Last week we had a lively discussion about criticism which turned into a banter about makeup and then about comment moderation. And at the end, it all stemmed back to who we are really.
Who are we really?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently. The REAL real me wears makeup. The REAL real me doesn’t feel like walking the dog today because she needs to be trained to walk without pulling off my arm. The REAL real me is tired of the computer.
The REAL real me is a churner, a processor…I take things in, think about them for a long time, then spit it back out with new understanding.
Right now the REAL real me is wearing blue toenail polish. The REAL real me can’t fit into her old jeans.
And that whole van thing? That WAS me. It wasn’t a projected me, or a soft-music-in-the-background me. It was goldfish crackers and can’t-get-in-my-seat-without-stepping-on-something me.
But none of that is important. Not really.
More important than the inside of my van or my purse, or the messiness of my bedroom is telling the truth.
I can tell you the truth right now and say that I’m slightly nervous about the three speaking engagements I have this spring.
I can be honest and say that I wonder if I’m being a good mother: Am I too lenient with discipline? Do I yell too much? Do I model enough trust and grace and forgiveness?
Truth: this weekend I just want to get away with my husband. We won’t, but I really want to. That’s the truth.
And last but not least, truth: I’m on a diet because I’ve gained about 20 pounds over the past couple years and that this is the first time in my life in the last decade I feel unmotivated to exercise.
Ouch. Sometimes the truth is hard to write. Or say.
Authenticity has less to do with what I look like and more to do with what I say and do. I could be wearing a Minnie Mouse outfit and talking to you behind a mask, but if what I’m saying and doing is honest, then that makes it real.
Think of all the people you know whose outside does not “match” their amazing inside.
[Lord, help me never to judge a person by their appearance.]
Truth telling brings the freedom it does because it frees up a person to be authentic with others. If you can be honest with someone, if you can be free to disagree and to risk making someone mad at you, that is real, genuine, authenticity.
In the spirit of keeping the integrity of this blog and in the spirit of REALNESS, here’s me without makeup. Enjoy.
What do you think? Does telling the truth really reveal who you are?
Yes, telling the truth does reveal who I really am.
It’s better to reveal truth myself than to be exposed by the truth.
smooches,
Larie
Firstly: You’re beautiful with or without makeup – in fact I can barely see the difference between the two videos, your makeup application is so natural you wouldn’t know you had it on – at least I couldn’t tell.
Secondly: Yes telling the truth does reveal who a person really is, but bot everyone wants to know the truth…e.g when someone enquires how you are and if you’re having a really crappy day, do you say that or do you just say “good”…cos if you tell the truth of what you think/feel they might get uncomfortable if they’re just asking for the sake of conversation.
Sarah,
you are able to be authentic in an endearing way. That is what “Being Real” is all about…drawing us in. It leaves barriers of false pretenses behind so we can accept the invitation of “knowing” one another.
thanks for just being you!
I love the way you wrote this! Particularly this statement you wrote:
“Think of all the people you know whose outside does not “match” their amazing inside.”
I’ve seen a lot of the “not matching.”
With me, I am totally transparent and real! I’m a “real” loving, positive, person and consequently some people can’t accept this because they have sooo much negativity. It’s just me, and truthfully it’s not hard at all to be positive, because I don’t think peeps like to be around negative! It’s a habit that began in me several years ago. My hubby and kids ALWAYS compliment me and I have a strong need for that!
I love your blog because you are honest — thank you for that~
You are beautiful with or without make-up!! Thanks for always keeping it real! Love your wisdom….always will impact my day!
Sarah,
This post was good for me. I have a niece touched by Treacher Collins. Right now, she is going through an extensive series of cosmetic surgeries. That series is an effort to give her ears. She was born without ears. She has a treach (spelling?) and feeding tube. Her wish has always been to have beautiful ears like her big sis. Tomorrow, she will have another skin graph done in an effort to save the second ear implant. It’s not taking as well as the first and the doctors are struggling to make it work.
Last week, my sister explained to her that this might not work and my Beautiful niece said … “it’s ok, because I have one pretty ear. If God wants me like this, than I’m ok with that.”
I guess what I’m getting at is … most people view my niece from her outward appearance. They don’t understand special needs and they don’t know how to handle it. They don’t see her “amazing inside”.
If we all look hard enough … long enough at each other, we’ll see God’s fingerprints. And, that’s what makes each of us beautiful in our very own special way.
Hope you have a great day,
Aine
this is beautiful. lump in my throat. Aine, i will be praying for your niece today.
beauty is so different than the world tells us, isn’t it?
