I don’t check my blog stats. At all. I might once every six months or so as a fluke, but in general, I really don’t care.
Checking my own stats creates feelings of unworthiness, jealousy and distress in me and in actuality, I’d rather be oblivious to my own unpopularity.
Nonetheless, there are some of you that read! And I love it that each one of you visit this space every day or every week or every month. Or maybe this is your first visit. Thank you.
It’s hard to make an Internet space that stands out in a world where 30 billion pieces of content are shared on Facebook every month and on a world wide web where sarahmarkley.com is only one of 152 million blogs.
I know. I feel it too: we live in crazy-town.
I thought today I’d share with you some of the content I shared in my workshops on Sunday about how to carve out a space as a blogger. And what I had to share, I realized, was nothing mind-blowing or amazing, but it was simply what I had learned along the way.
In a sense, the only way I’ve been able to stand out at all in blogging has been via word of mouth in an almost organic way. These suggestions might butt up against the Social Media giants in the world who can tell you 10 Easy Steps for Growing Your Blog or 7 Sure-Fire Ways to Use Networking To Your Advantage.
I’m not that girl. Maybe mine should be titled Three Suggestions to Carve Out Your Space Organically. Or, in other words, Standing Out In Crazy Town.
First, I would suggest to cultivate a unique voice.
Whether you blog to write and tell stories {like I do} or whether you blog to create, it is so important that your creation {words or product} is uniquely you. Your voice is your style, your feel and the thing that pops out as uniquely only belonging to you.
A few years ago, after I’d been blogging for less than a year {I began in July of 2007} I found myself at a writers’ conference where 
I was introduced to amazing people like Annie, Linda and Melodee and where I found out about authors like Anne Lamott and Mary DeMuth. It rocked my world.
With lists of things-to-do, how-to-write-better and books to buy at Borders when I got home, I left feeling full and inspired. The first book I bought at home was Bird by Bird by Lamott, a mainstay for all writers and {in my opinion} creatives. One thing she suggested was that whatever you do, write 300 words a day. Which I had already been doing, poorly but consistently, on my blog. And because of that, I believe that by the end of that first year of blogging, my voice had begun to emerge.
To find your voice, practice. So simplistic and “easy” but true.
My second suggestion in carving out a space in blogging is to become an expert at something, but at the same time do it with humility.
Over two years ago, I shared my “big” story here on this blog. It was about marital infidelity, about healing and about my own brokenness. A lot of you “found” me during those weeks. What that did, besides opening up a conversation about marriage told from the side of a female adulterer, was unintentionally create a niche for me in that realm.
This is a tricky maze to navigate because we should be so careful about sharing online: we must guard the people we love, we must not share in the midst of our healing, and we must, as much as possible, share in a way that doesn’t seem like we are capitalizing on our experiences but rather sharing wisdom as a fellow journeyer in life.
But I’ve always attempted, in all of my amateurish writings about marriage, fidelity and brokenness, to share in a way that is balanced and loving rather than dogmatic and didactic.
Humility might be the most attractive human quality on the planet and it is something that I long for.
And thirdly, to turn your writing or our blog in a direction that is focused, we can reassess our personal passions.
Very few of us can write about everything and write about it well. Even the very best of the best bloggers really stick to a few things on their blogs and focus everything down to fit under the umbrella of their overall themes.
That’s why you’ll probably never see a DIY project here in this space. It’s not why you’ve come. It’s not why I blog. BUT, it fuels other blogs. The ones we love. Because other women, much more talented than me, are much better at painting mirrors turquoise or recovering chairs with the perfect fabric.
So because I suck at painting and design, I write a lot about grace, about marriage and relationships, and hopefully I challenge all of us to think deeper about ourselves and our hearts. That’s me. Those are my passions.
There is nothing more beautiful than watching someone talk about something they simply love to talk about. Their eyes light up, their face is animated and their energy is contagious. My daughter when she talks about horses. My husband when he talks about music. It’s a gorgeous thing.
So ask yourself what you are in love with communicating about and then create from there.
