“Mom! Why are all of MY ornaments broken?” My oldest whined as we sat surrounded by boxes and tissue paper. We were decorating the tree on Saturday night.
“Remember the year your baby sister broke like 10 ornaments?” I reminded her.
Oh yeah. That. Last year, my then four-year-old had become obsessed with all things tiny: Polly Pockets, Littlest Pet Shops, doll houses and any tiny little toy she could get her hands on. So when our tree went up in 2010, she had the hardest time keeping her hands off the beautiful little ornaments.
They were all just so glittery and perfect occupants for fairy gardens.
There is nothing so neat and organized in my whole house as my giant container of boxed Christmas ornaments. It represents years of my life. Some of my ornaments reach back into the 1970s, still in their original boxes, and they only see the light of day for 1/12th of the year. There are silver Wallace bells, photos of my girls and various angels, little drummer boys and polar bears.
My daughters each have their own ornaments too. They get to hang theirs up on the tree, and because of their height, the bottom half is usually where theirs end up. Last year, Naomi systematically (it seemed) picked off with the accuracy of an assassin most of the ornaments on the lower branches. Barbie’s lost their hands, teddy bears lost ears and a porcelain Breyer horse lost her leg. Most of them became limbless as they tumbled from tree to the tile in the dining room.
“My HORSE!” I pulled out Hope’s 2009 Breyer horse from it’s box, legless, and handed it to her. “Even this one? Why can’t she stop dropping things?”
I looked at my five-year-old, with her enthusiasm as she put her own half-broken ornaments on this year’s tree.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. Because she’s five. Five-year-olds drop things.” And as if her hands were coated with melted butter, she did. Even in our current tree-trimming escapade she dropped (and broke) two ornaments.
“I’m sorry Mama!” She gasped. I hugged her.
“I know baby. Just be careful,” and I put my own special ornaments behind me. I would put those up myself.
Dropping things. In my frustration I wondered why she just couldn’t hold what I gave her. Why, even though she is five, can’t she just keep it in her hand so we all wouldn’t have to bemoan another ornament casualty. She’d even broken one of my nice dishes the other day in the kitchen after Thanksgiving. Why did she keep dropping things?
Maybe for the same reasons I keep dropping things.
Sometimes she has too many things in her hands. She runs through life with a little stuffed animal under one arm which severely hinders her ability to carry things in from the car or hold other things with her hands. She drops things because her hands are too full.
She also drops things because she’s still growing up. Her little hands don’t have the same kind of motor control that mine do and her little arms don’t the same strength.
I know that I drop things all the time. I drop people, I drop emails, I drop responsibilities and relationships. These are things I SHOULDN’T drop, and I get mad at myself when I do, but I can’t help it.
Sometimes my hands are full of other things. I am learning to put things down {obligations and schedules} so that I don’t drop the very things I do have in my hands. I don’t want to drop friendships because of my unwillingness to put unimportant things down.
And then other times, I drop things because I’m being independent. Or I’m trying to be. I’m not asking for help when my arms are too weak. I’m not accepting it when my life just doesn’t work right.
I used to think that dropping things was just part of it; that those things were acceptable losses that are a part of simply living in this busy world. Friendships drop off and emails don’t get returned: that’s life. But now I wonder if “dropping things” wouldn’t happen as much if I learned to put other things down and to accept help when it is offered.
My tree got trimmed. No ornament was broken beyond recognition. And Naomi knows if she touches the Christmas tree this year she’ll have to do 25 jumping jacks (which she’ll turn into a dance number).
Do you “drop things?” What methods have you learned to be more present with your time or to be more efficient?
I applaud you for your gracious response to your 5-year old, Sarah. I’m often a lot harsher, especially when it comes to things that are “wrought with meaning” such as old Christmas ornaments. And yet it was I who ruined the 40 year old Russian doll my grandparents brought back from a trip to Russia in the 70s – a rare trip even for East Germans to be able to take – because I submerged it in water to clean it. (yeah) Its top half shrunk and no longer fits onto the bottom half. I have a tree skirt under my tree but stuff still breaks or disappears. I think it was 2 Christmases ago that I decided to let it go (I almost said ‘learned to let it go’ but that’s not quite the case). My husband recently talked to me about putting people/relationships (specifically our kids) over things. I am not a material girl but I have realized how much I am echoing the home I grew up in: some things were precious. Even water. My grandpa once lamented a whole afternoon because I mindlessly poured out a pot of water he had filled (I was trying to ‘help’…) So that was eye-opening. I want my kids to think of me as Mom they can ALWAYS come to, no matter what broke, no matter what happened. Losing it over spilled milk is not the ticket to that. So – thanks for another good, timely post that fits right in with what is going on in my life.
thank you for this Karin. I also want my kids to be able to come to me about anything too. =)
Hi dear precious Sarah. Please say a prayer. My hubby and I both had the flu at Thanksiving and that is the first time that has ever happen to us. I truly love your blogs and am always wanting to thank you for your incredible talent. As you begin your Christmas 2011, please may ever need be met.
oooops, every need be met for you on all you do.
i will pray Carol!
