I knew I shouldn’t have forced them to go on a picnic.
They were happy on the sofa enjoying one of their last summer pajama days and their adventuresome mother has donned her tennis shoes, baseball hat and says in her best Carol Brady voice,
“Come on kids. Let’s go on a picnic!”
Maybe my happy-voice will make it sound appealing.
Moans. Groans. Writhing under the blankets in front of cartoons. They raise their voices in a communal wail.
NO.
“Hey. I’ve packed a lunch. You can bring your bikes and we’ll bring a Frisbee to toss in the field.”
It doesn’t matter that its noon, that they’ve luxuriated on the sofa for more than 3 hours. It doesn’t matter that I’m ready to get out of the house for a little while, that this Mama is going a bit stir-crazy today.
After some prodding and a few minutes, I manage to move them from the living room to the car.
I often think that God gives us children so that we have a tiny glimpse into what its like to be Him, all the pains, griefs and joys that go along with being responsible for little people. We must love like Him, we must teach and discipline like Him and we also, I think, feel something of what He does when our resist what is best for them.
About 20 minutes into our walk I realize we’ll have to walk a bit further to find a proper bench in the shade.
“I’m HOT Mama!”
“I don’t want to walk any more!”
“Is it over yet?”
I’ll admit it’s hot. It’s August. Of course it’s hot. But they can’t see or feel anything but the heat and the fact they don’t want to be here. It clouds their vision.
I look back along the little road at my girls. The sun is high in the sky and the graveled footpath is worn. I’m carrying an unthrown Frisbee. I’m holding an untossed ball. And the two are fighting.
One is trying to run the other over with the bike. The other is screeching. Neither is laughing. This whole endeavor seems like a failure.
And I shake my head.
They haven’t noticed any of the wildflowers. Or the puffy clouds. They haven’t noticed the deep grass, green with the end of summer.
Maybe in some shallow, narrow way this is what Jesus sees when he watches us argue. We don’t see the journey. We don’t welcome the adventure of living. We don’t want to play. All we want to do is fight. And complain about the heat.
And when we’re fighting or complaining we can’t take part in the adventure.
My story isn’t going to end well. They never did find the puffy clouds and we didn’t lie in the field and close our eyes to the summer like I’d envisioned. We didn’t laugh as we threw the ball across the grass or race to the end of the lane.
None of it.
We just went home.
I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to be the person who hasn’t chased after God’s “frisbees” or accepted all of His invitations to adventure. I don’t want to be the girl who keeps complaining that the journey is hard, so much so that I fail to find the adventure in it.
I want to notice the wildflowers, but not just here in the open space, but in my capital J-Journey. I want to fall back on the grass and close my eyes to the end of summer and realize the adventure that is being handed to me like a beautiful gift.
Have you been invited on an adventure? Have you said yes?
Sarah,
First, your post captured my attention because of the word “adventure.” That’s my One Word for 2012 and I think you know that my life has been kinda crazy this year.
But then READING the rest of it, I can so identify. I wish I couldn’t, but I can. We fight these simple, beautiful offerings that are RIGHT IN FRONT OF US and miss out on a taste of the Divine.
And something about this story NOT going the way you imagined it encourages me; I’ve got my own versions of this to compare and it’s always nice to know I’m not the only one.
xo
it was funny. i was sitting in the park with them as they chomped pb and j and i thought that there has to be a way around it, right? you aren’t the only one, girl. love you. can’t wait to see you soon!
Could not help but notice how very very cool your daughter’s shoes are in that first pic! I know, I know, so deep.
ha! they are her new school shoes that she wants to wear everywhere!
Was just wallerin’ (lovely twang inserted) in these same thoughts this morning. Been called to a huge adventure that I am not equipped for in my own flesh. I’m sure He planned it all that way, but darn if this year has been about him breaking me of myself.
THIS :: “I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to be the person who hasn’t chased after God’s “frisbees” or accepted all of His invitations to adventure. I don’t want to be the girl who keeps complaining that the journey is hard, so much so that I fail to find the adventure in it.”
Oh THIS! Thanks for the encouragement and the push today girl. Wish I could hug your neck and chat more over a cup of coffee. Big Hugs – D
ha! i love it. thank you so much for YOUR encouragement today Dedra!
Thank you, dear Sarah, for encouraging me to see this from His perspective . .. and not as something I have to do. God bless you on the adventures He invites you to!
thank you so much Debbie!
Thanks for the post reminds me that my best laid plans aren’t always the best plans. Sometimes just going with the flow is a better choice than trying to force a solution. I need to keep this in mind and my life will be simpler and easier.
thank you carolyn!!
Beautiful, Sarah! I love that having children teaches us so much about God. I’m like you, I don’t want to miss the blessings he has for us NOW!
i so agree Amy! thank you so much for your comment!!