Fear keeps most people from doing things.
Moving houses.
Switching jobs.
Getting to know certain people.
Finding new communities.
I realized this summer that the entire past year has been a training ground for me. The last twelve months have been preparing me for a jump of bravery that all along I had no idea I would be asked to make.
I’ve had to do it afraid.
Courage Revisted
Last August, when (in)courage was born, Holley and Stephanie asked us to write about courage. I wrote about watching my daughter in swimming lessons at the community pool. She jumped off the diving board with courage. Not because she wasn’t scared, but because she simply showed up.
There was courage in the tears, in the struggle and in the jump.
Twelve months ago had I no idea that God would be asking ME to show the same type of courage. This summer I’ve been faced with my own diving board of sorts.
I’m a person who hates change, hates instability, has her whole week planned out by Sunday afternoon. I have never been brave enough to
do
anything.
To read the rest of my post at (in)courage, click here.
What have you had to do in the midst of fear lately?
My husband was laid off April 2009. My mom was diagnosed with cancer in October 2009. Since then, I’ve been the sole provider for our little family of 4 and provided a little financial cushion for my mom as needed.
All the while, God has been reminding us of our promise to be open to new life. We postponed having a third child for close to a year, but recently decided to jump in. I’m 13 weeks and happy, but also terrified. I am praying fiercely for my husband to find a stable position and my mom’s recovery so that I do not have to return to work too early (if at all) once this child arrives in February.
There’s no time for fear because since my hubby retired from Sr. Pastoring, he doesn’t want to deal with problems, whether it be family, friends or budget issues. I can honestly say for the past year, I have faced all kinds of circumstances; some I fearfully called them and some courage. Now my hubby praises me to family or anyone that I have done a phenomenal job of talking to anyone and talking to Utilities to get our bills down to fit our budget!! It has been wonderful hearing his compliments so that, to me, overpowers the “fear issue” for me. If you’re not pleased with the rude person in Customer Service, ask to be esculated to a Supervisor. It has saved us several dollars. I’m over the fear (thank our loving Lord) and takes time, but it is so worth it! I am positive facing the fear head on is the answer.
I find myself “jumping” every time my 10 month old tries something new. I just hold my breath and try to be brave as she stands on her own, tries to jump from items and even take her first step
Thinking about leaving a stable job is a scary thing indeed. My friends call it a brave decision. I hope so, and that it’s not a foolhardy one. Increasingly I feel called to do something different, frankly I’m not too clear on the details but I know that God has given new desires in my heart and I feel that I can’t go on like this. I’m at the edge of the pool. Wait for the big splash.
oh man!
i just wrote my post last night for tomorrow on this very thing.
the thing i was most afraid in my life ever happened when my dad died suddeny last fall. worst.thing.ever. but one gift that he’s given me in his death is this very thing. i don’t have to be afraid of anything anymore. or, if i am -like you said- do it, anyway. like, what’s my excuse anymore? the worst is over.
my theatre director in college used to yell at us ‘walk right up to the cannon’s mouth!’ and ‘do it afraid!’ i remember those barking orders more than any lines i was supposed to (but didn’t) have memorized.
my secret confession is that i wish i were more brave. i talk big but i’m still afraid of most major life stuff.
congratulations, sarah, on taking the jump off the high dive. trust the water – it’s deep and it’s safe.
xo
i’ve had to move to a new neighborhood face heart issues in my character and leave some things and ppl alone. I have a new challenge facing me which i am very afriad to deal with but i know i can’t move on if I don’t deal with it. so here goes.
My walk with the Lord came to a screeching halt a few hours after we were told that biological children were impossible. During those few hours after we were given the results of our latest failed IVF, we drove home mostly in silence and tears and I wondered if it could really true what some have said..that when man says, “No”, God says “Yes”. Then we pulled into our drive way there was a delivered box on our front steps that neither of us was expecting. I got to it first and in bold letters on the box it said ‘Welcoming Your New Baby’. It was a full size sample of formula. I had never even signed up for anything yet, not knowing if the IVF(s) would work or not. At this very point, I became so angry with God that I just couldn’t see straight. Was it not enough that I’ve just been told that I will never be able to have a baby from my body? A baby that I wanted more than the air I breathe? He (God) couldn’t have just stopped this from being delivered to my house TODAY–a little protection from my Heavenly Father, was that so much to ask?
