I’ve been split wide open since last week.

Your stories, your words, even your anger. It has raked me and split me.  I am different than I was at the beginning of last week.

I’ve been changed by the hurt I hadn’t expected to learn about and by the stories of betrayal and deception. I’ve also been changed by your stories of life change and restoration.

My heart has been split in two by

your forgiveness

your acceptance

your understanding

your ministry to others who are hurting.

I completely underestimated how much this, how much you, would change me.

But you have to understand how scared I was. I was terrified for weeks and even the day before wondered if I should really do this.  Yet, over and over again in the comments you say the words:  Bravery. Courage. Boldness. And I’ve been convinced I made the right choice.

But I’m not brave. I’m not bold! I was (and still am) absolutely frightened. And if I am at all courageous, it’s because I just showed up and wrote what I needed to write.

So can courage and fear exist in the same place?

I still don’t know…