Don’t talk to me in the morning.
At least if it is Monday through Friday, from 6:45 to about 7:35.
Coffee doesn’t even help.
Let me explain. I’m not grumpy. I’m just focused. I’m a goal-oriented person. I move from A to B and do everything that needs to happen in between in order to get me (or my family in this case) to our goal: leaving for school.
I make lunches, take a shower (perhaps), get kids dressed, teeth brushed, hair brushed, breakfast eaten, dog walked and fed, and anything else that needs to be done in to make the goal, leaving for school, happen.
I’m not grumpy. Really I’m not. But I am focused. If Chad tries to tell me a nice story or ask me about the upcoming weekend, or wants me to listen to a song he’s written, it really can’t be between the times of 6:45 and 7:35 in the morning. In reality, if it doesn’t contribute to our goal, leaving for school, then it has to wait.
I’m just wired that way. I’m aware of it, and I’m also aware that I have to be flexible living in a house with probable THREE non-goal-oriented individuals.
Because the older I get the more I realize that people matter much more than getting something done.
Relationships are the only thing we’ll take into the next world.
We won’t take things to heaven, money or degrees. I can’t count my blessings using the measure of how-many-things-I’ve-ticked-off-my-list. I can’t pack my heart full of goals I’ve completed.
But I can pack it full of people. And conversations. And smiles.
And while, yes, we still have to leave for school on time, we still have to pile the mini-van full of girls, french braids and pink back packs, I can prepare myself for the hectic mornings. I can remember that children’s hearts are important and their routines are secondary. I can remember that my husband’s face is memorable, and I won’t remember tomorrow if I left at 7:35 or 7:36 today.
If I want a real to-do list, one that really matters, I should fill it full of names of friends to call, to write and to hug. I should think about our futures and not our pasts. It should be a list of things I can do to pour into the lives of my children, my family and the people I might meet during the day. I should make a list of people I need to thank or apologize to. My real to-do list should have the games my kids want to play with me on the floor in front of the TV, the names of each of their dolls, and what they don’t like about the boy who sits near them in class. It should have the desires and dreams that belong to my husband, the prayers and needs of my sister and my mother-in-law’s favorite stores.
What a overwhelming list!
Maybe.
Or maybe I will just be pleasantly surprised at how much I actually get done keeping PEOPLE in mind over things.
Do you need to make a new list today?
Yes, you do have men reading your site. Pastors, even. As if that makes a difference. Anyway, I really enjoyed your post this morning. It spoke to me (and my wife, who is an avid reader of yours). I can relate to the tension you feel between people and tasks. One would think those in ministry have dealt with this tension and overcome it, but not true. It’s still a struggle of mine. Thanks for naming the tension and blessings to you as you walk daily with it.
Thank you, Chris, for commenting. I know that some men read this blog but they rarely comment.
So thank you =)
And yes, I agree. It is a tension and maybe one I will always struggle with.
Thank you for ringing in.
This is what I have to constantly remind myself of. Thanks.
Yes, yes, yes…I need to make a people list and refer to it regularly!! Thanks for the reminder of what truly is important! I get overwhelmed by all the “stuff” and “things” and push the people in my life to the back burner. Lord, give me Your heart for the people you place in my life!!! AMEN!
You go Sarah!!!
Making me shake my head … my morning is the same and DO NOT TALK to me either! Yes .. Yes.. then your punch!!! Ouch!!!
I am with you.. a new to do list … Pray for me and I will pray for you… this is a tall order for a control freak like me!
Lord thank you for Sarah and for the wisdom she pours out to us in your name! Help her and I and all of us who read this to be instruments of your love and put the people in our lives first not our “stuff”. WE ask this in your name… AMEN!!!
Wow! Thank you Kim.=)
I feel it – the sweet sting of conviction BUT I needed to hear it so thank you! God’s been quietly reminding me to listen to the stories about Star Wars and skateboards and stop obsessing about the laundry and lists…if you think of it as being self important it helps to put things into perspective – me and my tasks are not more important than those around me.
thanks,
Sonia
Sarah,
I’ve been trying to remind myself of this everytime I ask my children to wait because I have something else “more important” to do. I’m a self-proclaimed list maker; I make lists of my lists. Now, I need a new one. Thanks Sarah.
i often have something “more important” to do. i know this very well. (sigh)
I LOVED this post. When I had my first child I quickly realized my “lists” were all messed up, but my lists are still something I have to re-write all the time (9 years later and 2 more kids). God’s grace makes the difference in my list when I remember who I am in Him. Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone in this list thing and for reminding me what really matters.
