A letter to my ten-year-old
{for when she’s old enough to understand.}
You have my eyes, your father’s feet, my legs, his humor. You have my vulnerable heart, his penchant for play, my love for learning and his fondness to linger.
You are both of us, all of our rages and aches together wrapped up in a child’s body.
The two of us will probably never stop disagreeing — it is who we are — and I am just now realizing that you have gotten the most passionate parts of each of us genetically handed to you {something you never asked for} and unlike us who can live this conflict outside of our bodies, you must live this conflict inside your growing one.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to watch you struggle. You are too much like me and too much like your father, the internal swirling of passion and conflict that the two of us are every day are married in your tiny soul.
Maybe our greatest legacy to you, my dear, would be for us to show you how to calm the battles and to help the war to be a place of growth and rest rather than one of pain and sorrow. And I wonder if the only way we can do that is to model that peace for you.
Will you watch us try to work things out day after day, year after year? And will you see how much we love you by it? It perhaps even stretches beyond a love for one another and a love for peace and instead sweeps to the intense love we have for you. Our hope for you is that as you grow you will learn to calm the battles that take place inside you: the ones that ask you to learn and read and be silent and at the same time ask you to run and play and laugh.
Will you watch us grow as we watch you grow?
You have the best parts of both of us, I think. And you have made us so proud to know that our exterior failings can be redeemed in such a beautiful creation like you.
You show us true redemption, dear girl.
Mama
I love this post! What a treasure for her.
~Debra
thank you debra!
Love.
thanks Prudy!! =)
Poignant and beautiful.
thank you lisa!
Oh Sarah! How beautiful!! I have been having a similar push, well actually shove!, from our Lord to start writing to my children for when they also are mature enough to read it. The Holy Spirit does amazing things!! Through you, He has encouraged me to write!! My mother was wonderful — yet I wish I knew what was going on inside her as an adult, how she felt about her own life, her own ponderings, etc, But she was a very private person, so I never received that information. She has passed on now (she was 79) but I still know deep inside how she was like because she was pretty real. Just wish I had it on paper! Now, I can do that for my own children. You have motivated and encouraged me, Sarah. Thank you so much!!
thank you suzanne! and as to your other comment, i find that i’m often inspired by other writers. most every day. i’m glad i could help spark something in you! =)
btw — last night I was so troubled. I asked God, “I have this yearning to write, Lord, but I have no idea what to write about. Can you help me?” then I read your blog today and it all became as clear as a bell to me. Keep writing Sarah!! You are helping other people ( like me) stay close to God and think about so many interesting questions you pose.
Wow – this post was truly inspiring and touched my heart. As a daughter who is just entering adulthood and on my own, this really made me think about my parents and my future children. For the longest time I had such a hard time with my parents and focused on their failings, instead of rejoicing in what the Lord has done in their lives. I forget to thank God for the redemption he has brought to my parents in both of their lives separately and together and through each of us children who have received their passions. I forget that one day my failings are going to be highlighted and illuminated to my own children and that they will be products of the Lord’s redemption in my own life…thanks! Thank you for this post to remind me of the amazing qualities of my parents…and to remind me to thank the Lord for his never-ending, unfailing faithfulness and redemption.
that is beautiful Sarah! thank you so much for sharing.
Wonderful letter. Something every parent can and should read. Your phrasing is superb to catch just the right nuances. Well done
wow! thank you rich. what a great compliment! =)
Beautiful thoughts put into beautiful words.. Your openness is not only welcoming but refreshing. This letter is one of the many treasures you are leaving for your girls. Blessings to you and yours.
thank you so much Nonie!! =)
That was so beautiful Sarah! So heartfelt and real.
BTW the Dayspring lantern arrived today. THANK YOU so much! It will be part of my fall centerpiece this year. I love it. I will send you a pic when I have it all set up.
i would love that diane! thank you!! so glad it came.
This is one of the most beautiful things that’s ever come up in my Google Reader. Some parts felt like they might have been written to me. What an amazing reminder of how parents can bless their children by modelling what it means to be ‘one flesh.’ Your daughter will love this. Thank you for sharing.
Six years ago, when our story of pain and betrayal and brokenness began, there were few blogs like yours. When I first read your story, it resonated with me and gave me such hope. And when I read the post, “You Should Tell Your Story”, it confirmed what God had begun speaking to me. We finally shared our story publicly for the first time a week ago, and created our blog, jodyandjuliesimmons.blogspot.com. God has already brought people along our path to encourage, with the encouragement we have received from Him, and through others such as you.
Today’s blog speaks perfectly to the way I feel about my three children. Thank you for telling your story. Blessings
that is beautiful Julie! such bravery and courage! thank you so much for the kind words and blessings to you as you continue to share your story!