Comments on: The Fear of Mending http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/ The Best Days of My Life Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:41:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Inna http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-18488 Inna Sat, 10 Jul 2010 19:36:28 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-18488 Beautifully written and very thought provoking. Beautifully written and very thought provoking.

]]> By: Royce http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9200 Royce Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:41:46 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9200 Thomas Merton said the love we cherish most will of necessity cause us pain, because it is the mending of a body with broken bones. Thomas Merton said the love we cherish most will of necessity cause us pain, because it is the mending of a body with broken bones.

]]> By: Robin http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9185 Robin Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:02:02 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9185 Tryig to do the healing thing now....keeping a wall up, because I have been hurt by this person too many times in the past. In order for there to be complete healing of the relationship, I need to take the wall down. The ball is in my court, and for now I am leaving it there. sigh... Tryig to do the healing thing now….keeping a wall up, because I have been hurt by this person too many times in the past. In order for there to be complete healing of the relationship, I need to take the wall down. The ball is in my court, and for now I am leaving it there. sigh…

]]> By: Rainer http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9169 Rainer Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:19:16 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9169 One final thought - you should feel that this is too much for you. The wonderful news is that it is not too much for God. He wants you to be in that place where you believe that you could not handle the situation on your own. That you could never recover and get past the hurt on your own. That you could never forgive on your own. You can't, on your own. But you can, with Him. Many of the people who have responded to this blog (Sarah included) have amazing testimonies that demonstrate God's ability to do what seems impossible for man to do. Keep your eyes on Him and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). One final thought – you should feel that this is too much for you. The wonderful news is that it is not too much for God. He wants you to be in that place where you believe that you could not handle the situation on your own. That you could never recover and get past the hurt on your own. That you could never forgive on your own. You can’t, on your own. But you can, with Him. Many of the people who have responded to this blog (Sarah included) have amazing testimonies that demonstrate God’s ability to do what seems impossible for man to do. Keep your eyes on Him and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).

]]> By: Rainer http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9168 Rainer Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:13:01 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9168 Andy - I think you have to get to the point of believing that your healing can ONLY come from God, which means letting go of believing that your wife must help you heal. You have to heal independent of her. To believe that she must help you heal is making her a god. I am in the same situation as you, only a bit further along. The divorce was final in mid-August. Now having to let go does not mean having to give up on your wife. It just means recognizing that the most important relationship in your life has to be with your Creator. He is a god of healing and restoration, and nothing is impossible for Him. Seek His will for your relationship and don't let the circumstances dictate your actions. Peace. Andy – I think you have to get to the point of believing that your healing can ONLY come from God, which means letting go of believing that your wife must help you heal. You have to heal independent of her. To believe that she must help you heal is making her a god. I am in the same situation as you, only a bit further along. The divorce was final in mid-August. Now having to let go does not mean having to give up on your wife. It just means recognizing that the most important relationship in your life has to be with your Creator. He is a god of healing and restoration, and nothing is impossible for Him. Seek His will for your relationship and don’t let the circumstances dictate your actions. Peace.

]]> By: Cindy Beall http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9150 Cindy Beall Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:35:10 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9150 Because healing hurts. But, the way I see it you can either hurt while you're healing or you can hurt for the rest of your life. I'll take the first. Because healing hurts.

But, the way I see it you can either hurt while you’re healing or you can hurt for the rest of your life. I’ll take the first.

]]> By: Jessica http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9141 Jessica Fri, 23 Oct 2009 04:53:40 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9141 Wow. You are listening in on my life now! This is where we are, only I'm not the one afraid anymore...he is. I keep begging and begging and showing repentence and showing trustworthiness and yet here we still are. My heart is broken. My family is in danger of falling apart. I stand to lose my lover of 24 years and my best friend. I pray God is louder in his head than the lies of the enemy. If He could do it for King David I am certain He will do it for me. Thanks for you words and your encouragement. Wow. You are listening in on my life now! This is where we are, only I’m not the one afraid anymore…he is. I keep begging and begging and showing repentence and showing trustworthiness and yet here we still are. My heart is broken. My family is in danger of falling apart. I stand to lose my lover of 24 years and my best friend. I pray God is louder in his head than the lies of the enemy. If He could do it for King David I am certain He will do it for me.

Thanks for you words and your encouragement.

]]> By: andy http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9139 andy Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:35:37 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9139 "What if opening up to healing means opening up to more hurt?" At least, that's always my question to myself. My wife has had an affair, and has told me she's leaving me for a man she's known for 6 weeks. I want to allow things to heal, but I'm terrified that if I try to stay open to healing, she'll just continue to hurt me. I've been a long way from perfect in our marriage, but I've always tried to make things right. But I fear that this is too much for me. My prayer is that God can heal me independently from her if need be...but that prospect terrifies me too. “What if opening up to healing means opening up to more hurt?”

At least, that’s always my question to myself. My wife has had an affair, and has told me she’s leaving me for a man she’s known for 6 weeks.

I want to allow things to heal, but I’m terrified that if I try to stay open to healing, she’ll just continue to hurt me. I’ve been a long way from perfect in our marriage, but I’ve always tried to make things right. But I fear that this is too much for me.

My prayer is that God can heal me independently from her if need be…but that prospect terrifies me too.

]]> By: Rachel http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9138 Rachel Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:15:15 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9138 I commented earlier, but I want to again. I've been thinking about this post all evening and I realize it's the kick in the rear I need to go through that process. I mean, if God wants me to change, who am I to say that He isn't big enough to take care of me after the change? I think I'm just scared of having a new identity - but that's what the healing is about. No longer being defined by (X) but being defined as redeemed by God. Thank you, Sarah, for these words today. I commented earlier, but I want to again. I’ve been thinking about this post all evening and I realize it’s the kick in the rear I need to go through that process. I mean, if God wants me to change, who am I to say that He isn’t big enough to take care of me after the change?

I think I’m just scared of having a new identity – but that’s what the healing is about. No longer being defined by (X) but being defined as redeemed by God. Thank you, Sarah, for these words today.

]]> By: Wilma http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2009/10/the-fear-of-mending/comment-page-1/#comment-9137 Wilma Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:58:55 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=1282#comment-9137 I think that I am holding back on healing because that will mean I have to forgive. And if I truly forgive, which is what I believe I'm called to do although most days I don't want to, then that means I have to get along with the one who hurt me. It seems like too much effort and he is so undeserving! Although I think at some point, like you, even though it's different, it becomes more painful not to heal. This may seem like a bunch of figurative mumbo jumbo but I've been asked if I want to heal and although my heart says yes my head says, 'don't bother!' But how long can I live this way? Aggghh! Suck it up princess, I say to me :) I think that I am holding back on healing because that will mean I have to forgive. And if I truly forgive, which is what I believe I’m called to do although most days I don’t want to, then that means I have to get along with the one who hurt me. It seems like too much effort and he is so undeserving! Although I think at some point, like you, even though it’s different, it becomes more painful not to heal. This may seem like a bunch of figurative mumbo jumbo but I’ve been asked if I want to heal and although my heart says yes my head says, ‘don’t bother!’ But how long can I live this way? Aggghh! Suck it up princess, I say to me :)

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