The past week I’ve struggled all day long to write my blog posts. You should see my admin folder: it’s a clutter of unnamed drafts.
[no title] – draft
I mean it truly has been a serious struggle.
I sit down at the computer for a stolen 35 minutes in the morning. I type one half of one draft and then pitch it. I type another half of one draft and then pitch that.
Do the school pick up, run to the market, come home. Think: maybe, perhaps THE idea will strike me as I buckle my four year old’s seat belt or put gas in my car. Nothing. Steal another 15 minutes after I’ve put the groceries away with a blank box staring at me.
Delete. Pick up a carrot and dip it in hummus for my lunch. I still have a blank box staring at me.
This has been me for the past five days. Finally, at the end of the day, I squeak out a post that I’m only halfway proud of, halfway satisfied with.
Sigh.
It’s not for lack of ideas or thoughts or ways that God is ruining me right now.
But for some reason I’m really having to work for it this week. Hard. I’m pouring my tears and time into writing but everything that I produce is mediocre and/or pointless. I feel like I’ve been emptied out.
But here is what is interesting: the fact that it has not come easy for me this week has kept me on my toes. There has been a certain discomfort in the fact that as hard as I try I’m still making big mistakes. No matter what formula I apply to writing, the outcome still is not what I want it to be.
It’s very uncomfortable.
But I think that the moment I become comfortable in any calling or gift is when I begin to take it for granted. I have no doubt that I’m called to write. I’m not the best, not even close, and I have so far to go in honing my craft. But I know beyond know that I’m called to do this.
But when I begin to be comfortable in it, when I take it for granted, when it becomes something that is easy and does not make me stretch and grow it becomes stale. I don’t want to be stale. Or lazy.
So even as this week has been frustrating and made me consider putting up a “Be Back In Ten” sign up on my blog, I’m convinced that pushing forward in both my craft and the messages I’m supposed to communicate is very important. Not necessarily to you, but important to my own survival and what I hope God will do through me.
So I will be asking myself questions this weekend and next week about how I can move forward with what I’m supposed to do, whatever that looks like. And hopefully {fingers crossed} it will be anything but stale.
Do you struggle with inspiration? How do you come up with ideas for blog posts? Or, how have you pushed yourself forward in your craft or calling?
I have run dry, that’s for sure. It’s a drought season for me. Too many holes in my bucket to have anything to pour out.
Even my comments lack distinction.
1st, you are very distinct. 2nd, i hear you about the bucket and the holes… =(
miss you.
Our Son and Daughter collectively named my blog Carol’s Encouraging Thoughts and the original title is Carols Caring Thoughts, so it’s easy to come up with encouragement and it’s all relevant to ladies. In my mind I think of what would be needed this DAY. Every beginning ends something. Lives are changed through the miracle of encouragement.
I struggle A LOT. I sometimes wonder why I am blogging because I *almost* hate writing. That’s a strong word, but I use it a lot in relation to my writing. And I hate it because it takes me about 2 hours to get out one post. And that’s on a “on” day! The process of grinding out words deep is difficult. And I feel if I was “gifted” in the writing department it wouldn’t be so hard.
However, I feel like it’s something I’m called to do right now. In this season. Because through it God is teaching me one of many things.
“Be faithful.”
He has revealed how UNfaithful I have been in so many (all) areas of my life and this “small” task of writing has been a test of obedience because it is my ministry for a small group of women at my church.
Because this writing thing is SO hard for me, I am contnually reminded, “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord.”
When working on a new video project, the hardest part is just getting started. Most times, I look through everything, and struggle to find any flow, that was there when I was shooting footage, or doing interviews. It’s all gone, gone with the wind.
This is generally the point that I have an unfinished draft, and just set it aside. Much like you
Sarah, I have assurance of my calling; and cool thing is that is a gift, and a strong interest.
I pray today for wisdom, and inspiration, on both sides of our great nation, and I challenge you with the verse that continually challenges me:
“”Write the vision;
make it plain on tablets,
so he may run who reads it.
Habakkuk 2:2
Oh, there’s Psalm 63 as well! I am so thankful to know there are many others! I will wait on Him, and trust that He will show Himself, through my drafts as well!
oooh. i love the habbakuk verse. love that. thank you for sharing it.
“There has been a certain discomfort in the fact that as hard as I try I’m still making big mistakes”
my spiritual life in a nut-shell for the last couple of years….