No lie. It’s hard to stand out. I don’t think I do it half the time. I just plug along in my own little corner of the web and hope some of you all click once in awhile.
But I am a firm believer in sharing wisdom as I’m given it. Hopefully, these three simplistic suggestions can be an inspiration to those of you who are new to creating or blogging and an encouragement to those of you who are further along in the crazy-town of blogging than I am.
Tomorrow I’ll share a little bit about community and how to foster it in your space.
What have you learned about blogging, creating or standing out that you’d like to share with us? Do tell!
i love this take on blogging sarah. very helpful! i love your space:))
thank you melissa!!
you had me at…”you check your stats every 6 months” it’s like you’re speaking another language.
i admire your surrender to stats and THANK YOU.
every morning i wake up, step on the scale, go downstairs to brew a cup of coffee, do private time with God and log in to check my blog stats. EVERY. DAY.
sorry. i didn’t mean to speak another language. =)
i loved your comment btw.
Ha! I came for the same reason Steph and my morning routine is pretty much the same as yours… Though lately I’ve resigned myself to checking my stats only once a week. Mostly that’s just because I’m still busy with the “back to school” routines around here. I’m sure I’ll be checking daily again before Thanksgiving, lol.
maybe i need to chill it and try the weekly thing…really appreciate that idea, jennifer!
If I focused on my stats I’d probably close up shop. . .your authenticity is what I love–going against the grain and just being YOU! Beautiful!
mmm. thank you janene. =)
I listened to you Sunday and you were so inspirational. Thank you my friend!
oh. i’m so glad you were there!! =)
Sarah,
just wanted to let you know I read because I appreciate your authentic voice in a sea of women who seem like they have it all together and can do it all. You are a breath of fresh air reminding me that I don’t have to do it all. Thank you for daily pointing us to grace. keep writing, the blog world needs you.
um yeah. i don’t have it all together. ever. at all. =)
This post just inspired me to get rid of the followers box so publicly displayed. Seeing that number drives me bonkers so I just redesigned and pressed delete. What a pleasure it will be to log in and not have that number staring me right in the face–being authentic and sharing my story means that number, my stats aren’t important in the big picture. I get that. Now. Thank you.
mmm. thank you so much. it’s just never been beneficial to me. only detrimental.
i hope it works for you!
What I have learned about blogging is it takes discipline to slow down and think about what you want to write and how much time you want to spend on each blog post. Stats are not important what you say or try to share is the most important. You encourage, and you share openly and that is a gift not everyone can do.
i agree Sharon. very wise. thank you.
You do stand out, Sarah.
Something I’ve learned . . . hmmm. Maybe cheering for others has been a blessing for me. Maybe finding someone who is just starting out and has no comments yet, and subscribing to them and commenting.
God bless you and thank you for our blog lessons!
oooh i love that. awhile back i went around the web and started clicking thru like crazy like i did when i was first blogging and found some amazing blogs. amazing, unread and uncommented blogs. i put them in a post and loved the connection.
i need to do that again. thank you for the reminder.
still figuring out the blogging thing and what my niche is.
can’t really figure out what my readers love about visiting my corner of the blogosphere.
i love visiting Meg from WHATEVER because she writes about serious things and she also writes about brainless things in her life….
that’s me. I like writing about a little bit of everything.
you’ll figure it out! =) yeah, and meg’s writing about different things is her niche. i agree.
I don’t intend to start up my own blog because I believe I have nothing to add to all the creativity and wisdom and expertise that is already out there in abundance, and I know I wouldn’t be able to do it with any regularity that is expected of blog followers (shudder! to think I might have ‘followers’!). I am not saying this with phony humility; it’s my true assessment of the situation. But like you, I do believe in sharing insights that are worth passing on and that’s what I do via Facebook.
oh good! i’m glad you can be creative in that way. thank you for your comment, karin. (but i don’t believe for a second that you don’t have anything to add) =)
thank you sarah.
it was good to see you this weekend. =)
How long did it take you to find your passion to write about? I began blogging and like to blog in order to write but I feel like I need a focus…and my main focus is just to write but that doesn’t seem valid. I have some posts that are a voice that I like and get some response but being committed to the blog and keeping writing for a purpose seems difficult. Any tips on finding that?
