I’ve been a little distracted for the last 6 months.
It took me a tear-spent conversation with my husband to actually come to that conclusion. I needed to sit with him face-to-face and talk about what’s important to actually flesh that out.
Even though I’ve been distracted I’m still reading to my four-year-old, I’m still quizzing my second grader on her spelling words, and I’m taking time with each of them to “get down on their level” and interact. I‘m still calling my husband on the phone, texting “I love yous” to him and clamoring for date nights once in awhile.
But there is a part of me that isn’t present.
There is a rumbling of my mind always. I’m making lists in my head, I’m working out writing projects, I’m worrying that my book isn’t near finished yet. I’m thinking about the speaking engagement I have next month, I’m wondering when I can talk to ______ about the project we’ve just begun to think about and I’m always, always mindful of the things that I have to do. That I must do.
“We can’t take on another thing,” I pleaded with Chad last night as he shared some things with me. “My mind is already filled with so much I just can’t fathom thinking about
one
more
thing.”
And it wasn’t his fault. This opportunity, in any other time in our lives, would be perfect. But something has to give because I can’t live a half-life anymore.
So I’m at a crossroads of decision making: What will I keep? What will I give up? What is important?
I do know one thing, however.
Love isn’t distracted.
Love pays attention.
Love takes notice.
Love watches, and waits and laughs with others.
Love engages.
I don’t want to live my life as the mind-rumbler, always thinking about something else. I want to be Love to others. I want to pay attention, remember details, live life with people. I want to take notice of the tiny, simple things that make up my day. When I’m distracted and not paying attention to the people in my life who are RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME then I’m not showing love to them.
Because Christ Himself is Love. He pays attention. He watches isn’t distracted by the rest of the world’s pangs and griefs while He’s engaging me. He is present with me all the time.
So I need to begin to say NO more than I say YES.
I need to create “work hours” and not try to meld it all together.
I need to turn off my phone at night.
I need to pay attention to the beautiful growing up that is happening right in front of me.
Have you been distracted? Have you ever felt like this?
Of course! I’ve been dwelling on this a lot lately. It’s easy to get distracted and lose sight of Jesus’ commandment…”A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another,” John 13:34. If we love Jesus, we would keep this commandment…”If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word,” John 14:23…and His word was that we love one another!
Thanks for sharing your heart on a daily basis! I look forward to hearing how things change as you are mindful of loving others with Jesus’ love.
Love takes me to a higher level. And when I’m around someone who does not put love any place in their life, that’s when I Cor. 13 THE love chapter shines through and I can’t help but tell them I love them. When I’m around someone who takes love for granted; I am distracted. It gets to me. Sarah, when you say “love engages” is absolutely the truth. As a wife I totally believe that the love does engage and shows! My husband thinks it is being “too girly” when he shows his love in public. Society seems to be dictating that these days. I totally disagree. But, I can’t make him think otherwise; I know he is madly in love with me, but to show it, oh no.
God uses you to bless me and confirm things soooo often. We just canceled a trip to Disney (crazy people, I know) yesterday because we are so tired of the distraction. Don’t get me wrong we love Disney and vacation there every year, but lets face it, Disney is about the next high not the real moments of life and we feel like we are missing so many, we are physically there, but some how disconected. So next week we will be at home together just enjoying each others company around a game table, or on a walk. We do have a few outings planned, but they are ones that will allow conversations to happen also. After we cancelled yesterday my husband and I felt such relief, we were giddy. God had lead us both to the same choice in different ways, and when we looked back and saw how his hand had been working we felt so blessed and can’t wait to catch up with him and each other next week.
I have had my own home run business for 7 years now and in the beginning I didn’t set boundaries and I took over and made us all miserable, now I have work hours and I turn the phone off and only check voice mail when I am back at “work”. It makes such a differance. I stoped taking my planner with me places so peolple couldn’t stop me to get appointments when I was out.
This all took people a little getting used to but, they adjusted and now it is the norm. So do what you need to for you family, people will adjust. If that means you cut back writing here, then I will miss you with my morning coffee, but I will love you more for putting God and your family first. I will pray for you and your family. God is good and he will carry you though this transition.
Cha Cha
My husband says I live for the next ‘big thing’. Planning things is part of my thought process always. And yes, it’s a huge distraction. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night and breaking out in a sweat because I need to do this or I need to do that. What kind of life am I living if I’m not living in the moment? It’s not a constant, but when those thoughts come I have to push them aside forcefully so I can enjoy the right now. Sounds like I need a schedule or planner. Thanks Sarah.