How do you recover when the one you feel betrayed you is the very One you pray to everyday? And so I sank…sank to the bottom of a self-pity pit full of darkness and bitterness…until March, 2010. I was invited to go with a friend to watch a play at a local community theatre (which unbeknownst to me is also a church) when I heard a voice that I completely recognized, but had refused to listen to for years, say to me, “This is home. I have never left you. It’s time”. Taking that leap of faith, coming back to a relationship with God, trusting Him again, knowing that He still loves me even though I am the one who turned my back…this has been the greatest ‘doing it afraid’ I’ve ever done in my life…and let me tell ya, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I have had to learn to trust the Lord in the midst of Haiti’s large earthquake and aftermath. I have many whys after helping on 2 two week medical trips to the epicenter. Why did a good friend have to loose 3 college age kids-who were touching their world for the Lord? Why did a country already struggling so much have to be hit with such a devastating ‘natural’ disaster. But my faith and the faith of countless others is growing amongst the questions. He remains faithful.
Lately it feels as though I am doing everything in the midst of fear… but I’ve found that if I just keep trusting in Him I can slog through the muck and keep going because I know He has a plan for all I’m wading through (even when it doesn’t seem like it)… keep calm, focus on Him and carry on.
After reading these posts I’m learning that courage to me is different than the courage of all these other brave people. My courage is simply continuing to grow my faith with my children even though my husband does not share our faith (but he will one day with the grace of God!)
And it is through your faith that God will bring your husband into relationship with Him. ~Believing with you, Carol
I don’t know as anybody would see this as courageous but it took a step of faith to accept being the prayer coordinator for our an organization called PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) which ministers to women of all ages whom are or have been in some way or another been part of military life. And which in the military base where my husband was stationed b4 retiring after 23 yrs of service. I say it takes courage because in the midst of me accepting this position my prayer life has been tested & tried. many might think, “Oh she’s a woman of faith ready to tackle whatever storms come her way.” Or “I bet she spends hours on her knees praying and interceding.” Well…..No, not even close to the truth. So am I scared of this new adventure when I don’t feel prepared for it? Hmmm let’s see…Like…Yeah! But through it all I know that as I diminish and put myself aside, God will take His rightful place & shine through me. Then I even dared to say “Yes” to God calling me also to lead a bible study in the same organization when I feel so lil’ as He calls me to bigger things & higher heights. Which I never thought or even imagined He would call me to do when I didn’t feel adequate nor qualified.
I fear what if the path I’m on with Him isn’t right? What if in my searching for a church community I feel connected to–I miss out on something I’m supposed to get. I fear that my quest might confuse my kids, but I know that my relationship with Him is ultimately what is most important. . .
Walking through fear is right where I am at. The past 7mnths I have had Vertigo. It has been a challenge depending on my son & husband to do for me. Acceptance, everyday praying for a bit of relief, I do love to write but it was hard do to spinning & being dizzy. So in turn I had to sit with myself & really get with the Lord in a way I had forgotten how to do. Listening, being okay with being home, but fear would overcome me & I would leave a hole for the enemy. Long story short~ this past weekend I decided to go to an event alone. Meet new women~ get my make up done. I posted on my facebook page this” Sometimes~ I am in awe at what happens in my life~ the way God Blesses my family & I~ I truly believe everyone should do one thing new if not once a day then once a week, month whatever you’re comfort level is~ You might BE surprised~ I walked through my fear of people, being alone, I had forgot how much fun it is to be with others. That I should not be so hard on myself. It was an amazing day with beautiful people.. My husband sent me a text are you having fun? I replied yes, it’s amazing with Faith in God how much I can walk through yes, I am having fun.”
I really stepped outside my comfort zone, my husband & I ended up coming to the event for about a hour, then we had dinner. Something we do not ever really do~ fear walking away from life shutting down~ faith in God~ learning to live again be a family again. See my spouse & I married young our son is going to be 19. I said that this is our time God had a plan we went through all the bad stuff to enjoy the mature years. Everyday we are maturing, learning something new. I learned that I am not alone even when I step outside my comfort zone.. I have pictures of the day~ the day is forever etched in my heart.
Learning to have courage to share my past hurts and poor choices with a fellow believer; to find healing from the pain and shame, and to fully accept God’s forgiveness and love for me.
Fear has laced every thought and action since I was a child.
It has poisoned every relationship and every monumental action.
But God waited patiently and is still waiting.
Because on top of the looming mountain of circumstance is a view to behold HIS merciful HANDIWORK.
By FAITH He has lead me to take the first steps away from fear
By FAITH He has moved me up to the mountain top
By FAITH everything is possible
For FAITH and FEAR cannot exist in the same heart
As an eagle, you must keep your eyes facing the “Son/sun” and not on the enemy that prowls behind you, because it cannot face the glory of GOD and will quickly go away.
