I met a 60 year old GREAT grandmother in the park yesterday.
I don’t know if that is common elsewhere, but I’ve never met someone so young with 3 generations beneath her. Great-Grandmother conjures up the image in my mind of 33 year old faded photograph of my mother, my grandmother and my great-grandmother all standing next to a one-year-old me next to a tree in Philadelphia. Or an image of my 92 year old grandmother who goes by “Grammie-Great” to my own daughters.
Not a 60 year old blonde woman wearing purple cowboy boots chasing after a 3 year old little girl.
“I’m exhausted” she confessed as she plopped down beside me on a park bench. We watched my daughter and her great-granddaughter play on the slides, the only two children at the park.
“I can only imagine,” I offered. “Do you watch her during the day?”
She began to tell me about her 21 year old grandson who’d gotten his girlfriend pregnant at 17 and the custody battle that ensued a couple years later. She told me about the courts and the nightmares and the young woman who was now forever connected to their family as the mother of the little girl. She told me that because her grandson is finishing school the 50% custody falls on her and her husband.
“I never thought I’d be raising a 3 year old at my age,” she finished.
Never thought.
Because I’m sure she had her life planned out a little.
I know I do:
When my girls are in school full time I will be able to devote my free time to writing. My kids will grow up, go to college and marry nice, Christian men when they are 25. They’ll each have 2 or 3 kids of their own and everyone will live nearby. My husband will sell his company someday, we’ll retire and have time with each other and our family.
That’s the plan.
But my goodness, there are so many variables. What if it doesn’t work out that way? One tiny tangent of the timeline will take everything off in a different direction.
A daughter could get pregnant at 16.
My husband could get sick.
My parents could need full time care from us when they age.
One of my girls might decide to move to Russia or Australia.
Things might turn out differently than I’ve planned. Not that I want any of those things to happen, but I think the key is this: stay flexible and keep my eyes on what is important.
Following Christ is important. Relationships are important. Maintaining my integrity is important. And then whatever else happens, whatever unplanned, unforeseen, tangential event occurs, it will be okay. Maybe not the best plan, or what I’VE planned, but it will be alright.
Maybe someday I’ll be the grandmother in purple boots running around the playground chasing a little girl who needs my love and stability like she needs the air. And if so, that’s okay.
Has your life turned out like you planned? Do you have a plan?
Oh, yes do I have a plan!!
1.Graduate from college. Check.
2.Get married to a Chrisitan man. Check.
3.Buy a house. Check.
4.Enjoy our time together, take vacations. Check.
*Then have 2 children, a girl then boy.
*Enjoy working and being a mother.
*They grow up and get married after graduating college.
*Doug and I grow old together taking many trips with our grandkids.
So far my plan is going according to plan.
My fear…..that it changes or goes in another direction.
Thank you for addressing one of my big fears….I will always remember this post.
Merry Christmas!!
Your words have me in tears.
Our wordly plans almost never go as planned. God is in control. Sometimes, it is so, so hard to remember and to have faith in that.
Sending you an email, too…
I got the email Sidnie. Thank you for sharing your heart. I’ll be responding soon…
I am like you … in fact, I have almost identical plans for my daughter’s life … and yet, there is this part of me that hopes she doesn’t follow “my” plan. My plan seems so safe … and small. Of course, spiritually, I want her to always follow God’s plan for her life … but even in a less spiritual way … I want her life to be big and full and amazing … and there is this little part of me that really does hope she takes big chances and goes far away to try things I never had the courage to attempt.
oh my goodness, terilynne. you just put into words what i was thinking but didn’t write about in this post. i don’t want my daughters to move away or live “hard” lives, but if the difficulty or the distance means great and amazing things, then i pray that god shows me that. and i pray that i can be a part.
yes, my “plans” would be small for the amazing women they will someday be.
Better than I had planned! In fact, I had no plans for my life at all.
My life has been surrounded by death. My mother when I was 7, my brother, due to suicide when I was 17, my father when I was 18, my grandmother who raised me when I was 23. Honestly, I thought I would die a very young age. The ‘death’ obsession began when I was probably 12 or so. I couldn’t picture my life past age 17 so I was convince I would die at 17. When I was 17 the age became 19. And so on…
Now, I am 34 (and not expecting death at every corner but know when it is my time, I will be ready). I am married to a wonderful, Godly man. We are very active in prison ministry and our small group. We have a home and a wonderful life together.
I just have to say thank God that my life didn’t go as I had ‘not’ planned.
