Did that get your attention?
Yeah, I know it’s a hot topic.
But yeah. Wow.
I will be attending Idea Camp’s conference on Sex {and the world, and the church, and us} this September. I’m very excited. I’ve never been to an Idea Camp conference before, but when Amber Haines and I began to talk about it a few weeks ago I realized it was just up my alley. And only about four hours away from me in Las Vegas.
It’s prompted Amber to do a series on her own blog about sex and related issues. She’s asked me to guest post for her today and write about my own battle with pornography.
{I’ve written about it before here. And here too.}
From the Idea Camp website:
In a culture formed and broken by tainted views of human sexuality, what should followers of Christ embody?
Join us for a fresh, honest and transformative conversation with leading thinkers on topics including sexual identity, orientation, abuse, gender perceptions, porn, marriage, family, prostitution, and slavery.
The issues related to human sexuality are too often misunderstood, ignored, or avoided in far too many churches. The Idea Camp will facilitate a safe and transparent environment of learning, sharing of insights from the respective fields of focus, and practical insights and examples of holistic care.
See sex for what it could be, not what we’ve made it.
To read my post on The Runamuck about how fantasy and porn affected my relationship with my husband in the early days of our marriage and how it helped to prep my heart for the affair that I would have, click here.
Do you think it’s okay for Christians to talk about sex and related topics in public forums like conferences and/or blogs?
To register for !CSEX click here.
Yes, most definitely. I see sex being ignored and it needs to be discussed. I pray the conference will be successful and so will the blogs. Thanks Sarah.
thank you carol!!
Yes, yes, and yes.
I do think the church across the board does need to talk about sex and the biblical perspective within marriage regarding sex. It has been largely ignored and has contributed a lot of damage for a very long time. However, I do feel that there is a line. I’m not sure if it’s God honoring to preach about sex to a male/female audience on a Sunday morning. It’s not about being mature, being spiritual enough to handle the topic in that context. It’s about being human. Separate smaller group discussions would be the way to go.
Also, I think being honest with children and teenagers is extremely important. They need to know accurate and real information.
Thanks for talking about sex!
Faith, you said, “I think being honest with children and teenagers is extremely important.”…
That’s actually part of the blogging discussion that we are having with The Idea Camp. Starting Sept 19th we will have ‘Family Week’ and that is one of the issues that we’ve identified that we want to discuss.
I agree completely that much of the solution to so many problems in this area start right there…
Dan King
I do! Especially since these forums and/or blogs are things that individuals choose to attend or read (it isn’t anyone is forced to do if it is too uncomfortable for them…)
I hope that conference is enriching and I will be looking forward to any blog posts that come out of it!
Ofcourse it is! God made sex (and it’s a beautiful thing)… So of all people, we should be the ones talking about it
.. **cue salt and peppa music ‘let’s talk about sex baby”**
um. yes.
i think it is not only right, but necessary for Christians to talk about sex. i remember growing up in my youth group hearing that “sex is bad”. then i would hear all of my acquaintances at school saying “sex is really fun” and i couldn’t figure it out. thankfully, i had wonderful Godly parents who were teaching the right message. . .”sex is great but only in marriage.” i think that the church is ignoring sex/pornography/homosexuality when it could be speaking out with the backing of the Lord and making a huge difference in the lives of many believers and unbelievers.
right now, i am pretty certain that my fiance feels as if he has committed an unforgivable sin. . .a sin he could have never even fathomed himself capable of — pornography. right now, he is acting as if no one else has ever done something so horrible. this mentality is incredibly damaging for many reasons, not the least of which is cheapening the grace that is readily available through our Father. however, i think he feels this way because the church doesn’t talk about it even though 70% of Christians have admitted to struggling with pornography in their daily lives ((non-scientific poll taken by XXXchurch in april of 2007)).
pornography is a ‘hidden’ sin, but its effects are everything but ‘hidden’. i think it is time the church and all believers stop trying to ‘hide’ it and speak openly about it and bring light to the darkness. it is when we bring things into the light and allow the light of the Lord to permeate our being that healing begins.
so true LS. and most men have dealt with it at some level. and many women. he isn’t alone.
check out XXXchurch. or have him do that. there is so much out there for help and support.
It is a MUST!! I’ve spent 16 years talking to couples about sex.
And I’m always amazed at their lack of knowledge due to misplaced modesty.
Just imagine how fabulous and healthy Christian marriages could be if we
got past all that and talked about it.
- I’m just staying in the family business.
Wow… thank you for this Sarah. I asked my husband this very question today, as I have been writing alot about sex and marriage on my blog for newlywed/engaged ladies. It’s funny, cause all of the sudden I felt attacked by the enemy… like I shouldn’t be writing about it, and I am too open, and not treating sex as sacred. But anyways, I am pressing on, because deep down I know that it needs to be talked about, especially with Christian women. And there is no reason to be ashamed of sex within marriage or our testimonies pertaining to sex…God can and will use it all for His glory!
