It was just me and my girls this weekend.
Birthday parties, a couple trips to the book store, a new book and some new music.
And lots of hugs, laughs and morning breath kisses.
Without another adult in the house, I’m left alone with my thoughts. There’s a lot of that because an 8 year old and a 4 year old, while amazing companions, are not the best recipients of my thoughts about the power of story or how the events of last week have affected my future.
Usually I process life by writing. I begin to write and by the end of whatever it is I’m writing I’ve had the ah-ha. It happens all the time which is why I usually don’t stress about deadlines. The inspiration will come, and when it does, the words are like water.
Sometimes I process life by talking. Maybe it’s a rich conversation with a new friend. Maybe it’s in the dark before closing my eyes after I’ve already turned on my side to sleep. Maybe it’s a phone call about something I’ve been avoiding.
But this weekend, I’ve been processing my life by thinking. It only happens once in awhile because I’m not alone that often.
I hate it when my husband is gone. I hate it.
But when he is, things happen to me. Good things. I stop talking and start listening. I pray more. I let my mind do more wondering {because, I’ve discovered, I’m a visionary}. I remember things that I’ve forgotten about.
So this weekend I’ve been processing something God did inside me on Thursday, some important words a friend spoke into my life, and the hole left in my heart by hugging a new friend goodbye before she left for the airport.
It just seems like I don’t have enough time to think about it all.
So because a mother can’t take a sabbatical or just get in her car and drive {trust me, sometimes I consider it} I sit outside on my hammock chair after the girls have gone to sleep. A mug of tea. A book in hand. Closing my eyes and the book and opening up my ears to the bigness that is God.
I wait and I listen. To my own thoughts and then to God {because He does talk in the silence}.
How do you “hear” yourself? How do you process thoughts that seem too big for you?
I make homemade Encouragement, Birthday, Get Well, Anniversary, Love-Bird (for Hubby only) Cards. To be specific, when our daughter got her Master’s Degree and accepted an amazing job (Directing Shakespeare Plays) which is a very demanding, stressful job, she wanted my Encouragement Cards. Every week, I FED EX her a card with writing how our lives entertwine. She is so encouraged! Then with my hubby I put a Love Bird card out on the counter. Both of them get so excited and cannot stop complimenting me. The “BIG” of everything I am involved (counseling abused women) does not seem so overwhelming. It’s been four years of “Yes, this is the answer for me not getting caught up in major stress factors!” I heart your blogs! Thanks!
Oh Sarah, I fell into this one…thank you for the refreshing thoughts and insight into your heart and really, the heart of the Lord for us. To just listen. To fall into His presence and let ourselves linger in it. He doesn’t leave, we leave. So we have to always go back to that place.
On thought life:
Thoughts that are too big or little need to go to the Lord. I pick them up by myself and make a god out of my problems or thoughts as I try to figure them out and find that I am worshipping them by giving them all of my attention. Only God deserves that attention. So when I finally realize this I give them to Him and my worship returns to its home, my Redeemer.
May we continue in this attitude no matter what the state of our day holds for us.
I love you
I don’t think I know exactly! But that’s where I find myself today…lots of thoughts that seem super sized. I think I need some quiet.
I think He speaks to me either in the quiet of the early morning hours when I have my cup of coffee and attempt to get through some bible reading. . .during my twenty minute drive to work (alone) when I’m listening to worship music. . .or right before I go to sleep in the stillness of the night–only sometimes I fall asleep quickly, exhausted by what that day had to offer, so I thank Him for knowing just what I needed at the right moment.
Seriously I got teary just reading this….
God is going to do big things with your story, Sarah. I don’t know how (thankfully you have Bianca for that
) but I know He is at work. I am looking forward (after this hectic travel season is over) to some time to process everything that is going on in my world and what I am supposed to be doing.
Sometimes its incredibly hard for me to just sit still and listen. With 3 kids and more activities then I care to participate in. I feel like I live in my grocery getter (minivan) and I am on the go all the time.
When the day is done and the kids are quiet I make it a point atleast once a week to go to “my” beach. It’s a locals only beach that most tourist do not know about and no one is ever there. I take my blanket and sit on the shoreline and watch the sunset. I talk to God about things in my life and then I listen.
I listen to the waves crash, the seagulls squawk, the beach grass rustle.
It’s the most beautiful sounds ever. I feel peace come over me, I feel refreshed and I know God hears me. I may never hear his voice, but I know he is there.
I think we all need the gentle reminder to stop and listen once in awhile. We might be surprised to hear what God has in store for us.
Thank you
~Sarah~
God doesn’t talk very often to me. But by giving him at least an hour every morning, I somehow could know what to prepare for the day. He’s truly a faithful God.
Rizal
Relationship Advice for All
Sometimes I think I need to hear LESS of myself, and not more! And I definitely need to listen to God more. It’s hard, though. Sometimes it’s hard to shut out the world and really hear what He’s trying to tell me.
I always process by writing as well…in my journal or sometimes in a long email to a friend when I want my thoughts to be heard. But I also process by thinking and that’s exactly what I did all weekend long as well. I spent a whole day at the beach by myself yesterday just working out, walking, sitting and praying, listening to the bands, and just being. So nurturing for my soul yesterday!
I too had a day like this yesterday. One that is a rareity with 3 children. It was more like a moment but it was amazing, the silence. I had the background noise of Corinne Bailey Rae on my stereo, children laughing in the backyard, & sweet breathing sounds from my baby girl asleep in my arms. I stopped for a moment, deep in my thoughts, and realized what a precious moment in time it was. I allowed my thoughts to go to God and started thanking Him for all the little things. The little moments & snapshots in time.