Thanks Sarah. I learned in the past two years that my plans are just that…My plans. God’s plans were totally different from what I dreamed. But, guess what? His plans are way better. It was a harder path than I would have chosen.
I don’t think anyone with young children realizes that is the easy part. The young formative years are easy. It’s when they leave your nest and begin making their own decisions that it gets hard. At least it was that way for me. I have a controlling spirit. I have to fight it, but it raises its ugly head at times. God puts me in my place. And I can only look to Him and say, “What do you want me to do (or not do), Lord?” That’s what He wants all along. For me to let Him handle it. At times I felt I couldn’t give it all to Him. When I finally did I felt such peace.
My daughter was married in May. I will be a grandmama in June! I tell everyone being a grandmother at 46 seems right. It’s the fact that my mother will be a great-grandmother at 63 that has me shaking my head. She’s not old enough to be a GREAT-grandmother in my eyes. Reminds me of the great-grandmother in your story. My mom still rides bikes and does the zip line in my backyard with my 7yo. (Although the trampoline is my job.
Great post.
Yes…I have plans…but everyday I strive to hand those plans to God and let Him take over! But that is so, so hard for me!!
I remember Proverbs 16:9: In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Having a 27 yr old son and a 24 yr old daughter makes this much harder!! Releasing control to God for all of life is the best plan…but for me it’s so hard!!
i had to stop trying to force my life into the neat little “cookie-cutter life” I had planned. since then i’ve been much happier but it’s still hard at times…I mean, i just turned 29 and doesn’t God know that I wanted to be married with 4 kids by the time I turn 30? Turns out God’s plan for my life has been an amazing adventure and once I stopped fighting it I’ve enjoyed it more than I ever thought possible!
Sarah, great thoughts. Thanks for sharing this.
My life certainly has not gone according to my initial plans! I grew up dreaming of being a professional musician, and at first did just that, singing classical music professionally and teaching for several years until, during my graduate studies, the Lord called my husband and me into overseas work. Now we live in Asia, thousands of miles from “home” and in a completely foreign and security conscious context. I then became a mother, three times in four years, and suddenly even the “work” we were called to do wasn’t mine: I was at home, nursing and changing diapers! All of my children have been born over here, far from Grandpa and Grandma and learning how to speak in two languages. I did not “plan” this for my life!
So, my singing in operas has given way to sounding like a four year old in trying to communicate the most basic ideas to new friends in this country. (It has gotten much better, but I still read and write very little so I will always be less skilled than a six year old local!) But, God’s plans are always the best ones. I would never have dreamed this for my life, and who knows, we could get removed tomorrow, but following Him gives such JOY and Peace, with a healthy amount of Adventure thrown in too! So don’t set your sights too low! He may throw all your plans out the window and show you His greater, more creative, more growth-inducing, sanctifying plans!
I recently gave up the last few strands of my plan. Being a divorced single mom who never finished college just struggling to keep a roof over their heads will do that to a person. So will standing beside a child fighting a life threatening illness for five years, and all of the hopes and dreams for the other child crashing to bits when she suffers a TBI. So… Plan? What plan? All I know is that God knows the plans he has for me and although they are nothing like mine, they are best.
so true, Tricia.
what a wonderful post- thanks sarah!
my plan was certainly torn to pieces, but i’m grateful for it! i wouldn’t change a thing because if i did, i would be who i am today or where i am today. the biggest lesson i’ve learned in the last 5 years is that plans are just ideas… thoughts… dreams… attempes to take control of our own lives. things go must better when we surrender all of these things to the lord!
love you!
I’m a big planner. However, God usually has other ideas.
By this point in my life, I’d planned to be very successful in my career. I certainly did NOT plan to be in debt that is at times overwhelming, to be stuck in a tiny house, to long to stay home with my daughter instead of sit at my desk in a dead-end job every day. And now I plan to get out of debt, sell our house, move to another state, begin a new career, have another baby, serve in ministry, buy a new house. And the list goes on! I have a lot of plans. But only God knows what will really happen. And most days I’m okay with that.
Thanks for your beautiful post Sarah, it really got me thinking about my journey on this earthly world…. I always dreamed of the wonderful husband, the white picket fence, 2 children, and a dog and some cats, and being a “Stay at HOME MOM”…. Wow was I wrong! God had bigger and better plans for ME.
