“But nobody SEES them make fun of me. No one hears.” My eight-year-old’s complaint about the boys at school who daily antagonize her is a familiar song in our after-school car.
Many days she comes home in tears.
We try to teach her ways to hold her own, to stay confident, to not let their words hurt. But they always do. She always cries.
“No one sees,” she sighs. Defeated. Alone in a classroom full of other kids.
No one sees and so no one truly believes. Her teacher does her best, as does the principal and the playground teachers. But really, it’s the in-the-hall, in-the-lunch-line, and at-the-top-of-the-slide times that matter. No one sees, or hears, the hurtful words that happen every day.
So she feels like no one cares.
But I do. “I believe you, sweetheart. And if I was there, I would pay attention enough to SEE the boys who say things.” I tell her and glance at her in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes look at the floor and her brows meet in a snarl above her nose.
Because it’s all about how much I pay attention. I have personal stock in my own child: I care about her more than any other adult on any campus. They are stretched. They care about all the children, but to pay close PERSONAL attention to each one at all times is impossible.
I understand that.
But…
We serve a God who sees.
He intimately sees my daughter’s distress when no other person does. He sees the hearts of the little boys who feel the need to provoke and hurt. He hears each of their thoughts and knows their fears.
And He also sees, when no one else does, the impoverished, the weary. He knows each child who is malnourished, each that are sick. He comes alongside with divine compassion to the dying and holds the hands of those who’ve been forgotten by the rest of us.
He sees the son who’s father has left. He sees the daughter who’s mother abuses. He holds their tears in His hand.
He sees behind the bitterness and pain and notices the heart of the woman who won’t let anyone love her, anyone close to her. He understands her.
He understands the man who feels like he’s failing to provide for his family. He knows his hurt and fear as if it was His own.
And the God Who Sees also pays close attention to me. To my day and to my hours.
He walks close by, seeing me when I am unseen.
Genesis 16:13
“You are the God who sees me,” for {Hagar} said “I have now seen the One who sees me.”
He sees and because of that we can see Him.
Do you feel seen?
Thank you for your words. I have been struggling this week with what I will see when me and my husband go on a Mission Trip to Guatemala in June. I am afraid of how my heart will break. Will I be able to withstand all the pain, starvation,and helplessness I will witness while on this trip? The question of WHY GOD? will surface. The feeling of I cannot do enough to help everyone and it hurts me. I might copy this out and bring with me to remind myself that the Almighty sees all of it. Any suggestions on how to prepare your heart for those who have gone on Missions before? This is my first one.
Sheena,
You are going to have an awesome time!!
My husband and I are also going to Guatemala in June. We are leaving June 12th.
This is our first trip to Gua but we have been to Thailand twice before.
You will be amazed at the strength that God will give you!
Praying for you and your trip!
Misty:
I serve with Word Made Flesh: serving Jesus among the poorest of the poor. So, while I see a lot of this kind of thing everyday. All I can say is, just let your heart be open. Cry. Ask the questions. Give lots of hugs and smiles. Enter the lives of the poor with respect. Let them teach you. They’ll lead you to Jesus. I promise.
You’ll do great…
Sheena, I’ve not been on mission trips outside the US but I can tell you … God uses the “loaves and fish” of one to multiply and feed thousands. Keep your chin up while you are there … know that your “loaves and fish” are multiplying in the Father’s hands.
Aine
yes, i do feel seen. it is a very recent thing. i did not always feel seen. but now i do, and it quiets me.
Wow. Awesome blog.
Sometimes I do….sometimes not.
Thank you Sarah as always for sharing your heart and your lives with so many.
thank you Misty. =)
This is exactly what I try to foster on my blog…or at least part of what I’m trying to foster. I work with kids-at-risk in Romania and in I hope that as I advocate for them, I’m able to do it in a way that makes them REAL, seen, if you will. My post today shows a bit of that if you have the time to stop by.
As for your question, I often find myself repeating Zipporah’s words when she was thrown into the wilderness: You are the God who sees me. I’m not sure if it’s that I don’t feel seen or if it’s that I just feel missed by others(misunderstood, etc)., and somehow those words form a prayer that brings me back to what matters: I matter. To Him.
oops…I meant Hagar. Not Zipporah.
The God who see my hearts and understands, even when I am misunderstood by others. *sigh*
Thanks bunches, Sarah.
i agree – it is good to know god understands when others dont.
No. I don’t feel seen.
I know it’s Truth that He sees me. And I will hold on
to that Truth. But, no. I don’t feel it.
I’m looking forward to the day when He will tell me all that He saw…and that He loved me through it.
That is so honest of you Michelle – thanks for sharing. I am just entering back into a place of learning how God sees me; after a long season of feeling very “unseen.”
Blessings to you today…
wow, michelle. thank you for sharing this. He does see. i’m convinced…
I can sooo relate to your daughter. I don’t understand sometimes where kids learn to be so mean so young. I remember trying to be a part of but being teased to isolation. Over nothing. But, being isolated made me the go-to person when another needed to beat someone down. Usually with words, not fists. But, that doesn’t make the hurt any less.
Pete Wilson wrote this a month or so ago and, even at 52, I so needed to read it & keep it close. Something like this: “I want to be accepted. I want to be loved. I want to make a difference.” When I was 8 and when I’m 52. I know God sees me, but why can’t the people around me see me with God’s eyes? Just sometimes! I want to scream “look at me, I’m right here”.
I pray I am making a difference in peoples’ lives today. In recovery. Learning (and relearning) how to live & make a difference in myself & the world around me. God does see me. And guides me. Even when that stream is in springtime mode & running deep & fast. I see the shiny rock. It is within my grasp……
beautiful shellie. thank you.
