A Community of Two {or Three}

We all need friends who will ebb with us and flow with us.

Who will mark out for the weekend, leave the kids with the husbands for 30 hours and meet me in a city by the sea.

We need those TV-watching friends, those its-ok-to-be-silent friends, those hold-hands-while-we-carry-each-other-to-Jesus friends.

We need those friends who have walked the journey and will continue to walk the way with us.

There are times for meeting new friends and for making new laughter, but there are also times for gathering the old and comfortable around us like a sweatshirt that has only gotten softer and more familiar with age.

I hope you don’t think me selfish, but I knew that my soul needed a real-life day or two with an old friend.

Sometimes community looks like a new shiny bicycle with a bell begging to be rung. We make new, interesting friends whose heart-depths are waiting to be explored. We exchange phone numbers and make dates to meet and we wonder at the excitement of a new soul-friends.

 Sometimes community looks like the middle life: husbands and children and other mothers at school who need the pages of homework assignments. It looks like cups-of-coffee shared before school lets out at 3:05 and it looks like knees and hearts together while our six-year-olds dance ballet.

And other times community looks like the ease and gentleness of old friendships. It looks like decades buried memories, relaxed laughter and the familiar thought that we’ve-done-this-all-before. It looks like old words shared over new cupcakes and old rhythms set to new music.

So this weekend, my journey took me to a community of two. And I really believe that where two are gathered in community, whether new or old or middle-life, there is Another who also communes.

 Did you experience community this weekend? With whom? Do you prefer to be in large groups or in settings of 2 or 3?

All photos in this post by this lovely woman who I’ve journeyed with for almost 20 years.


  1. Sharon O says

    Yes I watched the (in)RL on Friday night by myself, and then I went to a ‘meeting’ about a half hour away from my house and met with three ladies I didn’t know. It was nice, and different although it was out of my box, and comfort zone. Then I watched the rest of the conference on line at home on Sunday. Good words of wisdom, hope and encouragement.

  2. says

    This weekend I was back visiting my family.One of the blessings of “going home” is that I also got to reconnect with old friends from my High School and college days. Now that I am a military wife who is constantly making “new” friends, it was such a blessing to be in conversation with those who already knew me-who shared similar memories with me. Even though it has been 18 years since HS, or 14 years since the sorority house, it didn’t matter. We just picked up where we left off, listening and laughing with one another. That is why the older I get, smaller groups are more my thing. They enable you to go deeper. However, my soul is moved when I get together with large groups of women at a conference and we worship God together-it always gives me “goose bumps.” So I guess there are blessings in both?

    Loved this post-thank you!

  3. says

    Love this :) Where two or more are gathered there God is also.

    Its funny i just have to say that when i looked at the picture of the shoes, I thought the flip flops were yours and the flats Lisa’s, hehe. (i have been reading lisa’s blog too and i made my judgement by here WWIW posts)

  4. says

    “There are times for meeting new friends and for making new laughter, but there are also times for gathering the old and comfortable around us like a sweatshirt that has only gotten softer and more familiar with age.”

    Yes, yes. What a beautiful picture you have painted with those words.

    I have craved the friendships of the well-worn sweatshirt. But sadly, it has taken me awhile in this life to learn how to be vulnerable. I spent too many years with walls that blocked roots from going deep.

    But I have learned so much and have been blessed with a beautiful friend this year. She is the bicycle with the shiny new bell, but she already feels comfortable. I am excited to grow deeper with her over the years.

  5. says

    so glad you had a lovely, refreshing weekend with your lisa.

    we experienced community this weekend with an old community, sierra vista pres., at a going away party for our friend spinner.
    it was surprisingly good.

    i miss who i am in community.
    but don’t know how ready i am to dive back into it yet.

  6. says

    beautiful post, Sarah. Love the word pictures. I too, have found such meaning and depth among (authentic) community and love how the Lord puts certain women in our lives for a reason.

  7. Melissa says

    oh i just love this so much…i am better with my old, comfortable, worn out, soft sweatshirt community of one or two. so much better. i would love to say that i’m stepping out and holding a hand to the newness that so often presents itself, but i just withdraw…thank you for your words that also express my heart.

  8. says

    My daughter-in-law were community on Saturday. It was wonderful. My hubby, David, joined in at the end. But it was wonderful to talk with her while David watched our grandson and hung out with Shadow, our dog.

    I’m a one-to-one so it was amazing for me.

    I love that you know just who you are and what/who you need. Sounds like you were replenished.

  9. says

    I did (in)RL Friday night and again on Sunday by myself, in the comfort of PJs and my bed. With Twitter, I felt a part of the community in a real way, but was still able to be my introvert self, which was a rather lovely balance.

    Tonight I did dessert out with 4 girls from our Beth Moore Bible study group. Having dessert with my real-life girls was just icing on the (in)RL cake!

    I’m so glad you & Lisa had time together.


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