Comments on: Growing Up Beside You http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/ The Best Days of My Life Wed, 08 Sep 2010 02:08:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Sarah http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13284 Sarah Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:45:51 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13284 Wow....this was a good post and good comments to read right now. I am 24 and just got engaged. Anything that has to do with preparing for marriage I want to read right now! Thanks for all of the stories and thoughts, ladies! Wow….this was a good post and good comments to read right now. I am 24 and just got engaged. Anything that has to do with preparing for marriage I want to read right now! Thanks for all of the stories and thoughts, ladies!

]]> By: julie http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13277 julie Thu, 18 Feb 2010 09:33:48 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13277 I wish I knew I get a whole family with my husband. Of course I knew that but I wish I could comprehend it truly. We come from very different backgrounds which is really hard for me now (after 3 years of marriage). I wish I knew I get a whole family with my husband. Of course I knew that but I wish I could comprehend it truly. We come from very different backgrounds which is really hard for me now (after 3 years of marriage).

]]> By: laurie http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13274 laurie Thu, 18 Feb 2010 04:58:00 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13274 Hearing this from you a few years ago changed my life and kept me from getting married to young! thanks :-) Hearing this from you a few years ago changed my life and kept me from getting married to young! thanks :-)

]]> By: Sarah http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13272 Sarah Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:25:30 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13272 Wow! That's a loaded question!! I was 22 when I got married. My husband is pretty much the only guy I ever really dated...and I was definitely the only girl he ever dated. I think I thought that just because we had dated for 3 & 1/2 years, we knew each other perfectly...but, it takes WAY longer than that to really get to know each other on a deep soul level. I wish I had known that you aren't nice or giving to your spouse because they are being good to you. You give of yourself to them regardless of how they may be treating you. When you truly learn and understand what it means to love someone unconditionally, that is when marriage really becomes AMAZING. We have been married almost 8 years, but I'd say it took us a good 6 years to really understand how to love each other (that adds up to almost TEN years before we really "got" it!!!). To any other people who get married young, I would just say that marriage is ALWAYS worth the work and struggles...because with time, it is those things that will eventually lead you to an AMAZING LOVE and marriage. I always felt so discouraged when we had times that we just weren't getting along...I felt like we were destined to be another statistic/divorce. How GRATEFUL I am that God has seen us through. I can honestly say that my whole heart belongs to my husband that I am madly in love with him (not that I always like him...hahaha). Marriage is worth the fight!! So, to sum it up, I wish I had known that having an awesome marriage takes a lot of time, work, sweat, and tears...but, it will get there with time!! Wow! That’s a loaded question!! I was 22 when I got married. My husband is pretty much the only guy I ever really dated…and I was definitely the only girl he ever dated. I think I thought that just because we had dated for 3 & 1/2 years, we knew each other perfectly…but, it takes WAY longer than that to really get to know each other on a deep soul level.
I wish I had known that you aren’t nice or giving to your spouse because they are being good to you. You give of yourself to them regardless of how they may be treating you. When you truly learn and understand what it means to love someone unconditionally, that is when marriage really becomes AMAZING. We have been married almost 8 years, but I’d say it took us a good 6 years to really understand how to love each other (that adds up to almost TEN years before we really “got” it!!!).
To any other people who get married young, I would just say that marriage is ALWAYS worth the work and struggles…because with time, it is those things that will eventually lead you to an AMAZING LOVE and marriage. I always felt so discouraged when we had times that we just weren’t getting along…I felt like we were destined to be another statistic/divorce. How GRATEFUL I am that God has seen us through. I can honestly say that my whole heart belongs to my husband that I am madly in love with him (not that I always like him…hahaha). Marriage is worth the fight!!
So, to sum it up, I wish I had known that having an awesome marriage takes a lot of time, work, sweat, and tears…but, it will get there with time!!