(i know that wasn’t an answer to your question, but this sentence just jumped out at me this morning.)
oh, good lord. even my comments suck this week. i just wrote one and it didn’t post.
i was saying, though, that i have been soooo less than pleased this week with my blogs. i just wasn’t feeling them, was lacking inspiration, like you. i write now because it’s a discipline, though. i know i have to do it because the more i do it, the better i will become.
i confess i measure my success each day by how many hits i’ve gotten or how many comments i receive.
i’m better at writing my stories (true life ones) than anything that’s theological, which is telling to me. but it also calls me to the carpet.
i don’t have any advice except that, like any craft or gift we’ve been given, we have to care and nurture it and on other days just be disciplined in our practice.
writing. discipline. bleh. but still i do it. even if it sucks.
xo
MK, as a reader and commenter on your blog, I’ve been loving your posts this past week! And I think almost every blogger tends to measure success in terms of comments and hits. The trick is not letting that effect your content. People are attracted to that which comes from the heart.
leigh! thank you so much! that means a lot.
i agree with you, too – it’s sort of easy to tell when one is writing more for their audience instead of just using their authentic voice. i mean…the message itself should be for the audience but it always sounds best when the writer uses their authentic voice.
i appreciate this so much, leigh. thank you.
xo
This is the first week I’ve had “nothing.” Usually I would struggle to force something to write because I really do enjoy writing. But honestly, I’ve had no inspirations and/or thoughts. It makes me feel yuck though.
I hope the inspiration comes back. I’m not sure if it’s a season or what, but I don’t like “not” writing.
it will. i’m sure of it. =) keep at it, mary.
Hehe
Love this post. Totally transparent. I know it sounds really bad, but sometimes I whip out something, simply because I want to have a post that day. It’s oftentimes not the BEST I could have done, but I trust that God can still use it. And the amazing thing is…He usually does!
Inspiration is a tough thing. I compare alot of things to running sometimes, and with running you gotta just do it, no matter how you feel. So much easier said than done though!!
I’ve designed and taught scrapbooking classes for four years now and sometimes I just push through, and I end up happy with the results, but the painful slogging-through-wet-cement feelings I experience along the way stink!
With writing, well it’s for me, so I take a break.
Good luck, it’s a hard spot to be in when the mojo well runs dry.
You will do well Sarah. Wait on God. Listen for the words and the ideas will come after a time of prayer.
I’m completely in the same boat! I took off most of this week for the same reason. Totally dry. And I’m considering hanging it up for good. For one thing, there are a million people out there with beautiful thoughts – much more so than mine. Plus, I just want to be a good wife and mom.
But here’s the funny thing. After a couple of days of spending a few more minutes with God, and a few less on the computer, a few ideas were just there at my fingertips. It was confirmation to me that I need to make more time with my God and worry less about how often I post.
I know it’s different for you probably, because you have a large audience. I don’t feel quite the responsibility that you might. But I think we ALL need rest. God set up a pattern of that in our week and in our seasons. We should be able to follow suit without feeling guilty!
So I was writing out a comment, and then I decided to read others because mine didn’t sound quite “right”, and this is exactly what I wanted to say! Except for the hanging it up for good part. I’m not considering that.
Ok..i just started and I feel like i keep writing about the same thing…but…it’s what’s on my heart at the moment and if God can use it to encourage one person then I am grateful…u r a gifted writer with an amzaing story…
My blog is rarely deep, rarely moving. It just is what it is. When I can’t come up with anything to write about of importance (which is a WHOLE lot lately) I just type out a list for my post. A list of my feelings for the day or, a list of housework I’ve done.
This week I posted pictures of the time I was in love with New Kids on the Block. A lot of times just putting something in a post and hitting ‘publish’ is enough for me. Other times, however, I’ll just announce I’m taking a few weeks away from my blog and I come back to it refreshed.
Don’t feel too bad about it or be hard on yourself. I think it’s very normal. We have highs and lows and I think it’s the normal ebb and flow of inspiration. I think it’s in those times that we should be quiet and listen. It will come. Don’t feel obligated to say something that you’re not passionate about just to say something. It’s something I’m struggling with myself. I’ve been spending more quiet time just to “be” and am feeling more inspired than ever! Just go with it. Your readers and the ones that love you will still be here no matter what!
That is where I am.
.
One small dot amongst a sea of words.
Part of what makes writing hard for me is that I fear my transparency and my journey. My words are dark, shocking, crazy…in the Christian world shouldn’t I be living the perfect happy abundant life? I think, ” These posts are not happy happy joy enough.”
I don’t have a perfectly wrapped package of 5 points to a successful christian walk type of blog.
I type words and then delete them because they are messy, like me and well…in the blogging world I wonder if “messy” is enough.
Am I enough?
