Thursday April 29th, 2010
Watch, because there is a quiz at the end…
{For those of you who read in readers, click here to view video.}
I live in Southern California with my husband and my two girls. You can email me at sarah at sarahmarkley dot com. To read more, click here
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- Sarah Markley on The Girl Who Didn’t Show Up
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Ok… So fear has stopped me from doing a lot in my life. I want to go to law school but I’m scared that I can afford it. I want to travel more but I’m afraid to leave my friends (I went to China but that was a God thing so I had no fear). I’d like to move away, but again I’m afraid to move away from those I love. A lot of my fear is from the enemy and I know that. I have allowed him to tell me that God will stop loving or blessing me if I move without knowing 100% that it is Him. In reality, if I move in a direction I believe God is moving me, and I’m wrong, He will lovingly correct me.
So I’m going to stop being afraid. I’m going to stop allowing the enemy to tell me I’m not good enough, that God won’t still love me.
Thank you for this post, Sarah!
i hear you sister.
i feel like i’ve lived my entire life like this and i don’t want to pass it down to my kids.
you go!! do what you feel God is calling you to do and laugh in the face of fear!
we believe in you!
It’s so good to know that I am not alone in my quest to live a fear free life.
I have always been the outgoing girl, the one who makes everyone laugh. I was a firefighter and EMT, I also ran my own photography business. Last April I started to feel a little edgy to the point where I would start sweating ang feeling like I was going to pass out everytime I had to be with anyone. I went to the Dr. and he diagnosed me with anxiety. Me? Anxiety? No Im sorry you must have the wrong person. I am outgoing and love to be around people, to help people. However it got worse and worse. I eventually had to quit most of what I was doing and become a full time Mom.
I was afraid to go anywhere. I even quit driving because I was so scared that I was going to hurt someone. The Dr. had given me pills that I took for one week and decided I cant live life on a pill and I quit. I decided I was going to fight this with God and I will make it. I started waking up each day saying, “Thank you Lord for this beautiful day and thank you for your healing”. I started speaking outloud the verse that the Lord has not given me a spirit of fear… everytime I felt afraid.
It took some time, but here it is a year later and I am driving, I am getting back to little things here and there. Do I still feel afraid? Absolutely, but by God’s grace I am healed and I am learning that God has so much in store for my life and I am living a great story! It may not be all the glitz or glam or being a hero or anything like that, but a simple great story!
Thank yoou for being so open and honest with us. I am finding that you and I have more in common than I would have ever imagined. You are living a great story Sarah!
~Sarah~
this is beautiful. thank you so much for sharing this with us.
You did a great job…
I do think it’s interesting that you titled your video about being a failure because even that hints at fear…and yet, you did it!
I think something I want to say about fear is this: sometimes it’s necessary because it’s this natural mechanism that tells us something is wrong.
As for me, what helped me get through some of my fears (not all of them) was this realization in my soul that I didn’t have to be perfect, that I could make mistakes, and it would be okay. I could trust myself, trust my gut. (I also was in therapy when I came to these realizations…)
I think walking through the fear, makes the other side all the sweeter.
i think this is a great way to think. that it’s alright to make mistakes. thank you for reminding us.
you are great on video
)
this made me cry…. because so many of the statements you made could have come from me.
i let fear hold me back from being real/vulnerable. i fear that if people see the real me they may not like me or may judge me from past choices.
i know fear has caused me to say yes when i should have said no, it has caused me to say no when i should have said yes, it has caused me to not be obedient to God’s prodding, and it has caused me to not live the good life.
i need to be more present in my own life, for my family.
i loved this! i ordered the book… it will be here by the weekend. i can’t wait to start reading.
thanks kristen! i can’t wait to see you in a few weeks.
so much to do before then….
It’s so interesting that you’ve been talking about this the past couple days because fear is something I’ve been dealing with in my own life as well, and Donald Miller has been ‘walking me through it’.