Thanks for pointing out how your blog is different than others that I see. Even that helps :+))). I prefer your titles…standing out in crazy town…rather than 3 tips to grow your blog. Not everyone in the audience fits the stats of the social media gurus either…thank you for clicking away in your corner. Each voice can make a difference!!
wow. Thank you Kathleen. tips for finding a passion or a theme? just keep doing it. and keep doing it from the heart. your “theme” will emerge if your writing is an extension of you.
keep writing and I think you’ll fall into a rhythm. Also, it might help to write out a “mission statement” for yourself only and for awhile write within what your purpose is.
ask your best friend or spouse or someone who knows you well what THEY think your passion is when you communicate. =)
Thanks for taking the time to answer my blog comment specifically. I will take this to heart. I am going to spend some more focused time on writing…so thanks for the encouragement to keep on. And I’ll be asking my hubby & my friend!
I recently went through and read your story. I just want to thank you for being transparent and sharing your life with your readers. What a heart-wrenching story of redemption.
I have a love for writing and haven’t ventured yet into writing online, but I’m feeling some nudges. I find myself needing to speak my heart, so your post was very relevant to me today. Thank you
mmm. thank you. writing is a good way for me to process things. some people talk it out. i write it out. =) good luck to you!
It’s always very interesting to read another blogger’s take on what is necessary to stand out and/or become successful. There’s a reason why some bloggers find success – whatever their personal definition of that is – and I appreciate when they’re willing to share. Thank you, Sarah.
Thank you Chrissy!! =)
Thank you. This is helpful in so many ways.
Love from,
Greta
I’m so glad Greta!
Great post. I remember when I started a mom blog years ago, the competition (if you will) was very low. This whole blogging thing was new, therefor it was much easier to build and keep a community. It’s not impossible now, your tips are a great way to start. Thanks.
Janelle
GraceTags
i agree with you about “a few years ago.” its a bit harder now. thank you for sharing your “seasoned” blogger wisdom. =)
I don’t have a blog…but I follow a few…like yours..
your line…”So ask yourself what you are in love with communicating about and create from there” is what got me today….powerful statement…true in blogging, in ministry, in life….what is my passion? I need to find out!
THANKS.
thank you Dee! =)
WHERE is the LOVE button? I blog because the crazy creative whirlwind that I am needed a place to share life, to connect heart to heart, to create beauty on this muddy messy unpaved road I call my journey. All the way in Africa. I keep creating more websites. One for every idea I had. Until people who knew me were utterly confused as to what “exactly” I did and I had more websites than most fortune 500 companies, all going nowhere and confusing all of us in the process. Then this year I had a revelation. I just needed a canvas for more world. In a daring move of utter necessity I killed them ALL. EVERY last one of them. And fromtheunpavedroad.com was born. And it was my voice. I found what I sound like.
I had a canvas I could splash words on, paint on, tears on, life on. Now it is going somewhere and now I am meeting all kinds of wonderful people who are on their own unpaved roads and relate a bit (because let’s be honest isn’t LIFE an unpaved road) and I am utterly amazed how a little raw and real makes friends faster than polished and professional EVER did.
Again I ask, so where is the LOVE button?
Well there now you see it- my bumpy life bumped some nonsense phrases in that right up there. Could blame it on the internet here… but probably it was 120 kids and user error LOL
thank you michele. i loved your comment so much i put it out on twitter! i need a love button for your comment. thank you.
Sarah, you are amazing. I’m glad you write this blog. The details you deal with are often different than mine, but the core issues are the same. I love your take on the world.
I just started blogging in June of this year and I’m trying to keep in mind that it takes awhile to have people learn about you and come by. But there are days like today when I bare my soul on my blog (for a purpose) and almost nobody comments. Crickets chirping. And I think, gee, I could use some support here. But I didn’t start blogging for support.
