The Beauty of Redemption Shines Brighter on a Dark Canvas
In my recent memoir, Thin Places I share in first person present tense my journey of healing, finding God in the thin places, where his presence comes near in my personal darkness. I write starkly about sexual abuse, neglect, an unsafe home, and the ensuing dysfunction this caused in my life. I don’t share to titillate or sensationalize; I give it as it is to highlight one thing: God’s wild redemption is the point of it all. And as it is in all great stories, redemption shines all the brighter on a dark canvas.
Maybe we don’t see true beauty because we’re so busy hiding our dark parts, ashamed. Maybe we’re not exuding the beauty of Jesus because we haven’t let Him into those locked closets of our lives. Maybe we love control more. Maybe we fear the exposure that comes from laying it all out there, highlighting our vulnerabilities and insecurities.
But I’m here to say this: Forsake your fear.
Dare to tell the truth. Dare to share the darkness. Dare to be real about your emptiness, neediness, woundings.
Maybe not to the whole wide world at first, but pour your words at the scarred feet of the One who understands. Why would I say such a thing? Because I’ve seen Jesus beautify the desolate places. Where I used to see my devastation as a negative thing to be pushed against, I now see it as a tragic, but beautiful gift. Because my neediness, coupled with the darkness of sin (of others toward me, me toward others), propelled me into the arms of Jesus. My past, instead of being a detriment, is now a dance floor where He waltzes His grace.
When boys stole my body, my innocence, while I begged the sky for deliverance, I learned others wouldn’t protect me. When my home life swirled around me with drugs and parties and fear, I realized my own vulnerability. When my hero, my father, died, I learned I couldn’t control life or death. When I crashed into a heap of tears meeting Jesus at fifteen, it was this need for a genuine hero-savior that made everything make sense. And since then, He has taken the broken parts of me, the weak parts, and healed me. Psalm 149:4 says, “For the LORD takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation.” I was afflicted. He brought salvation. He beautified me.
Please don’t think I’ve manufactured my piety. Or created any beauty. It’s Jesus. Just Jesus. He took the darkness, the pain, the anguish, and brushed a giant stroke of light across me, marking me in the best possible way. That way when others point, they won’t see my adequacy; they’ll see His. I’m thankful today for the dark canvas because it highlights His agonizing and surprising redemption.
That’s the paradoxical beauty of brokenness. That’s why this verse touches me: 1 Corinthians 1:26-29. “For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God.”
It’s my weakness, my despised state in the past that highlights God’s ability to take broken girls like me and create a beautiful life.
Mary DeMuth uses her painful childhood experiences to paint a grace- and hope-filled picture of her life in her most recent release, her memoir entitled Thin Places (2010). Mary is the author of novels such as Daisy Chain (2009) and Watching the Tree Limbs (2007) and has also authored parenting books including Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture and Building the Christian Family You Never Had. She believes in the power of story and her deepest dream is to see stories, hers and others, change lives.
You can see a list of her books and purchase them here.
Follow Mary on twitter here.
Buy Thin Places here.
Read my review of Thin Places here.
Visit her websites: MaryDeMuth.com, the MyFamilySecrets blog, and the WannaBePublished blog
Wow. Powerful words, powerful images, and a powerful testimony! I love the picture of contrasting a dark canvas with His light. Thank you for reminding me to turn to Him for my beauty; to acknowledge Him as the one who makes me beautiful in His image. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. In my weakness He is great and makes beauty. I’m going to marinate in that today!
Beautiful Brokenness. I use that all the time! Christ is the ultimate picture of that phrase. Thanks for sharing Sarah!
It’s been a pleasure to host some of my favorite writers this week. =)
I love this. There is so much I can identify with in your words but this final thought “It’s my weakness, my despised state in the past that highlights God’s ability to take broken girls like me and create a beautiful life.” sums it all up.
Thanks for your sweet words, Stacey.
I agree, Mary.
Thanks, Sarah, for letting me vent my soul here.
oh, it’s absolutely my honor. thank you for being so candid and open. it’s such a breath of fresh air.
and i think that’s what all of this life on earth is about. you’ve touched on the central theme of God’s story: that he redeems darkness and creates beauty from what seems like no beauty can come.
he did it in the garden. he did it on the cross. and he does it with each of us who allow him.
thank you for sharing your heart with us!
Amazing! I am so encouraged everytime I read from you girls at InCourage. Thank you Mary for the reminder that God makes beauty from ashes. This post has really touched my spirit in a very powerful way. Thank you Sara for allowing these amazing women to share their thoughts on true beauty.
Thanks Kristine. I so appreciate your words.
Tammie, I’m glad the post blessed you.
What an amazing testimony. I love how Jesus shone His glorious light in darkness and revealed His beauty in you. I love that you dance with Him now.
Thanks Linda. I love dancing with Him!
Thank you, Mary…beautiful truth. Dancing in God’s grace has been a theme of my own journey lately.
Your writing brought to mind the woman in the Song of Solomon…”Dark am I,…Dark, yet lovely”.
Beautiful.
“I’m thankful today for the dark canvas because it highlights His agonizing and surprising redemption.”
Now THAT is beautiful.
And it is where I want to be.
Thank you.
I can’t wait to read more of your story Mary.
And thanks Sarah – for using your blog as a conduit to expose so many to such beauty in unexpected places.
My problem with this is that I worry people will tire of hearing my dark places. I don’t want to mire them down in my muck. I then tend to gloss it over, make less of it, so they don’t feel uncomfortable or annoyed. I want to be transparent and open, but I don’t want people to turn away from me because of it. Any suggestions on finding balance in this?
It’s hard to do that. For years I overdisclosed. Then for years I shared nothing. Now I share strategically, when doors open.
Sarah, thanks for letting me read about Mary through your blog.
Mary, thank you for sharing and I hope to read about your journey, sooner rather than later.
I love the imagery of the dark canvas… I think many of us can relate.
Bless you, Mary. Thanks for sharing! You show us beauty in your honesty!
beautiful.
my most recent post is titled “crazy. wonderful.” it speaks of how God redeems the crazy and gives me the ability to see wonderful in it.
and it is only God that can do this-make beauty from ashes.
i love this poignant reminder that God can redeem even this. that He is making me, in all my brokenness, more beautiful than i can imagine. thank you, mary!
You have one of the most beautiful hearts of woman that I have ever been exposed to alece. I don’t have a blog of my own but I read your blog every day and I am beyond blessed by your heart for God and by His work in you.
i am so blown away by your words, heidi. and your heart for me. thank you!
‘dare to tell the truth…..to share the darkness….to be real.’
He honors all of that.
all of it.
and i’m so thankful.
I’m so thankful too. So so thankful.
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Thanks again for letting me be part of this amazing blog community! You have truly circled great women around yourself. Wow.
you are welcome. they are great, aren’t they? =)