(blogged here: http://hopeglenn.tumblr.com/post/539109565/fear?ref=nf)
I’m actually headed for a job interview today that I was afraid to take because it would push me out of my comfort zone. Who knows how it will turn out, but I’m excited (and terrified!) to try.
Like you and many of the commenters here I have missed out on plenty due to fear. The area I regret most is not going to college. Fear led me to believe I wouldn’t be great at it so I just didn’t.
I plan to take a summer class.
Thanks again for your soul searching questions. I really do appreciate your honesty.
Awesome video blog – you are so sweet! thanks for sharing your heart – I love the way you relate even through the video; so real!
I am so glad you are on this journey…I want to be on this journey as well but I am afraid of what changes may need to take place – HA!
Fear of what others think of me and how they perceive me has kept me back from so many relationships I could have had. Fear of failure and of not being the “best” at whatever I was doing, has kept me from doing things I liked because I wasn’t as good as others when doing it. (which is also rooted in pride).
There are also many things that I have done despite my fear. I have stood up in front of tons of people and sang by myself and with my sister from a young age for different things. I was always afraid (although my sister loved it). Fear kept me from enjoying those experiences to the fullest, but looking back, those are the experiences I don’t have regret over. Even if fear kept me from enjoying it fully, at least it didn’t stop me from actually doing those things and those are some of my best memories from growing up.
I think what is going to help me overcome my fear (and what has helped in the past) is when I focus on a root issue of my fear…Pride. What others think of ME, if I am the best, how will that affect ME, etc… I think as I seek God about the hidden area of pride in my heart and my identity in Him, I will begin to care more and more about what He thinks and less of what others do. Hopefully!
First Sarah, I just have to say “You are cute as a button”.
Now… FEAR!
Yikes!
Well, recently God has asked me to overcome my fear by putting my heart out here in cyber world. I’ve always been a journaler (is that even a correct term?), but for me to bust out of the covers and allow others to see my vulnerability has been a blessing.
I am not held by that fear anymore.
It has truly been a journey full of God’s blessing!
Likewise, this fear held me back from being real, raw, and authentic.
I’m embracing this challenge of releasing fear, and walking in obedience.
Letting Fear Go,
~Manda
Wow. good vlog today!
I would have to say that fear has stopped me from doing what really God has called me to do. God has called me to uproot my life that I have here, in Seattle and move across the world. Have I? no. I’m too scared like, Jen to leave the ones that I love so dearly here. My ‘whole’ life is here. Can’t imagine ever leaving. I let my human nature take over, and run my ‘oh so great’ comfortable life here in the states. I’m not sure where I’m at in changing this, but I know that I want to.
The Lord who created you says: “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.”
Isaiah 43:1-2 That’s just some encouragement for you. God calls you by name, Sarah, and you will face this challenge with the same honesty and humble, loving, joyful spirit that you’ve faced all the other challenges you’ve been through! Excited to read what you write about facing your fears, we all have our own fears, and it is encouraging to know we are not the only ones dealing with this!
Hi Sarah!
For some reason the video is not getting past the first couple of sentences for me… no matter where I view it…. not sure why.
In the past couple of months I have been doing what I can to live in the here and now. Every month I do 1 thing that I’ve always wanted to do but allowed fear to hold me back. Things I’ve always said I would do but for whatever reason didn’t, I am now doing them. That’s all you have to do. Just do it! In February I went to my first concert by myself to see John Mayer. At first I was nervous because I was going by myself but I did it and I had an absolute BLAST! So much so that I’m going to another concert in May by myself to see Carrie Underwood. I’ve booked my first girls getaway and guess where I’m going…to Califonia! I can’t wait. These are things I’ve always wanted to do and now I’m finally doing them. The sky is the limit. He has put dreams and desires in your heart for a reason, to impact this world and to leave a mark and to truly enjoy your life. We only get one chance at this life here on earth, make it one that counts
Btw, love your video! You are so beautiful both inside and out
This is really hitting home for me. I’ve been realizing recently that fear holds me back from life and I don’t want fear to be my story either. I’m fearful of a lot – from the small to the big. I’m afraid to walk the dog because I’m afraid someone will attack or kidnap me. I’m afraid to be out in the yard because I’m afraid of bugs – being stung or them crawling on me. (It sounds irrational I know. I’ve only told a few people because I know how crazy it sounds, but its true.) I’m afraid to let go and have a good time because I’m afraid I’ll be judged by others. I’m afraid to make a leap to change careers because I’m fearful of the unknown.