I remember the first time of climbing that “high dive”. It seemed so high! A line of people waited for me to jump, so there was no going back down that ladder! So I did it! Just like that! I jumped straight down, knowing the deep water would actually keep me from hitting bottom.
I think I meet a lot of my days this way. Always trusting God is there in the deep water. We just learned last week of a devestating flood in Leh, the foot hills of the Himalayas where we are supposed to go in only 29 days. Our friends and church/school are safe, but what does God have in store for us? Can we go? We’ll leave it to his planning! Am I afraid…sometimes. But that is what makes me trust Him more!
I found this recently:
“When God leads you to the edge of a cliff, trust Him, fully, and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He’ll catch you when you fall, or He’ll teach you how to fly!”
I instantly applied this to my faith & where I’ve been at with my sons, especially over the past 2 years, which has increasingly brought me closer & closer to the edge of that cliff. As my oldest son had gotten laid off of work a year & a half ago, I prayed for that job, reaffirming to him that, THAT job was right around the corner. I too felt like i was teetering on the edge of the cliff, biting nails, knees shaking, but staying calm & encouraging my son. While on the homefront, walking beside a family whose son was diagnosed with a brain tumor on the brain stem; standing again on the edge of that cliff biting nails, knees shaking, encouraging them that the God we love will heal him & he’ll be off to college this Fall. But that’s not what God had planned one month later we had jumped off that cliff into the arms of a Savior at a funeral. While dealing with such tremendous grief & “why Lord?”; my own saga with my son turned worse; a life with the woman he loved, planned to marry, & even changed from searching jobs to going back to college, ended, leaving him in the throes of where am I going next?, what am I going to do? and no woman to walk beside him. It may seem trivial to some, but the heart ache that no mother can touch & heal left me once again on the edge of that cliff, knees shaking, heart breaking, sobs that would never seem to end, saying “God I have to trust in you, only You have the answers to all the ‘whys?’,& I have to trust that you will give me the words to say to my son.”; then talk to him & say trust God, when the God he thought he was trusting pulled a fast one on him. I wish I could say it has had a happy ending for my son, it’s better, but from my son’s stand point he’s still miserable; he’s moved, gotten a job—more or less started life all over. And this mom is still in the arms of her Lord & Savior as I wait for my precious Pop-In-Love to have surgery for Colon Cancer. And watching from a distance as the mother that can’t seem to close the door on her son’s room, thinking as all the kids go back to college, why not my son? I am speachless to her but my heart racks with sobs as deep as the Grand Canyon for her heart.
As I write this I think, wow most of this has happened in the last 3 months, I am faint with the love & power of a Father who holds me close & even covers my ears when the storms becomes to frightening.
I hope & pray (and mean that!), that if you find yourself on the edge of that cliff, Jump!, our Father will be there, to catch you or teach you how to soar.
It’s taken courage for me to leave my fulltime job and follow what I believe God wants me to do – be more available to our grandchildren. Lots of things have changed financially and I thank God every single day for His provision for everything that we need. He has never failed us! God is kind of amazing like that, isn’t He?!!!!!
Asking to teach and take over the Missions segment of VBS at our church was a last minute request of me since they had no one to do it. Knowing that I would have to face all those kids every day was a combination of fear and excitement. Several thoughts began to swarm into my head…what if I can’t get those kids under control as I am not a teacher, what type of lessons should I plan out?(this was in addition to our curriculum, so there was no lesson plan) what if my mind totally blanks out and I freeze up? (public speaking is the no.1 fear!)
I love the title of this post, doing it afraid. Yes indeed, for it isn’t confidence in ourselves, because we are so human and fallable, but it is placing our faith and confidence in the one who is able to do all things, beyond all we ask or think! He takes our feeble attempts, and little mustard seeds and turns them into eternal treasures, and you know what 2 fish and 5 loaves fed!
So I trust in the Lord to work through me, thru my willing heart.
I learned not to fear the loss of my Mother. We had a falling out over untruths and hurt feelings. I had hoped that she would realize how words can hurt and destroy relationships but what I learned is she is too stubborn to admit wrongs done but I also learned I can live a happier and more satisfying life without the drama she brought to it. It took eight months to finally come to terms that although I will reestablish a relationship with my Mother it will be on my terms this time. I am not desperate for her love which makes me stronger.
