I haven’t spent this much time with these two girls since college. (Lisa and Chrissie)
Yeah, that’s right. I used to live with them. And because I got married so young, they were the last people I lived with before my current roommate: my husband. (not counting the two weeks I spent at the end of May in 1996 living with my parents)
Other than that, it was them.
They are identical twins and twins have something special.
I guess some twins have their own special twin language, they might have switched places in the classroom when they were kids and for goodness sake, they’ve shared the same womb. They have a special connection which may even be more special than sisters.
But from the time I first met them in a dreadful college tennis class over seventeen years ago I’ve always felt accepted.
I’m not a twin. I’m not even a real blood and DNA sister, but I’ve always felt on some kind of bonded equal level with them. They’ve never made me feel “outside” or less than because I’m not part of their real family.
And whether or not I AM a sister, I feel like one. I feel like I can watch TV in the hotel room if they fall asleep. I feel like I can walk around in my pajamas in front of them and if the great old Opryland hotel hadn’t fixed the room mixup as well as they did, I might have been sharing a sofa bed with both of them (don’t ask me how we would have done that).
I can wear a bath towel if I have too, I can talk to someone else during lunch and they don’t feel slighted, and I can borrow money and they know I’d pay them back. I have a unique relationship with each of them and they feel comfortable with me around.
I’m family.
It’s not official. I haven’t gotten any paperwork to say that I’m REALLY a part of their family. I didn’t marry one of their brothers. And their mom and dad didn’t adopt me.
But I’m still family.
I wasn’t known by them, but they’ve decided to know me, to challenge me, to make room for me and to love me. In a lateral way that only friends can, they’ve adopted me.
It’s a temporal reflection of how I’ve been adopted and chosen by God.
I wasn’t part of the family, but now I am.
I was an outsider, but now I have full rights as an heir.
I was alone and now I’m a part of the Body of Christ, a beautiful community of broken and healed people just like me.
I was an orphan, but now I’m home.
And even closer than a twin, better than the made-up words of twin-language is my capacity for intimacy and communication with my Creator.
This is what Christ does for us. Adopts. Chooses.
Creates a family.
I’m home.
Sarah this exactly how I feel. I am an only child and prayed for sisters and one day they moved in nextstore. Nicole and Andrea, they were 5 and 3 at the time and I was 14. I used to babysit them and now being 12 and 9, they no longer need me to babysit but I consider them my sisters. I also consider their mom, my mom as well, due to the fact that she has helped me through the trails and tribulations of high school. My 3 church families are def. my family. I can now say I have over 100 sisters, brothers, mothers, aunts, dads, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, etc. Also, going to a christian college has opened the door to real sisterhood for me. I was so happy when I found out that when you accept Jesus, you get a very large family, brothers and sisters in Christ! I am still overjoyed at the fact that I can call my closest friends sisters in Christ! Its like you can be yourself around them and be able to tell them anything! It’s amazing! God is amazing!!!
Love that about God. I am His child. He chose me!
Thank you for that. Thank you for the reminder that although my ‘family’ is very small that I am part of a much larger family. My friends….
I have always felt a little lonely because both my parents are deceased and my older brother is also. My grand-parents who raised me are gone. I needed to be reminded that although at times I may feel lonely or alone I am not alone and I am not forgotten.
It feels good to belong and to know we
aren’t just tolerated but rather we are loved and desired.
Love u girl
As an adoptive mom, I guess I feel that adoption itself and being adopted by God is so much more powerful and magnificent than the words you wrote. More painful. More beautiful. More passionate. More accepting. More LOVE. Un-ending. Un-dying. Sacrificial.
Adoption IS about LOVE. But you can’t talk about adoption without sacrifice and pain.
Your post is quaint but I feel like it is a pretty shallow representation and sort of misses the point of what adoption and adoption by God really means. (Sorry, I love your blog, but have to be honest!) I think so many people either forget or do not realize that adoption involves PAIN beyond compare and SACRIFICE like no one can imagine until they have been through the experience of placing or adopting a child.
Knowing what we have been through in our journey to adopt our two most precious gifts in the word, I guess we have a tiny bit better inkling to what those words truly mean – to have your heart ripped out, thrown on the floor, stomped on a few times and then put back in… to have your entire world as you know it come crashing down. To have no idea what direction to step. To be completely lost. And then… a miracle happens.
A family loves their child more than themselves. They sacrifice their own heart to give “the world” to THEIR child. By allowing them to become OUR child. More than one heart is broken, but the loves multiplies and multiplies beyond words. Not only for the child, but for the family sacrificing and receiving.
There is NO greater gift in this life, but it is not without immense heartache as well. We always tell people who ask about adoption, it will be the hardest thing you will ever do – but also the most rewarding and amazing experience of the rest of your life.
Sarah, thanks for this post. I feel the same way about you – you are my sister. You are a gift.
Knowing you, growing up with you, struggling and laughing with you through these years has been quite a journey. Different from, but every bit of as meaningful and powerful as, my relationship with my adopted daughters.
The fact that God has adopted us into his family and converged our paths is an amazing blessing.
I love you, Sweet Sarah. Now let’s get that paperwork started.
Isn’t it special to be chosen by love and welcomed in because of it? Love it. Thanks for another remarkable post! And hey, love to see your hubby loving you out loud. Very sweet man! Thanks for inviting us into your world, both of you.
Love it!!
I am friends with identical twins and I feel the same exact way! Knowing Lisa, I am not surprised that she is so wonderful, but I love how you put it. I always feel like a triplet with “my twins” and now I appreciate them even more. The beauty of sisters in Christ! =)
I have the same relationship with one of my girlfriends and her two sisters. In fact, their kids call me Aunty. What a wonderful time we have when we’re together. I totally get what you’re saying here. On a trip to San Antonio one year, we bought tee shirts…the three sisters had “I’m the oldest” “I’m the youngest”, and “I’m in the middle”. Mine read, “And I’m Cinderella”. One of our sillier purchases. Yep, I’m adopted, too.
love you sarah. so glad you’re my sis. xo
sarah, when I met the girls at Blissdom last year, I felt exactly the same way about them! I only spent a weekend with them, so I can only imagine how it would be after such a long friendship. They are 2 very special ladies!