I told her not to, but she did it anyway.
My four-year-old poured out all the shower gel in the bathtub yesterday morning to create a “bubble bath” or a “bubble fest” or something like that. She was floating in her own sudsy disobedience when I found her. And while the strong scent of aloe-cucumber-orchid wafted through the morning house, I got her out of the tub, I dried her off {without speaking much because I was so angry} and dressed her. After we talked about why she was going to have a consequence, I sent her to her room until we were supposed to leave for our morning errands.
She. Did. Not. Like. That.
Squeals and wails while I changed the laundry. Screams while I folded a few clothes. More screeches while I watered the plants on the deck.
We got ready to leave and I collected her from her room. We hugged and prayed and talked about why she’d had a consequence.
The upstairs still smells of orchids and I’m pretty sure I need to scrub bubble residue from the bottom of the bathtub.
Some consequences are intentionally doled out by Mama or by God, even. And some are just a part of life. And sometimes the line gets blurry. But all disobedience reaps consequences in some way.
A month ago I took the girls to the beach. When it was time to go {note: leave when three bus-loads of middle schoolers descend on the small cove you’ve picked out for the morning}, my eight-year-old was still floating in the waves. I yelled out to her, “We Are Leaving!!”
She looked at me and nodded.
I gave her the Head-Shake. The Wave. The Stern Look That Means Come Here Right Now. I gave her the Thumbs Toward the Parking Lot gesture. And then I repeated all of the above as I packed up the umbrella and the sandy towels.
Still she floated in the waves.
So I handed my youngest the bucket of sand toys and began to walk toward the car. Hope saw me go but didn’t believe I would actually leave her. She floated, and floated and apparently waited for me to call her again. My thought: life itself will dole out the consequence for disrespect.
And it did.
As I turned my back the second time, I heard her wail from the water. She stood up, sandy from eyes to toes and screamed. While she’d been floating in disobedience, an unexpected wave had sneaked up on her from behind and pounded her chest first into the beach. Sand in her eyes, sand down her swim suit, and sand e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
I hated to admit it but life had appointed her a sandy consequence for not listening.
We brushed off what we could and headed to the outdoor showers, but she lived the rest of the afternoon in beachy discomfort.
I didn’t need to discipline her any further.
Either way, I’m trying to teach my girls that it’s always better to be obedient. And this whole summer I’ve been trying to model it to them as we are transitioning out of our church. Obedience when it doesn’t feel good.
Obedience when it feels so much better to just float.
Have you gotten “rocked” by a wave lately?
Wonderful post. I admire how calm you stayed during both these situations. Thanks for sharing.
Lauri
thanks lauri! not always calm for sure. frustrated definitely. =)
I love to read your posts about motherhood. Each day there is a test that our children put us up to. It is fantastic to hear about your struggles and see that I am not the only mom that gets pushed to my limits on a regular basis. I wish that I had more patience with my children and it something I work on every day. Thank you for sharing!
you are absolutely not alone. =)
My wave has been a relationship that is very close to me. Words said about me…words sting into my heart and break it into many shattered pieces. Disbelief of the scene and the total lack of remorse from the one who said the words.
My wave knocked me down…hit me hard and has almost drowned me.
I struggle for air each day. Praying that when calmness comes I will have the ability to forgive.
i’m so sorry sharon. praying for you right now…
thank you~ my heart has been very hurt it has been almost a year now and the one who hurt me was someone who ‘should’ be very close to me and isn’t…only makes excuses for the lack of ‘remorse and criticism.’
we love our children, so we discipline them. if we discipline correctly, that our children know this, and they live in our love.
i get rocked by waves regularly.
when God disciplines me i KNOW that it is because he loves me. and though the discipline hurts, it is good to be near his love.
isn’t that the truth?
You are speaking my language…and my life, girl.
Thank you for sharing your life and what God is doing in it.
thank you julie =)
Ooooo I love your blog today, Sarah
I am definitely enjoying our private time vs. all the public time since we have now since we have retired after 38 years in Senior Pastoring. When we got to an event, I get rocked by a wave which is “a drama queen” still trying to win my hubby over to gain ALL of his attention. He likes to go to the event and just be “him” and me “me.” We still get invited to other Retiree Celebration Events or birthday events. I see right through the drama and it’s annoying, but Sharon O commented above, some day I will just forgive and overlook it.
P.S. I really sooo enjoy the private life…it has been so wonderful, but I guess we will always have the waves to remind us.
oh wow, carol. drama isn’t my favorite either. =(
Haha! I always think it’s interesting when these situations occur. I feel justified as a parent, that if they had just listened to me they wouldn’t have had that happen. But then I feel a little sober when I wonder what I wouldn’t have had to endure if I would have listened to God the first time.
Great post, Sarah! Hope you have a great weekend.
yeah, i think about that too…
Sometimes those natural consequences (divinely given), can be the best teaching tool! I know that has been true in my own life…
i totally agree!
Whenever my kids would/do disobey, it can make me frustrated and angry. But deeper down, it hurts me that they don’t trust me enough to know what I’m asking them to do is best for them and for others. Just like it must hurt God when I don’t trust Him enough to listen and obey what He asks me to do. I’ll keep trying to, and will keep getting reminded to, by those consequential waves!
love, deb
oh i know. i know.
Great post Sarah! Love that you see lessons in everything!
Amazing picture. Amazing writing. Always inspiring.
I’m trying to blog again. Thanks to you, my sweet cousin.
Great post, Sarah. I’ve been on the receiving end myself of consequences of my disobedience. Something that I’ve shared with my kids (who are all high school/college age now) is that it’s so much easier to obey their dad & I whom they can physically see now…. than later when I’m not around how can I expect them to obey God (that they can’t physically see)?
My heart lesson was that they must obey. Obeying me or dad meant also obeying God. God put us in charge of them and in the position of training them to love and obey Him. We won’t always be around to help them CHOOSE right. It’s one of the best lessons they’ve had.
They want to choose right.
oh my stars glad to hear your 4 year old does it too. must be a 4 yearold thing. mine always does it with the brand new bottle of body wash or shampoo.
thanks again sarah for a great post!