“God’s grace makes the difference in the list”
i love that.
A wonderful reminder. One I definitely need to take more to heart.
Thanks for sharing with us.
It is very enlightening to think that every day is a gift and every moment a priceless chance to make memories. It makes us appreciate the little things and not to become “project-focused”—which is a major tendency of mine. However, being focused and driven is not bad!! It’s a gift just like my husband’s spontaneity is a gift. We are just different. We all check and balance each other and it’s great to remind us that we need to keep our views on our lives fresh and according to His perspective. Mary and Martha, right?
oh yes, i live with a spontaneous husband too. it’s a joy =)
This post definitely speaks to me (and I don’t even have kids) I am definitely wired very similarly to you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself thinking about my “to do list” while someone – usually a family member, friend, co-worker or even my husband is talking to me. (and they usually have no idea)
Most women are multi-taskers by nature but I believe that it is possible to re-wire, re-train or re-focus our brains. I have to believe that. Because undoubtedly, if we don’t, we will miss things. Much more important things. Moments, conversations and special memories that are sure to fill us long after our “to do” list is forgotten.
Thanks Sarah! I needed that reminder!
I was just sitting down at the computer to make my “to-do-list” for the day. But thought I should check emails first. And there it is…my little cup of conviction. I have dust bunnies that are chasing me around the house, begging for attention, but I have been reminded of what is important.
Thanks Sarah, even though I don’t know you personally, God has filled my cup again in this moment through your ministry and willingness to share. Blessings for a great day!
Thank you Nicole. =)
I’m the kind of list maker who will even write already-completed items on my list simply so I can cross them off. Way too goal-oriented for my own good sometimes. Awesome reminder of the truly important to-do’s!
i ALWAYS do that. i thought i was the lone crazy woman.
I do that, too! It makes me feel so accomplished…plus I feel as if I haven’t wasted even more of my day.
wow….you sound just like me. Thanks for the reflection, I’ve been chewing on this idea for a while now…and its so good to hear someone else’s ideas on the matter!
Ouch … your words straight to my heart … thank you.
Great post! My to-do list definitely needs to be redone!
I love these thoughts. What an exciting list that would be!
sweet, strong & necessary words…thots…and heart!
you made my own heart pause…think hard…then smile REALLY BIG!
what an awesome reminder of what IS eternal!
love you & yours SO much…
amazed by Jesus,
dad
love you too, dad.
isn’t it funny how we seem to communicate in different ways via blog comments. =)
i am learning this also!
YESSSS – I need a list
I need to somehow get out of bed ontime
get myself ready (as in put on work clothes that arent wrinkled)
get five kids ready
get their breakfast and lunches made
get them to school on time
get me to work on time
Someday I would live to be ON-time, with hair brushed and make up on and look half decent.
Somday I would like to eat breakfast before 10AM sitting at my desk
Someday I would like to be able to do all that AND start my day with prayer and scripture
Someday i would like to do all the above and get to spend time in my husbands arms.
I am always late, unprepaired and ready to comletely spazz out.
You always say the things that I am thinking and can not find the words to say…Thank you!!!
BTW…awesome post!!
This is similar to what I wrote last night. My struggle is missing out on time to play with my daughter because I have chosen to spend the day cleaning. It is so hard to let it go.
Another Sarah
my personality is very similar to yours! Thanks for the reminder of what is important!
wow sarah this is so convicting to me. this is me to the T – make a list check it off, add items to list i did to check off, focused on my list and not wanting anything or anyone to get in the way of my accomplishments. i definitely miss out on growing of relationships and being intentional about relationships because i am more worried about my to do list and feeling “stressed” when it doesn’t all get done. i don’t make phone calls because the conversation might run into time i need to get projects done. i am a planner so the spontaneous is hard for me. when lance wants to randomly invite people over, i get panicked… is the house clean enough, do i have snacks/food to serve, etc… we miss out on so much because of my insecurity and list making. i am working on it… slowly.
today landon asked to read and snuggle during a time when i needed (according to my to do list) to be cleaning. i laid down with him, read with him, snuggled with him, got in a little snooze. the rainy day sure looked much brighter after that time.