I was encouraged to read the replies that other people have left today! So cool!!
I think it’s more than ok, it’s necessary. There might need to be some boundaries, but the more transparency you can give an area that has long be kept under rugs, in closets, and behind closed doors the more you can heal and be healed.
thank you jen. i agree – healing, healing… there is so much of that that is needed.
Our church began hosting a conference called Pure Rebellion last year and it’s very powerful. We took our teenage boys last year. ALL people really need to know how to maintain their purity – which is so much more than not having sex outside of marriage. We are barraged with so much these days that someone has to speak up for the truth.
so true!! way more than just staying a virgin. thank you for that, dianne.
http://christiannymphos.org/ Weird name, but their site is great.
Also, http://www.boards.themarriagebed.com/
thank you for the links, inna. =)
I read your post today over at Amber’s blog today, and I was blown away by your transparency. In fact the whole week (for The Idea Camp porn week) has been pretty mind-blowing. But I see grace, redemption, and healing in and coming from each of these posts. It’s really pretty special. So thank you for sharing your story.
I’m also the guy that is running the six-week blogging series for The Idea Camp, and I’d love to add you to the team if you’re interested. I’d love to feature some of your writing on these discussions. Email if you are interested or want to discuss details.
Either way… see you in Vegas!
Dan King
i’d love to add something, dan. i’ll email you in a few minutes. thank you for taking time to comment.
Thank you, Sarah, for sharing the way you do. I love how He is using you and yes, I think He is for this kind of sex talk!
Blessings and hope!
deb
Can I come, too? You AND Amber Haines TOGETHER? I might just lose my mind with happiness–I don’t care WHAT the topic is!
of course you can. =) that would be a lot of fun. chad will be there too.
You are crazy inspiring.
In awe…
God created sex right?!!! so why can’t Christians talk about it freely & openly when they need to. maybe that’s why we as Christians have trouble in that area of sex cuz it’s not a free zone. sry but come on let’s get offended until we’re not offended anymore ppl. you go sarah! <3
You, Elizabeth Ester, and I — yeah that would be awesome.
Sarah, you’re doing a great job here. I guess it’s obvious that I think Christians ought to be talking about it in truth rather than letting the television and magazine stands dictate our perspectives.
Thank you again for joining me today as only you could.
You know we would ROCK that par-tay!
In my life I’ve run across two types of situations where Believers NOT talking about sex leads to trouble – when they are not talking about showing leadership in following God’s will regarding physical relationships and when they refuse to talk about abuse whether it be sexual, spiritual, physical or emotional. When we do not talk, as Believers, we are not able to speak up for positive choices and change, we are not able to support and show love for those suffering and in pain and we are not able to minister to those who need God’s love and healing when they need it most. Churches and Believers who turn a blind eye towards the good and the bad about sex are on a dangerous cruise down De-Nial. I’d never think less of you for tackling the tough issues Sarah. I am a survivor.
There most definitely needs to be more conversation about sex within the church! I can’t even express how frustrated I and my other single friends are that our needs aren’t addressed. It’s one thing to tell a kid in junior to save sex for marriage but it’s a whole other ballgame when you’re a young adult and older. To be a 30 year old virgin in a sex-saturated culture is not easy and there are days that I question my obedience to God in this area. It would be nice to have this addressed- or for there to be a sermon on singleness. If I had a dollar for every marriage sermon I’ve sat through…
I’ll be interested to hear about what you learn!
I think it’s important for the Church ti discuss sex, Yes. But I also think that what is said is even more important…
I think you are amazing. keep it up!
Well, since God talks about sex in His book, I think we’re safe to do the same.
Just let our speech be seasoned with truth and grace.
It is definitely a great idea for Christians to address the issue of sex in an open forum. Sex was meant to be something shared between a husband and a wife. Yet the world has twisted it and unfortunately some churches have taken on the same mindset that sex is sordid. For too long Christians have been passive on the subject.
Dear Sarah
It’s always good to see you are never afraid to tackle the deeper important things.
I have given you an award I found awarded to me this morning. I hope you might enjoy receiving it, otherwise feel free just to enjoy it:)
http://ceelew.blogspot.com/2010/07/beautiful-blogger-award.html
God bless today
Cee..xx
Thank you so much Cee! I’m honored that you would think of me!
That’s great Sarah! A subject that definitely needs to be talked about a lot more, but in a way that is truthful and seasoned with God’s grace. I am shocked at what kids see on TV, are taught in schools–or forced to learn in schools, the soft core porn in advertising that we are forced to see. It is no wonder why the number one addiction young adolescent males are faced with is pornography (not just the young ones either). Sad! Not too mention the same sex, bisexual, and transgender issues that are being forced on us and our families as well. A great site to check out that is dealing with a lot of these issues is Family Watch at http://www.familywatchinternational.org/fwi/
It’s time to address these issues head on and talk about how God intended ‘sex’ to be according to His inerrant Word!
i so can’t wait to hear about this…