The house I grew up in is bordered on the south by a low brick wall. I’d throw open the front screen, scramble up to the top and walk along the length of it.
I did it hundreds of times.
One afternoon I didn’t know that two important bricks were loose. I walked on the wall like I had done countless afternoons before {each time reaching the end intact}, but when I reached the wobbly pieces, my foot gave out.
Two seven-year-old feet went out from under me.
Two seven-year-old shins scraped the length of the wall.
Two bloody legs scoured free of skin from ankle to knee.
I collapsed and screamed and was carried into the house. My mother bandaged my shins and let me lay on the sofa to watch cartoons. But the legs of little girls heal quickly and soon after the bricks had been mortared back into security, I ran the length of the wall again.
Balancing atop the low brick wall as a second grader wasn’t a bad choice, it wasn’t unwise, but it also wasn’t safe. I’d made the best possible choice with the information in front of me and fell anyway.
WISE and SAFE aren’t interchangeable.
I can also live in extreme safety, never making a choice that might result in exposure or failure, but that may not be wise.
I have grown up thinking that wise and safe were the same thing. My life is full of safe choices. Thinking I was making the wise choice for college turned out to be me just making the safe choice. Thinking I was being wise in getting married so young, I was actually worried that we just wouldn’t make it much longer as a dating couple. We needed to get married to make it “count”.
So often we equate safety and wisdom and risk with foolishness. But that isn’t always true.
Sometimes the wisest choice is also the riskiest one. And the safest, most comfortable choice is the most foolish one. I can create this safe, comfortable, fat life for myself never taking a risk and never worried that I might fail. But what kind of life is that?
I want to be wise, but in that I believe that it won’t always be “safe”.
Our family is about to make some changes that we believe will be made with wisdom. But they are anything but safe. Wisdom and safety do NOT mean the same thing, but in wisdom and prayer we believe we will rest within God’s safety and not our own.
What do you think? Are you a safe person? A risky one? How does that expose itself in foolishness or wisdom?
I shrink from risky decisions. I realized that the other day when I found myself saying to my husband, “I would NEVER do that!” . . .
Our two year old Danica needs a second dangerous brain surgery and spinal fusion. The specialists all over the US disagree on points and at the end of the day my husband and I have to move past all the risk and do the hard thing now to keep her SAFE. http://www.teamdanica.com/2010/06/risks-and-benefits.html Finding where my faith stands in the midst of “Safe and Wise” is truly like standing over my Isaac on the altar. Will I obey? Do I trust Him completely? Thank you for your post. I will be praying for your family as you make “scary” changes that God will be glorified and the beauty of your story will continue to bless others as it has my own life.
My husband is adventurous. He wants me to sky-dive with him, to scuba with sharks, to bungee jump, things like that, he wants to base jump and thinks doing these things is ‘a blast.’ I will never do any of those things. I think being safe can be the wise choice too. IF I were to risk life and limb it would have to be for a cause, not for the sake of risk taking. Before he turned 30, he had SIX friends die, each in a different, high-risk scenario. He’s drawn to risk taking personalities yet I am the total opposite and I am pull him back from the edge. He jokingly refers to me as ‘grandma’ sometimes but also refers to me as his safety net, his safe place. God is mine. I might, I would hope I would, be able to take unsafe risks to help save someone else or if it were about my faith but I never think/feel taking risks is fun. If the unsafe choices were made with wisdom and for a purpose beyond the thrill, or ‘adrenaline rush’, I could understand it better. Go for it Sarah! If the choice you’re about to make is risky but you feel it is also wise, than be brave and go for it…. the world needs more people who know how to safely and wisely make risky choices. Those are the people that change history, change lives.
I can relate to this a lot. I have always been more of a “safe choice = wise choice” person and have made my decisions accordingly. My husband is much more of a risk taker but he has shown me how there is a lot of wisdom and reasoning behind the risker choices. (depending on the situation, of course)
In the past few years, he and I have made a few BIG decisions that were definitely the risker choice. We are still working through the harder consequences of those decisions but, most of the time, we aren’t discouraged by the fact that we chose a harder, risker route. Because we still believe that in the end, there is going to greater reward and freedom because of those risker choices.
I think risker choices may seem foolish to those who choose safety or who simply don’t desire anything other than what they have (which isn’t necessarily bad). While those of us who struggle for a little bit because of our risky choices may seem like we made the wrong decision, it doesn’t mean the journey is over. To be freed from the mundane takes sacrifice and bravery. I think in the end, it’s worth it.
