We watch a lot of PBS in my house. And my daughter (eight-years-old and counting) is drawn to the cooking shows.
Amazing because I’m a “fix-it” meal preparer, I fix dinner. I don’t cook it. My family eats heathfully and well, but I don’t spend hours over the stove like the women on TV that make cooking an art. I just don’t. (cue the let-me-send-you-my-meal-plan emails).
Together we watch Barbeque University, Julia Child, Lidia’s Italy or America’s Test Kitchen. And its the sauces that get me. Always the sauces. The patience and waiting and endurance that goes into the sauces.
A large pot. Add ingredients. Use a wooden spoon to stir it all around and then simmer. All day. Or all afternoon at the least. The ingredients that enter the pot at the start of the cooking experience are the same ones that enter your mouth during dinner, but they don’t taste the same.
The cooking, the heat, the simmering has changed the ingredients.
The tomato has taken on the flavor of the basil, the onions have melded with the garlic. And the sugar? The sugar has done something to everything else in the pot.
The end result is beautiful.
Am I making you hungry yet?
Someone emailed me about this post and said:
“[There is a] fine line between being a child of God with a hopeful future and being a child of God that has this as a defining moment in her Christian walk. I don’t want this to define me but there is NO WAY to separate my walk with God from it. No way to separate my new marriage…from it. No way to separate my new perspective on life and my kids from it.”
Our stories can’t be separated from our lives and our perspectives just like I can’t separate the tomato from the garlic at the end of the afternoon. So live in that. We can see the past, the things we’ve done and the things that have been done to us, as a certain seasoning. Let the past be the pepper or garlic that makes the sauce speak up.
And then there’s story.
I couldn’t tell my story the month after or even the year after I’d lived it. I was too raw. I hadn’t simmered yet.
It took me nearly six years in stages: telling a couple friends, speaking to my women’s group at church, then sharing on this blog last August.
If we allow our experiences and personality flaws to be handed over to the Holy Spirit, then He works beautiful magic with them. He simmers them and let’s their tastes intersect with one another to become something entirely different (and better) than what He began with. He is the Creator. He can create that sort of magic in a person’s heart.
So if you have a story, and we ALL do, let it simmer. Let it cook. Be patient. It might take all afternoon or even all day.
But I promise, after God has shaved off all the raw grief and hurt, after you have come around again to look at it with new eyes, you’ll be ready to share.
Are you sharing your story yet? Or does it need more time to simmer?
[If you've shared your story on your blog, leave the link here in your comment so we can read where you've come from.]
Sarah,
You’re so REAL! Thank you. I guess that is due to the simmering that has occurred. I have a few stories that have moved from my heart and I’ve been able to share verbally, but that are still simmering for sharing on my blog or on a written page. God has moved me from some shame and embarrassment and now I gladly embrace the sauce that was created. It tastes pretty good because all of the pieces are of me. I see me w/new eyes and I like what I see and I hope my experiences will help others.
I am in a new story now that still has “ingredients” being tossed into the pot. Things still “taste” too much like themselves and I’m not comfortable w/the flavor. Although I am patient, I am still eager for a spoonful of victory.
So true…I think the Lord unfolded things for me over time until I understood more and more of the loss of our son in pregnancy. Until one day I realized that the loss of my son made a way for my daughter Aila, just as the death of His son made a way for me. http://theaspeaks.blogspot.com/2010/01/day-before-you.html
I love your blog, Sarah. I found it through my friend Denise Jones. Your words have spoken to me more than you know! Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. It’s needed, and He is using it for His glory, for sure.
My story comes in several parts and is being shared in bits and pieces. Two parts of it are here: http://abitmorethanajournal.blogspot.com/2009/07/good-day.html
and here:
http://abitmorethanajournal.blogspot.com/2009/06/breathe.html
Some of it will never be shared on the blog that my girls can read. That is encompassed in this poem:
Sometimes I am still consumed with fear when I take a bath. Fear that he will come in to the bathroom. It has been 25 years and I am still scared.
Sometimes when someone takes my picture, I want to yank the camera out of their hands. It is as if people need permission to take my picture. Even harmless, happy pictures.
Sometimes, the simplest every day sound or smell will make me jump out of my skin. Because it reminds me of another sound, another smell, another time.
Sometimes I curl up in a ball and wish I could suck my thumb. I don’t. That would be weird. But I still wish it when I am aching and wanting somewhere safe. But I wasn’t even really safe then.
Sometimes the oddest things will make me want to vomit. A cowboy hat for example.
Sometimes it feels as if no one and no where are safe. That I am all alone and there is no one to trust. And then I realize that is as true as it is false. There are no humans who have my back. I am alone in this world. But I have a Savior who sees the beginning from the end and He is looking out for me in this wicked evil world. And then
Sometimes I know that I will be OK. It may take a while, but one day I will not be consumed by what is in the past. I will be completely present here and now.
Sometimes I can hold on to that one day and be OK.