What have I learned this past year? I learned I am a perfectionist. I don’t want to do anything I don’t know how to do well. If I can’t do it right I won’t show anyone until I can. That means constantly being fearful of failure, abandonment, ridicule, comparison’s (mostly by me with others who seem to be able to do everything). It also means I am not really trusting God to do anything! If I can’t do it…I don’t. So where in there am I trusting God? So courage for me today is accepting the volunteer position of Community Relations Coordinator (in my area), for Operation Christmas Child! I CAN’T DO IT! I have no training, no experience, not a clue. So I am trusting God to provide what I need when I need it, to put people in place to help me out with this, to go before me and prepare those He has picked to be a part of this. And every time I feel a little sick about the whole thing “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” rings loud in my ears.
To trust in God in every circumstance even grief. I recently became pregnant at 38 years old and lost the baby at 8 weeks. We have a little 5 year old girl who we so dearly wanted to bless with a little brother or sister. We of course wanted another son or daughter as well. I am standing on the cliff now asking for a complete healing for my family and for our hearts as well. I know God as a healer and am waiting for that complete healing that only he can give.
I have been speaking the truth about my experiences in the occult, talking in front of people (which is a real stretch because even though at one point I was a singer, talking is a whole nother ball of wax). I’ve been putting my thoughts out into the “ether” where people can have free access to them. God has been challenging me to jump in spite of fear quite a bit in this last year.
Billie, my heart and prayers are with you and your family.
So, so many wonderful women here, facing fear with their faith. God bless you and keep moving you, closer and closer to Him.
I left work 9 years ago to be home for my girls, ending up homeschooling one of them with special needs, which now I can see alienated the other. And with a spouse who hasn’t come to Jesus yet, who is in need of healing himself and unable to interact with any of us. It’s all very messy and complicated and hard to describe. I face the fear that I’ve messed everything up each day, trusting instead that He is guiding me and will bring healing and restoration into all of this.
Christmas eve, 2009, our car died. My husband was a pizza delivery driver, no car, no work. We lived on our savings, while looking for a car we could afford. The savings dwindled away, while our car search showed no results. We sent in our tax return, and lived on that, while still looking. As that dwindled away, I moved into my mothers, while my hubby and youngest son continued to get things turned around where we had been living. While we were yet only 8 days late with the rent, the landlord sent the sheriff with an eviction notice.
My hubby and youngest son (21) moved up to moms with me and found jobs. Mom helped my hubby buy a car, and we’ve paid her back, but we’re still trying to come up with the money to rent a home. My oldest son (26), and youngest son were going to move in with us, and help out. My oldest son passed away, the morning of August 5th, and I just found out last night, our youngest plans on moving in with a friend, in the state we just lived in.
Adjusting to all the changes has been difficult. Accepting the death of my oldest son, is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Throwing the move of my youngest son back to Kentucky, from Missouri, has knocked the breath out of me.
It seems with every year, I am learning a new lesson. Last year it was about “being still…..” Psalm 46:10 spoke to my heart like I had never heard God speak to me before. This year it has been about friendships adn relationships. After years of many friends, I have learned to have the courage to say what I will allow and what I won’t. When you come to a point in your relationship with God, that He truly is all you need, then there is no excuse to allow anything other than His best! He created friendships to be full of love and support. This year I had to decide what I allowed into my heart and what I did not need.
Hi Sarah,
I can identify; my father passed away in April at the age of 100 1/2 + one day and life has radically changed for me — since I was his full-time caregiver for some period of time and still watched over his situation even when he was in a private care home where he passed away. Plus I’m dealing with some health issues of my own which are not totally explained. I’ve also had two friends pass away since my father’s death. Courage not being one of my attributes, I can relate to how difficult it is to think of stepping off that board — I’m not there yet.
I have had to choose to love my husband each day – without going into details, that’s actually been pretty scary.
I have also had to face some moving fears. Our landlord is selling our house and basically gave us 3 hours notice that it was going to be photographed by a realtor – we didn’t even know it was being listed. Now, due to past mistakes, we must move to an area we can afford. This means sacrificing space, and grass, and security. While the areas we are contemplating are not bad drug and gang areas, they are areas which are not known for much ‘community’. I am afraid that my children will not have a safe place to play. I am afraid that there will not be a lot of Christian familes nearby with children for my children. And, I am afraid for those nights when my husband must work overnight shifts at the fire station; when I will be alone and more phyiscally vulnerable. But, I have to do it. And, as my step-mother reminded me, there’s nothing that God and I cannot handle together. So true, yet my human fear remains…
After 26 years with the same company, basically doing the same job for the VP of Sales, I ‘ve decided to change careers to a career where I can serve the Lord daily! This is a huge step for me, out of my comfort zone! I didn’t even have a resume!! Now, I have one and I have sent it out to several organizations to see if my prayers will be answered! My fear is there! Am I doing the right thing? I think so….I know so….God is in charge!
