Its been raining all day and the tap tap tap of the drips from the sky on some unknown corner of the roof is all I can hear in my bedroom. When rain comes to us here its like the whole world turns black (we’re so used to the almost-desert sun) and all the people hide inside their houses.
Rain might melt them like the Wicked Witch of the West.
Or melt me.
And even though I love the rain, I’m angry today because it seems to have stolen my energy. All I want to do is eat cookies and wear sweats under the fuzziest blanket ever made.
I look out the window and I can only see the first hill because a heavy wet cloud hides the ones beyond. And then right when the drizzle becomes a torrent and I have to leave to pick up my oldest from school. Dragging to get up from where we’ve curled up on the sofa. Dragging to pull a sweatshirt over pony tails. Struggling to pull on shoes that only want to wear socks and slippers.
And Southern Californians don’t own umbrellas. Not because we brave the elements like Pacific Northwesterners but because it so rarely rains. I shuffle through the downstairs closet and the back of the van. I open the door to the garage, take one look at the mess and then close the door again. Another time.
“We are going to have to make due without an umbrella,” I shout to Naomi over the sound of rain as I buckle her car seat. Both the roads and the drivers are so ill-equipped to deal with precipitation that I can hardly see the car in front of me on the freeway. We flood. We swerve. We grip the steering wheels with strong hands and turn the radio music down. But even the adrenaline does nothing for my motivation. I still want to simply pick up my daughter take her home and fold us all into the family room with happy pants, an ordered pizza and a movie on TV.
I don’t want to work out. Or write. Or do the dishes or fold the laundry.
In the brief time I’ve gone up the stairs to collect her from her rainy day classroom (stuffy and smelling like corn chips), the sun has come out.
And its bright. Like a film crew has set up a light rig at midnight to mimic mid day. Mom’s are fumbling for sunglasses in purses, kids are squinting, and my sweatshirt suddenly feels heavy.
Then we see it. I knew we would. Or maybe I just hoped we would.
“A RAINBOW!! Look girls, a rainbow!” I yell at them from inside the car (no one thinks I’m crazy if they can’t hear me). And I point like a toddler at Disneyland. Huge and complete, like Hawaiian rainbows, this one that stretched over North Orange County was enough to completely change my afternoon.
Like a shot of caffeine (that I should have partook of earlier) seeing something as simply beautiful as that rainbow lets me glimpse perfection and promise against the grey. But it’s gone as quickly as it appeared and I can’t see it anymore as I turn toward my house.
A silent hope. A change in the light. A tiny split in the storm clouds. The rainbow.
Sometimes it’s in the form of a kind email in the middle of a stressful day. A smile from someone you thought didn’t care for you. A request from your oldest daughter to read a book to her when you thought she was past that stage. Stopping to talk to someone you usually walk right past. A small vision of sunshine when there are usually storm clouds.
But I had to look for it. And hope for it a little too.
There is a rainbow today. Are you going to look for it? What will keep you from finding it?
Thank you Sarah. I needed to hear that today:)
Really good entry. I’m “hoping” for a break today. I will be able to receive it if I can finish my 5 page essay. However, with 4 kids in tow…that might be difficult! I can hope though!
It’s raining here today-maybe a rainbow later, we’ll see. They take my breath away everytime. I will be looking……. I LOVE it when our perspective shifts…….
your descriptions in this post are great.
a little hope goes a long way. i love seeing rainbows also. when i can i try to take pics of them.
like you said they offer hope. and hope is such a very very good thing to hold onto.
Morning Sara.
Just before reading your post, I read an email from a friend at church. He was asking for prayer for their unborn baby. The baby has serious complications. He seems to have a severe skeletal disease, and heart problems which at least case he would have physical disabilities and worst case he could be still born.
I am always reminded of ALL God’s promises when I see a rainbow. I didn’t see one yesterday, but reading was like seeing the rainbow for myself. My heaviness is lifted and I am filled with the hope in God’s promises.
I hope you have an amazingly productive day!
Tammie
This was beautiful. I’m going to look for my rainbow today. Thank you.
Sweet post Sarah girl!! … Life is one big choice, really. We, really, only have ourselves to blame if we fail to choose; or, if we make the wrong decision. I am learning that wrong decisions Rock!- because, that is when I learn, that is when I cry out to my Jesus.
I love your faithfulness. Thank you for giving me something to think on.
oh, I needed this today! My day started off not so well… 2 degree weather and an alarm clock that didn’t go off. Not doing so well on the attitude front. Thanks for your openness and honesty!
You know what I needed to read this the most? “YOu have to look for it”. Perfect.
Im new to Socal, and the rain felt quite “homey” to me yesterday. I nestled in my bed all day.
Hope you’re having a great day!
I loved this post! I wanted to enjoy the rain yesterday…but when my husband had to work late and wasn’t home, and my fast-paced weekend caught up with me, I was tired and lonely and the rain seemed to feed my growing poor attitude and I went to sleep holding tight to that attitude.
Trying to shake off the remainders of those feelings and embrace today! The only thing keeping me from seeing my rainbow? My choice to have a pity party and not to open my eyes…
Thank you for your encouragement!
So true! We have to look for the ‘rainbow’ or the ‘silver lining’ in all our circumstances and sometimes that may just be our health, or our home, and sometimes even the rain, etc. God always blesses!
“And hope for it a little too.”
Hope.
There is hope in this world.
And God’s love is amazing!
Beautiful story!
Hey Sarah…so strange! I saw a rainbow on my way home from class today and was going to write about it on my blog. Strange coincidence or just God, I suppose
I get stuck in rainy days too much. Thanks for this!
a few weeks ago i was sitting in my car, attempting to read my Bible and talk with God after a trying couple of months. i had been praying about something during that time and hadn’t felt like i was hearing an answer at all. i didn’t really have a desire to spend any time with Him, but knew as a “Christian” that i should. at best it was a halfhearted attempt. after a little bit more “silence”, i let out a sigh full of frustration. i looked up and, in His beautiful loving grace, i saw a complete rainbow. even with my poor attitude, He still loves me and reminds me of His promises.
Fear is going to try and steal my rainbow today. But It’s going to have to put up a good fight.
those rainbow moments shine…don’t they?
i think something deep inside us remembers God’s rainbow-promise to noah…and rejoices!
love you, rainbow girl
dad
I have to say this made my day. You have a beautiful way of putting feelings into writing & I thoroughly enjoyed your imagery today. Thank you for reminding me that after the storm there is beauty. Sometimes it’s portrayed as a “Rainbow”.
my to do list often keeps me from it but i definitely want to look for it and find it.
Have had so many rainbows recently. Enough that I’ve been tending to forget them soon after they’ve been given.
Great post, and great reminder… to both see the rainbows, and keep them with us.
Be blessed.