I am excited for you and your family, whatever is up ahead for you.
Seth and I are with you. It’s funny, though, that going to those unsafe places in this world when called to do so, is also going to straight into the safe place that is God. Ha. It’ll be all we have.
Wonderful post. Thank you for this.
Not making decisions at all in fear of failure is my biggest failure yet.
Wow! You have put into words what I have grappled to explain. I love the imagery of the choice — “it wasn’t a bad choice, it wasn’t an unwise choice but it wasn’t safe.” But I hadn’t gone further in thinking that wise & safe were the same thing!
Profound. Very profound. This idea strikes me as especially true when we are following God’s wisdom which seems as foolishness to the world. As Jim Elliot said, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
I will be coming back to this thought and I am sure sharing this imagery with others (giving due credit).
Ooops, I meant to say “wise & safe were NOT the same thing”
i blogged about a wise,but not safe decision yesterday… God is showing himself to us. we are seeing the value in being obedient even when it isn’t the easiest or safest option.
More and more lately, the distinction between “wise” and “safe” are becoming clear. Like you Sarah, I’ve chosen what is safe and I did it because that gained the acceptance I needed from my family; my identity was the “good girl” who always did the right thing.
But lately, all of my “safe” choices have come undone and I’m staring true wisdom in the eye and it’s not safe. Jesus Christ did what was wise and it cost Him everything. Now I must stand in the face of “safe” family members and proclaim “wise”; the irony is that I don’t think I believe it yet myself. There is so much of me that prefers the comfort of “safe”. If I could have it, I’m quite sure I’d settle for “safe”.
I find it interesting too in reading the previous comments that some of our men are thrill-seekers; mine is too and for him, risk seems to be a virtue in and of itself and I’m growing in my courage to proclaim the “wise”. Honestly though, I think I still want “safe” so badly that I miss opportunities to be “wise”.
Wow – are we the same person? I have always made “safe” choices that weren’t wise. College, marriage, moving, etc… Then later I and made unsafe choices that weren’t wise either. This past year I made the unsafe choice of working things out with my husband after an affair and it has been filled with risk and uncertainty, but we are growing stronger because of it. Thank you so much for your blog – you encourage me.
Excellent and though-provoking post. I think I’ve made decisions all along the wise/foolish/safe/unsafe spectrum. I know that it can be too easy to hang out in my comfort zone. Praying for God to move me beyond that. Real life isn’t found in the safety of a comfort zone. Blessings to you as you step out in a new direction!
I agree, Sarah. Taken too far safety will kill — maybe not the body but the heart. It is safer to never get in a car — accidents happen — and safer to stay indoors — bad guys out there (wherever out there is). Am I safe, then? Or fearful?
Courage begets the wise choice even if less than safe.
Your post reminds me of a great quote from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe:
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver.”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
Stepping out in faith is rarely safe.
This is something that I’ve struggled with a lot, not because I would always choose safety, but because my friends do. When I am looking for advice, my friends will always tell me to do the safe choice, but many times I feel like that is not the choice I am supposed to make. Following God doesn’t come without risk. I struggle with the discernment of when their advice is good and wise, and when I need to take a risk based on what I know of God and his plan for me.
I had never thought of it this way before! But you are so right. I think I often make the “safe” choice – but do know there have been times where I have made the “wise” choice. I pray that even if things are unsafe, that I will always make the wise choice.
Thank-you. I needed to hear this precisely at this moment. I am going through two situations that require me to step out of the ‘safeness’ that I have seemed to live in most of my life.
This is confirmation, I am certain, of what it is that God is asking me to do. I just have to TRUST and have FAITH in Him that by being obedient, all will work out for the best. For His glory. That’s all that matters. Thank-you.
i totally agree with the line “wise and safe aren’t interchangeable”. sometimes our “wisest” choices i truly believe are the scariest. i think our “wisest” choices oftentimes require an extreme amount of faith. i think our “wisest” choices may often look like foolishness to the world.
things like choosing to live sufficiently and give abundantly is most certainly not safe, but it is incredibly wise. choosing to forgive another person when they have hurt us is in no way safe. forgiving is wise ((and commanded)). giving them another chance isn’t safe. but sometimes that is what the Lord calls us to and in that case, it is an incredibly wise decision.
i don’t think walking with Christ is ever “safe” in the way our culture and world view safe. walking with the Lord can be incredibly scary and difficult. the Lord’s will doesn’t always look like we thought it did and in the moment this happens, following Christ doesn’t feel very “safe”. it feels unbelievably petrifying. . .but i can be rest assured, following the Lord — His will, His way, His timing — is ALWAYS wise.
