A few years ago Chad and I went to a backyard summer party for a friend of mine.
Besides her and her husband we didn’t really know a soul. It was time to pull on my extrovert panties and make it happen.
We grabbed drinks and Chad and I swung around the yard slowly. Twinkly-lights, paper straws in mason jars with sangria, big comfy cushions around the grass and we found a couple to chat with.
As the night wore on I found myself on a backyard sofa with a few people that we were just getting to know. Like us, most of them were the church-going type.
“So what are you reading right now?”
“How did you and your spouse meet?”
“Where do you want your life to be in five years?”
The questions flew. It was the flagship conversation among the thirty- and forty-something set who were just getting to know one another.
Someone turned directly to me. “Where do YOU want to be in five years, Sarah?”
I answered something general about writing, saying that I would like to have finished a book or two by then. And then like any good introvert at a party does, I lobbed the question back.
“What about you?” I turned to a man sitting kitty-corner to me on a different chair. I’d learned earlier that he was a pastor at a smallish church in my county. Pastor or no pastor, he looked he could be best friends with Phil Dunphy from Modern Family.
He leaned back in his chair and I could tell that not only did he have a specific answer to this question, but that he’d just been waiting until someone asked him.
“In five years, I would like to have at least doubled or tripled our church attendance and I would like to move to 3 Sunday morning services.”
I didn’t know how to respond.
Um. Good luck with that?
I’m pretty sure I just nodded and said that I hoped he accomplished that and then secretly wondered at what a strange answer this was.
And he had a plan. He knew how this was going to happen and he began to share it with all of us.
I sipped the last of my sangria and set down my cup on a table nearby. His answer was like a screech on the record of the evening.
This is not a message warning against large churches. Not at all. I’ve attended both small and large churches in my life and both have good things and bad things about them.
Instead, what struck me about this forty-something pastor’s answer was that he didn’t seem to be happy with his current church. In order for it to be what he thought was valuable, he needed it to be bigger, better and he needed to be in front of more people. He wasn’t satisfied with the small handful of young people and the expansive elderly population in his congregation. He wanted a young crowd, an edgy crowd, a crowd, I guessed, that would get his jokes.
The more he talked the more I wondered what he would do with the elderly population if he had a choice? Would he ship them off to a different house of worship?
Why didn’t he want to do the best with what he’d been given? Why did it need to be bigger or better to have value?
I think in our own arenas, whether we pastor churches or write blogs or move around the country on speaking circuits, we might all have a little of this guy’s same idea wrenched into our hearts.
So I wonder, why not be faithful with what we have now and then if it expands, if it grows, let it be from the out-pouring of our faithfulness rather then forcing what we think should happen into existence. Why not ask God what HE wants to do rather than tell Him my plans. Someone once said that when we do that, God simply laughs.
Sure I want to get a book written, published even. But am I fine if that doesn’t happen? Yes. I think I am. That answer has been a long time in coming for me, and has been accompanied by a lot of waiting, but yes. I would rather God fit me into His ideas for me, rather than me fit Him into my ideas for me.
I think that God just wants us to be faithful today. Right now. Faithful with what we have and with what is right in front of us.
What do you think? Do you, like me, sometimes want the bigger or better because we think it has more value?
Wow, your post has really shook me up today, Sarah. Back when I was in ministry I worked for a pastor that had from a pretty large church in Ohio. The church I served in was about six to seven hundred strong and slowly growing, but this wasn’t enough for my new pastor. He wanted thousands in the church….more than that he wanted the biggest church in the city. He was so determined to succeed with his vision that he added a third service to our normal two services because he thought it might encourage more people to come, even though our previous two services were both never packed out.
This man had massive visions for our church and they all centralized around becoming a “mega” church. I remember how frustrated I would get when he had an event of some sort put on by the church and not as many people showed up as he desired, and He’d get totally ticked off. Home slice lasted a year in my church and then left with a few days notice.
I feel like I can kinda relate with what you’re saying here. It’s so important that instead of looking at our current situation as a bad one, that we instead understand that we are right where God wants us to be. Great post!
thanks so much for your comment. what a sad story. and yes, we are right where we are supposed to be. too bad home slice didn’t get that.
