This is one of those weeks during which I’m busier than I ever thought was possible, and out of my mind more than I could have ever imagined. It feels as if no human woman can maintain this pace for much longer.
I’ve been in a get-it-done mode for as long as I can remember.
As we were getting settled with the after-school snacks, the early evening showers and the homework beginnings around my house, I asked my fifth grader to get out her math so we could look at it.
“But Maaham!” She looked at me with exhausted eyes. “Tonight’s assignment is so long. I’m just going to use a homework pass. Ok?”
The typish-A, study-hard, study-well personality that I am immediately said, “No, you need to do your math and save your pass for a day you lose or forget it.”
That’s what I would do.
That’s the kind of thing I did do.
That’s what’s smart and studious and disciplined, right?
That’s wisdom, right?
“But, I just need some time tonight. I just want to be with you guys.” She looked down at her notebook, overflowing with fifth-grade science and spelling pages and smelling like graphite and school.
She’s right.
You’re right. Of course you need time. I need time. Almost every day, I need some time just to be and to not work and to use a homework pass on the dishes and the laundry and scooping the cat litter.
So little-girl-who’s-almost-a-woman, go put away your books and your pencil, go zip up your school bag until the morning and pull out your favorite book, {you know, the one that’s like chocolate cake} and take some time. Take some time with yourself, with us, with your sister.
Because that is what good living is sometimes: knowing when to work and knowing when to put it aside.
And I don’t want to teach you to barrel through no-matter-what, to leave people and important things in the dust. I want to teach you to make the right choices and live life with balance.
That’s good living: to know the difference. To use a homework pass. To just breathe.
Great post! It’s so hard to learn balance. Knowing when to take a break (and not just procrastinate). But also knowing when to take a rest, so you can come back stronger. Sounds like she is very wise.
And I didn’t know you had a twin sister btw
Great post! It’s so hard to learn balance. Knowing when to take a break, and not just procrastinate. But also knowing when to take a rest, so you can come back stronger. Sounds like she is very wise.
And I didn’t know you had a twin sister btw
I agree with the previous poster, it is hard to learn balance. And as a parent, it is hard to teach it as well. This sounds like one of those valuable teaching moments.
Love this post. When my children were younger and in school, we would have what we called “a day we just don’t feel like it.” The it being the responsible, type A get -it-done excellent thing. I would call work and tell them I needed a day, with my children, a day for myself. I love your perspective – “:a pass.,” It is vital to good mental health I think to take these opportune times(not really often) to take a pass and breathe. I still do it today.
Thank you for your post.
Blessings ~Debra
Awesome! It’s so important to let our kids choose for themselves. My 1st grader, Boston, is really behind in a project at school. All the other kids have most of their fictional family houses complete and Boston only has 1 room. He brought it home this weekend to do some more work. He’s behind because we went to Costa Rica for 12 days after Christmas and missed a good week of school. “It’s worth it Mom. I’m okay with it.” Because we got to be together and eat at the waffle bar, and go zip lining (which is not something PE offers) and watch movies in bed together. It’s worth it.
Thank you Sarah for your lovely post and reminder about homework passes. It came at just the right time. I am a student myself and sometimes forget that although it’s important, relationships come first. Thanks again.
This is such a good reminder
I need a stack of those passes. But then I’d probably just save them all for a rainy day that never comes.
What I really need is a quota for my passes, but then that would defeat the purpose wouldn’t it? You’re right, of course — learning to just breathe — in and out with the rhythm of life. You wouldn’t think it should be so hard. Thanks again for this reminder.