I walked all day beside him but by the time we got home last night, I felt like I hadn’t seen him at all.
We took the day off of work and school to farewell the cousins and our sister- and brother-in-law before they head back to England this week. It was our last hurrah.
So we battled the tornado warnings and a torrential lunchtime downpour to win as a prize a crowd-free day at Disneyland. Ten minute waits on all the big rides and most of them we simply walked on. It took more time for eleven people to make a decision WHICH ride to go on than it did actually waiting in line for it.
And all day long, I was near my husband but never with him.
He was distracted by theological talks with our brother-in-law and with emails and text messages from his office. I was distracted by disciplining combinations of five different kids (only two of which were my own) and by making sure we had all the people with us all of the time. We were all distracted by the rain, wet feet and cold hands.
Yet we plunged on (very literally) and came out of a ride in the early afternoon to a bright blue sky.
Hurry. Let’s hit all the rides we can. No one’s here. The rain has stopped (temporarily) and we can walk without splashing in ankle-deep puddles.
And yet the whole time, he and I were busy holding little hands and we ourselves never held hands. We barely hugged each other and we certainly didn’t get a minute to spare for ourselves.
I know. This is how these things go and I wasn’t really expecting anything different. But we got to the end of the day with soaking socks and we realized that we’d completely missed each other. We lived the whole day together but we never
really
saw
each
other.
How can I live in someone’s presence but not really acknowledge him?
How can I live in Someone’s presence but not really acknowledge Him?
I just did.
How many days do I live saying I follow Christ, acting like I follow Christ, wearing my Christianity like a wedding ring, but I do not live like I’m really in love with Him. I don’t walk next to Him. I don’t look for Him in the crowd. I don’t speak to Him in the soft, kind words I would use inside my home. In fact, I may not speak to Him at all.
There are days that this is true. Sadly.
But I don’t want to spend another day like this: living with Him, yet not living for Him.
I have to remove the distractions, pull on some rainboots, and focus on the Who of Who He is. I have to keep in my mind constantly that I am His, that I only live in relationship to Him and that my whole life is made up of steps that should follow Him. I have to live remembering that He is always there.
Because honestly, sometimes I forget.
I have to actually look at Him to really see Him.
What about you? Do you ever feel like this?
Written lovely and such a reminder…unfortunately, I find myself at the end of the day wondering that as well more often than I would like. or even the Living for Him, but not living with Him switch…
That is so true, a picture of exactly where and how I live most of my life. I need to get back to living my days WITH Him by my side every moment instead of just in the background. Thanks.
thank you for this post. what a great reminder!
Sarah,
How true and sad at the same time. How often I go through the day without anything more than a few meal-time prayers. Ann over at A Holy Experience posted about God stops and her watch beeping on the hour being a reminder to stop and pray and think about God. I’ve borrowed this idea, and some days it works well, and other days I don’t hear or just ignore the beep… why is this such a struggle. We’re meant to be together. I’m supposed to align my will with His, be in His word, and communing daily with Him.
Thanks for sharing so honestly!
I think I have been walking a long time going in my own direction. Thanks for helping me refocus and get back in step.
Once again Sarah you said it perfectly. I struggle everyday to take my thoughts captive and not be distracted by the world. Music makes a HUGE impact on my attitude. At home and in my car I listen to KLOVE christian radio but when I am working out I listening to “worldly”. The subtle messages creep in and affect me more than I realize. I stop myself and say “God, where are you in this?” I want to put the world in the background and God to be front and center in all that I do.
This has been my struggle my entire life as a Christian. I can resonate completely with you.
Thank the Lord for grace and His unending love:)
This is so beautiful, Sarah…
Sarah,
Wow…that was remarkably accurate. So many days are like that, both with my husband and with my Lord. Thank you for the clarity.
Julie
Oh yes I have felt like this many times. Thanks for this post!
I try to start every day by saying good morning to God and praying to Jesus that I remember to acknowledge and thank him throughout my day. Often at night, as I lay in bed, I think, “Dang it. It happened again.” Working on this. Thank you for your words. You rock, Sarah!
