Beyond Ordinary Giveaway

You all know my heart for marriage. Most of you know our marriage story and many of you have even heard me speak about it.  I really have a passion to see marriages make it, to see women and men be known and loved well by their spouses and to see grace abound in our relationships.

When I met Trisha Davis, it was because of what Chad and I had been through as a couple. I was in Nashville, she found out and asked to have coffee.

We both shared our hearts and I think, a new and a different understanding of both sides of this crazy coin was birthed.

Trisha and her husband, Justin, have written a book about their story, about marriage and about the dangers of settling into an ordinary marriage. In Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough Trisha and Justin share in a he-said, she-said approach that is both unique and refreshing.

From the website:

Justin and Trisha Davis know just how dangerous ordinary can be. In this beautifully written book, Justin and Trisha take us inside the slow fade that occurred in their own marriage—each telling the story from their own perspective. Together, they reveal the mistakes they made, the work they avoided, the thoughts and feelings that led to an affair and near divorce, and finally, the heart-change that had to occur in both of them before they could experience the hope, healing, and restoration of a truly extraordinary marriage.

I get to give away 3 copies of Beyond Ordinary today!

We are going to do it simple-like. Just leave a comment here in my comment box answering this question:

What is one simple lesson you have learned about marriage?

No need to use any rafflecopter widget or anything this time around.  Just leave the comment below. I’m going to close the giveaway on Saturday night at 9pm Pacific Standard Time. I’ll announce the winners on twitter and on my Facebook page.

What have you learned about marriage?

Follow Justin and Trisha’s marriage ministry at RefineUs.org

Buy Beyond Ordinary for yourself or a friend

Comments

  1. says

    I have learned in marriage that I need to offer grace and receive grace. When I was first married, I didn’t think about this at all, but I have learned that I need to lean on my Savior to show me how to give and receive grace. Be blessed:)

  2. Cindy says

    Marriage isnt all about love and passion. I used to think that’s all it was when I was first married. It takes a lot of hard work and forgiveness to stay married!

  3. Kate says

    It’s not 50/50, or 100/100…there are plenty of times when one will need to lean on the other and the supporting one will have to step up. But it’s ok, that’s how a partnership made of commitment works.

    Looking forward to reading the answers others give, and thank your for the opportunity to do so and to win a copy of what I’m sure will be a good book!

  4. Ryan Reveley says

    The simple thing I have learned as a husband who is also a father and a pastor is that my wife is always above everything on this earth. Jesus is first Andy wife is second. When I lose sight of that I fail in my other responsibilities.

  5. Bridgette Lester says

    That marriage takes everything you have every minute, every second, every hour of every day, it takes your heart and soul to love another human beings and extend to them grace and love each and every day. If you don’t nurture and work at your relationship it will not survive. Always remember there are 3 of you in the relationship (you, your husband, and God)…….

  6. Kristin says

    I have learned, that you can’t let the busyiness of life get in the way of your marriage. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day frustrations of life – work, traffic, all these irritations add up and you can end up taking it out on your spouse..and that begins chipping away at a marriage.

  7. says

    14 years of marriage here. Forgiving, letting go, and moving on has been what God has taught me. It is so easy to hold grudges and hold onto things. Freedom comes when we see our own flaws, forgive the flaws of our spouse, and move towards the Lord together.

  8. Ralph J says

    There must be a time to talk and listen to each other everyday. Maybe it will be just liteharted and not a serious deep conversation, but communication is the key. Don’t assume your spouse knows what you’re thinking and how you feel. Say it!

  9. ashley says

    I’m not married yet but I love observing Godly relationships work so I can try and prepare myself as much as possible before entering into that covenant! Just by watching my parents I’ve learned communication is SO important. My parents are such different people and one will be so sure X is the way to go when the other thinks Z is the absolute best. By assuming and not communicating, a fight often develops or the result is hurt feelings. On the flip side, if one chooses to communicate the other needs to be just as willing to listen! Communication is a balance of knowing when to talk, listen and to compromise!

  10. Lindsay says

    This past year has been the most difficult one for my husband and me. I cheated on him and we nearly gave up hope. Marriage is so much harder than I ever thought it would be and when you let it become ordinary or take the little things for granted, it can so easily become vulnerable. My husband has been amazing and gracious, and I have been learning that marriage… that love… is so much more than a feeling. I had heard it so many times before, but am only now starting to understand and experience this. We are staying together and doing the hard work of rebuilding trust. It is so uncomfortable and hard, but already I know we are getting to know one another on a whole different level and I am trusting daily that it is going to be worth it. Thank you for your story. It is so encouraging for me to hear stories of success after such heart ache in a marriage.

  11. Tamara Moore says

    I have learned that in order to have a happy marriage both partners much communicate even on the small stuff that comes up and to not let anger and resentment take hold. God designed us to be available to help each other rather its being the provider and leader of the home for the husband or being supportive an submissive a a wife… God wants us to use our marriages to glorify Him!!!!!