Those that know me don’t know all this – I have a successful career, a loving husband and good friends. I keep it tightly under wraps but I live in constant crippling fear and don’t want to any more. I admire those who are living a fear-free life and living life to the fullest, I really do. And I want that for myself. I want to live a good story.
Your post is perfect for me right now and it helps to know others struggle with fear and makes me want to push past it and get to the other side of the mountain. I’m working on baby steps. Thank you for your honesty and sharing what’s on your heart. It is just what I needed today
Sarah,
We have so much in common in so many ways. About 6 years ago I ended up trying to overcome the pain in my marriage by getting into an afair with a coworker. I filed for divorce and in all the worlds view my marriage was hopeless. Fear is one of th emost paralyzing things I know and it is has caused many wrong decisions in my life. Including the fear of being alone.
I have given much thought over your questions and wouldn’t have the time or space to list all the ways fear has incapicated me but I can answer your question concerning how I have eradicated it.
I haven’t
I don’t believe I will ever reach a place where fear will be gone, instead I believe I can transcend it. I believe I can take my fear to Jesus and he becomes my strength, He gives me the faith to walk on water when I fear. Its being bathed in God’s love when I fear. ( Perfect love casteth out fear)I am not on a journey to eradicate my fear I am on a journey to discover fully His love for me and as I do,fear becomes powerless in my life.
I love your blog Sarah, I love your heart, I intentify with you on many levels. Thank you for sharing your story and putting your heart out there, I understand how there are those who would try to deter you. I believe in you and the message of Jesus’s love and hope you share.
I loved this Sarah
You are so yourself on camera:) hehe! Very inspiring.
Eeeeekkk!!!
Fear has unfortunately kept me back too…and just when I think “I have finally conquered it!” God gives me another tough challenge to tackle. So I don’t know if we ever really overcome fear, but when we live an “uncomfortable” life facing our fears everyday becomes a regular and normal thing!
I have always told myself, “to do the thing I am most afriad of…” And so far… I am wishing I never said that
oh, that’s a good one. do the thing you are most afraid of.
but how freeing that is, right?
Just a note about your reply on my message… “do the thing your most afraid of” nearly shocked me when it came out of my mouth- I said it in a chapel full of hundreds of people in university after I had just gotten back from my first missions trips overseas.
God has helped me everyday (well nearly everyday) to live this out. In saying this I am slowly beginning to realize that the power of what I actually said, or rather what God spoke through me.
Everyday we have a choice- FEAR or FAITH. I can’t say that I always pick faith. But this little saying of “do the thing you are most afraid of…” has helped keep my heart soft and always aware when fear is trying to weasel its way into my life.
But the first step in conquering fear is facing it by faith!!
So go for it Sarah! Whatever God is is brewing in your heart- step out and put your feet in the water
Really appreciated this, Sarah. The Lord has been speaking to me in the same ways. I keep an index card on my desk and try to meditate and memorize scriptures. Right now I have the following verses (on fear) 2 Tim 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. I John 4:18 There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. His Word is so rich.
Sarah, you are so super cute!
Great vlog! That’s definitely one thing that fear has held me back from – vlogging! Lol Seriously though, fear is keeping me from pursuing “Brokenness into Beauty” the way that I feel the Lord would have me to do. I am afraid to open old wounds. I am afraid to bare our faults and failures for the rest of the world. I am afraid of the potential disappointment others will have in me when they know the whole truth. I would appreciate your prayers and really wish you were closer so we could meet up for coffee one day!! 
=] perfect Love casts out fear.