I did start out with a wonderful husband and 3 children, two boys and than a beautiful bundle of pink joy. Oh yes, we had the dog and a few kittens too. But then everything changed. My wonderful husband hurt his back…he turned to drinking…which tore our marriage and happy home apart. I was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy. I had to have my husband removed from our home and was left to raise 3 children on my own and also from a wheel chair full time. I still worked 40+ hours and got them all to football and baseball and dance class and even got one through college so far! God is still working in my life and through my beautiful children also.
My 2nd son is now working through drug issues also and I pray God will always walk by his side. My Daughter Katie is now a JR in High School and the best thing that ever happened in my life. God may bring storms into your life, but he is also by your side to walk through those storms with you if you just let Him. I never did get my college teaching degree but I have taught Sunday School at Church and I got so much more out of that then I ever thought possible. It was the little smiles and hugs from the little children that brought so much sunshine into my daily life when it was pouring rain on my marriage and family life.
Sometimes that bend in the road ahead is there because we must realize that it’s not always possible to just have a Plan A…sometimes we must switch to Plan B..C..and maybe even Plan D…just know that God will never give up on you and you must keep putting one foot in front of the other and in the final end… God will be there with open arms and His loving heart..
even when you think you can’t take another footstep. My main Goal has always been Heaven and I just have to keep on going till I get to that Final Finish Line…Heaven is getting a little bit closer each and every day =)
Rocking and Rolling from my wheel chair in Minnesota =)
Hope you have a wonderful holiday season =)
I’m totally picturing you in your wheelchair! =)
I like your “goal”: heaven. What a perfect thing to focus on. Thank you so much for sharing your story here, Janice.
Incredible post, Sarah! The past two and half years have been teaching me these lessons….and yet I still try to fight against them! I want SO much for my plans to always work and they almost never do! His ways are not our ways…but His ways are definitely higher.
I have created many plans for my life but I am currently plan-less at the moment…just full of dreams and desires. I am trying hard NOT to create too much of a hard set plan because I get disappointed when it doesn’t go my way. I am trying to learn to seek God’s heart and go where He is leading. God has my husband and I in a place where He has stripped away almost all that we thought was the original plan so we are in the stages of waiting and dreaming about where we will go in the next seasons of our life.
Thank you for such a poignant post! It is wonderful to read everybody’s stories in the comments – God weaves such unqiue and individual stories for all His children.
i agree. i love reading all the stories. i love this community.
my great grandmother was 36 when my mother was born. my grandmother was 33 when i was born (i have a cousin who just became a g-ma, she is 33. her daughter just turned 15).
i would want to tell that great-g-ma it will be okay. that little girl is going to grow up and adore you. she may be your greatest blessing. may even name her own little girl after you (this is the relationship i have with my g-ma that had custody of me). her life was an unexpected surprise, BUT wait and see what a gift it will be to yours. she will rise and call you blessed for the sacrifices of provision, consistency, and unconditional love you are giving her now.
i’m proof that happens.and i would tell her that.
and yes i have a plan for my life. and i’m going to keep having a plan and hope for our future, because God promised me there would be one. i’m living in mine now (oh my life is so different from the tragedy i grew up in). and if i can live in it, then my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren… will live in His plan and hope too. that is the plan!
denise – you are living proof of grace and favor. your children are living proof of that same grace.
i love you and miss you.
Hi Sarah – I use to plan out everything. There wasn’t a minute gone by that I did not plan. Oh man was I stressed due to this planning. I was worried all the time. Full of wonder and hope that everything would go according to MY plan.
Well…………….I gave all that up. Why fight life I thought? Just go with it.
So I approach my life by living each moment one at a time. I don’t fret about much. I take things, people, events as they come – one at a time. I am no longer stressed or worried or disappointed. Now I am full of peace and amazement at all I see each day that would have gone unnoticed if I followed my plan.
I used to have plans. Now I don’t. I thought I would meet a great guy in college, a Christian who loved to talk about feelings and faith, who loved to take walks and hold my hand, who spoke Spanish and wanted to raise our children to be bilingual. I thought I would marry by 22 at the latest.
I quit school, had a bad habit of dating Muslims (not that Muslims are bad, they’re just not Christian, which is what I wanted), and didn’t meet anyone. Not even females. I was so alone. And then, I watched everyone else, all these younger, way too young and inexperienced, kids get married. One by one. And I was there. Helping. Alone.
I was 27 by the time I finally found someone. ANd lets just say that he was NOT the image I had in my head. Nor in my parents’ heads.