  12. says

    Hi Sarah,

    What is one simple lesson you have learned about marriage?
    Marriage lesson. Make a Love Choice by making sure there are Three in your Marriage. 1. Your Spouse. 2. You. and 3. the One who Holds Both of You. Together.
    Marriage is Choice. Before you are married (& every day after) Choose to Never have the Choice to not Be Married. God IS Love. Don’t Ever Be Afraid to Be IN LOVE. Ask God to show you His view of your spouse (& show your spouse His view of you) & to remind you of the 1st Love. What will be your Love Choice today? Yes, He can Love through you when you do not think you can. Three in a marriage is the Only way Two can become One.

    Thank you Sarah for sharing your story Boldly, giving Justin & Trisha a place to share theirs and for the opportunity to reflect on our marriage. John & I will celebrate 25 years of Love Choices this August 2013. May many more Marriages be Celebrated because you’all have chosen to share your Love Choices & God’s Love.

    Love Ya, Susie :)

  13. Samuel Paulraj says

    Servanthood and grateful heart that prevents me to go down the road of self-centered and entitlement lifestyle.

  14. Inna says

    Posting not to enter the giveaway, but to say that I just finished reading this book and it was really good. Even for those who are familiar with their story from the blog, the book offered many more things to ponder.

  15. says

    It takes work, but is completely worth it. It is better to speak up if I need something or expect something instead of waiting around and getting irritated or angry when I expect him to just know what I expect.

  16. brooke says

    i’m three years in and still so very new at it. i’ve learned i’m selfish. really selfish. i’ve learned i like control. before marriage, i don’t think i would’ve described me as either of those things. but it’s true…and it’s such a good thing to begin to peel those things off.
    i’ve also learned even more that i really love my husband. :)

  17. Lindsay says

    I haven’t been married long, but Im learning to see the parts of my husband and of our relationship that bother me the most as divine appointments from God to surrender to Christ’s life in me. Its teaching me how oh-so-dependent I am on God’s grace!

  18. Bailey says

    I have learned that Marriage has is a daily choice where you both have to decide that it’s worth fighting for every second, of every day.

  19. says

    Communication is the key to every thing else. As a married couple you need to communicate about finances, your relationship with God, the children, and your daily lives.

  20. MarkC says

    Faithfulness needs to go a lot deeper than avoiding adultery. It requires a heart and mind devoted to your spouse, which may only be possible through Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit.

  21. JennyBC says

    I am approaching 24 years in February. One simple thing I have learned is what it means to abide in a marriage. It means loving as well as seeing the best in each other and yet offering grace when the other one fails. It is being the other person’s greatest cheerleader as well as defender. But it means doing it in a quiet way that does not seek to overtake them, not to be proven right or the better of the two. It is a quiet partnership.

  22. says

    Marriage is a lot of hard work, but it is worth the pain. Life in marriage is beautiful. I think one of the most important things I’ve learned about marriage is to not put your head to rest before you talk out your arguments. It’s not good to go to bed, mad at the other person. Hope to be able to read this book. .

  23. says

    The biggest lesson I have learned is humility. The minute one of us gets prideful or self-centered, that’s when the problems start. Marriage is a daily exercise in dying to self. I would love to win this book; I have a friend who is in desperate need of it.

  24. says

    It’s studying and learning my husband…taking an interest in “his stuff”. Never knew I was going to like basketball and find something He, myself and our boys (now men) to have in common. I can hear the NBA notification on my hubby’s cell now ;-)

  25. Christy says

    That when something does happen in your marriage your husband is not your enemy, the devil is your enemy trying to tear you apart.

  26. says

    We tend to grow up in a world surrounded by fairy tales and Hollywood love stories. As much as we tell ourselves that those are not real life, a small portion of our minds just cannot let go of the idea that these stories are possible. Letting go of my ideas about marriage and embracing God’s plan has been one of the most difficult lessons I have learned. It takes work – hard work – and no amount of studying and advice can prepare you for what it will be like. The road is not always smooth, but the journey is well worth it.

  27. Tisa Holt says

    When the core root issue is intimacy with your spouse and the love you share, every other small issue becomes exasperated. When you’re not getting what you need emotionally, physically and mentally from your spouse, the world seems to fall apart. Attacking the core issue resolves it all. Without God in the middle of the marriage, your marriage is doomed. Praying for each other is important and forgiving and not ever bringing it back up is paramount. God first. Spouse second.

  28. Mashawn Hepner says

    Take time to be physically intimate with your spouse!! It will always draw the 2 of you closer….and he’ll probably never complain about his wife wanting intimacy with him!

  29. Kelli says

    When I out my husband’s needs before mine I not only show him respect, I honor God. A successful marriage is a selfless one.

  30. Laurie Moudy says

    It is so ironic that i checked my email tonight and read this post. My husband and I were just having a conversation that made me uncomfortable but I am realizing that I need to work on trusting him and that he says what he means and i should not compare myself to the images that are being placed in front of me everyday by media, magazines, etc of how the world views women . I need to communicate my fears, concerns, hopes and dreams with him.

  31. Heather says

    Thank you Sarah, for this great give-away. This looks like an excellent book. One lesson I’ve learned in marriage – pray for your husband every day and let him lead. The beauty that flows out of that deliberate obedience is glorious.

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