Sarah,
Great question! Fear has kept me back a lot. I think I began to look fear in the eye and step out in faith anyway when I was nearly 40.
Since then, we overcame multiple fears in order to adopt a little girl. As it happened, almost all of our initial fears, and many we could never have imagined came to pass. Even so, we have been up-close witnesses to God’s amazing faithfulness and power. It’s not easy, but the view from here is spectacular.
May I suggest a book for you? If you get a chance, read “Just Courage” by Gary Haugen (from International Justice Mission). I’ve read it 3 times. It speaks to the need of Christians to become brave, instead of safe. Very inspiring.
In Christ,
Julie
Sarah,thank you for being so brave and video blogging! You did great!
What do I do to overcome fear? It helps me to act on what God has spoken to me rather quickly, instead of thinking too long and imagining all the things that could go wrong and ways that I will fail.
What has fear kept me from doing? Living for Him, sadly. Fear makes me want to hide all my faults and brokeness, instead of letting others see Him through it all.
God bless you! deb
Loved this post Sarah.
I have SO been on the same journey.
Facing fear, allowing God to challenge me and show me just where I have allowed fear to control me.
Changing my way of thinking.
I don’t want to live just an ordinary life. With every part of me I so long to live an amazing story- for Him.
I think my biggest fear is the fear of settling… for less that God has for me.
In these crazy days of raising little ones I can’t help but feel like I want more. Finding the balance between caring for my family and figuring out “what I’m suppose to do” is challenging.
I wish I could just see the bigger picture, but sometimes I think it’s when I’m the most afraid that I draw near to the one who knows my story, who sees the big picture.
And I know that’s ultimately what He desires. Relationship. Intimacy….the rest will happen naturally as I learn to fear Him.
thanks sara. you sound like me – but i keep reminding myself that everything is just a stage, right? nothing here on earth will really last forever.
our kids will get big and independent soon enough. =(
I’ve heard so many times there are 365 verses in the bible that address fear. God knows what we struggle with.
Fear keeps me from making friends at times. Opening myself up to others (and disappointment) is a scary thing. I let fear keep me from sewing. Something I love to do. But perfectionism plus procrastination do not allow for much wiggle room. I finally pushed that fear aside and began to sew again after about 8 years. Now to fight the fear of failure and open an Etsy shop or something of that nature.
Thanks for being so open and sharing your heart with us. The Lord will bless you for using your tool of ministry – writing.
My fear? I am leaving my church, the one I have attended with my family for my entire life. And I am afraid of how others will feel about it/perceive it(even though I know that is so not the important thing). I am afraid to embrace something that I have been resisting for the past seven years of my life – a different faith. And I know that I am going to be flailing my arms to stay afloat through my journey in a new faith community. And I don’t like uncertainty. What I am certain of is that it will, in the end, be the best decision I will ever make, but am still terrified of taking the big step into that church I’ve never actually stepped foot in, yet feel so called to.
How do I deal? I put my trust in God, give it to Him, let Him call the shots. I have totally given up trying to be the director of my very unimportant story. Time to let go and let God. For real.
Do it!!! It took me three years to finally jump into a church that was different from the one I grew up in, and I ended up in one of the best places ever. My only regret is that I waited so long.
Fear has kept me from writing, because I’m afraid it will never go anywhere. But then, I realized that my chances of going nowhere are greater if I don’t write. So, I’m going to wade in.
More importantly though, fear has kept me from asking God what He wants to do with my life. I’m just afraid to hear the answer. What if I don’t like it? But, yesterday I finally prayed that my will would be in sync with His.
even if it doesn’t go anywhere you should WRITE because you can. let God worry about the purpose later.
First off, completely irrevelant – I kept hearing your tweetdeck chirping – I thought it was my tweetdeck at first, but I didn’t have it open, so then I thought I was hearing things in my mind. Finally I figured out it was your computer! Irrelveant, I know, but it struck me as funny.