So, once I got past the “snorting coffee out my nose laugh” at the image of one putting on extrovert panties
I let the words of what you said just settle in my heart. God has been showing me the enough of my life and just the other day this question came to me as I was writing. —> “Enough,” God says “Enough!” He has brought order to my life and my steps have been measured and counted. And, if God has counted my days and ordered each moment, should I not then stop counting my failures?” I just love it when God begins a work in me and then uses other people like you to confirm that work. Thanks friend for sharing.
oh i love that. let’s stop counting our failures; super great idea!!
And this is exactly why we have had such a hard time finding a church home in SoCal.
It’s funny; the other day I was in our neighborhood grocery store and watched the store manager greet patrons by name, ask about key things of their lives, make a comment to the late delivery guy, direct people where to find items in the newly designed store, etc. He is great at this job. He is obviously passionate about doing his job well and it shows. I’m not one of the ones he knows by name, yet I thoroughly appreciate him and go to that store for groceries nine times out of ten. Watching him helped me to realize that I am looking for my grocery store manager’s attitude/aptitude in our next pastor. Yet every church we try seems to be a “more seats” kind of place. *sigh*
I guess I’m all about “deeper,” not “broader.”
right. i hear you. not all churches have the same agenda, for sure. some do, unfortunately.
I love your story about the manager. i love it. and i’m about deeper too. thank you for your wise thoughts!
Amen Sarah.
Why do we despise the small when Jesus sought it out?
Why can’t we be satisfied with doing what God called us to do today?
Oh to be faithful no matter how many are watching or not watching. May I be obedient to Him in all things.
oh yes. jesus did seek out the small, didn’t he?
What a great reminder! I am slowly letting go of the bigger is not better mentality. Like you I think big things are great but great things started out small but faithful. Spending the time in the small helps us grow so we are ready for the big.
My husband and my kids shared 1 bathroom in our last house. I desperately wanted a bigger house…now that I have a bigger house I have 5 toilets to clean (granted 2 we hardly use, in the basement and the 3rd floor). I wanted more bathrooms but I didn’t consider that I had to clean more bathrooms
The small is a training ground and I am learning better than to rush through it and trust God’s timing.
yes!! thank you Kimberly!
What a great reminder. If we are not faithful with the small things in life…why would God trust us with something bigger. Thank you for posting.
thank you for reading! =) it’s been a lesson i’ve been learning too.
Thanks, Sarah. The “business model” of church can be damaging to the church. Also, growing a church based on the pastor’s personality or charisma or his agenda doesn’t last. The real question: Is discipleship still going on and the church growing if the leader or leadership team leaves?
I have pastored small and medium sized churches; every church I have ever pastored as grown. Would I like to see the church grow? Yep, but not for the reasons you mention. I like our people to think that the most important person in our church is the next one to visit our church. That is, God’s heart is to reach people (Luke 19:10) and have them “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18). Thus, it is both reaching out and growing deeper.
Interesting—in this Southern California mountain community the unchurched rate is 98%.. I tell our people we don’t look for people moving from one church to another (we accept them if they come ). Rather so many need to hear of Jesus Christ. In the last two months I have baptized two adults and one infant (I am Lutheran). Plus we have 8 people taking classes now for membership… class lasts 26 weekullmans of our members are re-taking the classes with them to walk with, encourage and learn with the new people. Built in assimilation! This doesn’t sound impressive, but we are only starting. I have seen the multiplication process continue to grow healthy disciples for long periods of time. So our motto is not “hop on board because we need as many as possible”; rather we are committed to discipleship, lifelong discipleship.
Thus, Paul’s model is one to examine: And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others (2 Timothy 2:2). That involves four generation discipleship. That is work, commitment, and love.
Commitment for us? Attend one large size Bible study, participate in one small group, and serve one area of ministry. If you have more time, go home and love your family. The church is us growing and learning and serving together. However large that may be, doesn’t matter to me. What matters is speaking the saving Gospel to one more person, and helping current members to grow to “full maturity” (Ephesians 4:11-16).
Thanks for sharing this, Sarah.
this is so encouraging Rich! thank YOU for being faithful to God and to your congregation over the long haul. discipleship is so important. i agree. again, i always love your comments!