I have read a few of those articles on how to market your blog, blah, blah, blah. A premier blogger/consultant wrote that you need to keep it short and use bullet points. I don’t do short. God has me writing stories for specific purpose and almost always those stories come out around 1500 words. I don’t plan it that way, but when I use a word counter, it seems that I am staying consistently around that number. So I just go with it. If God wants me to write shorter stories, He’ll give me fewer words.
One thing I did do was figure out why I am blogging. Sort of a mission statement, if you will. And it turns out that mostly it is just learning obedience to God, with a theme of mercy thrown in sometimes. But I know that. I know what I’m doing, so I don’t wander around trying the next best thing or DIY or “how tos”. That helps.
Through a strange series of events, it turns out that I am going to the High Calling’s Writers’ Retreat tomorrow in the Texas Hill Country. Going to sit there and talk about the craft of writing with authors, editors, and publishers. Way out of my league. Way out. I’m trying not to get all nervous, but it is hard. I just keep reminding myself that I am trying to get better at what God has me doing. If He ever says lets move on from blogging to horse radish farming, may I be ever obedient and go to some horse radish farming retreats.
Blessings to you for giving us a little community here.
first of all, you’ll do great. i’m so glad you are “getting out there” and doing that. have fun!
secondly, thank you so much for your kind words.
good luck! =)
Oops. I also meant to say that I was so glad Michele was here commenting. Two of my favorite bloggers in one places *swoon*
Thank you, thank you, thank you for summing up the info you gave on Sunday. I was frantically writing notes and came home wondering what in the world I wrote down. I so appreciate you helping me to re-focus!
oh good! tomorrow i’m going to sum up the stuff on community. =)
Thanks for this- I mean really thanks…because I was thinking that I was the only one plugging along and trying to balance caring with not caring about stats and those 10 sure fire steps to growing my blog. I think authenticity goes along way. Authenticity in my writing, authenticity in my commenting on others blogs, authenticity when I am tweeting a link to that day’s blog post on my blog. I don’t want to have a striving sort of mentality towards my blog and writing and this journey that I want to walk with so many others. Thanks for putting words to those feelings. Don’t start checking your stats…with writing like this it might go to your head ; )
agree with you! authenticity is so important and is something i’ll be hitting on tomorrow. thank you for your comment, Jessica. =)
Thank you for this…
I stumbled across your blog randomly and loved your honesty and vulnerability. I just started a blog a couple months ago and I’m still trying to figure it all out. I didn’t start it to feed my ego or develop a devoted following… I just wanted a place to write and process what God was teaching me. It was an element of discipline for myself in a way since journaling has always been an inconsistant habit for me. Your post is an encouraging reminder to not get distracted by “successful” or “popular” blogs, but rather to stay true to the reason I started writing in the first place.
i love it denise. i process too by writing. good luck and so glad you found me. =)
Sarah, great post! I love the part where you encourage us to write about what we are passionate about. To focus on the passions God has ignited within us!
thanks janna. i was thinking of you this weekend. you would have had fun. =)
Sarah…I attended your first talk and it was just what I needed. I was following you for awhile and than had to step away because it was hitting to close to home, give grace..ouch. And now that I am in a better place, closer to God, I am back and excited to join in on your journey…and finally understand that all I can do is be me when I am writing my journey on my blog. Thanks for all your words.
wow. i love the honesty here. i hear you.
i’m so glad you are “back” and that we can journey together. =)
Yay! I love the recap from Sunday with the extra little bit. I love, love, love what you said about humility being the most attractive quality there is…I agree 100%!
thanks heather. thats something i always think about and I really try but fall so short. =/
I found your blog as you shared your story. I was was absolutely captivated by the words you chose, but more, the grace that seemed to saturate everywhere.
I stay because I want the same things (or what I believe) that you want. I believe that some of my passions match yours. I long to grow, to be humble, to communicate well. I might be sweaty or teary eyed, but love and grace is my heart.
what a beautiful description, heather. thank you.
Thank you for this. I am just starting out in my blog journey, although I’ve been writing for years. And by writing, I mean, writing for my eyes only. Now, I’m realizing how important it is to be constantly aware of why I put out there what I put out there. You just never know. I want to be honest, yet encouraging, real about my need for God’s grace, but willing to share any wisdom he’s given me through experience. It’s a tight rope walk for sure. And it feels great to get those words on the page!
thanks sarah. i’m glad that you are trying to be real. it’s so hard. so hard.
and yes. it feels like a tight rope. i agree.
