When I was a middle school teacher I had my one big magic book.
Each August before school began I’d arm myself for the upcoming school year by visiting the teacher supply store. Posters and maps. Sticky Putty. Next aisle was staplers and hole punchers. Then there would be row with hundreds of the dark green classic teachers’ planning books on shelves. Every iteration of planning book to fit the needs of all kinds of teachers could all be found there.
The book I always chose had big boxes for planning for each class period organized in week by week at the back of the book and the class registers in the front.
Ahh.
A new book for a new school year. There is something clean and disciplined about a crisp, perfect new planning book.
I’d sharpen my pencil, sit down with my curriculum and begin to plan out the first month of school. I’d print everything carefully and neat little rows. As soon as I received my class rosters, I’d print each of their names in pencil by class, last name first, first name last.
By January my planning boxes would be littered with red pen scribbled in the corners as I made adjustments, the lines in my class registers would be eraser upon eraser as students moved classes, and the book itself would be bent and the pages cluttered with paper clips as dividers. I’d gotten lazy and hurried as the months wore on.
My perfect book would be worn and tired before the school year was even half-way done.
If I’m honest, sometimes I feel like that halfway-through-the-school-year book.
I’m cluttered, even though I began so neat and ordered. I am filled with eraser marks and pencil lead. My heart is lazy and fat with the school year, it’s bent and broken and torn in place.
With matters of the heart, I can’t just “buy a new book.” Oh, that would be too easy.
The human heart doesn’t have the luxury to reinvent itself every time it needs rejuvenation. Or redirection. Or reprimand. What about the heart that’s lapsed into selfishness {mine} or the heart that has eased into comfort {mine too}. And there’s the heart that has been broken too wide and then split up the other side, or the heart that has been hardened. How do I start over with any of that? I can’t just buy a new book and sharpen my No. 2 Ticonderoga.
The answer is to allow the One who created my heart to renew it. He can make it crisp and new and clean again. He can smooth the bent and broken pages and straighten the places that have gone crooked. He can erase the sin and the grief with His blood.
He can make the heart lean and efficient, sensitive and empathetic, compassionate, caring.
God can re-make my heart. If I allow Him.
Do you ever feel like you have a cluttered, lazy heart?
Can we just talk about school supplies? And about my deep love for them?
No? Oh. Well. Carry on, then.
I try not to let my heart lapse into clutter, but lazy, yes. It’s the waiting I think that makes me lazy about it. Mind going from “Who cares?” ….. to “What does it matter?” But, then, I have a long self talk with myself and talk myself out of being overly lazy, but to like go buy my hubby a plant. He (this summer) has gotten not-lazy and loves to plant flowers. I wish the world could see his gorgeous flower planting. I guess it balances out….me (I’ve never been the lazy type), but sure have put enough energy for ten people into projects…so, I keep my heart and thoughts on the positive, magnificent things I have done and it cheers me up!!!! No, I don’t think you are selfish….so go easy on yourself. You’re helping so many people! Thanks!
I feel that way more often that I should admit to. So, how do you “let Him” renew it? That is where I get lost….I believe in God and I have faith, but I don’t know ‘how’ to have more of a relationship with him. Any advice?
I just completed a great study by Priscilla Schirer entitled “Discerning the Voice of God”. It really taught me how to draw near to God and learn His voice and hear him speak to me. Maybe this would be a good study for you as well!
I loved that study. With a deep and profound affection.
Robyn
I know that if I am not studying His Word or going to Him in prayer I feel very far away from God. But when I am in His word and praying regularly God speaks to me and shows me things, like places in my heart that are dry and need some water, things I need to change, etc. The more he shows me the closer I get. If you are in his word and praying but still don’t think you are close to Him, it is possible there is something in your life that is hindering that. I know my struggle with insecurity can hinder my prayer life, my own pride, not being on the same page with my husband, harboring anger for a person, etc. Are all things that can hinder your walk.
Hopefully I have encouraged you Robyn. And I will pray that God reveals Himself to you in a way that he never has before!
God brought us out to bring us in. Deuteronomy 6:23
~jimmie lee
http://www.everythingbeautiful-jimmielee.blogspot.com
This was a wonderful post – what a great analogy.
Yes – my heart feels cluttered and lazy a lot. And it is so nice to know that I can go to the Father of all and he will take care of it, making it like new, fresh, clean again.
The past 2 years have been challenging ones for my family (3 deaths in 19 months). We’ve struggled and felt our hearts break in to millions of pieces over and over again. But we’re always able to go to the Father and have him help us put things back together. We’re still a work in progress – but we’re getting there!
Blessings.
oh Susan, I am so sorry about all your pain in such a short amount of time! I know how you feel. In the year 2009, my family and I experienced 3 major deaths, as well as a couple more distant family member deaths.
I never thought it would be possible to go through even ONE of those experiences….and then God allowed even more.
We must both keep looking to Him as Father and, as you said, allow Him to put together all those broken pieces of our hearts. Thank goodness He is faithful!
