Wednesday August 4th, 2010
A few months ago we heard God speak. We fought it, we bucked it. But then we prayed about it and we fasted and we prayed some more. We talked to close friends, wise friends and caring friends.
And then we decided to be obedient, even if it hurt.
Here are my thoughts about God asking us to leave our church:
Has God asked you to do something difficult lately? Would you pray for us?
Sarah, it’s fun to see your face.
As you know, we’re in the middle of enormous change, so I can relate. And I know that God will catch us . . . and God will catch you. Even thought it’s scary when we leap at least we know we won’t crash . . .
I applaud y’all, Sarah! Timing is so perfect in making a decision like this and you sound so peaceful about it. I
God has given me peace about leaving a friendship I have had with a lady of approximately fourteen years. She has started verbally critizing every where I eat, who I talk to, and she has a put down negative spirit. ..and I confronted her re: her treatment toward me. My hubby says I should have done it a long time ago. She always said “that’s what I do, I can run down who I want to and I’m not going to change.” I’m one of the nicest, giving person you ever saw, but the put downs, oh no. I feel so wonderful obeying God on this decision and I know y’all will on your church decision to leave!! God bless you on this one and you have our prayers!
I’ll pray for you, Sarah. I felt compelled to leave a church once, 20 years ago…..and I felt uneasy about it too because it was the focus of my social life at that time and I felt lonely for a quite awhile after I left. But soon after, within the next couple of years, that pastor’s wife died of cancer and the pastor actually told the church that if they’d had more faith she wouldn’t have died (and instead of seeing he was knee-jerk reacting to his own loss, they took that to hurt and questioned their faith), that pastor married another woman within three months of his wife passing and left the church,the church members all shocked and upset that he would show such disrespect for wife whom they thought he’d adored and that he would abandon them without notice – one Sunday he announces he his married and is leaving the next day, and the new pastor was brought in from out of state and was arrested for child molestation within a year of coming there….the church broke into pieces and there was heartache and blame and disillusion everywhere. We were spared most of that pain by already having left a couple years before. NOT that that is going to happen to your church! but I thank God I wasn’t there to experience all that. I don’t do change well either but I am so grateful that I wasn’t there in the midst of all that drama. I might have been one of those who became bitter and disillusioned completely like so many did.
Be obedient Sarah and God will bless you. Just think of Abraham being called out of his town to follow God and what happened from that obedience! You just never know why you’re being asked to do or not do something sometimes but God is good and you can trust Him.
Obedience is better than sacrifice. Stepping out in obedience and faith is the best decision you could ever make. God will give you even more peace. We left a church after years and years of them eating pastors alive. Long story, but after 14 years we are back at that church. It is not the same church (or else we wouldn’t be there). You will know when you are in God’s will. There’s no better place to be. Blessings to you and your family.
praying for you! leaving a church family can be so hard, but when you find the new one and when you hit that point where you realize that it is now family too…that is beautiful. praying for that to happen!
It is always hard to follow decisions like this especially when it affects our comfort zone but if the decisions are bathed in prayer you will be clear and be at peace. I pray that you will find the ‘church’ that will help you grow and be all that you need to be as a family.(Can I suggest you find one with a growing strong youth group since your girls are heading that way some day?)
take care and thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing. What you said about God asking for more and more faith really resonated with me. We’ve dealt with infertility for nearly 5 years, and it has been an extremely trying experience. When I thought I had reached my limit, we ended up getting pregnant. It completely shocked us – but we were also overjoyed. Then when I was just beginning my second trimester – on Mother’s Day – we found out we lost the baby for no apparent reason. It. was. torture. It still is torture. But I can certainly say that God has grown my faith beyond what I imagined it could be, and I can see that someday I’ll think of this as a good thing. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much. I will be thinking of your family as you transition to a new church. I hope you find a new “home” quickly!
Heidi,
My hubby and I have not started trying to have kids yet. Still trying to get our “ducks in a row”. heheh. But I have often though, “What if when we DO decide we want kids, it doesn’t happen right away?” I mean when we talk we are like, “So I think we should have kids in about 2 years.” And we say it as if we had full control over it but the truth is that we don’t have much control at all.
