Comments on: Temptation is a Friendly Old Lady

By: Big News Here at The Mom Crowd | Parenting by Eliot Rosewater: The Baby Years

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 02:17:04 +0000

[...] posts on Facebook and Twitter. Sarah posts sometimes say what I am thinking. She wrote her post about temptation and marriage around the same time I wrote my post on the same [...]

By: The Mom Crowd » Big News Here at The Mom Crowd

The Mom Crowd » Big News Here at The Mom Crowd — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 06:36:26 +0000

[...] posts on Facebook and Twitter. Sarah posts sometimes say what I am thinking. She wrote her post about temptation and marriage around the same time I wrote my post on the same [...]

By: Cindy Beall

Cindy Beall — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:04:51 +0000

Not a prude. If we all were more intentional and aware that WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF COMMITTING ADULTERY we would do these things. But we don’t all think that. We think, “I’d never do that.”

But we do it.

But for the grace of God go I.

By: Emily

Emily — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:25:36 +0000

This is a beautiful post. I’m a bit younger than you (25) but have been married for four years and have one little baby and another on the way. One of the things I cherish about my marriage and my husband is his wisdom in safeguarding our marriage.

Too many of those we know have relationships that are what we would deem as a little too open in the friends-of-the-opposite-gender category. My hubby makes comments to me from time to time about his friends who he sees having friendships with women and they always include some form of gratitude about the fact that he knows I would never even let him get to that place with another woman.

I cherish your blog posts on this topic as they always match my heart so closely – a match that is often hard to find.

By: alece

alece — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:33:42 +0000

you are wise, my friend, not prude.

and i’m stoked that i won!

By: Heidi S

Heidi S — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:55:31 +0000

That makes a lot of sense, Sarah!

Like Michelle expressed in her comment, I have also struggled with trying to find the balance. A few years ago, people used to take my friendly behavior for flirtation. Flirtation WAS NOT my intention so I majorly worked on that area to the point where I became very stand-offish and UNfriendly towards men. that wasn’t good either. The past year I have been trying to find my balance and I think I’m getting there. You did a great job of describing it!

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:07:31 +0000

Great Post!

I agree with you 100%. I do the same thing. I try to not even look certain men in the eye because for some reason it makes ME so uncomfortable. I don’t want them to look back. You know?

I like being friendly. I like making others feel welcome and comfortable. I have to guard that so closely now. I don’t ever want to make my husband think that I am “more interested” in someone of the opposite sex than just a passing hello.

It’s tough to balance and knowing your own limitations is so important! It’s nice to hear this from someone else. I feel like at times I’m almost rude but I think people understand.

Merry Christmas!
Jessica

By: Zoë

Zoë — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 09:14:27 +0000

I really agree with your approach to handling potentially hazardous situations. Prevention is always better than cure. Your articles always inspire me; you always leave me with something to ponder. Thank you, for sharing who you are as well as your world.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:51:50 +0000

My pastor said something the other day and it totally resonated with me. He said:
“You never FALL into sin, you usually set yourself up for it.”
So by you acting “prudish” you are in fact protecting yourself and your marriage and not setting yourself up to sin.
Way to go Sarah!!!

By: Sarah Markley

Sarah Markley — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 05:37:59 +0000

I think “friendly” is just fine. Absolutely. And I think the “line” is different for every person. caring and kind is one thing, flirty and overly interested is something else. a lot of it depends on your purpose and your goal.

i think i err on the conservative side when it comes to male/female friendships as a married person. that being true, i limit my opposite gendered friendships as much as possible. i don’t work outside the home so I don’t have that factoring into my life. but i’m also not so conservative that i’m unfriendly or standoffish. i try to keep it all in moderation.

for example, a few weeks ago, a male friend of my husband ran into me at Starbucks while i was writing. he said “hello” and we started chatting for about 10 minutes. it was fine, innocent and good connecting with him because i hadn’t seen him in several months. the next time i talked to chad, i mentioned that i’d seen his friend earlier and that we’d chatted. he’s nice and i am in no way attracted to him. if i was and i still ran into him, i would have made an exit or kindly excused myself to keep working.

does that make any sense at all?