I find myself to do the same thing you do. I write ALOT, alot of journaling and Massive amounts of thinking. When those “too Big” thoughts come my way I sit in the quiet of my room, bathroom, or the livinging room late at night under a cover, and just think and listen to myself and God. There are days I sing songs and fall into a freestyle worship, singing out my thoughts and feelings in song.
Much like you I process a lot through my writing. However, the times I find I do a lot of thinking and listening are when I’m out in the yard, driving by myself in the car (amazing revelations are possible when the radio is silent!), or simply sitting quietly and waiting expectantly for God’s voice.
I here God mainly when I write, like you sometimes I will sit down to journal…to blog…or whatever and a thought comes to me that i write down and often this will turn into a converstion almost with God. He has spoken to me through nature as well, if I’m out walking the dog. He’s a creative awesome God who just loves to commnicate.
My concept of thought processing is not very pretty, but it does work. Regurgitation. I warned you that it wasn’t pretty! Like a cow, I just chew on the thoughts for awhile. Then swallow. After a bit, they resurface and I wallow them around some more. After several times of this process, I’m finally ready for a new bite. God works in mysterious ways!
Hi Sarah,
I want to tell you that I’ve been following your blog for probably a month now and that I am grateful for stumbling upon it. Your words, your story, your thoughts are inspiring as well as enlightening. I have learnt a few insights here and there and I know (and hope) to learn some more.
Thank you for continuing to ‘think’, ‘talk’ and ‘write’ most of all. There is a calmness about your blogsite that I don’t find in the others. As you’ve written before, you write to write…not to compete or earn or whatever. And believe me it shows and I bet the rewards are tenfold! Thank you again for inspiring your readers!…for inspiring me.
Rachel, I loved your process! ha!
God bless you! deb
Thanks, Sarah, for getting us thinking about our thoughts! I like to give them to God. He always does that cool thing where He puts His twist on them, morphing them into something that I never could see by myself. Then, I like to act on them, or share them or just spend the day thanking Him for them!
I reflect on my thoughts through writing or in the quiet with a cup of tea. I live a very busy life so I treasure the quiet moments before my day begins or before I close my eyes. It is good to write and just see how He responds. Listening requires me to be still…but it is so worth it.
I need to process things outside of myself: journaling, blogging, talking to my husband, friends or family. Sometimes I find that when I have too much time by myself I get absorbed by “me” and lose a proper perspective on people and situations. So, as much as I need my quiet times alone, I also need to balance those with focusing on others.
I always enjoy reading your posts, Sarah!
I process things by writing.
I recently went through a bit of a dry spell on my blog, and I started to feel as though a part of my life were cut out. As though I weren’t living. This is my first time on your blog, and I’ll be back! Thanks!
Sarah,
I found you today clicking around through a link I’d come across in in(courage). I remember finding your blog a couple years ago, and really liking it, but I hadn’t been here in a long time. I read your most recent posts, and marvel at your transparency. Thank you for sharing your heart with so many!
i forget that college is a gift, there are many moments where i can get away… go to the beach, go to my quiet spot in the bookstore or library.
as i read your post i realized how i crave those moments of peace and silence, yet i do not fight for them.
thanks for the challenge to sit and listen.
p.s. don miller is my favorite writer at the moment (i just picked up Father Fiction), let me know what you think of the book.
last night i was in my van, in the garage, listening to music (garage door was open, van was NOT RUNNING). and God found me there, and he talked, and i listened… turns out i was missing him…a lot.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately…I used to be so sure of how God spoke to me. Then, I moved to Romania. And then, I married a Romanian. Now, I’m wondering what language it is in which God speaks to me. I feel like I’m having to learn this language all over again. The same way I’m learning to speak Romanian. The same way I’m learning the language my husband speaks (no an oral language, but the one of his heart).
I have been visiting from time to time and did not realize that you live close by.I Just had a crazy thought and felt very convicted to extend the invitation. Our church is going on a retreat this weekend in Palm Springs. We are doing a Beth moore retreat at a beautiful resort. If you are needing a weekend away to fellowship and to sit at His feet it would be so nice to meet you.
In Him,
Jenn
I hear ya. I get stuff rattling around in my head but without time to sit and think, it takes much longer for it to “gel” into whole thought processes. During these times, I always say, “God works on me.” He brings scraps from hither and yon and slowly, slowly, they come together in fragments of moments until I do have time to pull it together. And then I usually sit and think and write it up in my journal until the thoughts clarify and I can connect the dots to make a big picture.
Over the past 5 years, however, I’ve learned another lesson, too: when I’m feeling melancholy or TOO introspective – when the kids begin to feel like nothing but INTERRUPTIONS to me – when I am shadowed by a general sense of inadequacy or shame – then this is usually the time when I need to practice being quiet in my spirit and with my tongue. These are usually times when thinking too much is dangerous and non-productive. And so I have to go quiet until perspective returns and I can think clearly, productively, truthfully again. Marin Luther once said, “When the waters are troubled, the devil likes to go fishing.” I knew I loved that man.
p.s.
ever heard that famous Martyn Lloyd-Jones saying?: “Stop LISTENING to yourself, and start TALKING to yourself.”
It reminds me of King David: “O my soul… why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God…”