Well, all that to say that I said a prayer for you and your family as I read your post. And I hope that God will bless you with some little ones soon. I know that no matter what happens, he will sustain you through it. Whatever his plans are for your family, I’m sure they are great!
Thank you, Nikki!
Definitely know what this is like Sarah. Praying for you through this season!
And have a great vacation
Sarah, you have to stand on the Word of God that says He knows the plans that He has for us, plans of good and not of evil. You may not fully understand why, but trust Him that he does know what is best for you and your family. It could very well be that you need to move so that God can use you and your husband in a greater way and where you are most needed at this time. Trust him with all your heart and don’t lean to your own understanding. You’re already acknowledging him, but trust him.
Sarah thanks so much for sharing. You have such a beautiful heart, thank you for being you.
sarah, i am at work and only was able to watch the first part of your video. i had to leave a church several years ago due to spiritual abuse issues. turns out, there’s this secret club of us now who have a familiar look about us when we run into each other. it also turns out there was some corruption within the entire system of the ‘family of churches’, as they called themselves. after working through it, i can now only thank god for that experience because it was one more way he drew me closer to himself, even though it really signified the ‘beginning of the end’ for me (end of myself, that is). when god called me away from there, it was so sweet and so gentle, ‘mary kathryn, come away with me. let *me* define you. let *me* show you who you are and who i am.’
anyway, i am thankful that it doesn’t sound like you have been through spiritual abuse and nothing negative has happened. sometimes i don’t know why god is saying ‘come on’ until i get there. the answer may not be clear right away but you’ll find it in hindsight. i think sometimes we think something bad has to happen in order to perpetuate change. sometimes, though, god’s just saying, ‘it’s time now. let’s move on.’
bless you and your family as you go, sweet sister.
xo
Hi Sarah,
You are in my prayers. We have left a church BUT had another to go to. I am sure it is hard. I am not even going to try to write something that pretends to sugarcoat it or make you feel better because I can’t. Sometimes we just have to wait on God. I am there. Waiting on what he wants me to learn. Being patient. It sucks but necessary. Love to you from Iowa.
Hi Sarah, thanks for sharing with us!
Although I have never attended the same church for 12 years, I have felt the pain of what it is like to leave a church, with nowhere to go, and leaving behind my entire social life, ministries, and my mentors.
It was SO hard. It took my husband and I a year to find another church and we got to know the different churches of Orange County during that time
That was a hard year but God did so much reorganization in our hearts of what our relationship with Him was supposed to be based around – looking back, we really needed that year of purging.
We finally settled at Rock Harbor (where we actually met in college)and we have been there since January. It is so great to finally feel like we are home; we love it so much!
I will be praying for you journey with your family. I went through the same thing a couple times as a kid with my family…and your friend was right; your kids WILL be okay
Blessings to you guys…
Sarah,
We did the exact same thing in the summer of 2004. All we knew was that God had said to my husband about church “What I want to do with you I cannot do here.” It was a small church plant that we had invested 5 years into. I think it made it harder that it was small because we had helped fill in the gaps there, especially my husband who was an elder of the church. We had no idea where we were going. I think that was the hard part is not being able to tell people where we were going. It made it look like something was wrong with where we were. I could see the pain in people’s eyes when we told them we were leaving. But we knew we had to go… so we did.
It was one of the best moves we had ever made. God took us to a Vineyard church where He asked us to sit and soak up all the revelations that He wanted to bring to us. It was an amazing, life-changing time. It was the place where He invited me to step into a speaking/teaching role with women for the first time in my life. I was amazed as I walked through 12 weeks of teaching women the book of Captivating.. I was astounded at how He came each week and overwhelmed me with His words for those women. It was a true life-bearing season. Our children adjusted beautifully and some of them were teenagers. God just takes care of all those details when He moves you on.
We were there until 2007 when God moved us out of town. I still miss the worship and the powerful words that were spoken in that little church….
Now we find ourselves in another interesting situation. We are in a small town and our church of 3 years ended. Yep it just stopped meeting. We have no church to attend… yet we are thriving in our intimacy with God. We know this season has it’s purpose in our lives.