]]> By: Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13267 Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:04:15 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13267 Sarah, I really liked this post (I clicked back here after reading the whole thing). I was 20 and my husband was 22 when we got married. And for us, it was WAY too early. I don't necessarily regret getting married, but we just didn't know what we were doing! And because of that, we've had several years of HARD, MESSY and HURT. Don't get me wrong - we're okay now! But wow, when I think about how long it's going to take us to get from BAD to OKAY to GREAT? Well, I just wonder what our marriage would look like if we'd figured some things out before we got married. Then again, I'm not sure we WOULD have figured out the most important things on our own. So, I waffle on this issue. As you can see. :) I wish we'd known so many things (don't sweat the small stuff, put God first and each other immediately second, respect my husband, don't lie to your wife, and on and on). But I kind of like the way we've grown up together. Sarah, I really liked this post (I clicked back here after reading the whole thing). I was 20 and my husband was 22 when we got married. And for us, it was WAY too early. I don’t necessarily regret getting married, but we just didn’t know what we were doing! And because of that, we’ve had several years of HARD, MESSY and HURT.

Don’t get me wrong – we’re okay now! But wow, when I think about how long it’s going to take us to get from BAD to OKAY to GREAT? Well, I just wonder what our marriage would look like if we’d figured some things out before we got married. Then again, I’m not sure we WOULD have figured out the most important things on our own.

So, I waffle on this issue. As you can see. :) I wish we’d known so many things (don’t sweat the small stuff, put God first and each other immediately second, respect my husband, don’t lie to your wife, and on and on). But I kind of like the way we’ve grown up together.

]]> By: Angie Platten http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13266 Angie Platten Wed, 17 Feb 2010 21:47:23 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13266 I wish I'd have known myself better so I'd have my own two feet to stand on when the person I married began tearing me apart. I wish I'd have known my husband had mental illness and would either from choice or mental illness, control, manipulate, and verbally, mentally, and emotionally abuse me. I wish I'd known I'd have no voice. I wish I'd been stronger and known how to love myself from the beginning before I walked into it. I'd have made different choices for myself. And I wish I could say the nice things other are saying about their marriage of 24 years, but I can't. I wish I’d have known myself better so I’d have my own two feet to stand on when the person I married began tearing me apart. I wish I’d have known my husband had mental illness and would either from choice or mental illness, control, manipulate, and verbally, mentally, and emotionally abuse me. I wish I’d known I’d have no voice. I wish I’d been stronger and known how to love myself from the beginning before I walked into it. I’d have made different choices for myself.

And I wish I could say the nice things other are saying about their marriage of 24 years, but I can’t.

]]> By: lisabirch http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13265 lisabirch Wed, 17 Feb 2010 20:56:44 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13265 that my marriage is a direct reflection of my relationship with Christ. that my marriage is a direct reflection of my relationship with Christ.

]]> By: Jason http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13263 Jason Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:43:08 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13263 The one thing I wish I'd known was that I wasn't ready. The one thing I wish I’d known was that I wasn’t ready.

]]> By: Kristen http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13262 Kristen Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:37:02 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13262 the issues you have before marriage are going to still be there, maybe even intensify instead of going away. i remember thinking... oh this won't be an issue once we are married and i am his wife. i was wrong and it has taken a lot of heart ache, struggles, and work to get through those issues in 13 1/2 years. even though we should have worked through and resolved those issues before we got married i don't know if i would change anything. we are now different people and different as a couple because of those challenges. the issues you have before marriage are going to still be there, maybe even intensify instead of going away. i remember thinking… oh this won’t be an issue once we are married and i am his wife. i was wrong and it has taken a lot of heart ache, struggles, and work to get through those issues in 13 1/2 years. even though we should have worked through and resolved those issues before we got married i don’t know if i would change anything. we are now different people and different as a couple because of those challenges.

]]> By: Sarah Markley http://www.sarahmarkley.com/2010/02/growing-up-beside-you/comment-page-1/#comment-13261 Sarah Markley Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:30:04 +0000 http://www.sarahmarkley.com/?p=2016#comment-13261 i totally agree. there is far too much to work through to worry about clothes on the floor. =) i totally agree. there is far too much to work through to worry about clothes on the floor. =)

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