We Grow Larger with Our Joy

I escaped the rain and the delays and the people {all the people!} of three different airports today.

I slipped out before the storm and made it all the way back home.

Each leg of the trip brought a piece of home closer and made me feel one bit nearer to where I belong.

A roommate-soul-friend I whisper good-bye to as I shut off the bathroom light and shut the hotel room door.

A car ride with two lovelies in the early-dark to the first airport. Hand-kisses and hugs and I’ll-see-you-soons left our mouths as we said good-bye.

And then a walk through the next airport with only one person left.

And now I’m alone. I am just one as I make it into my last compacted tiny-plane-seat and I sigh. I’m almost there. I’ve left a little bit of my tension along the way. A little in Pennsylvania. A little in DC. And the last little bit I leave in Houston as the plane leaves the earth.

I’m almost home.

It’s funny. We begin the journey alone in our bathrooms putting on mascara in the dark trying to muffle the hairdryer so we don’t wake up our husbands. We begin to swell as we gather one and then a few others on the way. And then the group of us trickles into the hotel. We grow by leaps and bounds as laugh in groups and laugh in the elevators and laugh in the cars. It’s almost as if we grow larger with our joy.

And as we travel home again, we climb back down the ladder. We leave a bit of the joy also as we leave the people. Sometimes the hugs mean more because there is no calendar date to look ahead to. We become smaller and smaller as we come home again. We leave the girls in the car. We leave the friend at the airport.

And we become anonymous again.

But only for a few minutes.

“MAMA!” The glorious blue mini van pulls up and a six-year-old voice sings out. All the business people and rich people and people on the way to meetings look up as this mother pulls her bag toward the back of the minivan. I’m not embarrassed. Not at all.

I climb in the van and all of a sudden I’m home. And all the joy that I’ve had to disperse in small doses all over the US and all of the hugs that have meant until-next-time are worth it because now I am where I truly belong.

It is the rest that I have known I have needed. Home and hope and grace and courage. Simply that.

{To all the beauty-filled women I had the honor to meet this week, I’m SO glad we were in the same place and time at the right moment. Your love and words have changed me and you honor me with them. Thank you.}

My 31 days of rest might have turned into 29 days of rest, but you can read them all here.

 

Comments

  1. says

    I’m here from the Allume linkup! This is beautiful. I love the way that your words make me feel the waves of your emotions as they crest and fall. It sounds like an amazing conference.

  2. says

    Wow. So much truth and connection here with your words. I love it!

    And I loved your session too! There was a moment when your words spoke so deep into my passion that tears were in my eyes and I cannot remember exactly what words you were saying or how it spoke to me precisely but I am holding that moment close because it is rare that they come like that to me.

    Grace flows out of you so very naturally.
    Thank you.
    Thank you.
    Thank you.
    It’s beautiful!

    • Sarah Markley says

      wow wow! Lindsey! I prayed and prayed over that talk. so glad that it was what you needed to hear.

      and thank you for your words of grace. thank you.

  3. says

    Loved this! So true…so so true! I love you Sarah and believe that our hug in person will definitely not be our last! I so value your words….and your heart. You’re one in a million my friend and I love how your realness changes lives. It’s impacted mine for sure! Until our next hug and deep IRL conversation! :-)

  4. says

    Sounds like an amazing, much-needed trip! I follow your blog closely and often find myself forwarding your posts to my friends for encouragement. Whether you wrote 29 posts about rest, or 400, we see your heart and are better because of it. Just say that on those other days before you reached 31, you were living out what you were sharing with us :-) Who can argue with that? Enjoy home and all that it brings. Thank you for writing and for being obedient to God’s call for you to write. It matters!

    • Sarah Markley says

      ha!! i appreciate it shelly. thank you so so much for being a faithful reader. it means more than you know. =)

  5. says

    beautiful, as are you. so thankful for short conversations in airports where dreams are spoken aloud as coffee is sipped and tired eyes smile grateful for what has been and hopeful at what may still yet be. write that novel!!

  6. says

    Another example of your beautiful writing! So glad I was able to hear your session and we were able to meet.
    I understand that in seeing your van and the joyous children welcoming you home!

  7. Diana Denis says

    Sarah, it was such a pleasure to hear you speak. I’ve already been blessed immensely by your blog this year but on Friday morning this one line answered so much for me, “He has given us the ability to see Hjm in the world”. To that I say YES! I see Him when I see you, I see Him in my restored marriage., I see Him in the sunrise and sunset. Living with my eyes open. And, while I miss the women I connected with I’m also thrilled to be home.
    Continue to be blessed in all you do…for Him.

  8. Diana Denis says

    Sarah, it was such a pleasure to hear you speak. I’ve already been blessed immensely by your blog this year but on Friday morning this one line answered so much for me, “He has given us the ability to see Hjm in the world”. To that I say YES! I see Him when I see you, I see Him in my restored marriage., I see Him in the sunrise and sunset. Living with my eyes open. And, while I miss the women I connected with, I’m also thrilled to be home.
    Continue to be blessed in all you do…for Him.

  9. says

    Hi Sarah! It was such a pleasure to meet you at Allume. It’s always nice to meet another horsey person. :) So glad you made it home to your kiddos safely. And I am with you…I like the view at the top of the ladder but it is so nice to be back home and at the bottom! (Oh…and my daughter who we thought had fractures in her pelvis? Just a sprain! Thank you God and thanks so much for your prayers! )

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