I thought it might bless you to hear another’s story of how God came in similar circumstances.
Hey Sarah,
My hubby and i know this feeling very well… currently in the midst of trying to discern God’s voice. We especially love the church we are in right now and find it hard to believe that God may be asking us to move (cities and churches) soon… I can resonate with you… trusting God is such a beautiful thing! But difficult
i love the line: “when it all is said and done, we have to obey God. . .i am more scared about not obeying Him that what might happen in the future that we don’t know about.” i totally agree with you on this. . .it is what i am living right now. obeying when it doesn’t make sense is something that is incredibly difficult. something that makes us look crazy ((and FEEL crazy)). but that peace of the Lord that follows that obedience completely outweighs the difficulty and the crazy. sometimes i wonder if God is all about commanding obedience when it doesn’t make sense for us “control freaks ((me DEFINITELY included))”. . .
so proud of you guys! i will definitely be praying for strong encouragement and peace as you guys walk out this obedience. . .
I just need to let you write my response for me! OMG! We are in the EXACT SAME boat. It is SO weird. I am gonna show all my church friends your video because they keep asking us what they have done to offend us and we keep telling them nothing…it is just an obedience factor, but they don’t get it.
Thanks for letting me know I am not alone!
i like change, but i don’t like crossroads. the point where decisions have to be made to go left or right. the point where we can’t always weigh outcomes because of the unknown. the point where faith hits the road.
i was just sharing with my friend that it’s usually at the crossroads where we have such a readiness to listen to God…we lean into Him more to put our ears up close to the wall, attentively awaiting for His reponse on the other side and sometimes all we hear is the breath of our Savior…and that’s when He is calling us to trust and wait.
Praying God’s guidance. I won’t tell you how long it took us to find our new home church after 14 years at the previous one…it may exhaust you! BUT it was not what I expected. Nothing I would have chosen. But everything God knew we needed at this time in our lives. And we have been overwhelmed in all the right ways.
Praying for you and your family as you step out in obedience. God will bless you for making this sacrifice and He will guide you as you move forward. It’s always exciting to know you’re in the midst of God’s will!
praying that God will give you and chad the revelation for this next season of your life. that He would allow you to be planted in a house where you both will grow and walk in a deeper way with God. =]
Change is scary. You know what the Lord said to you and your husband so you can have peace. No peace if you disobeyed, right?
Our family’s big change is starting up a church. First service is Aug. 22, and we have do idea if one person will come or 10 or 100. We haven’t promoted it according to current “church plant” wisdom. We’re going with God’s Book, kinda Acts 2.
Pray for us as we pray for you. Thanks.
Wow Sarah! I prayed for God to give you,Chad and your daughters clear direction and guidance to your new church before I wrote this note to you. Since God has asked this of you and you are choosing to obey Him…You and your family are right in the center of His will and that’s the safest place to be.
Blessings
Stephanie
Sarah,
There seems to be a common thread among many of those who have replied here… There are many who have experienced the same thing. About six years ago, my wife and I felt God calling us out of our “church” too. It was a great place, great people, great pastor, etc. Interestingly, or perhaps, not so interestingly, many people were concerned about our move, some thought we were even “back sliding”.
We ended up forming a small home fellowship with a handful of other families and have been meeting together ever since; a la Acts chapter 2. We really wanted to live a shared life with others, daily, truly being the church. It has been the most powerful, intimate and amazing time of spiritual growth we’ve ever had. And we both had been sitting in “church” for twenty-plus years.
Ultimately, whether you find another “church”, fellowship with others at home or enjoy a season of just you, your husband and children… God knows exactly what you all need, and that’s exciting. Follow the sweet voice of our Father and you’ll be right where you need to be!
Peace,
Kevin
I like the videos.
I’ll be praying.
Sometimes jumping and leaping can create the biggest wave.
It’s better to follow the still, quiet voice than the loud, booming ones…
Isaiah 55:12 “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”
Go Markley’s!!!