Wow this post has been so inspiring- story after story of courage in God’s daughters and His eternal faithfulness. That is so encouraging to me, I am in my season of fear- in march this year my toddler was struck with encephalitis, we nearly lost her little life – the fear, the struggle , the anger, the opportunity to press into God. Daily we have struggles of her recovery, somedays looking into completelyunfamiliar eyes, others dreadful agony as her tiny brain tricks her into feeling pain, frustration as we try to re- learn basic skills.
To know that this was NOT a form of punishment or revenge from Him for all my inadequacies. It was about faith and trust
You’d think that being I’m into my autumn years Past 65, I’d be all settled & secure. NOT.. But by the Grace of God and His “earthly messengers” I find strength to face each day with courage and hope. Even in the midst of many in my family not being on track with Him. that is my prayer that God will give me the strength & wisdom to be His witness to loved ones and associates in my everyday walk in life. Like some one posted in email I “aspire to inspire before I expire”
I’m getting bolder in sharing my faith at work. It takes courage and strength that only comes from the Lord working in me to do this at my jobs. I have such a burden for the lost and it’s heartbreaking watching my co-workers live unholy lifestyles that grieve the heart of God and please the enemy.
Stephanie
knowing consequences could be bad…..but,letting someone fail, fall down if that is what God requires of them, not standing in the way of what God needs to do, letting Him do it, asking What are you doing God, and how can I do it with you………..scary!
“God has not given us a spirit of FEAR but of POWER and LOVE and a SOUND MIND”
After my husband of 20 years divorced me for another woman, I memorized this verse to get me through my mind numbing days. I was in shock and frozen by fear, unable to focus and falling into a deep depression. But God is faithful and through it all He gave me the strength I needed to take each day as it came, moment by moment, step by step. I learned that I have a severe case of OCD and Anxiety disorder. I found Christian counselors and a phychologist who helped me put things into perspective and gave me the proper medication to help me focus on the issues at hand. With God’s grace, I was able to help our two sons, then ages 12 and 17, adjust to life without their father, a father who had been their hero in more ways than you can imagine.
It’s been two years now since our youngest son found out about the affair by reading emails and the divorce has been finalized. My biggest fear was that my husband would leave me because my first marriage ended the same way, but my betrayal that time was from my best friend. God has helped me to face my fears and I give Him all the glory and honor because He will always love me unconditionally and He will always be Faithful!
i searched and found myself and began sharing a smile, good thoughts and blessings through my more than a month old blog. enough with carrying someone else’ baggages of insecurities which weighed me down too. more with spreading inspirations and good cheer
oh boy.
in the midst of fear?
so many things,it seems… but most recently (the last year) writing that letter (the one to his wife) and then facing the fear that she may never respond (and she hasn’t) or she may respond in a burst of anger and words that cut to my core (and i wouldn’t altogether blame her, though i’d rather she not)…
that’s the biggest, most recent.
and you encourage me, sarah.
to keep looking fear in the face when i’d like to turn from it and run.
often, you point me back to Him.
thanks.
Teaching children about courage is not easy. My family loves the Alexander’s Amazing Adventures by Linda and Richard Eyre, check it out here: http://www.valuesparenting.com/monthly_value.php
Courage is their value of the month for August! It’s a great series, and I love to hear my kids singing the songs, quoting the story line of this young man seeking courage, who realizes that he can’t have courage until he knows fear! Awesome!
I love your message, and sisterhood! Thank you for touching my heart!
My husband is getting his Masters of Divinity. This is a 3 yr. program if you go full time. For the past 3 years he has been going to school almost full time and working full time and leading a ministry as the children’s pastor. Our 3 young children (2,4,6) and myself would go days with seeing him for only minutes at a time, and this was really hard on us all. I am a nurse. During all this, I was only working one day a week because I think it is very important for our kids to be home with us and not a sitter. About a year ago my husband and I (very reluctantly) started praying about me going back to work full time and him staying home with the kids and going to school full time. God opened all the doors. Before I knew it, I had a full time job at an excellent hospital as an ICU nurse. I’ve never done intensive care before and the thought makes me so nervous I want to throw up. But God’s fingerprints are all over it. I am scared. Everyday, I am scared and I want out. I talk to God a lot about this. I know this is what He wants. I know it is good for my family and good for me. It forces me to cling to Him. Please pray for me. Please pray that I will have courage and glorify Him through my courage and faith. My critical care training is just about over, and next week I will be on my own. Did I mention I feel like I’m going to throw up?? He is faithful and I am not alone. Thank you for your prayers and your blog