I very much related to this post, Sarah. I highly recommend the book I just finished by Penelope Wilcock, called In Celebration of Simplicity. It has me considering things I never have in my life. She also wrote one of my favorite books ever, The Hawk and the Dove. Both are amazing.
Just wanted to say that last night I went to a Family Mixer at our church. I have four kiddos but the only one that was the age to attend was my youngest. We had a “to do” list to accomplish throughout the night. It included making handprint projects with our hands, hopping on one foot for 10 seconds, getting “heart” tatoos, and making health care kits for Haiti. We even danced in a room rocking to some Jesus music that made us both giggle and giggle. At the end we needed to find the Children’s Pastor and tell her our favorite activity. Tabbi said,” my favorite thing was being with my mom.” Well, there you go. I didn’t plan to make her feel special, it was just on our list of things to do for Wednesday. Yet, God had a bigger plan and now we have a very sweet memory just for the two of us. Cool.
This is sweet.
last night my 4 yr old asked me to dance with her so i did. and it seemed like more than normal, she asked me to stop and read books to her all day. i took that as God working on my heart in this very thing and every time she asked, i read to her. i didn’t tell her “just a minute”, i just stopped. =)
amazing how god works in us thru our kids.
that last comment was me. apparently Chad was the last one logged into wordpress using this computer. =)
I’m there! There are so many ‘good’ things that I could be doing at any given point in time and they are things that I love to do. And often, God’s ‘best’ things are the more hidden, unseen, sacrifical acts of love.
It’s the cry of my heart that I would hear His voice and follow Him – no matter what.
Thanks for the blessing you gave me today.
i used to spend my whole life looking forward to what was to come, but by the time ‘it’ finally arrived, instead of enjoying it, i ended up being disappointed and started looking forward to the next big thing.
i’ve tried really hard (and i’m still learning how) to enjoy and embrace the present-as each moment is a gift from God. Sure, i still look forward to things but not in an all consuming way that prevents me from living in and being present in this moment.
Yes and Yes! I oversee worship for my church, but from home, with no “office hours,” and I am also a singer/songwriter. So many other things to be on my mind, instead of staying focused on the moment… blogs, housework, my kids schoolwork (we homeschool). I, too, was thinking of establishing some “work hours” for worship and my CD promotion, to help me to stay focused, and know it will still get done. Thanks for the encouragement!
Ouch, that was good and I needed to hear it today! Yes I am distracted, and a mind-rumbler with multi-tasking happening in the back of my head even as I type this. And some of the people who I love the most, and want to be the most like are the ones that stare through you when you speak to them, who are so there, and you feel like there’s nothing else going on in the world for them — they are listening to you. I am a distracted Mom and wife, and I’m glad to be reminded about what I’m missing! (And to mention, I actually think my multi-tasking mind is hindering my sleep lately! I’ve been practicing Isaiah 26:3 and trying to stay focused on the Lord instead. O the goodness of grace!)
Thank you!!! for holding a mirror up to my face and making me take a step back for a moment. I always have a to-do list running in my head…taking care of a husband, two kids, an elderly mother, three dogs and a cat, and working part-time, volunteering at church/school…. that happens. But I notice that, no matter what I’m doing, I think “shouldn’t I be doing something else? something “productive”? When sometimes just being with my kids as they do their homework, or read, is what I “should” be doing.
Lately I am distracted all the time. I feel like I cannot shut out all the things running around in my head. Thanks for helping to take time today to refocus and Pay attention to what really maters. Happy Valentines’s day.
I needed to hear this. I need to pay more attention to what’s right in front of me and tell my mind to be quiet. Thanks for the swift kick in the pants. I needed it.
As I was reading your post, and as I’m writing this comment, my 3-year-old daughter is excitedly showing me how she can open and snap shut her new Cinderella wallet. I was feeling slightly annoyed because I wanted to read your post…and then I felt guilty.
I’m a new blogger and I am all excited about writing and reading other people’s work and having this outlet beyond my home. But in the last week I’ve begun to notice how distracted I’ve been…and neglectful. Times when I should be playing with the kids or doing something around the house have been so quickly eaten up by the computer or my iPhone.
This post is inspiring me to set aside set times that are for me to engage with the blogs I’m following and to write. Then, I won’t feel so guilty about being distracted from my husband, kids and home. Also, it will make what I write better because I won’t be distracted by my husband, kids and home.