Fear. What a word. There is a lot that fear has kept me from doing. One specific thing I know God wants me to do, and fear has been holding me back. I’m slowly getting past it, but my mind is still reeling through all the logistics of doing this project. My biggest thought is what if I succeed? It would drastically change my life – which wouldn’t be bad. So why am I so scared? I guess, like you, I’m comfortable. Even though I’m not where I want to be, it’s comfortable.
yeah, i noticed that later, but it really was my 14th take so i wasn’t about to go back and fix it. =)
Donald Miller’s book did the same with me. I realized I didn’t like the story I was living and I desperately wanted a new one. Fear is so powerful isn’t it. It has kept me from so many things, being a little older than you I think my life would have been different if I hadn’t let fear rule. But God is good and I am trying to life live more and I am excited to see what God does. I have had fear on writing and tomorrow I am going to a writers conference as one of my steps for overcoming fear and the lies it brings us.
Thank you for sharing Sarah. Look forward to seeing where God takes you!
So everything comes from a Seed.
Worry is a seed to fear.
Fear is a seed to doubt.
Doubt is a seed to confusion.
Confusion…well, can make you go nuts…Been there!
Time to plant a new seed!
Love, Joy & Kindness…great place to start growing a garden!
i love this. thank you so much for sharing it. =)
Love seeing your face on this video. You look so much like Hope.
Um, I am so in the center of this struggle right now.
Fear has stopped me from having conversations, creating change, finding my purpose.
I love that Donald Miller’s book “is wrecking you” (sorry, that sounds mean), it wrecked me too. And I couldn’t even identify in the same way as you would about being a writer and writing stories instead of living them.
Good stuff. I have had the opposite 12 months from you…I haven’t been writing as much this year, but I have been DOING so much more! Now I’m ready to get back to writing. I will take this as a reminder to keep the DOING as I get back into WRITING about the doing as well.
I don’t have any good answers to your questions – but I can say that I was scared to death of going to Boston. Ok. And. Well. I think fear may keep me from singing in public. Absolutely hate it. Don’t enjoy it. I don’t like it at all. ugh.
But, here’s the part I want to say: I was just thinking about you today – driving down the road. Thinking about where you were a few years ago. And I’m so crazy proud of you.
My mind keeps going back to the convo before dinner – at Not Your Average Joe’s – where we all talked about your dream of writing. LOVED that conversation.
But you are so much more than that. You are a writer. And you’re right, it’s a tool. It’s a way to get the message out there. And you do it beautifully. Now that you’re making big changes and re-balancing things, I’m excited to see where this is all going.
Love y’all so much. Proud of you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone…
wow. thank you so much mandy.
i know. a lot has happened for both of us since then. i’m so glad that we are connected and can share in all of it, even if it’s from 3k miles away.
You are an incredible writer and I know God will richly bless you as you forge ahead. Fear is an incredible topic, and a serious problem, and is from the enemy!
The opposite of fear is Faith!
Faith in God, and knowing He is in control and He Loves Us. Our not knowing what can happen, or doubting can make us fearful. I know, I am a single mom of four, a domestic violence survivor, just now ended a 15 year court case against the abuser successfully with God’s guidance and on my own being my own attorney. Talk about Fear! God carried me and guided me the whole time. It was a little scary. Looking back and knowing that God is in control and seeing everything He has brought me through helps me daily. There are so many great scripture promises that are God Breathed on faith and fear. I stay in Faith, stand when that’s all I can do, and stay Tuned to God, and Pray, Pray, Pray, and know when that negative voice tries to speak fear to me, so don’t listen to the enemy that wants to keep us captive in fear. I am now working on a patent, and it’s a little scary too, but I know it’s what God wants me to do, and is in Control, will guide me and knowing He loves me gets me through every single day. You keep following your heart, stay close to God and doing what He tells you to will cast out all fear.
You are a blessing and thank you for sharing your heart.
God Richly Bless You and Yours, Always
Cherie
thank you cherie. =)
I overcome fear by taking the thought captive and replacing the thought with scripture. Daily task in some areas.
Fear has kept me from trusting fully. Unfortunately, I feel like everyone can/will let me down.