Now I take things day by day. Today, I am a mother of 4 beautiful children. We live in a house, in a nice quiet small town. Our families are nearby. Tomorrow? Tomorrow has enough worries of it’s own.
I have no plan because I have no idea what I want from life or what the future might hold.
…. but then, secretly, deep down, I’m thinking the same as you – kids marry well and I settle down to a life of ministry and peace.
Realistically though I know that’s NEVER going to happen!
oh, i think it could happen. i know, though, when you think about everything ending up how we want it just seems like there are billions of variables that have to go our way for it to work out.
good thing that God has those variables in control. =)
Our life right now is nothing like we planned and that has brought to light a sin that ruled my life, PRIDE. I am still working on it, but I think if our plans had stayed on (our)track, pride would have continued ruled my life (it a very sneaky sin). My hope is that Christ would rule my life, I want to live for Christ not myself. Anyway, I think I am wandering off topic…thank you for your daily insight.
Love-Oly
That’s my hope too.
i agree, if my life would have continued down the road it was headed, then i wouldn’t be here. so glad that God had a different plan for me.
i dont plan. actually i was just telling someone that the other day.
i dont plan.
or at least not very far in advance.
why? not sure of just one reason really. i think there are several.
i know i need to be flexible. when the time comes i can plan and dream and such, but unless i need, to i dont plan.
for me, its very practical, totally frustrating, small minded and helpful to my mental state!
if i think too far in advance, i can let my mind wander to places it shouldn’t only to worry about the future.
taking one day at a time, writing lots of things on my calendar but, only looking at the week or few weeks ahead is what i usually do.
i am open to change in this area. im not saying its the way i should be but so, far that is how it is.
I don’t have a plan. I have some hopes, and I work toward those, but I’ve always felt that some of the best things in my life have come as a result of things I never would have expected, or things I never would have wanted. All of the dumb things I’ve done, all of the huge mistakes I’ve made, have somehow led me to my husband and my wonderful, silly boys. I am working very hard to make sure that I am not making plans for my boys once they’re grown-up. I want them to follow their own paths, and make their own discoveries, and to make their own mistakes. I hope they make fewer mistakes than I did, but I also hope that they learn and grow from them.
oh, yes. I hope that my girls make less mistakes than me. ahh… i pray it every day.
Hi Sarah,
This was so great today!
When I was younger I always had a plan…plan for school, plan for work, plan for family, plan for everything! Well, then my plan quickly changed when I became pregnant with my first daughter…THAT WAS NOT MY PLAN, or so I thought!!! I wasn’t married, though engaged, but was already having major doubts about that one, I could not stay in school, or so I assumed, my whole world quickly changed plans.
But all the while, I had this beautiful little girl I had to provide for, her father and I ended up marrying but then turned around a year later and divorced. Was definitely NOT in the plan either!!
I do know now, God had His hand in this the entire time!!! He never let me down! I had so much to be thankful for! I now had a new plan…be a good mother, be a good employee, be a responsible person…for the first time in my life.
My life is so great now! I have a wonderful husband, three amazing children, a fantastic job, a home, a wonderful church, and such a blessed family! I could not have thought up a better plan!
Thanks again, Sarah and have a wonderful day!!!
My life is definitely not as I imagined it would have turned out. And God continues to amaze me in how much MY plan is so different from HIS plan.
If you had asked me 6 (!) years ago what my plan was it would go something like this (and it all stemmed on a marriage proposal I was expecting but never received):
Get married by 23
House by 24
First child by 26
Second child by 28-29
and maybe child #3 by 32.
After that, I really didn’t have much else for a plan… I was only out to plan my family.
Now, I don’t really have a plan. I try to plan some things but then I think about Proverbs 16:9 –
A man’s heart plans his way
But the Lord directs his steps.
So, I try to keep my plans fluid for all the things that God has planned for my life and trust that He will let me know when and if I am to fulfill any of the plans I have made for myself.
The only things in my life that turned out as “planned” is that I have great friends and I love God. I also planned to be happy… and I learned that is an option even when all your other plans go South.
My parents are 65, they led happy, successful lives and did everything right. The economy tanked right at the time my dad needed to sell our farm, and they lost all their retirement. They raised 6 children in the right way, and I have siblings who are so self-focused I watch them hurt my parents’ hearts. But I talk to my mom all the time about not asking God to change our circumstances for what we want, but to ask Him to change our hearts for what He wants. It’s amazing how that can bring happiness regardless of circumstance.
gitz: YOUR attitude is amazing. an example to us all. i’m so fortunate to call you friend. thank you.