Sometimes.
I have shared my story and will continue to do so. It is a story of God’s grace, redemption, forgiveness (not only His but his and mine).
This is my story:
http://thailandoct2008.blogspot.com/2009/08/have-you-ever-sit-and-thought-back-to.html
And part of my beginnings….
http://thailandoct2008.blogspot.com/2009/08/father-figure.html
My story is about forgiveness and the long process it took for my family to be made whole again. After years of fighting which then turned to silence, we have finally forgiven each other and what a process it has been. It really changes you once you go through losing your family and then reconnecting with them again…this time on a whole new level. Here’s a snapshot of the story….THANK YOU SARAH! Your post abouting putting off things changed my life and my family! You are changing lives and impacting people….continue to write!
http://sheenahope.blogspot.com/2009/11/answered-prayer.html
I love this post. My youngest son is 5 and totally loves the foodnetwork. I’ve never thought of it from this point of view and I really like it. Just last year our pastor did a series of sermons on telling your story and how each part/step in our lives creates that story … exactly like you said … it’s a part of you.
God Bless,
Aine
Sarah, I am a new subscriber to your blog, reading all the way across the country in PA. Thank you for writing. You are gifted and your words are an inspiration. I appreciate your perspective!
Sarah, you’ve touched it spot on. I am blessed by your words. I guess my story is still simmering. This is the closest I could get to sharing, so far…
http://TheHomesteadHeart.blogspot.com/2009/06/grover-grover-grovermy-answer-to-your.html
Thank you for inviting us to be vulnerable, and blessed in sharing.
ahhh Sarah, thank you. Perfect metaphor for me, but no my story isn’t ready to share yet. It’s simmering along very happily and the main ingredients (me and my favorite:) are blissfully soaking like we’re in a hot tub. Just not ready yet. You make me feel hopeful though that it is seasoning us for God’s purpose in our lives. Thank you. Can’t wait to thank you in person someday.
I LOVE this post today!
It really helps me understand the season I am in. Simmering. I am not ready to tell a lot of people about the hurt that I am going through right now – hurt caused by situations in life and poor choices made by peole very close to me. I feel a little socially awkward right now and I feel like it is difficult to communicate because of the amount of healing that is occuring on the inside of me that other people don’t realize.
Rather than being frustrated with myself (which I have been) I am now going to allow myself to simmer, allow myself to heal in this season of life, and embrance the work I know God is doing and not put Him on my time table. I will be patient with myself and realize that in the future I will be able to use this season of hurt and healing for His glory!
Hi Heidi! If you’re the Heidi I think you are, then I can’t wait for you to share your story with others
Your email was great, by the way. I responded a while back…hope you got it!
We all have a story, don’t we? One thing I LOVE is that God is in the midst of each one of our stories. Moving like only He can, if we allow it. That’s the hard part. Allowing Him to change us. So difficult, but I’m forever grateful for the change that has come from the darkness. And He’s not done with it yet…..still changing me, changing my husband, changing our family. So thankful for redemption…..
http://whitesix.blogspot.com/2009/11/and-i-broke-one-too.html
Hi Sarah,
I share a common thread with many of the responses so far. I, too, and waiting for my story to come full circle. After years and years of infertility, I thought my story was completed with the arrival of my son and HIS story- an amazing tale beginning with a young Mexican girl who made her way across the border and all the way north to St. Paul, Minnesota. Her pregnancy, hours from being aborted, was spared by God’s intervention and given to ME. My years of waiting for my baby finally came! Jeremiah is a daily reminder of God’s intricate love. A little over a year later I discovered I was pregnant only to lose that baby, and then another one 3 months later. I’m waiting again, something I thought was over in this area of my life, and struggled for many months this past year. So my story is not yet finished, and at times the “simmering” has been more painful than I could’ve ever expected. But one thing I do know, these means are God’s PERFECT way about bringing His PERFECT results, so I will wait. And I will taste delicious when this is all said and done!
http://www.littlemisseva.blogspot.com (Tiffany)
My story is about post-partum depression which I dealt with after the birth of my second child. She was a high-needs baby who rarely slept and screamed incessantly for the first year of her life. I felt completely alone and overwhelmed and no one I told understood. It was such a season of isolation which sent me deep into depression where I hung out till she was 18 months old.
I opened up about it minimally on my blog to explain how God brought me out of it and restored my joy. It was difficult because my blog is for my entire family and friend circle to read, and honestly, no one knew. Even still, no one really understands how bad things were. That’s something I don’t know how to share yet.