Delete…
That sounds crazy …delete…
Two or three hours later I come up with a post that is “safe”. Sometimes I dare to dip my toes into the heart of my pain and darkness and lack of answers..
sometimes I don’t.
This is so true of me as well! Messy, crazy, whatever. I’ve come to the point where I figure if people don’t like it they’ll stay away and then I can write whatever I want because I have no readers. Haha!
oh i say, WRITE UNSAFELY! Nobody wants 5 points to whatever, not really. and it isn’t safe, living this Christian life.
be brave, friend.
Sarah.
Thank. you.
Your brave heart and your transparent words have inspired me to push through the fear.
I am still afraid of what it will all look like when ” writing unsafely” becomes a reality on my blog.
Brilliant, precarious thoughts penned nicely (delete) perfectly (delete – nobody’s perfect), masterfully (delete – too much), skillfully (delete but getting close), adroitly (delete – but I really heart this word
– I give up – I’m sticking to nice. Ooooooh wait – a simple “well done” that’s what I want to say.
Just in case Craig you do not recheck the posts that you told me to recheck so that I could see your comment (HA) here is my response…
Craig,
You are remarkably magnificent, creative and you made me howl!
I am now inspired to never stop writing for fear that if I do a flock of birds will poop on my house…an evil and most horrible thing to befall me for sure.
As for posting your name instead of email address I would suggest you press the Name/URL button next time BUT if you decide not to I will nevertheless call you by the name “Craig the magnificent.”
Thanks for the words, ya made my day.
(smiling) – made my day too
Yes, I do run out of inspiration. I run dry like a desert and I have cracks [scars and mistakes] in my ground. I want a rain of inspiration to flow so that it will cover up the cracks, but my inspiration is found when I focus on the cracks and not the rain.
This week I decided to do a series on loneliness. Monday’s was ok, but my views were much lower than in previous weeks. Which made me feel stupid, and alone. Ironic, no? Tuesdays was a huge struggle to write. I was only one day in and I wanted to give up on the entire thing. I hated the topic and felt trapped in it. Haha!
My problem comes in when I write for others or try to imitate others. I second guess myself and feel like I have no talent at all. It’s somewhat comforting to me to know you deal with this, because I always enjoy your posts and they almost always connect with where I’m at.
Here’s what I do when I’m stuck: Read other blogs, read the Bible, look at pictures on photobucket, and lastly, I let it go. I go for a walk, I clean the kitchen. I have a guest post due this morning and I was completely stuck. Then, I got an idea while I was bathing my 2yo, and it has nothing to do with him or baths. Haha!
i do some of the same things too. i look at photos and sometimes that sparks something…
i feel inspired. right now there are too many posts floating around in my head. the problem is not enough time to write them.
but other times i am empty. i just roll with it. let it be what it is.
maybe this for you is a time to listen. to absorb. digest.
from there your words will come. beautiful words.
Sarah, just so you know . . .it doesn’t show that you are struggling. He always ministers to us through you. And I think that is what I learned to do. To go ahead and write some not so inspired posts. Some are downright stinky. What matters the most is Him in them, His words, anyway. Not mine, not me. And on days that my posts are dull, other blogger’s posts are shining bright with Him, so it’s all good! I go there and bask in His love through their words. Through your words. love you!
thank you so much debbie. =)
It’s been a dark & painful season for me, and I’ve just wanted to begin writing again after a 2 months of being in a fog. I’m still in it, but wanting to climb out.
These days I have a lot of inspiration for posts, but I’m not quite sure if they’re all blog appropriate. Or maybe I’m just not ready yet to put it out there. And I’m sure I will offend some people.
The other (dreamy) part of me thinks – maybe I should save this for my book. And then I shake my head.
So I guess I can relate. I’ve been stuck too.
love you…love this…
been reading in “orbiting the giant hairball”…in the place where he attacks the idea of “formulas” that lead to success…
just yesterday i came across this quote (below) & when i read your post…well, my heart & mind went straight there:
“real systems always turn out to be non-linear at some level…it no longer becomes possible to proceed by analysis…entropy is the degradation of matter & energy to an ultimate state of inert uniformity…a definition of bureaucracy…which tends to generate systems that arrogantly turn away from the source of their original success: groping…”
i think “inspiration” comes when we stumble onto something…
this can come after a long struggle or not so long…but our “struggle” is almost always done in the dark…where we haven’t been before, hence the “stumble”…the groping nature of what we are attempting…
in the end…from relationships to the search for truth…it all comes down to groping…and waiting…
for what is real.
in my book, “real” always trumps “good” or even “insightful”…
and you, girl, are REAL!
love you,
dad
totes agree with that. real trumps good. wow. well said, dad.