Our adopted daughter was just asked to apply for the medical program at her university. In her sophomore year! To be taken simultaneously with her bachelor degree, rather than the master’s program that she was accepted into to be completed alongside her undergrad in neuroscience research. I’m really, really proud of her. I’m really, really worried that she’s taking on too much, working too hard, moving too fast and her life is out of balance.
But then I wonder if it’s really her that I’m worried about, with the added stress of studying for the MCATS for the next 3 months, or if it’s just that I can’t take the idea of her being away from us even more than she already is because of school. Maybe I just can’t handle the idea of her coming home even less because of school. I’m realizing this is just a taste of what it will be like for years as they all grow up.
(I’m starting to understand what it did to my mother when I married, packed up, and moved to another country, and how she feels now that we plan to move even farther away.)
My plan at age 16 was to be a spinster librarian with lots of cats and books. I kid you not. My plan at 22 was to get a Ph.D. and teach film at a university. My plan now? To just be open and able to embrace what God puts in front of me, even if it’s not what I wanted. I’ll end up being what I need.
I had a plan. I was living the plan. I had a life change. That changed my plan. I’m closer to God. Now God has my plan.
One thing I’ve learned is that though we certainly can make our own plans for our lives, God’s plans may supercede ours. I definitely have a vision for what I want my life to look like in the coming years, but I do try to remember that it may not be HIS plan, and it’s not for me to understand if things turn out completely the opposite of what I hope for. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and if my life ends up taking some wild detour, I hope my faith will remain strong and I’ll trust that He is leading me where HE wants me to go.
Sarah, You inspire such deep thoughts. Recently, my prayers have been inspired by you as well. I have been praying for God to change me. I am not trying so hard to change the circumstances of many of my struggles anymore.
I didn’t have a hard fast plan but I hear myself saying, “This isn’t what I had planned,” or “This isn’t where I thought I would be at 42.”
I became a mom at 18. I have been married to a man who I love, but struggles with alcoholism for 23 1/2yrs. Two years ago my best friend committed suicide. That has been harder to deal with than my own daughter dying at 5 months, or my dad, who I was VERY close to when I was 20.
I became a mother-in-law to 2 amazing men at 41 and then a grandma to the little girl who has stolen my heart. And 9 months ago we moved out of our home to live with my mom who has been diagnosed with alzhiemer’s.
None of this would have been my plan, but I am so so very grateful for God’s grace and mercy. He has allowed me to find my joy in His salvation again. And now, like the very nature God gave me, I just learn to go with the flow.
The only plan I have is to go to school in the spring. Something I always wished I had done. With Gods grace and blessings it’ll happen.
My life has turned out like I had hoped it would, mostly! There are things that I wish were different, like that family lived closer, but all in all, it’s pretty good.
So the fewer expectations on my part, the better!
And I’m trying to to have a plan, because I have a hard time when my plans don’t turn out the way I want them to
I love that Great Grandmother you met @ the park. I pray for all great grandmother’s and (grand)mother’s who are living their “never planned” lives. And, you know what else, Sarah? I love that you listened to that great grandmother…. she needed you as much as her message empowered you.
If you would have asked me last year-I would have said an adamant “NO, my plan is not lining up with HIS.” Now.. Absolutely in-line. I surrender.
My plans fell apart about 6-7 months ago. It’s complicated and long. Perhaps I’ll email you, if you don’t mind. I know that you already have a lot on your plate, though.
I will say that I’ve learned to surrender my plans and just let Him lead. It’s been a rough journey, though. One I wish I hadn’t had to make and one I sometimes wish I wasn’t still on. It’ll be worth it though. I have to keep believing that and wait for the new plans to come. This song (by Steven Curtis Chapman) has really touched me. It’s a lot of my heart in song lyrics. I thought I’d put it on here and maybe it will encourage your readers. I’m actually planning to write a post on it soon. 
LYRICS:
This is not how it should be/This is not how it could be/This is how it is/Our God is in control
This is not how it will be/When we finally will see/We’ll see with our own eyes/He was always in control
And we’ll sing/Holy Holy Holy is in our God/And we will finally really understand what it means/So we’ll sing/Holy Holy Holy is in our God/While we’re waiting for that day
This is not where we planned to be/When we started this journey
This is where we are/And Our God is in control
Though this first taste is bitter/There will be sweetness forever/When we finally taste and see/That Our God is in control
And we’ll sing/Holy Holy Holy is in our God/And we will finally really understand what it means/So we’ll sing/Holy Holy Holy is in our God/While we’re waiting for that day/We’re waiting for that day/We’ll keep on waiting for that day
And we will know/Our God is in control/Holy Holy Holy/Holy Holy Holy/Our God is in control/Holy Holy Holy/Our God is in control/Holy Holy Holy
onegirl – please email me. i’d love to hear your story.
thank you, sarah. I’ll try to email you tomorrow once i finish a 2,000 word essay I have due
what’s the best to email you at?