If it’s any consolation, I was teased a lot as a kid, and while I’m far from the most secure person on the planet, I’m pretty happy in general and have gone on to pursue my dreams. I had a family who really loved me, as well as a strong faith, and that shaped my future far more than a few insecure bullies.
My son is 8. He sometimes gets teased, but it rolls off his back. All kids are different.
I just found the InCourage website, and it’s been really inspiring. Thanks for sharing your stories. I’ll be praying for you and I’ll be back.
andrea
thank you so much andrea. and i’m glad you found me. =)
Such a sweet reminder. It’s so reassuring to dwell on the Truth that God sees us and our needs and He WANTS us. He sees us because He loves and made us – not because He has to.
Thanks so much for sharing this – it helped calmed my heart today.
i agree. and you are welcome, leslie. =)
I’ve been feeling very weary of late, and your words encouraged and refreshed me. Thank you for speaking the truth to my heart!
he strengthens the weary, of that i am sure.
i feel weary a lot lately too. =)
I do, actually.
I feel seen.
And I am so grateful.
My biggest battle is just reminding myself (constantly) that I am more grateful that God sees me even when the people I most love here do not seem to see me.
hmm. i understand that. i will pray today that you will be seen by those who should be seeing you.
Yes, I believe He sees. Sometimes, I need to preach this truth to myself and immerse myself in His Word. We can easily fall into the trap of feeling like He is not listening, when we aren’t being bombarded by the truth that is in God’s Word.
Thank you!
seen by God? for sure. now, more than ever.
by the people with whom i’m the closest? not always. maybe hardly ever.
and on one hand that seems sad, but when i really get my brain/heart around it, i realize that He’s the One i am longing for anyway. and the seeing is best when it comes from Him.
now to walk that out in an ‘everyday-i’m human kind of way’….
easier to talk about than to do.
absolutely!!
God bless you, Sarah, and your sweeties. Praying for Him to protect those little hearts. It starts so young, too young, and some are more sensitive to the hurt of that. (like me! ha!)
Just this morning and yesterday I was thinking about how many things He asks me to do, that are small and unseen . . .like everything, my whole life. . .and will I do that for Him? And will I do it with the right heart attitude? I want to answer YES! Just need extra doses of His help some days. love and prayers for you all! deb
I think Nikkie said what my heart wanted to, much better than I could! Thanks Nikkie!
Sarah, I love this post because it reminds me that God does see all, when no one else does. BUT, in reading it, one thing jumps out at me – it sounds as if Hope is being bullied. Yes, it sounds like teasing, but there’s a very fine between teasing & bullying – if she’s driven to tears, that could be bullying. Especially if it’s a “gang” of kids – you know, that mob mentality.
You know as well as I do what a hot button the word bullying is right now, and why. That’s why I suggest that you take a good, hard look at what’s being said to Hope. IF you believe that it’s bullying, run, don’t walk to the principal – he/she will most definitely listen to you when you use that word – even if no one else sees it.
I’m a school psychologist here in Louisiana, and I detest teasing – I ABHOR bullying. No one should be made to cry at school.
Love to you!
thank you elaine. we have talked to the principal actually. a few different times. the bullying (and i agree, it is that) seems to be important but not important enough.
and I really appreciate your view as a school psych. it is very helpful.
Perhaps, and I do NOT say this lightly, when you speak to the principal, you should mention Phoebe Prince, South Hadley, MA, and suicide. It is your job to protect your daughter, whatever it takes; if a lawyer needs to say those words, then maybe one should? (please know that I speak in love; I am not a sue-er, but this issue is near to my heart)
no, i know. thank you so much elaine. truly.
This made my cry today. I guess I needed to hear it. Sometimes I feel unseen for sure. But today I am reminded that I am. I am very grateful for your words of encouragement. Lots of hugs to Hope too. I am praying for her.
oh, thank you heather. so much.
Most of the time, I feel completely unseen by people. And for a long time unseen by God. It took me a long time to move out of that and trust that He sees me. But even now, there are days when I feel so unseen (like right now). This has brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for the reminder that He sees.
Sometimes I feel seen…understood…heard. Sometimes I feel…alone…tired.
Side note: I want to kick those boys tails. Kick those boys tails.
I second that kicking tails thing.
you and me both.
truth: when I was bullied, my mom didn’t see like you do. I remember sitting at the kitchen table and her telling me I needed to figure it out because my coming home crying was hard on her.
I love seeing how you are with your girls.
I will say, though, by His grace I always knew He saw. I am so blessed that I had Him. I didn’t feel like life was going to be fixed, but I did always know He wouldn’t leave me alone.
El Roi – the God who sees… love that story in the Bible. It has so much meaning to me that God sees and hears… growing up in a household where unwritten rules were “don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t have need” it has taken me years to re-write the “acceptability” of being seen, heard, understood. Understanding God as El Roi has SO helped this. Love that you are helping your children understand that they are seen by God and by you
Oh, I so needed to be reminded of this right now. I needed to be reminded that I am not alone, I have Someone who cares for me. I have someone who hears me, cares about me, and wants to walk through life with me He’s here with me, every day, every moment. Even when I feel alone.
Thank you, Sarah.
I don’t feel seen
He sees. Even when I’m trying not to let Him, because I want to savour the pain and justify the bitterness…
He sees and He speaks tender to the hurt. He defends with the Sword of Truth. And by His grace, the seed of faith yields its richest fruit in the darkest of days.
Oh Sarah…I really needed to read this. First, I am praying for Hope and those mean boys! I hope that some resolution comes and FAST!
Second, the only thing that gets me through most days is knowing that God does see me, knows my heart and He does and will Vindicate! It is a narrow, lonely road being a follower of Christ sometimes! Thanks for the words of encouragement!