Sarah, I loved what you shared in your workshop! Especially this part about how you don’t pay attention to everyone’s “10 best ways to grow your blog” rules. I have read so many things like that and have shied away because most of the tips don’t feel right for me, but I’ve always felt a little bit guilty about it, like I’m doing my blog a disservice. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only person who isn’t toeing that line.
It makes me feel better about listening to myself and trusting my instincts.
nope. not toeing that line at all.
and btw, meeting you was my highlight of sunday. =)
A definite highlight for me too.
Six months ago I checked my stats daily {hourly} and obsessed over how many comments I got. Honestly, it was sick. My identity was too wrapped up in what other’s thought of me and how I compared to everyone else.
Life stepped in, and that has really fallen to the wayside. If people read {which I really want them to} it’s great, but if they don’t I’m still ok. It doesn’t impact who I am.
I’m so glad you are sharing what you spoke about at Blog Sugar! Thanks, Sarah!
yep. i used to get unsubscribe notices in my inbox and it sent me to bonkers-ville. it was horrible.
now i don’t get them and honestly i don’t care.
love you. glad you are well. =)
As the lone male responding, I too, want to thank you for your writing online. You helped me focus on the bridge between theology and practical application, especially in the dirty shadows that we often overlook.
God’s blessings in your work (btw, you were the prayer focus of my blog http://exegete77.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/how-deep-the-wound-%E2%80%94-how-much-deeper-the-healing/)
wow, rich. thank you so much.
and i love male commenters. we need more diversity around here. =)
i really love your writing. i got super hooked on your story and the way you expressed your experience. your words are so honest.
thanks for this series…i am definitely in a blogging rut. i think i need to unplug my sitemeter:) it really is one of my creative road blocks.
Dear Sarah,
As a newbie to blogging, I found your post REFRESHING in its wisdom and honesty.
Thank you for sharing!
I think this advice is wiser than you give yourself credit for. It is just what I needed today. I had one of those posts that flowed out of me, that I was so excited to share- yet my stats tell me I have gotten few hits today. Stats can be paralyzing- as a writer just starting out, I think I need to follow your advice and stop looking at them.
What I love about this post is how it gives advice without promising that a+b=c. It reminds me of parenting books. Many are written with too much concreteness and too many promises. I think the best ones have advice and ideas, but are also appropriately realistic.
There are some things I can do to open the door to more readers, but ultimately, I can’t make them come in. There is some planning and discipline, but also a lot of luck.
Someone close to me recently told me how they were challenged by one of my posts. I felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit ask, “If your blog is only for him, is that enough for you? It’s enough for me.” We never know how God wants to use us.
I have read and commented on your blog, filled out your survey, and enjoy getting you into my inbox. I also love the vlogs (Is that what they are called?) I love the one about the bird you watched over at the beach.
Thanks for doing your thing. The more I write the more I realize how hard it is to do well. You do it well. It will be a legacy for your girls.
I’ve been mulling all this over since Blog Sugar and here’s what I am walking away with. I’m talking Amy’s advice from the Hollywood version of “Little Women.” Meg is in despair over her burnt hair and says she’ll never have any suitors. Amy replies, “You don’t need scores of suitors. You just need one suitor if he’s the right suitor.”
So what sits best with me is “I don’t need scores of readers, just the right readers.” I realize that my content doesn’t necessarily have mass appeal… and that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m just looking for a place to share what’s inside and make a deeper connection with others who are on a similar journey of the heart.
By the way, it was a pleasure to meet you this weekend and share a table with you. I do hope a table reunion is in our future.
I’m one that came to your site a couple years ago when you told your “big story” about marriage and infidelity. And even though I don’t comment a lot, I’ve come back often since then b/c of your realness. There’s an honesty here that isn’t always easy to find in christian blogs. Life is tough and tricky and deep and I need to know that I’m not the only one feeling that way. Thanks for your words!