I will be a 41 year old grandmother and my mom will be a 61 year old great grandmother…..My oldest daughter is currently 18 and pregnant. Not what I had planned……..
Hi Deanna.. Praying for you, your daughter, and your grandchild..Right now.
Plans … yes, I had them. They didn’t all work out. Scared me to the point that I didn’t want to do life anymore. Now slowly, but surely I’m having hope again and celebrating life while being flexible with my plans.
whoa….plans. just when i thought i had a plan! not so much. aren’t you glad His plans are perfect? today, i’m grateful that part of His plan is saving me from myself and my plans…each of us from ourselves, really. thank God he knows the end of the story. great post, sarah. you always make me think
This reminds me of a family at our church. Mom and Dad raise 9 out of 10 kids. Mom looking forward to her 18 year old daughter graduating. Tired and exhausted after raising 10 children, she is looking forward to time to herself. 18 year old daughter gets into a horrible car accident. She almost died. Instead, God chose to have her live. She was pretty much brain dead, but now is slowly “coming back” but only in very very small baby steps. She is raising a baby at home “all over again”. For who knows how long.
Great post! Sometimes, I do the same thing. I wish my life away before it is over. I make my own plans. I make my own wishes in my head. God is Sovereign. Oh yes He is. He sees the big picture. Oh what a wise, perfect God He is.
I think I will let Him write my story. Even if I have to fight against my own will, each day.
Love,
Traci
No, my life hasn’t turned out as I planned even though I never had any real plans.
What I did plan was not to have any kids after the age of 30 and I had one at 31. Not a big deal.
However, I never thought I’d adopt my husband’s niece, nephew & their half-sister and be raising them! So the youngest kid was 4 when she came & I was 39. Now, I’m gonna be in my 50’s when I’m done raising kids.
My plan now is NOT to be raising the grandkids!
Sarah, thank you so much for today’s post. For the past few months that has been my mantra “this is not how I planned out my life, I’m too old for all of this” But, God in His mercy reminds me that He is the One who has called me to follow where He leads. Wherever that might be, whatever that entails. I am raising my grandkids and yes some days seem over whelming. But God has called me to stand in the gap. And while I’m there I will take every opportunity to love them and teach them that Jesus loves them and thank Him for allowing me to be the one with them during these young days of their lives. Thank you again for your tender heart that helps me see new things all the time.
Sarah, beautiful post. I am much like you. My plan is very similar. And honestly, my life went quite as planned for the most part. Except for one glitch…When we were pregnant with our second child, my husband was diagnosed with a serious kidney disease. I remember sitting in the doctor’s office, looking at my 5 month pregnant belly, while the doctor spoke of future kideny transplants. I remember thinking…”What? This isn’t part of the PLAN.” That was hard. Very hard. And every 6 months when we go for Jason’s kidney check-up, it’s hard again. So our plan now is just to live everyday to the fullest. We have no idea what the future holds, we only have now. And we have God, and His peace, and His plans. And that is enough.
yes, i do have a life plan.
and i also have a plan that is hidden, it’s just in my head.
the ‘rocks’ of the plan are to follow Jesus all my life and do his will in me.
but there is so much more, and sometimes i am afraid that i won’t be able to do then. like, there are too many rules i must follow and i miss on the good things. crazy&wonderful&amazing ones.
i really, really hope that won’t happen.
I’ve always had a plan. . .always. This is the first time in my life that I’m surrendering to see what God’s plan is for me and my family. I gave birth almost a month early to a beautiful baby Girl on Friday (she joins a 6 year old sister and 4 year old brother), after a 4 day hospital stay to try to give her some more time–not part of my plan. . .but with her birth has also come an awakening in me to sit back and see what God’s plan for me is–to be open to it. Will I return to my part time teaching job? Will I take a leave of absence? Will I. . .? Will I. . .? Will I…? Unknown, and for the first time–I’m okay with that!!
Heavens no, I didn’t plan on going through what I went through. Not in a million years.
Glad I’m here, though.