1. Your words, “or ways that God is ruining me right now”, beautifully spun. Big Fluffy Heart those words. And I get it 100%.
2. Your stuff is, quoting Sarah Markley,“anything but stale”. I just began reading your blog daily, (didn’t know blogs like yours even existed a month ago) – and to think – I’ve gotten the stale stuff!!!!! First – not fair – phtppphhtthhhppppp – (stomping feet). And second – If this is the stale Sarah, I might need special protecty mittens to handle your fresh bread straight from the oven. – yay for stale.
you win the award for my favorite comment of the day!
fresh bread straight from the oven…gonna go think about that!
yay me
humbled
thankful
smiling
I find when I focus on life instead of my blog, it just happens. When I present to what he wants to teach me, it comes seamlessly, instead of trying to create something of my own design. This is the ONLY way I can write, and I am thankful bc it helps to keep me in tune with Him. I’m sure what’s happening to you know is part of his process for you too:). Can’t wait to see what He shows you!
I’m so with you on this. Wow. This is my struggle with songwriting and with blogging right now. Maybe it’s my stage of life… I’ve got a few stressors in life right now that are pushing on me. Hopefully the clouds will break in about ten days, but until then I feel like I’m just dog-paddling trying to stay afloat.
I’d love to hear how you bust through this… Any inspirations or tips you have would be welcome!
Oh wait…. I see something, and man I hope you don’t mind me pointing it out. I see the inner critic at work in you. I know him. He lives in me and he makes me crazy. And he keeps me from just creating sometimes. He tells me that what I’m trying to say isn’t going to come out right. Or the premise is all crappy to begin with. He tells me that I don’t have it in me to crank out anything meaningful or significant.
And sometimes I listen to him, and he makes it very very hard to do anything imaginative or creative. I think you might be listening to him just a tiny bit, too… Maybe your “pushing forward” is simply an act of pushing him out of the way.
i know what you are saying and I hate that inner critic. thanks for pointing that out, mandy. love you.
Hi Sarah
I do not share a “call to write” with you, but I can relate because I was called to teach 6th to 8th grade girls Sunday School and at times I’m not sure if God picked the right person.I work 2 jobs and I have sons and nephews.At times I wonder if what I’m teaching them is really sinking in. God has assured me that He has me exactly where He wants me so I will press on for His glory. He alone will give you your inspiration!
Struggling so much with sharing my whole story and getting my voice organized… in a manner that is understandable to others. You INspire me girl. I feel like this un-college educated wanna be story teller fails every time I passionately share.. and *sigh* the fear enters. Then God does something like direct me to your blog and allows my heart to simmah down.
Much love,
D
I think when I have nothing to say and am LOOKING for something to say, I can see God more clearly…sometimes. But maybe that’s because I’m taking the time to look.
So inspired by your discipline…
Sarah, My daughter Andrea 26 is struggling with life right now. I forwarded your link to her yesterday because I know she can relate to you and hopefully be inspired to trust God and truly begin to live. I wish I had had your wisdom when I was your age. God is doing a huge work through you, don’t be discouraged or maybe I should say don’t let being discouraged stop you, write about it. We need you! lonnie
I used to struggle with inspiration, but I’ve learned to trust my Genius. First three months of the year, I couldn’t so much as write the alphabet, then one night in April I just couldn’t stop writing — even though I was exhausted beyond reason and my hand was stiff and sore.
“A carrot with hummus?” If I knew nothing else about you, that alone would tell me you live in CA. But you need more protein in your creative diet. When the well of inspiration runs dry, fill it up with the rain of reading.
As the old saying goes, “You are what you eat.”
The same is true for the mind and reading — what goes in through our eyes by reading, comes out through our fingers by reading.
So, if you want my advice, kill a cow. And get yourself some protein.
“…what goes in through our eyes by reading, comes out through our fingers by WRITING *** ”
Dahr.
you are way too good of a writer and a brilliant mind to suggest you have, or might, become stale. not once have i ever read anything without substance here. anything less just isnt in you…naturally.
sarah…i look to you to learn. i stalk in the background and take notes. you being you is the perfect recipe that makes this blog the amazing place it is.
my .02 cents.
[...] good friend Sarah Markley wrote about her struggle for consistent creativity recently, and it inspired to ask her and you this [...]
Your post and so many of the comments resonate with me right now. What Mandy said about the inner critic is so true for me as well. I allow myself to listen to that voice that says “you can’t write that – what will others think of you” (along with all his other opinions & jabs) too many times. But now I know I am not alone in this struggle and I will tell him to shut up and get on with what I have to say.
Thank you for sharing this.