Sometimes we aren’t given the luxury to mark a last.
{Because knowing when something is nearing its end is a luxury.}
The last time we hug a grandmother’s neck. The last time we talk to someone before they have gone. The last time we pick up a child before she gets too tall to do it any longer. The last time we have a BBQ in a home before we move. The last phone call before a friend moves on.
These lasts have gone before we know what, in fact, they are.
But some lasts are marked and marked well.
They are dates on a calendar, walked toward with increasing expectancy and excitement. They are asked about and talked about for months beforehand.
Today is our last day of Kindergarten ever. And the last day of fourth grade for my oldest. Today we are leaving teachers and friends that we love dearly but it is an ending to which we’ve been looking forward with bittersweetness.
Leaving something behind always signals a first for something else.
Without a last day of school we cannot enjoy the first day of summer. Without a last day of Kindergarten we can’t look forward to the next year. Without the lasts we cannot have the firsts.
Admittedly, I have difficulty saying goodbye to things. Most of the time it is a process for me to leave something or someone. It doesn’t come easy at all and I tend to hold on to things long past their expiration date. But sometimes we simply come to the end of something. Fourth grade must come to an end so that a growing ten year old can enter fifth grade in the fall. If we hold on to the things that we love so tightly that we never leave we wouldn’t be able to experience the next thing.
The next GOOD thing.
I’m looking forward to happy summer mornings, afternoons at the pool and in the park and days at the beach. I’m saying “hello” to the newness of summer even if it’s hard to say “goodbye” to the school year.
Those of us who have a hard time saying goodbye? Let us embrace endings so that we can also embrace beginnings because saying goodbye means we will be saying hello to something else.
Do you have trouble saying “goodbye” or ending things? Has a “last” passed without you marking it? What kind of endings are good or bad for you?
What are you looking forward to this summer?
I soooo needed to read this this morning! Thank you for your perspective, Sarah!
thanks Robyn. i love you. very much.
I definitely have trouble saying “goodbye” to things. Change is hard…especially when a ending is taking place. I try to cherish every moment I can in the present…and preserve memories.
This summer I’m looking forward to finding some time to relax. I’m working on trying to live life slow, which is a struggle in our world today. I really want to get there, and be able to process every moment that goes by in life.
good! me too.
slow…..
let’s hope we can accomplish that!!
I am moving in a few weeks. This ministered to me today, as I think about the struggle of saying goodbye to good friends. Because it also means saying hello to new ones. There is so much about this move that will be wonderful. We will be living close to family in a way we never have before. But I dread leaving a friend that has grown into a deep soul sister. I don’t know how to mark the ending of living in the same city with her. Thanks for your reminder to mark this transition and look for the good today.
wow! that’s huge!! God bless you as you start again, stephanie!!
As always, insightful and discerning, makes me think of a line from a song- “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”
yes it does. thank you MIke!! =)
Sarah, I absolutely loved this! Timely for me in many ways. Thanks so much for sharing your heart so beautifully yet again.
thank you makeda!!
I’ve experienced the same thing the past few days. Last Sunday, after 6 years, I told my pastor that I was stepping down from tech team leader. It’s something I’ve really enjoyed but I’m looking forward to sitting in the congregation with my husband. I sent an email to the team members just this morning, and it seems final and just a little scary right now. But I know that god has something else for me, and I appreciate him affirming that through your words. Thank you sweet lady!
that must be difficult thelma. six years in any position creates routine and memories, so i’m sorry for your difficult transition. thank you for your comment. may He bless you in the endings.
You’ve got me thinking… there are hundreds of ‘lasts’ that I have not marked and I hadn’t realised until now that I’m still pretty sad about them. On a day that I’m not really doing so great it’s not the best idea for me to dwell on those ‘lasts’ but I will hold onto this idea and think about it more on a day when things are a bit easier.
The last game of football I played with my Kenyan under 14′s before flying home,
The last theatre play I stage managed in school,
The last church service I attended when I could still believe,
The last time I saw friends who saved my life over the years but who I’ll probably never see again,
The last time I had a ‘real conversation’ with my Grandmother before she started to forget who I am,
There are just too many…. that have not lead to new starts or next good things….
I am grateful for your post, and glad that you have celebrated the end of school and beginning of summer. You’ve reminded me to try to do the same. But at the same time, now is not the moment to ponder those questions, 5minutes at a time kinda day…
thank you for that eloquent comment. yes, i’m thinking about hard things today too. may you be blessed as you do.
Sarah, how did you get in my head!!!??? I needed to hear this today. I’m in the midst of coming to terms with losing a friendship that’s been in my life for many years. “Let us embrace endings so that we can also embrace beginnings because saying goodbye means we will be saying hello to something else.” I know the Lord is opening up so many new doors for me, the path I’m on is all in his perfect timing. Maybe if we focus on the beginnings rather than the endings…
yes!! let us focus on the beginnings. i’m sorry about your friendship loss. i know that feeling all too well.
Makes me think about how I need to let go of the past and say goodbye to them forever. Especially past hurts. They like to linger and pop back up and fester in my mind if I allow them to. But I’ve been fighting them with the word of GOD and they don’t have a chance. I pray for GOD’s strength to keep using the Word of GOD as my weapon and live each day as GOD would want me too with love, kindness, patience and the fruits of the spirit. The beautiful beginning from the hurtful past is my new found love and relationship with GOD. What a blessing that has had in my transformation. Thank you once again for your words. You are such a blessing!
thank you courtne! i will pray God’s strength for you this afternoon.
I too hate endings. Well, I hate change full stop! In 3 weeks I will move back to England after 10 months in France. I am so sad that this time is up, but I am excited about what will happen next and returning to France in a different context.
Hi Sarah – boy this post hit home for me. I experienced a “last” without knowing it at all – the last time I would see my son. February 6, 2012. A 50th birthday party that we both ended up attending. A picture was taken of us (that I don’t remember but oh I am so thankful it was) that I look at and wonder….will I ever see that smiling girl in the picture again? 24 days later my son would die when his apartment caught fire. And I am permanently stuck on that day. How do we move on from those “lasts” that we don’t find out until later…..regret over what was not said that day creeps into my thoughts. God walks this path with me – he keeps me upright most days. Now I treat every moment as thought it may be the “last time I do this”…….strange how our perscpetive changes.
I remember when you commented after your son had just died. I stared blankly at the screen and commented back that I would pray for you, and I did, though I barely had the words in such a situation. How are you doing?
Hi Lousie – thank you, I am doing ok – mornings are the worst time for me. I so appreciate your prayers!