Thanks for sharing and being so genuine!
such a good post Sarah and something I need to be reminded of on a daily basis. it is so easy to be distracted and not live in the moment with those closest too us. Some times i think that for those of us who are “creative” it is even harder because we are always creating things in our minds and thinking about the “next” thing. For me it is a matter of every single day before I get my day rolling, to ask God to guide me throughout the day…to accomplish the things that are important to Him… to focus on the important not the urgent. i love your writing, Sarah. thanks for sharing with us.
I wonder sometimes if this is the very reason God allowed me to be sick. I was so distracted when my guys were little, I barely remember two years of their lives. But then I burned out and had to stay at home, resting. Which included reading, legos, trains, reading, gardening, treehouses, reading, bicycles, blocks, reading, nature walks, journals, reading, cooking, play dates, reading…
It has been a blessing…this illness God allowed.
You are not alone! Listen to Sara Groves “One More Thing”. She has a tendency to speak my language.
she speaks my language too. =)
i feel as though i live distracted.
deep breath…
gonna be pondering your words today. thank you, friend.
Wow. So very where I am right now. Working from home means feeling like I can always be “at work”. GOTTA put a stop to that.
Thanks for the reminder.
I was going to say this SAME exact thing on my blog. I feel stretched. On so many levels. To be in too many places for too many people. So thanks for atleast encouraging me that I am not alone in needing to walk away from some things. I’m right there with you.
It’s funny, I’m not married yet, and I know already this will be a struggle for me. I love doing things and working on things, things are always running in my head. I’m trying to work on it now, cutting out tasks and ideas. I heard in a video online someone say: “One God idea is better than 1000 good ideas.” Helped me realize, I probably shouldn’t be going after every single idea I get.
Great reminders in this post.
Love this post. I’ve never thought about it this way, but it makes complete sense. Thank you for always helping me to think of things in a different way.
The past year we moved, changed regions of the US, careers and churches….moving to the city has meant a faster pace..and I miss the quiet of living we had in a small, not too much to be into country township…..there is value in not rushing…value in taking in the work before you, doing it by hand…and in hand with those you love.
Great post!
What a fantastic post. I know exactly what you’re talking about and I’m working on it in my life.
Yes! I am the exact same way. I try over and over again to create work hours, because as anyone who works from home knows it can morph into a 24 hour job before you know it. It’s almost impossible for me to spend time with friends or loved ones because I know I could be spending that time working—I’m always thinking about it. It’s tough—but I try not to be too hard on myself and know that I’m at least working towards a better life.
thank you. i don’t feel like a crazy lady after reading this
it’s nice to hear someone knows.
Yes, it’s part of the reason why I laid aside my book. I realized this: I have my whole life to write that book. Why am I acting like it needs to get done NOW?! It doesn’t. I’m loving things so much more now! YAY!
Great post and so true.
Yes and yes to your questions. During seasons in my life I was totally distracted from my husband and three boys because I was doing too many other things.
I’m amazed when I see all that some moms with young children do – work/blog/write/crafts/volunteer/etc. My boys are teens and young adults now, so their needs are different. They still need me and I’m involved in their world – but not as much as before. And I still don’t get my blog updated daily or even every other day … but I’m okay with that, I have an offline world I like to be fully engaged in.
My belief is that we can have/do it all … but not all at the same time
I couldn’t have expressed how I have been feeling better than this!
Thank you for this post. It’s so hard sometimes for me to feel like I am giving my full attention to things at times. Even when I am enjoying my children, my mind is on something else and I guess I am not enjoying them like I should be. I have far too many distractions in my life. I think I need to take some serious inventory.
Sarah, this is wonderful! That at your young age you have come to such a realization is fantastic!
I’m a “Mimi” now but I lived most of my mothering days just like what you are describing (with out the computer and iPhone of course) but you know what I mean.
I was so busy being the dutiful wife and home school mom, the Sunday school teacher, the Preschool Choir leader, the Adult Choir member, the everything to everybody, that I failed for most of those years to be in the moment, to see who and what was right in front of my face.
Sadly, I fell into sex addiction for several years. Then like Hosea and Gomer, God rescued me with the unconditional love of my husband. I was saved from the darkness to Real Life!
I’ve only recently started following your blog. I find your writing sweet, real and refreshing! Thanks!
Blessings!!!
Thanks for this posting.
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