of all of our needs, and so pleased when we receive all things from Him in gratitude.
Rachel, thank you for that great quote…it’s a keeper.
Of course I covet! I don’t intend to boast about it, but just about what everybody else has, I want. It always seems better, what other people have. It always seems that they have “it all together.”
What they have is what they “need.” What I have is what I “need” and I must live as if I believe that and that I am okay with that. I must live in appreciation for what God has given me. This is what it comes down to, appreciate what God gives me because by my coveting, I am telling Him that I do not appreciate His gifts!
smooches,
Larie
It’s a struggle. I have to constantly remind myself to be content in my own body, situation, etc. God has this for me now and I am to be happy in it. When I acknowledge that fact the joy starts creeping back into my being. It’s all about keeping my focus on Him.
Covet, boy do I! I don’t think it hit me until I read your post just now.
A great reminder to be thankful for what God HAS given me and not focus on what he HAS NOT given me. He has given me so much more than I deserve and so much more than I need.
Thank You!
I guess we all covet sometimes, but I try really hard to concentrate on being thankful. God has done too much for me for me to be sitting somewhere complaining and wanting what someone else has!
A-MEN!! When I start to fall into that trap, I try to repeat over and over–Fix your eyes on Jesus, fix your eyes on Jesus!
And if it helps anything, the first time I came to your blog a couple weeks ago, I was all, “Oh my word. Love her header. Love the way she writes. She’s gorgeous! Boo hoo. Not fair!”
Thanks for the insight…I never thought that what I struggle with on a daily basis as coveting!! But that’s exactly what it is…I covet what others have…the little things. And when I do that…I become discontent with my own life. And…I have a GREAT life!! I am blessed!! Why is this such a struggle for me? Thanks for shining a bright life on my sin of coveting. I will seek out forgiveness and ask the Holy Spirit to change me from the inside out. God is using you to refine me…thank you!!
I covet the little things…a great pair of shoes worn by my friend….hair that can be pulled into a ponytail knowing that mine will never do that….
but what you said was perfect….coveting only happens when you take your eyes off what’s in front of you….what you have, what you already love…
maybe some blinders are in order !
What you had to say is so true. We start coveting when we take our eyes off of what God is doing in our own lives, and focus on other people’s lives. I’m starting to find, more and more, how fearfully and wonderfully made I am. It doesn’t matter how other people look or what they have, because I was created this way for a reason. And if God created me this way, why would I want anything else? This is what I remind myself of, when I start to covet.
Yes, I covet. Things mostly. Stuff that will all burn up one day anyway. BUT, my husband and I agreed to begin, quite some years ago now, to be consciously and specifically thankful to the LORD for every!! good thing that came into our lives. As we have worked at developing that into a habit, I’m coveting less and less. And I’m happier and happier, deliriously so, with my life. Just like it is today. Looking forward to how the LORD will bless me. I don’t think I’ve arrived. But I’ve travelled a long way down the road from where I was. And that feels really good. It just means that the LORD is still working on us.
And that is sweeeeeeet!!!
Great post. Thanks for the mind-stirring things you lay out there for me to “chew” on.
Gwyn Rosser @ The Pink Tractor
http://www.gwynrosser.blogspot.com
Thanks Sarah! I needed to read your post today.
I don’t actively covet most things, but I do sometimes feel powerless to change my own circumstances. I guess maybe I covet my own true self?
Yes…coveting is a big and difficult issue. But, can I just say that I subscribe to several blogs, and this one – by far – is my favorite. Your transparency and ability to communicate in a “real”, meaningful, understandable, applicable, and God-inspired manner is a true gift. Don’t let the evil one tell you otherwise. I know that’s not answering your question or what you are looking for…but I truly think you have a gift!
Gratitude helps. It changes your focus and puts it back where it belongs. Reaching out and helping people helps, too.
This is such good advice! I often covet what other people have – great job, their own house, wonderful blogs. But you’re right – when I think about how much God has already blessed me I don’t feel like I want/need that other stuff so much.
Absolutely! Great parallel, Sarah.
I need to keep me eyes focused on what’s in front of me.
PS Now I want oatmeal!
Yes, Unfortunately I tend to covet too
I have to be reminded of what I DO have and what I DO have to be grateful for in my life. Great reminder!
Great posts! I know I covet too. And need to keep my focus on God. And be thankful for all the things (big and small) that I do have. Thanks for the reminder! I love reading your blog!
I covet the ability you have to be a stay at home mom. I covet the time you get with your girls in the morning to sit and watch them eat cereal. I covet the time at the parks, the play groups and time you spend at home. I covet the most recent lottery winner their winning numbers!
so true and so timely. something i am struggling with and learning to remind myself every.single.day of the beauty and gifts god has given to me.
how is it you always manage to speak my heart?
Very good point Sarah. It’s really all in the perspective- you may covet the fact that i have a ton of free time, but I in turn covet the fact that you have a full schedule! It’s ironic, really. It really comes down to seeing that God has us where we are for a purpose and his good can be done no matter the circumstances. We really are a greedy and covetous people in nature, and only with our eyes and our hearts fixed on him can we begin to be grateful for the blessing in our life, whether they are free time or lack thereof.
love you!
Great reminder Sarah! Sometimes we forget our prizes because we are too busy staring around us instead of in front of us! Beautiful!
This post reminds me of my favorite Veggie Tales dvd, the one called Madame Blueberry. In it Madame Blueberry sings a song which includes the line, “A happy heart is a thankful heart.” I love that song! And I believe it is true. I really believe that the only real way to happiness is through gratefulness. Thanks for this post, Sarah. It’s a GREAT
The way you wrote this completely put it into perspective for me! I can become so dissatisfied with certain areas of my life…but if I stop and think about how much more time I spend focusing on their lives rather than what God has blessed me with I would probably be shocked. Thank you! I needed that perspective shift.
Heck yes I covet. I don’t know why cuz it isn’t near as fun as other sins.
Seriously though, this summer I almost quit taking my kids to other people’s houses to swim because I was so bitter about our blow-up baby pool. It would always get so dang grassy.
Love ya. Thanks again for the wordpress help. What a big fat mess of technojargon WP is. Hopefully I figure it all out soon or I may lose the desire to actually WRITE!
Love the way you write. I just wrote about insecurity and how it is really prideful to this so little of yourself – it’s pride when we are dwelling on SELF. Coveting comes from the same source. SELF is magnified. right? ” We are no good to anyone or anything when we just think about SELF and pity what we DON’T have.
awesome post!
Yes, when we covet we believe that God shortchanged us for some reason. And that is just not true because that is our pride talking. God did not shortchange us. He gave us all, even His Son to die for us.
Great post, as usual, Sarah.
This is a battle that I too have been fighting, poorly.
Studying for a test last night, I was literally brought to tears by this statement… about electrical polarity, of all things… explaining that positive and negative are relative, “An electrical potential by itself cannot be negative until it is compared to another potential that is greater”.
Sounds a little silly now, but it was as if it was spoken to me by God himself… Quit comparing.
Sarah, your blog is one of my favorites, by the way. Always real, and always inspiring. Thank you.
Nicki
I would have to say God is really freeing me up in this area. There are times when I catch myself, but I would say that graditude is a huge weapon to use against “I wish I had…..”.
Like I said you always touch on something I am or have dealt with recently. I love the Lord and how He just brings everything together.
I have found that gratitude is my antidote to coveting and lack of contentment.