LOVE this.
thank you dionna!! =)
I read this earlier and kept coming back to thinking about it all throughout the afternoon. It touches me on so many levels, because I am in ministry, and have been guilty of wanting the “bigger” and “better” (and agree with your sentiments that, for some pastors, that desire is rooted in self-promotion, rather than a true heart for evangelism). On another level, I’m working on writing a book, and every time another friend publishes her book, it feels like a little stab reminding me that mine isn’t done yet, time is wasting away, and it might just never happen. Whenever I stop pushing, it seems to happen naturally, and when I push harder, everything seems to stop. I loved this quote and will think about it often: “So I wonder, why not be faithful with what we have now and then if it expands, if it grows, let it be from the out-pouring of our faithfulness rather then forcing what we think should happen into existence.” Anyway, I ramble, but thank you for this word today; it encouraged me!
so yes, you must know that that is where I am. right? love it that we are on the same page! here’s to finishing your book Jaimie! and me too =)
First let me say, I want the book for you. I do. One day after I had been reading in the blog world after many weeks and writing then (not really doing that now on the blog) I realized that everyone was positioning to write a book. Everyone might be an overstatement—most were building platforms. I sort of felt sucked in because I had been reading for content and encouragement. One writer in particular begged for “likes” on facebook and it seemed every second or third post was her lament about not getting a book contract.
Can I say that building a blog following and writing about life could be more important that writing a book? I come here often or I read in my email. I have come to know your heart and your family. I don’t know how many readers you have but you are weekly pouring into others life. You could write a book and we would read it but it might be like many that we have read and be on our clouds or up on the shelf. I read so few more more than once. You are giving us something nourishing a bite at time and you should never underestimate the impact of that on others. I realize it maybe hard to see from the other side of the screen.
You may have gotten this “lecture” before but it is really meant to encourage and say what you are doing here in your space in the vast world of the Internet matters. I think you do have the right perspective about your writing and your calling and I am cheering you on.
And just so you know, I need that kind of clarity in my life and your writing today encouraged me to dig a little deeper.
Some artists are never appreciated on this side of heaven. They have heard the clap of One and it was enough. Their work and beauty are now appreciated by millions. Thank you for valuing the One in the audience that really matters.
All I kept thinking is that Paul said; he planted, Apollos watered, and GOD gave the increase. Not: Paul planted, watered, and took credit for the increase too.
Sorry. that is just what was in my head as I read about this guy.
I totally agree with your viewpoint, Sarah.
Having been in full-time ministry (or should I put that having been PAID to be in full-time ministry; cause aren’t we all supposed to be full-time Christians?), I have heard countless pastors and preacher boys make the same statement and it always makes me cringe. And I would think the same as you; what’s wrong with giving 100% now and being content with what God’s put in your path?
And the thing about the elderly? It irks me when people discount those who put the roots down for that church to be there, the ones who sacrificed and gave so much to see WHAT IS THERE flourish. I see this so much in respect of music preferences. So often it is; “throw out the old hymns that the elderly who built this place like” and replace it with loud upbeat music that makes them wait out in the hall until the worship/singing/music part is over then they come in during the announcements so they can sit and hear the sermon. Yes. I have seen this happen and it broke my heart. (disclaimer: I love BOTH styles of music and like seeing a blend of music so all are considered.)
I appreciate your post. Thanks for sharing it.
Sarah,
I don’t normally post comments. I have enjoyed your posts, primarily because you are authentic — struggling, learning, growing, seeking Him. If we are truly honest, we are all broken vessels.
I learned the lesson this pastor may experience. I am not a prophet, but I now have learned that when I make plans, God may well have different ones. I had big plans for growing my company, firmly convinced that God was blessing this business for His kingdom. The financial collapse of 2008 came at exactly the wrong time. Financial collapse was imminent. Advisors recommended bankruptcy.
At one point, I gave the business to Him. (It was his business, anyway, wasn’t it.) At that very moment, amazing things began to happen to save this business. Miraculous things. The business and I are not out of the woods yet, but I can see His hand at every step of the way.
Lessons: 1. My plan (most human-centered plans?) was rooted in pride — pride I did not see until it was about to be lost.
2. Once I gave the business to Him — I realized I wanted Him more — I was at peace. Peace does not mean pain-free, but it is where you should be. 3. In every case (?), I think God’s plan for you is better than you could envision for yourself. “Better” does not mean success or more money. It does mean being closer to Him. I am grateful He love me enough to redirect me.
I have to admit I do focus a lot on the bigger and better as I place a lot of value in those things. You got me pondering on that last question. But I’m noticing change. Keep those posts coming. Thanks for sharing.