Yes. I definitely feel this way….sadly alot more than I should. Thanks for a great post.
Thanks for the reminder, Sarah. Seems like I am doing this more and more. And I need to change that. Your post always make me think about things. Thanks!
Your transparency and reflection are a tremendous asset for the kingdom. This was a beautifully written picture, and it touched my heart. Thanks for sharing. I’m very glad I followed your link. You just got a new subscriber.
Wayne (deepwaterwalk)
Perfectly put……..Praise God for revelation……..
Beautifully written. The truth in this is painful ~ but so needed for us to hear. AND great composition on your pictures
thanks misty.
and for the compliment! that is SO much coming from you =)
This describes my yesterday, and unfortunately, the beginnings of my today. Thank you for the reminder, thank you for providing a mirror for my heart. Far too often I tout my Christianity, even counsel others to pursue God, all while failing to connect with Him on my own.
Thank you.
sadly, i too, live my days like this. and if i were to be honest, more days than not. how can i say i am so passionate about something…be so inlove with Someone….and my life does not reflect that which i speak with my mouth? God strengthen me when i am weak. i need you.
thanks, sarah, for posting this. it was like you were speaking to me.
Sarah, thank you for this post. This is definitely the way I feel. God and I have not been close, because I keep walking away. Someday I will {hopefully} walk all the way back and stop wearing my “Christianity” like a wedding ring.
I have been lucky lately. God it seems has put someone in my path almost every day who has a question about God. coworkers, friends, my children. I have been overwhelmed by people wanting to talk about the nature of God, Faith. How do I know that he is real. What the difference is between a creator that has little to do with us and a REAL and Active God in charge of my daily life. After years of just being a christian because…well my dads a pastor and that was how i was raised…to suddenly and deeply have this connection and to be able to speak about it with other people…its amazing.
I know this all too well.
Yes. I do. With hubby, and with MY LORD. I want to live in a way that shines Him so bright. That requires sitting in the quiet, with Him daily. Meditating on His Word.
Every time I open up His Word, I LOVE Him more!
Every time I open my mind to think about my husband and all the wonderful qualities, I love him more too.
Thanks for this post Sarah!
Love,
Traci
beautiful post. thank you
i find that i can see Him most easily on the mountain tops of happy times AND in the valleys of sad times, but just “walking along the road” is when i tend to miss him.
thanks for the reminder, i’m gonna go spend some time in the Word and see if maybe i can say hello to my Savior!
Great Post…Thanks for the reminder…God Bless.
Man, I really love your words and the things the Lord is speaking to you… I love following your blog.
)
Inspired by your post, I had to share ours. thanks for the reminder.
http://www.zcouple.com/2010/01/what-is-he-saying-today.html
awe Sarah… Love the Analogy. Thank you so much for sharing, sister. I didn’t know I had ordered a wake up call; but, I sure did just receive one.
xo
every. day. with God and Michael. i miss them both.
What a beautiful reminder. Thanks for sharing!
Fun how this happens. Yesterday I starting ACTUALLY, really, truly, hugging my husband. Just hugging. Not flinching away when he reaches out to me. Not making faces at him.I just reached back and hugged him. For the first time.In 6 years. It felt beautiful. I could hardly let go. Thanks for sharing this. I feel the same way. Zoe Phillips
I loved this post girl! The pix are great. Joey and I are so stoked you got that shot of our guys! I love you and I pray the two of you get some good time together. Love you and will talk with you soon.
Kisses,
T
Very accurate post and a great reminder. Great pictures of your family too.
So well said and written. I love to read things that I will think about through the day. This is one of them.
this happens more often than i like to admit.
well stated my friend.
thanks. truly enjoyed reading this.
I think about this exact thing some nights when i get in bed and realize I’ve scrambled through the whole day.. what a beautiful reminder for all of us.
i love how you wrote this. that you wrote this.
i spend far too many days barely acknowledging the presence of the One i live with.