(Did you really think I was going find an appropriate “X” word?)

Blogging my (failed) attempts at moderate weight loss this past fall has been very exposing. Much more than I thought it would be.

I kept myself accountable to a weekly video post, sometimes winning the seven-day war, but usually fizzling into a post-weigh-in period of laziness and undisciplined eating.

I exposed my actual weight in real numbers, my failures, and my eating habits.

It is so difficult and uncomfortable to show so much of myself. (A little bit like that horrible nightmare you have when find yourself in 11th grade US History and didn’t remember to put on your pants. Or that you are grocery store shopping naked. Yes, I’ve had that dream. Scarring, I know.)

But even though exposure is highly disconcerting, it is a good thing. I’ve learned more about myself in the journey, I’ve become more open with others and I’m learning to be less embarrassed in general. I think exposure also shows others that I am real and that really, at the core, we are all very similar in our fears and struggles.

So, thank you 2008 for showing me that the discomfort of exposure can bring about good results. Even if I am still at the same weight as when I began.