Thank you for praying for my niece. She is such a little trooper. You are so right … the world tells us so many lies.
I have been following your blog for about 8 mths now. I have identified myself through your blog more times then I care to admit.
I need to be “real” about myself. Sometimes I wear many mask to appease those around me. God is doing a work in me. It may be a lot slower then what I want, but God is definately doing a work in me and this is on my list and hopefully his of things that needs to change in my life.
I appreciate you being real and the video of your grocery getter looks exactly like my grocery getter! (minivan) Its my affectionate name for it.
Don’t give a second thought to those who challenge you to be real with or without makeup. Sometime they live behind there own fear and want to pinpoint things in your life rather then trying to fix what is wrong in there own. I am encouraged everyday by your writings and I thank you for sharing your trials and the good things of life with us.
~Sarah~
P.S. Music is the universal language and I LOVE music in videos!
I have followed your blog for a long time. You are a beautiful person. You strip yourself bare with your writing. To be honest, I could care less if you wear makeup or not. I come here for the words that help *me* become a better person. As a makeup wearer , I know that wasn’t easy for you to do . I just have to say …dang, I wish I looked that good without makeup!
so true, sarah. i think we all long for authenticity, but on some level it scares us. truth does bring freedom. right on about that. right on.
sarah – you are beautiful inside and out…with or without makeup!
well, i certainly dont believe you needed to write this post. the people who visit here often, who know you…already know you are sincere, authentic, willing to be vulnerable.
there will still be those who even question this post. and to them i say…look inward…cuz there are some real problems lying there.
sarah – i love you. thank you for inspiring us.
I think that almost none of us even know this. Who is the real me…the me that I am in Christ…the me that God sees, for He knows my faults and imperfections that I sometimes try to hide, but He also sees the gifts and callings and promise and authority that He’s placed inside of me and in my future. He sees me for who I will be in heaven, when I go through that final glorious change. And THAT is the REAL, real, real me!
you are so right! you take what i said and take it one step further. the real us is far in the future, isn’t it! =)
thank you for your insight.
just saw this on twitter. thought it was sorta fitting for those who had a problem on the last post.
“Because we want glory for ourselves, we seek to find fault in others… John Frame in Deep Church”
wow, tam. that is really good. thank you for being a real friend. =)
I need to write that quote down…so I make sure I don’t fall into it. Wow!
Ohhh that’s brilliant!
I love that quote as well! Thank you for sharing that with us!
I love that you are so real. You could have been hateful or had an attitute of ungraciousness (sp?) presenting yourself “Bare” (which you totally didn’t have to do) yet you are you loving and gracious and genuine. That totally speaks to authenticity and transparency, which was the whole point of the exercise to begin with. You totally exhibited the radical grace that People of The Second Chance is all about. God Bless you as you serve Him, sweet sister.
wow, again…
while i’ve been in bed fighting pneumonia the past few days (in one of my more lucid moments) i began to see how i need to not only see myself as Jesus sees me…but i also need to see others as Jesus sees them….
as Jesus sees us is the REAL us…
as Jesus sees others is the REAL them, too.
maybe that’s just a part of “having the mind of Christ”…
love you,
dad
sarah markley, i love reading your blog every morning
I enjoy your blog so much! More so I enjoy you! You are real! I think you are a beautiful person–make-up or not! Thanks for being real!
Authenticity stirs the waters….. I love it
ooh, i love that!!
being real is way more about the bare-naked exposure of your heart than it is about not wearing makeup on your face. and you do both beautifully.
i’ve always been inspired and challenged by your authenticity and genuine realness. the you i know “in person” matches the you i’ve gotten to know on here. THAT is being real.
i love real you.
thank you alece. i love you, real you too. even with busted teeth.
There’s a verse in the Bible (that I’m not gonna look up right now) that talks about what Katie said. Paraphrased it says that now we see in part but in the future, with Jesus’ return, we will see clearly, fully. I appreciate your desire to be genuine and “real” with all of us who read your blog and I thought your video was cute. But, the truth is that the only time we’re the real us is when we’re in unity with God. Thanks for your honest & refreshing perspective, reminding us that it’s the character and truth of a person that counts…not the outside.
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
To me, the most important part of truth-telling is acknowledging imperfection. Our only perfection comes in grace…
Besides, people don’t relate to perfection…the relate to pain, imperfection and quirkiness. How can we build each other up if we build walls of perfection around us…
Truth-telling all the way…go girl.
that’s right, dawn. why not share it? seriously, what do i have to lose? people think i’m ugly? i’d rather that than people think i’m heartless or bitter.
and grace. thanking god for grace every day.