WOW, We are right there with you… God’s told us to put our house up for sale in Feb., not knowing why, and we did… We’ve since been called to serve in leadership training of young adults in South Africa and are scheduled to leave the 1st of OCT. Well, our house is still for sale but God keeps confirming His directing!! My husband, my 10 & 12 yr old boys and myself, know that we know that we’re headed into God’s perfect plan yet in the nature MUCH opposition! We know God is more than able and your situation and feelings rang true with me too!! We are not our own and live for His purpose and plans…so we choose our course and choose to allow God to order EVERY STEP!! Expecting miracles for both of us!!
Sweet Sarah. . .you are so precious. I have loved all the comments and pray that they are a blessing to you and your family. I love your obedient heart and pray that your church family will understand and bless you and hold you up as you leave. I had to leave my church too . . .and not for another church. ! Kept thinking that it would only be short termed, I would be back, but that hasn’t happened yet. Still, He is with me. And I know He is with you too! love, deb
Hi Sarah, I haven’t commented in a while, but this definitely struck a chord with me. I feel like I could’ve taped this video about 4 months ago, since my husband and I were going through the exact same thing. We had met at the Bible study that became our church 8 years ago and basically helped start it from the ground up. We were both in leadership of the men’s and women’s ministry, worship team, prayer team, everything. We met all our best friends there. But. For almost all of last year, John felt the tug to go, but I didn’t feel it till around Nov. Once we were in sync, we then started to struggle with God over it. We prayed and cried and fasted and talked over everything, just like you said. In the end, we had to go because we had to be obedient, just like you said. It was also the biggest (and hardest) decision of our marriage. We hadn’t checked out other churches first, but we were prepared for a long and arduous journey to find one. We sought the blessing and release of our pastors (some of our best friends) and headed out.
And we are already reaping the fruit of our obedience! We only searched for a church for one month, but in that month we 1) got pregnant (after 3 1/2 years of infertility) 2) my husband got a very-hard-to-get-job and 3) grew closer as a couple than we ever imagined. Maybe those things aren’t related, but we are still in awe at the blessings that seemed to just be waiting around the corner of the biggest step of faith we ever took. We found a new church (3 days after we got the positive pregnancy test and the job offer!) and are so enjoying being embraced by a new community of future-family!
So, yeah, just wanted to thank you for your honesty (as always) and encourage you and believe with you for the great things ahead.
Yay! I love that you are so willing to put yourself out there. Yup, it is scary and hard and frustrating and wonderful. Not that I’m trying to put words in your mouth – but that’s how it is for us when we are facing “follow, or don’t follow”. You are right, ultimately there is no choice other then obeying God. That process is crazy sometimes though. I will totally pray for you and for your family. That you can be wise with your girls and talk them through it all. That you and your Hubs will be solid and on the same page.
The difficult obey situation we are going through right now is learning and living self control. To love those who are acting unlovable and to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Those things are proving very difficult to us during this transition and so we pray.
Been holding you in prayer for so many months… and so thankful for your example of following, obeying, taking the next step… even when it hurts.
{love you.}
Sarah,
I’m very proud of you and your husband for stepping out, being obedient, and having faith that He will see you through. Leaving a church is a big thing, especially when you’ve been a part of it for as long as you and your family have.
It might be a pain having to go from church to church each week until you feel God has lead you to the one that is a good fit for you, but the most important thing is that you are consistently going. God sees this, and I know he is SO proud of you as a result. It would be so easy to just say, “I’m tired of this” and then slack off or not attend services at all. Yet here you are, being dilligent in the midst of it and continuing to press on. That in and of itself speaks volumes.
Many prayers are being sent your way, that God will see you through this, and I know in my heart that He has AWESOME things in store for you and your family for choosing to willingly follow Him no matter what.
Holy cow, Sarah. I know this is such a huge deal for y’all. I remember us talking about your church when you came to visit. Wow… But I know you and The Chad both have hearts of love for your church – and I know you’ve given much time and energy to it. And I know that you will give as much to the next church – and they will be blessed – and you will be blessed too! Love you!!
[...] “when it all is said and done, we have to obey God. . .i am more scared about not obeying Him that what might happen in the future that we don’t know about.” -sarah markley [...]