Sarah, praying for you and yours as you take a new wisely unsafe choice, risking looking foolish (but not being foolish)for Him. ! You are such a blessing and inspiration for us! And I have so benefited from all the comments. I have a decision to make concerning brain surgery for my daughter. I will use this to help me make the choice that’s right for her, even if it seems risky and foolish. Thank you!
Hi Sarah!
I thought asking here might actually be a bit more efficient than email…I can only IMAGINE what your inbox looks like! I am leading an online bible study on REST the entire month of July. While I would love a guest post, I know you have many commitments and it is of course SUMMER! Would you mind if I highlighted your blog and linked back to a post you’ve done on “REST”…? If you have a post you’ve written, let me know! Otherwise I can rummage through the plethora of archive goodness. I will likely post the 3rd or 4th week of July. My link goes directly to the study overview.
I am going to step out of my safe comfort zone and ask you a question!
Thank you!!!! Enjoy the 4th!
Best,
Melissa
i did get your email. i will respond today.
I like safe and don’t like to fail, and really don’t like to take a risk. But, I do want to live my life wisely and trusting Jesus. I want to live it well and fully. Not sure where this leaves me, but you have given me something to think about. Thank you!
Love this post, Sarah. Love the adventurous spirit you’ve captured so nicely, and the idea that wisdom doesn’t rule out real risk. In fact, the opposite might be true at times.
As for the decisions your family is making, I’m so glad you’re finally moving to Calgary to hang out with the Hueberts.
*
* Disclaimer to other readers and the rumour mill. This is a joke.
hilarious.
no we are not moving to calgary.
sounds cold…
Ah, I know about this all too well. I think it’s also interconnected with faith. Sometimes we have to do things that aren’t safe but they are wise because God is calling us to step out in faith. He has led me through that experience a time or two in the past few years. Big leaps of faith for me. Like making dental appointments before I had the money (it was a long waiting list and I HAD to get in within a certain amount of time)
I am generally a “safe” person. I don’t like getting hurt. Period. Ha, I’ll risk things if I *know* everything will turn out okay.
Mostly, I’m afraid of getting physically hurt.
But if God is calling me to step out on faith, I rarely hesitate. So long as my parents are comfortable with the idea.
Part of me worries about when/if the day may come when God calls me to do something and what if my parents aren’t totally on board? So far that hasn’t happened… so I guess it’s all good.
i totally agree with you.
although, until my husband and i went through his affair a couple years ago, i was really judgemental about what i thought people were doing wisely or not. i was arrogant and thought i was a super christian or something. anyway, even though i didn’t have the affair, God had to work a lot of crap out of my life during the devastation of the affair. one was that i was judgemental. hard to admit…
so do what you need to do, sister. without defending yourself even. ha…which is so hard to do.
our affair story is on my blog if you want to check it out.
http://thenatos.blogspot.com/2010/03/worst-day-of-my-life_24.html
Yay. I am excited about whatever it is that God is leading you to do!
I would say that we (me) are risk takers for sure. But now that things have gotten a little murky, I am longing for the safety of “home”. The safety of a real church family with people who love us. The safety and security of the familiar. It is hard not to think of us as failures, but I know this too is a season and I am hopeful that after a little recovery and rebound we will be back up to where God would have us….wherever in the world that may be.
Gosh, I don’t know. I feel like I don’t really get to have choices and options and decisions anymore, but I didn’t realize that until right now when you asked that question. Going to have to think on this one a bit.
Ps: whatever changes you’re making, I’ll be praying you walk with confidence and grace.
I love the quote from Chronicles of Narnia about Aslan .. .
“Safe? Oh, no, he isn’t a safe lion.
But He is good.”
Such a great picture of Christ-following, don’t you think? It isn’t safe or comfortable or cushy . . . but it is most definitely always, always
GOOD.
i thrive on safe and comfortable. i am not a risk taker but i am learning to listen, obey, and take risks or at least live in the uncomfortable sometimes.
this is good. so good.