The real me would like to punch Christians in the face when they’re jerks.
(I need Jesus.)
ha!! and that is authentic, friend. =)
Honestly Sarah…you look the same!! You are a beautiful woman and makeup may enhance that beauty but it doesn’t change the way you look.
Cling to who you are in Christ and let the other stuff bounce off!!
Keep doing what you’re doing because you are such a blessing!
And Sarah I needed to hear this today. I needed someone to tell me to continue to be real, and live my life with integrity. I am facing a toughy decision and I am choosing to let God be my defense. Today your message to me was that the real me is enough. To continue on. Thank you dear one.
praying your decision is made with wisdom and guidance…
I love your video this morning! You are SO sweet.
Amen, Sarah–your beautiful with or without makeup-it’s your heart
We need more people that are willing to be real, share the truth in gentleness and love, and share as you’ve done the honest struggles. Thank you for your words, encouragement, and how you allow the spirit to move you. Blessings and prayers to you and your family.
Sarah, I just had to hop over from my Reader for this one.
I’m the sort of person who tends to just be me, because I don’t know how to be anything else… and sometimes my motives are questioned even in spite of my transparency.
I wonder sometimes… do we (esp. ladies) always need to be suspicious of each other? Is there a reason we can’t seem to take each other at face value? Is the world THAT bad that we just cannot feel comfortable trusting? I’ve answered “no” to those questions and – on occasion – have experienced pain beyond measure… but if you ask me now, I’d still say “no”, because the freedom to love, to laugh, to live is soooo worth it!
Whatever you do, there will always be naysayers in the ‘penny section’… I admire your courage and your ’stick-to-it-iveness’
Keep blazing that trail to the glory of your Master, my sister.
{{HUGS}}
WHAT??? i was waiting for you put on the Minnie Mouse costume.
And… btw… you’re gorgeous with AND without makeup.
Yes, telling truth does reveal who you are, but only if you let it.
I’m someone that can tell the truth, be friendly, but hold back a part of myself from friendships. It takes me months or even years to truly open up my heart. Only a few people in my life truly and completly know who I am.
When I first meet someone I come across as quiet and shy. People find it hard to believe that this same girl got an “A” in speech class and performed in many a musical throughout high school. They find it hard to put so two very different personalities together. But they’re me.
I’m not sure why I hold back. Perhaps I’m afraid to truly give people my heart. Perhaps I’m afraid what people will think if they know the true me.
What I do know is that the times I’ve stepped out on a limb and truly shared my heart with someone, I’ve been blessed so much in return.
God has given me some wonderful relationships because I stepped out of my comfort zone, however hard that might have been.
Your blog is really like a warm hot chocolate on a cool night. Tonight I was working on a post that was on my mind, but not stirring my heart. So I sat down to think about what was stirring my heart, or what was the “Real Me” tonight. It felt so good to choose that. (Then I read your blog and knew I had made the right choice:)
By the way, you looked amazing at Blissdom!! I know we each have our personal goals and what makes us feel comfortable, but I thought you looked fabulous!
This was such an awesome post Sarah and very timely too. Something God has been speaking to me about in so many ways! By the way you are beautiful with or without make-up–not that that matters like you said, but you are and that’s the truth!
Thanks so much for being real! And yes telling the truth says a lot about who we are and where we are. Something I am struggling with. It is harder to tell the truth than to hear the truth!
Sarah ,you are beautiful inside and out ,with or without makeup and well done on your blog.I know if you are used to wearing makeup it takes a lot of courage to appear without it ,so well done.God bless.
hey love this.. love being real. it is my life.. how we grow and we encourage others to grow!
love it.
Woo Hoo! Great video!
Thanks for being real… The real me is a make-up wearing girl too. Not trying to hide anything. I just like myself better that way.
Kinda like a person who keeps their bedroom clean and makes their bed everyday even when no one is coming over…just because that’s how they like it.
[...] February 25, 2010 “Authenticity has less to do with what I look like and more to do with what I say and do.” -Sarah [...]
Thanks for sharing, Sarah but make up or no make up, I’m thankful for your blog as I’ve shared with you.
P.S. I love music on the videos people make. My friend Suz is really good at that: http://www.emphasisallmine.com/emphasismine/my_videos_vlogs_and_podcasts/ I don’t make videos because I don’t even like my photos so I’d hate watching a video of myself.
You. Are. Beautiful.