How I love that new book , new begining feeling. Then life gets in the way, people, politics etc and I have become jaded. I do turn to the Lord for renewing. Just struggling at the moment to hear his wisdom x
Oh I love shopping for school supplies for my sons! My youngest has to go to summer school this summer so we bought him new notebooks, pens, etc and I secretly was thrilled to be able to do that now instead of waiting till August to get ready for the new school year. New notebooks, new shoes, a fresh haircut. All ready for a NEW START. And I know he’ll have the notebooks doodled all over and lose the pens and the hair will grow into it’s normal Beatles look within a week or two. I LOVE that God gives us the chance to make our hearts NEW again. The ripped, torn, worn out, erasered etc notebook of our hearts and lives CAN be made NEW! What a blessing! All we have to do is go to the lamb and seek forgiveness and blessings…..and we’re handing a brand new heart all clean and fresh and ready for the next day brings.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to see that my heart has gotten cluttered and lazy. ! Thank you for helping me with that today, and to remember to ask for His renewing. He is soooo faithful . . .and so are you, Sarah!
love, deb
Yes!!! I love your analogy. Just yesterday I walked through the school supply aisle at Wal-Mart and my heart went pitter-patter. There is a new feeling..fresh, clean slate, invigorating, a new chance, new beginnings. I love that feeling. And you are so right, Sarah. Only He can give us that..and sometimes I need that renewal more than once per day.
Thank you for blessing me with this wonderful devotional this morning..
Erin
oohhh…I am SO here right now! Working on decluttering my heart….especially from unforgiveness that I have just realized I have been holding onto.
Perfect analogy, Sarah!
Sarah,
I love your connections from everyday life things into God things, its amazing.
Right now I feel my heart is working, passionate and longing for more of Jesus. But there was time in my life that my heart was stone cold and harder than harder and I got lazy. Praise God that his Holy Spirit refreshes, renews, and regenerates!!!
Wonderful analogy, Sarah.
I just filled in my new plan book for the school year. I pray these words will come back to encourage me as the year goes on and my plan book gets… um… messy. Plan book = reminder to pray Psalm 51. Check.
Thank you!
i feel that i have a very cluttered, lazy heart.
i am working on decluttering.
And I think it’s messy to clean up the mess too, but God loves getting his hands dirty like that. I think he loves when we show him our hands, holding our scratched, bruised and broken heart. “Papa, now what?” And I imagine him looking at me, like a father would his daughter, and saying, “This might hurt a little, but trust me.”
God WILL remake my heart when I allow him. He wants to.
I’m feeling that heart these days. I keep thinking I need a week of doing nothing but sitting on the side of the mountain, talking with Jesus. Then He reminds me that He works in the every day, meeting me right here, right now. He renews, He redeems.
I love this, because I can relate so well. Although I wish I could just run to the store for a renewed heart, I know the only One who can supply that is Christ.
Thanks for sharing.
Such a well written post. Thank I really needed that this morning! My heart is very broken and my soul is yearning for God to heal it…..
I was just reading Psalm 51 the other night in preparing for this week’s rest study….wow did God speak to me through David’s words…the cry of my heart!
10Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
You did a beautiful job of putting how I often feel into words. I love those wonderful, tidy, fresh starting points, but spend most of my life in that half-way-through-the-year mess stages. Or at least it seems that way. There are so many times that I just want to start over. But you’re right; I can’t go buy a new heart & begin again with a fresh pencil. But God can refresh and renew me – if I will but turn to Him. Thank you for this reminder.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
Ah, yes. I know the feeling.
I too love fresh office/school supplies. There is something about the smell of the fresh paper, the wooden pencils… Little boxes of staples and paper clips.
Like you Sarah, half way through the year those binders/duotangs/books would look pretty rough. Acutally, it was usually by October for me. It only took about one month before I would stop opening up the binder rings to add the handout or assignment. Before I had doodled all over the front pages of my booklets with ” I love _____” or rainbows.
So often I become lazy with taking care of myself. I slip up and eat that ice cream, watch TV instead of going for a walk, spend my quiet time reading a tabloid instead of God’s word. Then I hop back on the bandwagon to start again. But, like the binder, it only takes about a month before I get lazy again. Not so much lazy, as unmotivated. I don’t see its worth… I am a lover of immediate results.
Once again I am going through that phase in my life where I let it go, I let God move in and smooth out the corners, use his “reinforcements” (cheesy, enough?). The best part is, like you mentioned, he doesn’t use white out. He doesn’t glop goo right over top of our mistakes. He ERASES them. He takes that smelly old pink eraser and makes sure it’s gone. Then never mentions it again. No white out, no red marker to forever remind us of our short comings….
Man, the God we serve is good!
Thanks for always writing about something relevant. I start your blog thinking “Me too!” then finish with, “You are so right girlfriend!” Thanks for offering a great perspective on real life.
Michelle
I wish I knew how.
i am not sure that my heart is lazy, per se, but i could definitely use some heart renewal and some heart healing. i really wish it was as easy as buying a new planner with those fresh crisp pages but i have to believe that sometimes messy is just where the Lord wants us. . .messy is where He can show up and do big things and great miracles and just show His glory. sometimes i think we have to get to messy before we reach that point where we really realize how utterly out of control we are and how completely in control He is. even when the schedule doesn’t seem complete or ‘logical’ in our minds, i am learning to be thankful that the Lord comes in and uses His eraser and red pen on my life. . .even when it is oh so painful. . .
I definitely had a lazy heart a few weeks back when my love for people ( the kind Gods Second Commandment wants us to have) took a nose dive. I work as a nurse and at times it can be a bit stressful.When a fellow co-worker was short with me during a conversation about a patient… I noticed my heart harden towards her. Add in other annoying incidents that happened during that week and I told God I just couldn’t possibly love people anymore and He would just have to understand and take my side on this. Long story short..I repented and He restored my love for people again…even for my co-worker!
Blessings
Stephanie
that’s awesome stephanie!!
My heart is so cluttered and lazy ( and if I’m honest, selfish)that I am afraid to release it to God for fear of what I might have to let go and allow him to remove.
My heart is fearful to feel too much. My counselor says the heart is the closest thing to the Spirit speaking. I wonder if that means I’m not listening…