Here is the closest I came to being open over a year ago:
http://usfournomore.blogspot.com/2008/06/joy.html
Thanks you Sarah for allowing others the courage to share. I love you. Here is my link: mahalogurl.blogspot.com
http://acornalley.andieandlee.com/2009/01/20/the-girl-inside-me/
My story was about my miscarriage. It didn’t simmer long, and I’m not sure why, but I felt such an urgency to write it that I wrote it only hours after coming home from the hospital. I wrote graphic details that I would normally think were embarrassing, but for some reason, I felt I needed to share it that way. http://talesofahorvathhousewife.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-story.html
mmm, I am still simmering, but reading everyone else gives me courage!
my story is just now being told…part of it is here kellyclinger.wordpress.com
the rest is still to come…as i process and heal, more comes to the surface…
thanks for throwing courage on us…
kc
I actually haven’t written much of my story down yet- too fresh. But this is my blog.
http://rollseyessighs.wordpress.com/
Thanks Sarah…..
Oh Sarah, I can’t even tell you how much God uses YOUR words to simmer me. This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I feel a desperate need to share my story but feel like it is still somewhat unwritten and still in need of some simmering. These words of yours are comforting, encouraging, sustaining: “But I promise, after God has shaved off all the raw grief and hurt, after you have come around again to look at it with new eyes, you’ll be ready to share.” That is exactly what I needed today. And when I do start writing my story, you can find it here… nikkibrungard.blogspot.com. You are precious to all of us who read your words. Thank you so, so much for just being you.
Oh Sarah.
I do love your blog and am grateful I found it late one evening whilst lonely and wasting time in a dangerous place – the internet itself.
As I shared my story privately with you I really appreciated your advice to wait until my story is finished to begin telling it.
And so simmering feels like the perfect description.
(And simmering is HOT and uncomfortable for a LONG time.) I am still in the middle of that long time I think but some days the scent smeels good. And some days – not so much.
Thank you.
(ponderingparenting.blogspot.com)
this is a little different, but it’s my story about my emotions upon finding out that my daughter has a rare genetic disorder
http://watzspot.blogspot.com/2009/01/can-i-be-honest-with-you.html
love your blog!
I LOVE this post! It is so timely for me today! I am sending it straight away to my hubby. He needs this today. Your words and your heart are such a blessing to me Sarah. Thank You.
Writing my story now: Part Five is here: http://jewelsightings.blogspot.com/
You can find the earlier posts by clicking on links at the bottom of the page:
amazing…how Jesus simmers us all…old, young, newbie or veteran…none of us are past His “low heat”
i love how Jesus has & is simmering you & yours, girl…
ALL my love,
dad
“The cooking, the heat, the simmering has changed the ingredients.”
I love that. I love that God takes all our ingredients and changes them for His glory. He is the heat that makes us beautiful.
Some parts of my story I’ve shared…
http://www.simplysara.ca/2009/02/i-once-was-lost-but-now-im-found.html
http://www.simplysara.ca/2009/03/but-now-im-found.html
And some are still simmering…
i wrote about how God is rewriting my story. and i’m trying to tell it. the first story (there are two), i want grace to pour out as i tell it. i like to “fix” meals too (i remember having this conversation in your kitchen
). this story meal is taking alot more preparation.
What a great way to say it. I love to read your blog – you say what I want to say – only 100 times better. Keep at it girl! I appreciate your heart.
Here is my story. Or better yet, “His Story” lived through my life.
http://kaseye.wordpress.com/2009/12/07/a-start/
Here is my story…the story of my baby boy. I’m still simmering but God is doing amazing thingsin my walk with him as I forever deal with this. Thanks for reading.
http://peyton-cread-blythe.memory-of.com
Robyn, I just read Peyton’s story and saw his photos. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. I pray that God continues to do amazing things in you.
Blessings.
Interestingly enough, my last blog was on cooking as well! The link is below:
I’ve heard about your blog through Kara, love it!
http://flourishcourtneypooler.blogspot.com/2009/12/mastering-art-of-french-cooking-and-of.html
Oh, I love this idea. I am still simmering. The story is still too…fresh and I’m still learning to share in a way that exudes both grace and the destruction of sin without being focused on the sin. And I’m sure there’s more to come and more redemption and restoration that God wants to do before my story is fully there!
Wonderful post Sarah!
I am not unique in my walk. There are many who have tasted the flavor of my pain. But the pain I really struggle with is surrendering it all to God. I write about it often. But here are the two links that I think explain it best.
http://ellasmom505.blogspot.com/2010/01/just-one-of-those-days.html
http://ellasmom505.blogspot.com/2010/01/rubbing-salt-into-wound.html
I’ve been working towards sharing my story (on my blog) for some time now. I’m not ready to share all of it, but some has been told.
http://onegirl-itjusttakesone.blogspot.com/2010/01/pre-8-and-homework.html
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That was beautiful. I have many stories. Some have simmered and are fragrant. Others are still cooking…
http://www.lifewithmamita.blogspot.com
I don’t think I really have a “story” … I just have this life that simmers along and I offer people the tasting spoon when they’d like a sample.
Hello, just needed you to know I have added your site to my Google bookmarks because of your great blog layout. But seriously, I think your site has one of the freshest theme I’ve came across. It really helps make reading your blog a lot better.