A girl sat near me in Starbucks for a few minutes before her boyfriend joined her. She sipped an iced tea and I noticed how beautiful she was.
What is interesting is that I am the first one to admit my perspective of beauty is right in line with what the world tells us it should be.
I know I should lose 20 lbs. I know that I need to keep my eyebrows trimmed and my nails neat. I know that I should keep my hair brushed and tinted to cover some new grey. I know that I need to keep my breath fresh, my underarms deodorized and my hands softened with lotion. I know that if I do all these things, I will be as beautiful as my body and face will allow and that I will fit more and more into the idea of what our society tells us is beautiful.
I looked at the girl again.
Her eyebrows weren’t trimmed. Her lips had gloss on them, but were oddly shaped. Her hair was frizzy and a little unruly. She turned to face her boyfriend and I noticed that there wasn’t much about her that embodied the cover of Cosmo or the centerfold of Playboy.
She was a little overweight and for all intents and purposes, looked quite normal.
But there was something about her. She was beautiful. It could have been the way she walked or even an air of humble confidence. It might have been her eyes.
But as she got up to walk away I wondered about my own ideas of beauty. Why do I think she’s beautiful?
It’s easy to call a sunset beautiful, a five year old girl’s head of blonde hair gorgeous or to call a Victoria’s Secret lingerie model drop-dead. But the normal girl at the table next to me? Was she beautiful?
Yes, she was.
Here’s the other thing. I didn’t know her. I know that when someone very “plain” is compassionate or kind or loving, their beauty shines from their eyes and heart and a very normal face becomes extraordinary. But I had no idea what kind of person she was.
Even so, she was beautiful.
Let’s decide today, to begin to strip our minds of what the beautiful standards are. We can continue to paint our nails and comb our hair, but in this age of Pinterest and all else, let us not let the beautiful standards define us. Let us not look to impossible things to define us.
Because there is no way, ever, we can live up to it.
Let us instead look for joy in the pain, hope in the dry hills and beauty in the dust.
How do you define beauty? What is something beautiful you have seen this week?
great post! the most beautiful thing for me this week:
my 8 yo daughter looked straight into my eyes before bed two nights ago & with a very serious, sincere look she told me she loved me. she tells me she loves me all the time but this specific time, it was like she wanted to be sure i knew it. it was so heartfelt & the look on her face was beautiful.
i love that amy. my 10 yr old does similar things, and i wonder if she is turning into a woman. it’s beautiful to watch.
Watching a video of my one year old niece celebrate her birthday with dainty fistfuls of cake barely smeared on her face, ending with a huge smile towards her daddy holding the camera.
fistfuls of cake — i love it!! =)
Beauty is something that makes us pause. In the midst of the rushing, consuming world we live, it is something we notice.
Sometimes it may be people who fit society’s standards of beauty. After all, we are a part of that society. We have been shaped by it.
Sometimes it is God’s creation. I see snow falling outside my window right now. There is something about snow that makes me pause when rain does not. It falls lighter. More carelessly. It floats and turns and dances in the wind.
Sometimes it is a human creation. Fonts that make writing feel more enjoyable. Paintings that come to life.
Sometimes it is less tangible. Words. Feelings. Attitudes. Ideas.
Beauty is hope when we are hopeless, light when we are in the dark, joy when we feel despair, meaning when we are drifting.
Beauty is a gift.
that is gorgeous stephanie. thank you so much for leaving such an eloquent comment. =)
I saw a beautiful sunset filled with orange, red, pink and yellow…
we don’t get them often here but when we do…
beauty.
I did a brief study on the words Pretty and Beautiful once, their definitions, usage, and connotation. It really shifted my thinking & my speech. I love words & respect them & make it a priority to attempt to use them correctly. The word pretty is mostly about what is pleasing to the eye. Beauty on the other hand carries so much depth. I have pretty hands & pretty eyes, but I am a beautiful woman… As are you my friend;)
Thanks for this post Sarah
yes you are beautiful julia. thank you for this.
This week I have seen three adorable grandsons who have little boy eyes and cowlicky hair and rough and tough lingo as they played with their toys. This week I saw a 2 year old girl with long dark hair and deep brown eyes and whispy eyelashes.
This week I saw the beauty of children and realized that is why Jesus said ‘let the children come’… He knew they were precious.
jesus loves the children. he really does. thank you for this comment, sharon.
Sadly, society’s definition of beauty is very limited. Thank you for writing about the type of beauty that seems hidden from so many. Great post!
I’m a subscriber & read every one of your posts, but I’m not sure that I’ve ever commented before.
I just wanted to tell you how much this post spoke to me. In the past two and a half years (since my injury), I’ve struggled with self esteem. Being in a wheelchair only makes it worse. It’s just in the past few months that I’ve started to try to work my way out of the deep hole in which I’d found myself.
This post reminded me that it’s not just what’s on the outside. It’s what’s on the inside. A smile, a touch, a kind word to a stranger. These are the things that count.
I saw the beauty in a young woman’s authenticity. Her openness about the the ugly parts of her beautiful story was appealing. She knew that the ugly parts didn’t have an ounce of effect on who she is, or who she was originally created to be. She tells her story, not for shock value alone. She tells her story to offer beautiful hope. Hope is the essence of beauty. When hope is expressed through words and through the eyes of someone who is hiding nothing, that is the essence of beauty. Her story is as shiny as a treasure piece that stands out in a box of jewelry. Hope is what makes our story shine, the pain worth something. Your article inspired that hope, and those words inside me to be written outloud.. shared.. thanks…Joan
I just had a conversation with my daughter about an hour ago about this very subject…how when she lets her heart shine through, then the world sees her true beauty. She’s 8 trying to be 16…battles over clothing, attitude (big time!), and respect for me. Here’s to hoping that through constant grace, persistent faith, and tremendous love she can find the confidence to believe and live her heart beauty from now until forever…
Beauty is the love I see in my 9 month olds eyes when he locks his with mine. Its is like he is saying i love you with his eyes.
Beauty is the smile that appears on my 11 yr olds face as we laugh and joke and share silly goofy moments.
Beauty is what I feel when my 11 yr old hugs and kisses me in front of his drama club friends…yes! he did.
Beauty is the pride of a grandmother and the hand of a grandfather.
Beauty…is family!
It’s so important to know that we are beautiful, because we were knit together perfectly by the hand of the Creator. I strive to teach this to my girls. May they never compare themselves to the standards of this world.
I love this post. It’s so easy to become wrapped up in what society informs us is beautiful. Yet God’s definition of beauty is a quiet, gentle spirit and one who fears (is in awe) of the Lord. Thank you for the reminder of what is most important.
Love this, Sarah. I agree! I misread the part where you said “joy in the pain” (which I also believe), but I think there can be joy even in the plain or the simplicity, maybe in those days we’re just not all put together:).