I hope this isn’t something you consider completely “off target”, but I wanted to respond to some of your readers that didn’t think they had anything to say, nothing to add, and didn’t think they had the gift of writing.
I haven’t started a blog, but I do email friends at great length – mostly because they live in other states and countries and we never seem to have time to have an uninterrupted time to talk. But, it was after my accident, when I really became a daily writer – of my thoughts and feelings. While I wrote every day, it was about my patients, in their charts, in very logical, short, statements, just to cover myself, legally. I knew all my years of working on my writing had been, surely, sabotaged when I had to “chart” instead of write (although my supervisors and other nurses frequently remarked they just loved reading my charts because I didn’t leave anything out – aka I must also have OCD). I never thought I’d be able to regain my creative way of writing.
Then, the accident – and I was confined to bed, totally isolated from the outside world, were it not for my computer. I began to email just to let friends know that I was still alive (after dying, I don’t take it for granted), but it became a way for me to pour out my thoughts and feelings, even if I didn’t get a response right away. It gave me a way to communicate with myself – as I realized, going back, that I could actually begin to see how God was, indeed, ever so slowly, working in my life. He had not left me. I began to see that writing things down helped me formulate my thoughts and I began thinking a bit more clearly (or it might have been trying to stop taking so many narcotics for the pain). I had many friends begin to tell me I should write a book. I didn’t see why anyone would want to read a book about my whining and pity parties. Eventually, God carried me through those times, and I now realize that maybe, just maybe, something I experienced, learned, and combined with my experience as a healthcare provider might actually help others. So, I began writing my book (about things I think everyone needs to know about the American health care system, how to understand insurance, how to be an advocate for yourself and your loved one, and so forth). BUT, the point I wish to make (yep – too wordy, I know), is that even if someone doesn’t think they have anything to offer, they should consider writing anyway! Maybe you don’t want to be a blogger – that’s ok – but write anyway. Keep a diary, a journal, whatever. When I worked in the mental health area, we constantly encouraged our clients to keep a journal. It is something, I think, of a great value to one’s mental health.
And, including your spiritual journey is also a wonderful way to see God’s hand in your life…and a way to communicate with God in a way that becomes more disciplined. When I write out my prayers, or anything else I want to say/pray, it seems to be more meaningful. And, I see how many prayers are answered – not necessarily the way I thought they would be, wanted them to be, or in the time I wanted, but I see them answered. So, writing is also wonderful for one’s spiritual health.
So, while I do not want to discourage bloggers, nor dissuade anyone from starting, I’d rather they write than give up on it altogether.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, as they have challenged me to consider a blog.
Sarah,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I am a newbie blogger and it is SO helpful! It was just what I needed to hear.
I’ve found myself obsessing about the stats and comments, which in turn sucks the joy out the experience. I forgot that I write because I have all these words bouncing around my brain and it is such a relief to get them out, like so many others who have commented here. Thanks for the reminder!
Just finding you via a friend. Read this one article and now I’m hooked and subscribed. Thanks for your authenticity. I look forward to catching up on your story.
Thanks for sharing, Sarah. It does take a little time and digging to find that niche. I love your raw and humble walk with the Lord. Your heart pours into your writing.
Blessings,
Mel
Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God
Great tips, great advice. I might have withdrawal symptoms though if I completely stay away from the stats, lol!
I found this on Pinterest and I think your tips are great. I struggle to focus though because I have eclectic taste but my one passion is to write stories that bring Biblical truths into a modern light. Sometimes that’s my own stories and sometimes It’s fiction but either way, I find it delightful.
I have a love/hate with the stats. Like you I find it depressing that fifteen people read on Saturday and twenty on Tues.
That the readership grows by two and shrinks by three at times. BUT…I learned at Michael Hyatt’s blog to post and Tweet (and share on Pinterest as you did) your best posts and that has been a great thing to do. People often thank me for sharing a post they hadn’t seen and we get in conversations about posts a year or more old.
So glad you posted this. I’m sharing it!
again… having Michele and Sarah in once place is an awesome treat!