It’s all about self-control. And about love.
Our whole lives worth of personal struggles find their way back to self control: exercise, dieting, keeping my heart from wandering. They are all issues of self-control. Our lives drip with the need to continuously bring ourselves under the control of the Holy Spirit.
That’s why as, last week, my six year old tantrumed for some forgotten catalyst and I walked her out of the public place we were in, I understood that this was a simple battle of wills and a battle of self-control. She screamed and pulled and I sat down across from her at a picnic bench outside.
Discipline when frustrated.
Control when angry.
Calm when upset.
“I’ll sit with you all day until you calm down and we can talk.” I told her.
No good. No good at all. She was just crazy-angry. I waited and she screamed. I waited some more and she yelled some more. Her anger and frustration had taken different iterations of words, physical actions and tears in the last 20 minutes and I could see she was wearying by the circles under her eyes.
“I’m just SO MAD!” She yelled and pounded a fist on the table. Her tears were angry.
I took a deep breath and saw the little girl in her eyes. And I knew she was me, not just at age six, but me now. When I pound my fist and want my way, when I stomp and scream and make everyone around me embarrassed because of my behavior.
“You can hit me and kick me and scream at me all you want. But I will still be your Mama and I will still love you.”
Something in her tiny body broke.
“Really?” She asked. Her tears were turning from anger to relief. “After ALL of that, you’ll still love me?”
Yes.
Yes.
And He comes over to where we sit and He scoops us up and He carries us close and whispers, “After all of that, I will still love you. I will always love you.”
I will sit with you until you are calm.
I will be here when you are out of control.
I will be even when you are angry.
And I will always, always love you even when you don’t seem to love Me.
I’ve always loved seeing His love in our mama-love. No matter what! No matter what!
(and I see Him smiling through our frustrations…)
me too. thank you for the comment kathy!
Nothing to add but AMEN!
Oh…my heart just melts…to have the wisdom to just sit…wait…and speak love into all the madness…you my friend…a beautiful reflection to your daughter the Heart of the Father toward us…and isn’t just like Him…to teach both parent and child together…He so kind that way. blessings to you~
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! Words my heart needed to hear!
Beautiful. I love that He waits for us and promises to never leave us through every tantrum, and all the kicking and screaming.
yes he does!!
What a beautiful picture, Sarah! So glad you shared.
thank you katie!
I want everyone to know this about God. He loves us. We cannot stomp or pout enough for him to not. Just as we cannot DO enough to make Him love us more. His love is already eternal. I am so in love!
Amen
Wow. Thanks for sharing and reminding.
Wow Sarah, I really needed that today. Not only from the mom perspective (we have a tantruming, strong-willed, unbelieveably unbreakable spirited 3 year old) but from the Father perspective. Thank you.
The gift of presence. Your momma presence and His abiding presence always and every time by our side and in our pain. I am always amazed by the concept of the ministry of presence. Just being with someone. Bless you for sharing. What a gift to sit and be still in His arms while you hold your child in your arms. Beautiful.
Oh that we may have patience to sit it out and wait, while the Lord does a mighty work within hearts and homes.
Precious, Sarah! Thank you!
Beautiful. You got me on that one. Thank you.
Sarah, I love this! So beautiful.
I have learned so much about my relationship with God through my relationship with my children.
Thank you for sharing your story here. His unconditional love for us is so remarkable.
Sarah, this may be an event in your daughter’s life that she will remember. It’s always interesting to me what my kids do and don’t remember when they were growing up. Yet this event you wrote of seems fairly significant. To have you daughter express to you that it really IS TRUE that you will love her after the tantrum, that you will love her NO MATTER WHAT. I don’t know. Do you think it hit her deep inside, that realization of unconditional love from you? Well, regardless, that will continue to be reinforced by you. I guess I’m simply touched by the verbal exchange she had with you. How beautiful! What a God-thing. I love it.
Oh WOW–Yes!!
Sarah,
I love this reminder of God’s unconditional love for me in spite of MY tantrums, sin, anger and poor-me tears. I thank you for your writing.
Gulp.
You got it.
It’s SO amazing to me how He loves us so much that He shows us word pictures of His love all the time. This one got me where it counts…thank you for sharing.
(And I have to say I was caught off guard at first- I know I’ve been out of blogland for a long time, but how do you have a 6 year old? When I started reading your blog Hope wasn’t even 6. And I was a mother of one. Sigh.) What a reminder of how long it has been.