Lord, I lift up Carol and her husband to you. Please heal their bodies as they get ready for the Christmas season. Bring them back to full health and joy.
Hi Sarah–we met at the airport prior to Relevant. I saw this post on Twitter & it caught my eye. One thing is I too have a little girl who drops things. I can get frustrated after the umpteenth time, but perspective is everything–right!
I definitely drop life. I think the hard part is I can have higher expectations on other people, while wanting others to cut me some slack. But that latter part strikes me in the chest as hypocrisy on my part. I know this season can be uber busy with so many activities & good desires, but it eventually leads to a frazzled home life. I have struggled with fear & anxiety & being mindful of the present is most helpful for this big picture, imaginative gal. I am just now starting to realize that I need a “To Do” list & actually follow it. I like Tsh’s at Simple Mom’s To Do list, because life is often consumed with putting out fires, without ever finding the time for the more important tasks/jobs. Oi Vye–I rambled. Thanks for this.
Hey Kamille! I loved meeting you. =) thank you so much for your comment. i get frustrated too (and i did the other night) but i guess the bright side of it is that i have a christmas tree with character! =)
I think one of the major causes of dropping things is when we are in a hurry — both physically and figuratively. Great post.
oh gosh. i’m in a hurry everywhere i go. everywhere. and i make my kids hurry too. yikes. thanks for the reminder.
I’ve dropped the idea of texting and twittering to simplify my life. I know what the experts say, but I need to follow what my Boss, God says. Too connected Steph = CRAZY Steph!
oooh. i love that. how is that going, steph? honestly? has it been freeing??
being a bit “ADD” means that i drop things all the time…
often i start projects & leave them half-finished…happily off to the next thing…sometimes this is a good thing & sometimes not so good.
but dropping people is both one of the the easiest things to do & one of the the hardest things to recover from…
but, the people in our lives are so much more important than all the other stuff in our little “life-universes”…and…they take so much more time & concentration.
so, this was amazing for me to hear this morning…to ponder…to remember…to regret those times when i have forgotten this truth…and to again ask Jesus what He wants me to do now.
thank you for this gift!
love you,
dad
love you dad!
yes, I drop things. I find that as I turn more responsibility to the kids — more things get broken because they need the practice. I need more practice of putting my treasures in heaven. Yes, I don’t want to drop friendships…yes…it is hard…Lord let us number our days aright that we may walk in wisdom in our days.
Mmm. I echo your prayers. thank you kathleen.
You never fail to shower me with unexpected grace thru your words. Thank you so very much. I drop people, too – not things so much. May God bless you richly.
thank you Trece. =)
Thank you for sharing, I too had something similar happen only it was pictures deleted on my digital camera. I let my daughter take pics on my camera and usually there are no pics deleted and all is well. For some reason this time she pushed a button that caused the camera to delete not one but all my pics. Inside I was devastated , I calmly told her it was okay . I could tell by the look on her face that she felt bad and I didn’t want her to feel any worse than she already did, besides I have the best part of the pictures in the camera the real thing , My very precious daughter who is with me always pics can be replaced . I’m sorry for making my comment so long. I want to be able to give her the grace that i know god gives me each day of my life!
oooh. that is rough. i hear you. the balance between being disappointed and not actually showing it is really hard. =)
thank you for your comment Amanda!
Your welcome ! Thank you for being so transparent in your life and blog!
I have to tell you this: My toddler son carried off a porcelain swan ornament this afternoon – I found it in the bathroom – and as I hung it on the tree again, it slid right back off the branch because I did it too hastily and it broke as it fell to the floor (hardwood). I couldn’t believe it, after your blog this morning!!! There are NO WORDS!
I must admit that I drop things too and I am a 24 year old woman. This is kind of disconcerting because I am working towards becoming a professional photographer and I am planning on buying one of those neato digital SLR cameras that I wouldn’t want to drop. Ever. The lenses are expensive enough, tyvm.